8. Hellena

8

HELLENA

I 'm about to scream when one of the hands grabbing me clamps over my mouth lightly, stifling my cry.

"Whoa…Hellena?"

The shocks of fear warp into something else at the sound of that voice and the realization of whose hands are keeping me from bolting.

"Tell? What the fuck, man!" It bursts out of me in a rush of relief and irritation.

"Uh, I was going to ask you the same thing when you barreled into me…" He's laughing as he says it, stepping back just a bit to let me catch my breath. My heart is still pounding, but if anything, I find that I want him to pull me back in close.

"Sorry. Just got startled."

"No kidding?"

"Wait. Are you following me?" It's meant to be a tease, but it seems awfully odd to run into him on a random street in the upper Woods neighborhood.

"You know, I do have better things to do than follow your sweet ass around town," he says with a smile that tells me he'd love to do just that and more.

How does he do that to me? A guy I met one time!

Who kissed me better than anyone else ever has…

"I'm heading to my friend's house just up the road. Walk me there?" At least for the sake of some company. The sensation of being followed still lingers on the back of my neck.

"Yeah, I can do that. Actually, I've been hoping I'd run into you. We never had a chance to exchange info." He turns to let me pass, falling into step beside me. As flustered as I am, and a little miffed at the way we just fall into sync so easily, I can't help but marvel at how disarming he is.

Usually, I would keep my guard up with someone new, questioning their motives. Not that I'm paranoid, just cautious.

My gut says he's safe, though. That I should trust him.

"Maybe I did that on purpose to leave you guessing." I nudge him with my shoulder.

"I really was guessing after I heard what happened at that party."

"Ugh. Don't remind me."

"But you got away?" Now I feel a little suspicious, because I can tell the question is rhetorical, like he knows I didn't. I debate evading the issue or testing him to see what he knows.

Instead, I take the direct path. I'm too damn tired to play games.

"Did you know the cops were coming?"

A little jerk of his head tells me I'm onto something, but he doesn't look guilty, just a bit stunned. "Not exactly. I called 911 to save some pukey girl's life upstairs. I didn't think they'd bring the whole squad."

"But you also didn't want to be around to answer questions when someone showed up, huh?" I press.

His eyes narrow at me as we reach my destination, a condo at the end of the side street. "You're too damn sharp, Hella. Remind me not to try and pull one over on you."

A mischievous glint gleams in his eyes as he leans a bit closer to me. The warmth of his body through the casual, soft hoodie he's wearing pulls me in, but I hold back. "I won't remind you. I'll only tell you once, actually…"

"Tell me what?" His face is so close I could kiss him, easily.

"That if you ever…"

"Yeah?"

"Try…"

"Uh-huh?"

"To lie to me, I'll kick your ass and you'll never see me again." The whispered statement has him pulling up short.

Still, we're just inches apart, staring right into each other's eyes.

"Wow. You're…"

"Not to be messed with? You're catching on," I whisper.

"Oh, I would love to mess around with you…" And our lips brush, ever so slightly.

"Cute." I drop back out of reach, just to see the look of longing on his face. Normally, I'd roll my eyes at the comment, but memories of the other night flash through my mind and my body remembers too well how good he felt, how good he feels, just being close to him. A keen ache settles between my legs and I can't help but taunt him. "We need to work on your corny flirting a little."

"What? It seems like it's working just fine to me…" Green eyes drag down to my chest, my stomach, lower.

"Speaking of working , what do you do for a living, Tell?"

"That's an entire conversation I don't think you have time for. Unless you want to come with me, grab a bite to eat…?"

"Not tonight, but soon. All I have is time on my hands right now. I kind of got expelled."

"What?" Genuine angst wrinkles his brow. "Hellena, that's so fucked up. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I took risks. Now I'm paying for them. Or trying to, anyway." I laugh humorlessly at my joke.

"Are you saying you need a job?" The teasing look in his eyes is back, but the heated moment has definitely passed.

"I mean, if you know of anybody hiring. And don't you dare tell me to strip."

"I'd wreck anyone who told you to do that. Unless it was something you wanted to do. For me."

He bobs his eyebrows as he reaches back, taking out his wallet and sorting through the billfold.

"Here. Take this card. I'm not sure if it will help, but…"

"Hey, I'll try anything at this point." I shrug.

"It's not exactly conventional, just someone I've heard of who may be able to assist?—"

We're interrupted by the sound of music flooding out from an open doorway.

"You lost, pretty boy?" A snappy voice echoes down into the alley around us. Ora leans out over the railing of her porch, eyeing Tell with a skeptical grimace. "What are you doing stalking my friend, Vand?"

