29. Hellena

29

HELLENA

" S ay that again. Slower."

Because my brain cannot process this information. My mouth is dry.

I'm exhausted from being awake too long. From running through the Block compound like our lives depended on it.

Because they did.

Fucking place seemed so quiet on the way in.

Then the sun set and it was like a damned vampire movie. Except instead of vampires, it was light-sensitive druggies.

Can things just resemble any kind of normal ever in my life?

Between Gavin and Alaya, we made a hasty getaway. Minimal losses on their side. Not that either of them hesitate to kill.

It's more of an encouragement on my part.

And maybe a bit of shock from seeing that Evan is one of them. That so many more of them are just unlucky citizens instead of ex-Holy Ghosts.

It definitely humanizes them. It makes me sick.

One crisis at a time, though.

And Sing just dropped an existential bomb of a crisis on me.

"Your mother is alive, Hell." Sing repeats each word carefully, watching my face closely. I should have noticed it earlier, his subtle show of emotions. His discomfort at our conversation before we left to get the rings.

"Cynthia Vice. Cynthia Michaels. Who Marco killed. Is alive." I take it step by step.

"He only thought he did."

"So he almost killed her?"

"He did."

"He did as in almost, or he did kill her?"

"I managed to revive her after he suffocated her."

I'm gonna puke. No. I'm going to throw something through a window.

Like Sing. Not that I could.

Maybe Gavin will for me.

"Explain. Now." Gavin leans over the table, as menacing as I've ever seen him. Atta boy.

"He sent me away that night. I barely made it back in time."

"Rewind. Start over. With the parts that will make me believe what you're saying. You were my mother's bodyguard?"

"Right. I told you that."

"And you set her up somewhere secretly?"

"Yes. I'm glad you put that together."

"Like a toddler with a glue stick fixing a shattered flowerpot."

"What?" he stutters.

"You're terrible at this. Start from the beginning ."

"Which one?"

"I ran away when I was seventeen. That is the last time I ever spoke to or saw my mother. I don't remember you at all growing up. Go."

"You wouldn't have seen me."

"Did you just make a ninja joke?"

Ora snorts next to me, covering her mouth.

"I've worked for Marco for about ten years now. I became Cynthia's bodyguard a year after you left."

Processing. Lag.

What am I even supposed to do with this information?

"Did she…?"

"Talk about you? Yes. Frequently."

"So you knew I was…?"

"Here? No. She was careful. Although I knew more than she meant for me to know."

"Where is she?"

"I don't know if I should tell you that."

"Why not?"

"It depends on what you intend to do with that knowledge."

"What, like I'd go after her? Get revenge for a shitty childhood?"

"Not exactly."

"Wait…" I watch his body language, what little there is. His eyes… he cares about her. A lot. "You want to protect her. From everything."

"I began to put that plan into place a long time before he took things too far. She didn't know, but I was almost ready to take her away from him. To make her disappear. I knew things were coming to a head, but he questioned her. He had been in contact with someone here, I believe. The surveillance footage showed him going into her room. He looked manic."

"So you were keeping an eye on her?" Tell steps in.

"Always. I rushed back. Marco was blitzed. Drank himself stupid right after."

"Celebration or remorse?" Alaya sniffs.

Sing shrugs. "Both? I got her breathing. Then I got her out."

I sag back into my seat, my hands drifting until Gav's firm grip finds mine. Then Tell's on my other side.

It barely bothers me that he's filthy.

"W–Why? Why would you do that for her?" All things considered, it's the only real question that I can think of at the moment.

"Cynthia was a kind woman. Too kind. Perhaps the only person to show me anything of the sort in my entire life." He's completely serious. Frank. Glib, even.

It reminds me of Evan in so many ways.

The tough exterior, used to protecting himself from constant brutality. Cautious of ever showing emotion or weakness.

Sing is just the polar opposite of Ev. Instead of dressing up his pain in arrogance and elevating himself, he just vanished behind a veneer of shadows and stoicism.

Even as I think it, though, I see the vulnerability in his eyes in admitting any of this.

"She treated me like I mattered," he offers, mistaking my silence for confusion.

As long as it's been, and as ‘over it' as I would like to think I am, the words sting just a bit. That little girl who lived through some fucked up shit wants me to throw a fit. It's not fair that she was nice to someone else when she was so cold to me.

So many times.

Logically, as an adult, I know she was trying to survive.

