32. Hellena

32

HELLENA

I t's still dark when I leave Gavin's house.

I made a decision as we lay there sleeping, wrapped in each other's arms. It made me realize that danger follows me. It's a part of my life, like a curse.

And everywhere I go, the people I love will always be in danger. Because Marco Vice will always follow me. He'll never stop looking for me now that he knows I'm alive.

His shadow stretches over me, haunting me.

Chasing me. I half expect him to pop up in my back seat as I drive through the morning mists, taking the coastal highway into town one last time. The surf crashes far below against the cliffs, just like my life, repeatedly dashed against the rocks. Dashed to pieces.

Yes. I'm having a fucking pity party.

The stops I have to make will be quick, necessary. I need my money. I need a few things from the house as long as Rachelle is asleep or out for her morning run. I can't bear to say goodbye to her.

I hope she'll understand.

I hope they all will.

Marco is relentless. He'll use every person I love as leverage against me. He'll hurt them just to punish me. He'll target Rachelle first. My friends from college. Anyone who ever had anything to do with me, torturing them to find me. Then Tell, Gavin, Evan.

I know they can take care of themselves. And woe to Marco if he goes after Gavin on his own turf.

But I think I can mitigate all of it if he takes the bait, if he wants me more than he wants what he found here in Sanctum. War is coming regardless, but I can at least buy them time to prepare for his inevitable return.

If the gangs don't wipe themselves out first.

The Block is strong. The Ghosts are formidable, from everything I've seen. Maybe they can come together, put up a resistance. Even the mayor, after meeting Marco in person, seemed unnerved and scared.

I'll save his ass too, if it means saving the ones I love.

All of this only works if I can get him to chase me, though.

So, after I gather my things, mementos, a stash I left in an empty classroom on campus, and empty my savings…

I leave Marco a message.

There's no way to know if he got it. I left it from a payphone to his home phone back in LA. Someone will deliver it, though.

By then, I'll be on the road.

Going north, away from the paper trail I leave out of town going east. A gas station. One final phone call to Aunt Rachelle's house from my cell phone before I ditched it for a burner.

Thank goodness she didn't answer.

I take the long way around town, up into the hills, then the mountains, the sun rising and bathing the city, burning away the morning fog and shimmering in the bay. I'll miss this place.

I'll miss having a home.

Staying in one place won't be an option. My life is now a full-on goose chase.

I don't stop at the overlook for one last look. To do so would shake me too hard, destroy my resolve. I've made up my mind.

I'm doing the right thing. Or the best thing I can think of.

Maybe it's just the easiest thing, to avoid facing my fate.

Two hours slip by, driving hard and fast up a winding road, following the paper map I bought from the gas station. It's beautiful and would be peaceful if my heart weren't in tiny little shards.

A tear rolls down my cheek, the first I've allowed all morning as I think of Gavin lying there, fast asleep. Let the relief we felt stay with him. Let him move on.

Let Tell keep smiling. My dreamboat, the insatiable flirt.

And let Evan let himself live a little. Let him be free for once.

Anger and grief coil around him in my heart. Yet, I know I can and will forgive him. I could forgive him anything because I know what we are. He was following his nature. I have to believe he didn't mean for all of that to happen that way.

It's the version of reality that will allow me to keep going.

The winding road twists up into the mountains, taking me into oblivion. I know they all have resources to track me. So, I took the least likely route out of town. I'll head to the border. Canada.

Keep moving. Farther and farther away.

The choking darkness rises, my chest aching. Tears that I've staved off for hours won't stay back any longer. I manage to spot a parking lot along a river, a turn off. Pulling over, I lose it, sobbing into my hands, lost and alone.

After a time, I wipe my face, stepping from the car for some fresh air.

The river roars through the canyon, back toward town. I wish it could take me back with it. I'm leaning over the railing, lost in thoughts when I hear footsteps behind me.

I whirl, caught off guard, to see a car parked around behind some trees. I didn't hear them pull up.

"Hellena?" Her voice doesn't register at first, out of place.