"I was just escorting this lovely lady to your door, Miss Clive. Happened to be coming from a buddy's house down the block." Tell gives her a sidelong glance. Of course they know each other. "And Hellena and I were just catching up ."

"Catching up? Don't tell me this is the cute boy from the party?" Ora pulls a sour face.

"Maybe…" I shrug. Turning back to Tell, I raise an eyebrow. "Vand?"

"My last name. Guess we never really got properly introduced, did we?" He shrugs, grinning like he got caught stealing a cookie.

"Make sure Granddaddy's guys don't catch you snooping around. Watch yourself around this one, Hell. He's…"

"Mysterious?" Tell interjects.

"That's definitely one way to put it." Ora smirks. Weird.

"Have you two…"

"HELL NO!" They both yell in unison. Ora pushes off the railing with a huff and turns to head back inside. "Better watch out where you put your nose, or it'll get chopped off, Vand."

"You wouldn't chop off my best feature!" he yells after her.

"Right now, she's your best feature. Now hurry up and kiss goodbye, then get your delicious ass up here, Hell!"

"Coming!" I shout.

Tell gauges my response to the whole interaction before leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. He pauses an inch away, and I let him hover before I turn just enough to feel his breath on my lips. The space between us is electric .

So is the tension as he waits, I wait, each of us holding out to see who will cave first.

I feel myself slipping right before he dives in, cupping one hand around my head, fingers grazing the back of my neck through my hair just as our lips meet, teasing just a hint of tongue. It's the kind of kiss you only get with someone you've kissed before. There's no hesitation this time. No cautious exploration.

Just need. Passion.

We pull back at the same time, resting our foreheads together.

"I really need to get moving, Hellena. But I have to see you again." He slips his number into my hand.

"Then make it happen. And this?" I hold up the other card he gave me, embossed only with a logo and a phone number.

"Like I said. Someone who may be able to help you."

"The kind of help I need is… insurmountable. Or at least not your average trouble."

"That sort of thing happens to be their specialty, from what I hear."

"So, like a bookie?"

"No, no. Just call the number. See if you can get a meeting and whether you like what they offer you." Tell backs away with just enough swagger in his step to make me fall a little harder and hate every second of it. "Trust me."

Trust.

It always comes back to that.

And with so few options left to me, I don't have much of a choice but to trust him and try.

As far as he goes… I want to trust that the fluttering sensation he's causing in my stomach is real and not a huge mistake.

When I reach the top of the stairs, Ora's standing in the doorway waiting for me with a sly grin. The look in her eye is one I can imagine lots of people have seen right before she kicked their ass. Instead, she slaps mine on my way through the door and the blush that was fading from kissing Tell floods my face again.

Ora catches me as we step into the hallway. "Whose card did he give you?" Her usual giddy nature is gone for a split second, replaced by a sharp look.

"I have no clue. It's just got this symbol on it."

"Huh."

"Huh, what?"

"Nothing. Just heard some weird shit about that company. Can't hurt to meet with them, I guess." And the look is gone, replaced by an indifferent shrug. I can't help noticing that this sort of thing keeps happening the longer I live in Sanctum.

Secrets. Snippets of information.

Everyone guards what they know like it's currency.

"Oh, and speaking of weird. Before you come inside, I wanted to warn you. My parties are… different."

"Do I need to sign an NDA and a waiver?" I laugh.

"No. Maybe I should start doing that…" She taps her lips with one finger. "Just keep an open mind tonight. My friends and I like to get a little wild. Get free . But no one expects you to do anything. It's all about having a good time."

"Okay…"

"My recommendation is to watch. Take it all in. Enjoy the show!" That's all the explanation she gives as we turn into the living area.

Her condo is huge, a massive open plan that spreads from a lounge to a great room to the kitchen across a space bigger than Gavin's entire house.

Spread out through the room are a motley collection of people, most of them dressed casually.

Well, casually or not very dressed at all.

Several men and women are topless, conversing and drinking. Others are in loungewear, robes, or just underwear, all of it looking as though they planned the outfit for the evening.

It's odd, and definitely not what I would have expected from Ora.

"What?" She laughs, catching the look on my face. "Bar fighting and carousing is for bars. They have their time and place, but I have other tastes, too. I even do normal shit like watch movies on the couch sometimes, go figure! Come on, I'll grab us some drinks."

I have no idea how to respond as she leads me through the mix.

The party is everything mine never were. It's relaxing. Chill.