Trying to make me strong and keep me from drawing attention in the wrong ways. But where was the kindness for me?

"I'm glad you got to know that side of her, Sing," I finally say, inhaling to keep the tears from forming in my eyes. "I never did. But I suppose I should thank you for saving her life, all the same."

"No need."

"No need, but I want to. I also would like to see her. To ask her…"

So many things.

Gavin sits up straighter, eyeing me. "I'll come with you."

"Same." Tell's on his feet in the blink of an eye.

"No, no. I… I shouldn't even be doing this now. We have too much going on."

"Not so much that we can't spare you for a few days." Ora reaches for my hand across the conference table.

I smile as I squeeze her hand back in response. "Thanks."

"She's right. We need to go," Tell encourages me.

"Not we. Just me. And while I'm gone, I want you to move us into position for an offensive." I raise my eyes to Gavin's.

"Hell, I?—"

"You've been avoiding this for days, Gav. We need you. You're the best we have." My hand cups his cheek, aching for the pain I see in his face. "I need you."

"She's right," Sing chimes in. "I knew the minute we met who you were to her."

"I'm not that man anymore. I don't want to be the monster I was," Gavin mutters, low and angry. Hurt.

"You were never a monster, Gavvy," Alaya interjects, her face hard and serious for a change. "You followed orders."

"So I'm just supposed to follow them now?" he growls.

"No. We need you to give them, big guy." Ora pats him on the back.

"To protect our people. Their families," Tell adds, catching Gavin's gaze and holding it with his.

"Not to destroy. To preserve. To protect." I pull him into a soft, gentle kiss.

"You always knew just how to get me to do whatever you wanted." He chuckles into my lips.

"Not like that. If you really don't want this, you can say no."

"I won't turn my back on my home. And if we are going to have a chance of saving Sanctum, of saving Evan…" He nods, taking a deep breath.

"He's back!" Ora cheers, hopping to her feet. "What about your mom, Hell?"

"I mean, I don't even know where she is…" I lead, steepling the tips of my fingers on the table.

Sing sighs. "I will take you. I will go with her to make sure she is safe."

"Only because I knew who you were the minute we met, too." Gavin grins wickedly, craning his neck forward. "It's her life or yours, got it?"

"Naturally."

"Are you as turned on as I am right now?" Alaya whispers to the side, toward Sing, covering her mouth.

Sing turns a shade of crimson I didn't know possible.

As if on cue, Ora pops up, clapping her hands. "I don't know about all of you dick-lickers, but I am so fucking ready for bed. Regroup in the morning!"

"Deal."

Sometime before dawn, I feel Tell stir at my side.

Still drifting in the throes of half sleep, I reach for him, tucking into his chest, nuzzling into those perfect pecs. Hands smooth across my back, pulling me closer.

Nothing could be better than this.

Especially when I feel the furnace of Gavin scoot right up behind me, radiating against my back with delicious warmth. I'll never be cold again.

Just like that, the unsettling dreams that woke me fade, and I start to drift.

Until I squirm a little, finding just the right position.

And press back into the mountain of Gavin's erection.

Reaching down cautiously, I feel for Tell. He's just as hard.

And both men are still breathing deeply. Snoring ever so softly.

My senses come to life as I stay still, tensed between the two magnificent rods beneath the sheet that separates us. Well, Gavin. Half the time, he sleeps out of the covers.

Like I said. Heater.

Closing my eyes, I nestle my head back down.

But the damage is done.

I'm beyond aroused. My hips won't stay still, wiggling, aching to arch back into Gavin. Desperate to spread wide to take Tell right here and now.

I shouldn't wake them…

But maybe I don't have to.

The ridiculous thought has me suppressing a tiny giggle in the dark, slipping one finger into my mouth and biting down to keep quiet. Lifting the sheet behind me and untucking it from between Tell and my body, I slide the cool fabric lower, exposing my naked chest to the night air.

The chill instantly peaks my nipples, soothing the sudden flush of heat blossoming in my tummy.

In the dim of the early morning, I can make out both men's perfect forms.

Tell's lined stomach, rising and falling, tilted toward me, that crease between his pecs and abs ending in his gloriously long cock. With a breathless, silent moan, I clench my fist. Resist the urge to grip him. To taste him.

Letting my eyes trail the other way, I explore Gavin's prone form. The slabs of his chest, the fuller, thicker muscles of his abdomen ripped even as he sleeps.

Fucking outrageous.