"R–Rachelle?" I choke out, running to her, right into her arms.

"Oh, sweetie, what are you doing out here?"

"I—what are you doing?" I correct, confused. Relieved.

"I came to find you, honey. We're all so worried about you."

"We? Who? How did you know where to find me?" It doesn't make sense for her to be here. Even if she left town an hour after me…

"Because I know you better than anyone. I know the way you think, and when Gavin told me you left… this seemed like the most likely spot to find you. I've been waiting here for you."

"Oh. Gavin. I ruined everything, Aunt Rachelle. Marco found me."

"That's horrible, Hellena."

"I know! You need to get out of town again. Go stay with your friend, just until you can be sure he won't go after you to get to me." I'm panicking, flailing my arms, sobbing.

"Shh. Calm down, Hellena. Come home with me. We'll work it all out."

"No! I can't put everyone in the line of fire, not after he…" I can't tell her he bought me. That I was auctioned off last night and technically belong to him according to the Sinful.

"Gavin will have a plan. Come on, let's go."

"Rachelle, you don't know everything. Gavin is wounded. He'll get himself killed trying to protect me."

Well, what about Evan?" she asks, concern on her face.

"He—" I stop, backing away. "H–how do you know about Evan?"

She swallows, only the sound of the river surging around us.

"Um. Because I've worked with him before. He's a favor dealer. He might be able to help you."

Bullshit.

"You've worked with him before?"

"Only occasionally. I had no idea you knew him…"

"You're lying."

"No, Hellena. Things are more complicated than you know. Please, just come with me and I'll explain everything."

"Explain it now."

Rachelle's lip twitches, her nostrils flaring. "There are things about your father, our family, that you need to know. We're members of a sort of group that's been around for a long time."

"You mean the Sinful."

"Yes. They are the power behind the leaders in Sanctum Harbor. And we, I mean your father, was one of them. Seven bloodlines."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that Damon was the head of the Sinful."

I stare at her, stupefied. I can't think straight.

The puzzle pieces are all out in front of me, but I'm missing something. "Damon, my real dad, was one of the Sinful? But he's been gone for years."

"He was running things from the shadows," Rachelle explains like I'm four. "He left Sanctum so no one would find out about him, or about you and your mother leaving. When he died, I swore to him that I would take you in if you ever made it back, to raise you. Train you."

"Train me?"

"You're next in line to take his seat, Hellena."

"That's absurd." Ringing deafens me as more questions bombard my brain. One thing stands out.

"If what you're saying is true, you've been lying to me. For eight years."

The fact doesn't hurt me as much as it should.

What really bothers me is the fact that her reactions all click into place in an odd way.

How calm she was with the Holy Ghosts when they held her at gunpoint.

She knew about Gavin, his real name, his past.

She clearly knows about Evan, who he is and what he does.

"Hellena—"

"I need a minute," I gasp.

"We need to get back. You're not wrong to be worried about Marco, but the safest place for you right now is with me."

"Just let me think!" I scream, my hands rising to my ears. The ringing overwhelms me. I feel her hand reaching up to touch me, and I slap it aside, backing away. "Don't!'

"Everything will be okay?—"

"How?" I shout, glaring at her. "How is everything going to be okay? You don't know what's gone on in the last few weeks. You don't know what I've been through."

A low hum of frustration slips out, her hands clenching at her sides. "I know exactly what's happened. I've read the reports."

"You read…" I barely process the sentence when I hear the concussion of the gunshot, echoing through the canyon walls. "What?—"

Rachelle's eyes go wide. Time grinds to a halt.

Crimson catches my eye, blossoming across her belly, her coat falling open.

Soaking into her dress, a dress I suddenly recognize. Glittering, liquid metal. Gold.

The Herald. The Matron of the Ball.

As that horror dawns on me, a numbness spreads through my side. I look down to the red spilling down my front.

The bullet went through me…

Numb confusion overtakes my mind as I slip to the ground, chills spreading through my limbs. The only things I can think of as I start to black out are three names, three aching holes in my heart.

"Gavin. Tell. Evan… Help ."