And despite the fact that the apartment is extremely luxurious and it's in a part of town I'll never be able to afford to live in, it doesn't feel hoity-toity like the houses up on the hill, and those of the kids I planned parties for.

Every person at this party is engaged, intensely so, but not losing control and going insane. Maybe it's just early?

They are all clearly having a great time, without the desperation of college kids trying to get wasted and grope someone. The effect is instantaneous on my mood, loosening me up and untying some of the knots I've had in my stomach for days now.

When I do relax, I notice more details, things that would normally unnerve me but in this setting I find intriguing, charming.

Every body type is present here, all beautiful in their own way. No one is ashamed or uncomfortable. I almost giggle as a woman with hips even wider than mine winks at me and pinches Ora's ass as we pass by.

Eyes follow us, but it's not leering or judgmental.

To our left a slender, wiry young couple dance slowly to the trance music saturating the main living area, completely unaware of anything else around them. That's when I start to notice more signs of the various intoxicants flavoring the party.

Yet not a single person is losing their shit.

Not that I don't condone going nuts every once in a while, but there's so much more of an appeal in this method of indulgence. For someone like me, who has some serious control issues, if I'm honest, the idea of being able to let loose safely sounds like a straight up fantasy.

"Help yourself to anything you want, food or drink. There are a couple of extra bedrooms down the hall for later, if you need to crash here. Just don't be surprised if there are occupants in some, and lock the door if you don't want company, ‘K?" Before I can answer, Ora passes me a glass and she's off, mingling, giving hugs, and chatting.

A few sips of wine have my nerves almost completely gone, and one of the plush, black couches along the far wall calls out to me to find a place to relax and watch the show.

Maybe once I get my bearings, I'll even mingle a little myself.

I'm still struggling to reconcile the Ora I met in jail versus the woman I see giggling with a nearly naked couple by the floor to ceiling windows that lead out to the patio. If anything, it makes me like her more, the fact that there's more to her than I initially thought.

It also makes me realize that I don't know very much about her. So very little.

In the heady buzz growing in my head, it occurs to me that I want to.

That I need a friend like her.

That I need to make changes and trust someone. Tell. Gavin. Ora.

Panic always makes me shut down. Maybe instead, I need to open up.

My little moment of revelation is interrupted suddenly by the very woman in my thoughts. Ora is in my lap, sitting like she belongs there.

"Are you having a good time, Hell?" She's practically glowing, stripped down to a sleek, silky outfit that vaguely resembles pajamas.

"I really am, actually. It's so laid back here." I feel like I'm apologizing as I say it, for sitting quietly in the corner while everyone else dances, talks, or kisses.

"That's the whole point. If you decide you want to say… Hi to anyone, let me know." The way she says it makes it clear what ‘Hi' means in this case.

"I most certainly will. But I was thinking more about… dancing . I need to move ."

"YES! Why didn't you say so sooner?"

I feel my shoulders tense a bit and a shrug coming on. As confident as I've always made myself be about doing my own thing, there are certain areas of my life and myself that I've stuffed down. Like dancing.

My past.

Like how I feel about my body.

Ora's gaze softens, like she can read my thoughts. "I am one hundred percent positive that you and that banging body of yours can move like a fucking goddess, Hell. Everyone here would be blessed to see it. And if anyone even looks at you funny, you know I'd murder 'em, right?" A hint of that drunken psycho from our jail cell glints in her eyes.

"Lead the way."

Take a chance.

Let go.

Maybe it's the wine, but I really feel driven as we shuffle to the middle of the already crowded dance floor, which is pretty much the entire apartment at this point.

Ora twists to the thudding rhythm of the song and she turns to me, holding my hand.

Her body is incredible. Dark skin. Perfect lines.

Everything I always wished mine could be growing up.

Ora bobs her eyebrows at me and offers me a sip of her drink as I find my footing, still a little awkward. I narrow my eyes at the cup in question. My dance partner pulls me close so I can hear her say, "Just a little something extra to help you relax."

I take a sip.

Then Ora kisses me, right at the corner of my mouth, not quite on the lips, but the sensation releases an electric zing that has me sucking in a deep, full breath, followed by a long sigh dragging all of my tension away.

It's subtle.

There's no loss of control or numbing, just a wash of pure relaxation sweeping me into the flow of the mood. Any thoughts of insecurity can't find a foothold as I feel my hips start to sway, closing my eyes to let the music take me in.

My dance instructors and classmates always complimented me on my grace, my natural talent. I always blew it off, just happy to dance as a way to release stress and express myself in private.

I never performed at recitals or performances.

I couldn't do it.