And unbelievably hot.

That trail ends the same way, with his impossibly hard pillar rising above him.

Barely realizing what I've done, I gasp when my fingers graze down between my legs. Already, I'm clenching my ass, my thighs. And dripping wet.

The surf of my longing laps at my shore, surging higher, the waves escalating to a hint of pleasure. Deepening as I let my mind wander, let my fantasies run wild.

They're right there. I could touch them.

But now I'm committed to this torturous game, holding myself back, trying to keep from making a sound as I slip a finger inside, imagining Tell doing the same. Imagining how his cock would feel slipping between my lips, into my depths.

Of course I know exactly how that feels.

And I want it so fucking bad I can practically taste his sticky release on my tongue. Feel the boiling hot magma of his jism filling my core.

The smallest squeak slips through my lips as a pulse of excitement shivers up behind my belly button, coiling inside me like a spring ready to shoot off. It only gets worse, or better, when Gavin groans softly, turning toward me, his face an inch away from my ear and searing the cup of my lobe with his hot breath.

"Fuuuh—" I breathe, curling my fingers tighter inside myself. This is so silly. And making me so unbelievably horny.

I'm heading straight for a small peak, drawing my fingers out long enough to swirl around my apex and back in. My legs are full-on shaking now.

And still, neither of them stirs.

I'm seconds from a trembling release when Tell shifts, turning toward me, as well. Pinned on both sides. With two mouthwatering men rock hard against my thighs.

Without a second thought, I roll over toward Tell, taking his entire length into me in one fell swoop. The slick between my legs slides him in so smoothly.

I barely have a second to catch my breath, to adjust.

Gavin eases into the space where I just was, and he's ripe for the taking.

My fingers wrap around him, stroking him to the top, plunging down the base of him. Right as I fold at the waist, sucking him into my mouth with a hunger that I can't deny.

He's so fucking big.

And Tell fills me so perfectly.

I make it through three rolls of my hips, two deep, throat-stretching swallows, when they both come alive to my touch, taking the entire situation in stride. Or in stroke.

Gavin edges closer to us, his fingers lacing through my hair, caressing my face and neck.

Tell bucks gently under me, matching time to the gyration of my hips.

The motion sways the bed, rolling through all three of us like a sensual tide. Splashing up the beach, back down.

And I keep the pace steady.

Speeding up or going harder will make me spiral over the edge. And I'm building toward something so much bigger by controlling the rise of my climax.

They take the cue from my low, grunting moans, muffled by the swell of Gavin filling my mouth, driven by the thrumming beat of Tell pressing over and over against my inner wall.

I barely have to move, bent around him this way.

Both of my centers of bliss are engaged, the friction of our bodies pressing into my swollen bud, his stunningly hard cock claiming my inner summit repeatedly. Susurrations of rapturous vibrations curl my toes, winding through my calves, through the backs of my knees with a flush of heat, along the backs of my legs, pebbling my skin with gooseflesh. The silent rush makes its way up my back muscles, into my shoulder blades, forcing my chest down into Tell's stomach, tingling out into my fingertips, to the tips of my nipples, reverberating through my neck and crashing into my brain with a thunderous spray of stardust, showering back down through my body like meteors, steaking simmering heat along in their wake.

I'm flushed.

Trembling.

And my two lovers are solely fixated on me. Waiting for me to soar. Intent on holding the line, carrying me along toward that cliff where I'll take flight.

I'm so lost in the moment of pure bliss that I almost forget to breathe, tipping my head back to gasp for air right as Gavin cries his pleasure out to me, gushing forth in my fist, onto my tongue.

Right as Tell rocks back and forth harder, deeper, pulsing within me.

It's more than I can bear.

Halfway through the barrage of ecstasy barreling through my bones I find my voice, wailing my love for them as the final rise drops out beneath me, leaving me falling through open air.

Plummeting down the slide of sweet abandon.

Reveling in the sticky disaster of our lovemaking.

When the room stops spinning, I lick my fingers clean, tugging Gavin toward us as I stay perched on Tell's hips, his still-hard cock throbbing deep inside me.

"You're incredible, Lena," he slurs in his sex-drunk stupor.

"I know… your fault."

"Love," Tell mumbles, already drifting.

Love is right.

Pure. Love.

When I drop back into sleep, I'm wrapped in safe, muscular arms. Fulfilled. Satiated.

And ready for whatever this fucked up world wants to throw at us next.