Now, I let every bit of that pent-up frustration out.

None of my skill or ability even matters as we all move together as one entity.

Pure euphoria takes me for the ride, and it's not the drink or the drugs. The energy carries us along, swelling with the climax of the song.

I look around and see it in every face around me. The two guys caressing, stroking each other's arms, hips. A young woman, every inch of her covered in tattoos, lost in her own world. Ora, spinning from partner to partner, smiling from ear to ear and never taking her eyes off me.

Pure. Freedom.

The night blurs by in a sea of movement and faces, hands and voices, meeting so many amazing and accepting people. It's everything I always dreamed Sanctum Harbor could be, that I never knew how to find.

Acceptance.

Regular people like me who are willing to live and let live. The vibe makes my heart come alive.

Well, that, and the crystal clear sexual tension that surges like lightning through the air.

As that energy takes more and more of the crowd into embraces, deep kissing, and in many cases writhing and moaning, joining of bodies, I slump back to my spot on the couch, stunned by the whole experience and worn out from the physical release of dancing.

Ora's assertion that I can just watch settles my worry over joining into the next phase of the revelry.

I watch, living vicariously through each gasp and shiver of pleasure echoing over the music.

A hand slides down to cup a woman's ass, his tongue driving into her, devouring every drop of what I see dripping down her thighs.

Another man's cock throbs to his lover's touch, his head arching back as she guides him into her, achingly slow.

On the couch across from me, she tips back into a bend, taking one lover in her mouth and the other between her legs.

If I had known what the night would hold at the start, I might have backed out, but as I sit grinding my hips into the couch cushion under me, I feel a laugh shudder up, soft and incredulous.

I may never be bold enough to have sex in front of anyone.

However, this party opened my eyes to the fact that I'm so inexperienced with what I like. What I want or could want.

A woman cries out, giggling with pure release as her lover worships every inch of her. I want that.

I want someone who will take me. All of me.

Her nipples peak as she pushes herself up off the couch, bracing against the drive of his fingers curling inside her and his mouth at her clit. I find myself holding my breath as I watch, reaching for the edge to tip over it with her. Craving that release for myself.

Swells of longing have my hands clenching the cushion and debating whether I should tear off my clothes and give in, my own nipples pressing through the soft fabric of my shirt uncomfortably.

A voice inside my head tells me just take it off, lose the fabric.

Feel the air on your skin.

I'm not quite there, and I don't want to fall out of the moment.

Another gorgeous man watches me watch him kiss his partner's neck, driving up into her with deep, powerful thrusts. He smiles knowingly.

Like he can tell I'm enjoying every second of watching them.

But I'm not watching them, not exactly.

In my head they're me, and Tell, and maybe a little bit of Gavin thrown in the mix for good measure.

Swelling fire fills me, starting at the base of my spine, tingling down the backs of my legs and working its way back up in waves of skin pebbling shivers. I've never experienced something like this before, such intense arousal, but even more , feeling like I'm being dragged to the edge of orgasm without even touching myself.

I've never been much for watching porn. But this is so different.

This is like living it through someone else.

Gyrating hips to my right, he's thrusting behind a beautiful dark haired woman, her eyes rolling back in her head. His hands slide up under her, circling up between them, the other sweeping up to her exposed breasts.

They're not his hands, though.

They're Tell's.

He pulls out inch by inch, slick with my desperate desire for him.

The sensation vibrates through me, my imagination nearly making it reality.

A single thought intrudes, just for a second. I wonder if I can ever be as free as all of these beautiful people…

It's gone in an instant, as if my body demands that I let myself have this, just this once.

My eyes droop closed, tingling surges rushing to my fingertips, curling my toes into the carpet. I must have kicked off my flats at some point.

Behind my eyes, a theater plays out. My lips trace down a lean, tan line of abs, feeling him gasp to my touch. His long fingers scratch through my hair, begging me to take every inch of him. My hands drift along, down his thighs, but for a second, they're more muscular. They belong to my protector, my roommate…

Until I imagine looking back up, into bright green eyes. Tell's eyes.

He drags me up, wrapping long, well-muscled arms around me, nipping my earlobe with his teeth.

Whispering that he wants me to tell him my secrets.

My deepest, darkest desires.

Shuddering waves of pleasure rush up through me from my core. It's a buzzing sort of orgasm, lighter and less deep, but so satisfying. The kind that usually leaves you wanting more, wanting to be filled .

And somewhere far off, as I drift into even more sensual dreams, I realize my hand slid down the front of my pants, grazing the tip of my clit in the aftershocks of bliss.