13. Hellena

13

HELLENA

H ome sweet home.

Staring up at the ceiling of the master bedroom, I sigh, wishing I were anywhere but here. Not that it doesn't meet the standards of the posh life I've lived since ‘falling in line'.

But the place is so…

Historied.

Partly by the fact that one of the loves of my life grew up here.

Mostly because being back in Sanctum Harbor is so much harder than I thought it would be. Every fiber of my being is pushing back against the cold, hard exterior I've hammered into place.

Queen bitch just wants to run out the door, find Gavin, Evan, Tell, dive into their arms, and never let them go.

I can't afford that kind of weakness.

And apparently, I can't get a freaking moment alone.

"Hi. Yep. You're sitting in my room. Watching me sleep. Super not creepy."

"Needed to talk to you. Privately."

"Before coffee? This must be good news," I grumble, sitting up and letting the covers slip away.

The flimsy slip doesn't offer much in the way of coverage. And it absolutely makes Sing flick his eyes up toward the ceiling.

Ha. Finally found his true weakness.

Impropriety.

"We made noise."

"And?"

"We got an answer. Several. A few of our crews got attacked while helping dig out an old well for some families in the woods."

"The psychos?"

"Yep. They fought them off but had a tough time leading them away and not straight back here."

"Peachy. Have we found out anything about what the hell they're on?"

"New drug called Devo. Not much else."

"And the citizens? What's the response?"

"Most are holed up, full lockdown. Armed and guarded."

"So none of them wanted a helping hand."

"Oh, they seem to have already been getting one."

"The Block?"

Sing tilts his head. "Bringing me to my next point. They're on their way here."

"What?!" I kick off the covers, dashing for the closet. "Dammit, Singalong! Lead with that next time!"

Tearing through my clothes, I'm about to hike up my gown when he pops up, making a line for the door.

"Coward! They're just boobs! Tell Margaret to make tea!"

A few minutes and a wrestling match involving my hair and a straightener, two thousand bobby pins, and a can of hairspray, I'm sitting in my office, fidgeting with a pen.

Feels strange to say ‘my office'.

Especially when ‘my office' should be the room in Evan's space. When it should be the office in my dad's secret base.

None of this should have?—

Stop .

Shaking my head, I compose myself. Gotta get out of my head.

And thinking of my father's secret home…

Concocting a plan for how to go check it out has been a bust so far. I convinced Sing to take me to the old house in the woods so I could keep up pretenses that I was looking for clues in good faith with Marco.

Along with several other spots that worked to maintain appearances.

Rachelle's house, which survived the flood unscathed. Not that it didn't bring up a whole slew of mixed feelings.

I would have been pretty wrecked if it were gone. So many memories there.

Even if she did turn out to be a flag waving member of the Sinful in the worst way. I wonder how she's doing. Maybe I'll have Sing check on her in Severance.

Then I made a show of stripping Evan's clandestine event center in the canyon. The place where my life changed forever, first on stage with him, giving myself to him completely. Then later, when Rachelle made to sell me off to the highest bidder.

Plans within plans.

The only benefit to all of that is that I learned the method well. And I've got plans stacked on plans, stuffed inside other plans, disguised as different plans. Garnished with plan seasoning.

Am I in over my head?

Probably.

I hear the bikes roar onto the property below, circling up the drive. Peeking out the window, I count the crew, the veritable motorcade of Hummers and choppers.

Leave it to the Clives to stockpile a full-on military cache of weapons and gear.

Settling back in my chair, I forcibly remove my fingers from their vise grip on the arms.

School my features.

Breathe.

The doors to my office sit open, leaving me a clear view of the lounge couches in the vestibule. When the far door swings open, Sing steps in, pinning me with a stare.

He stays there for a moment, locking eyes with me.

As if to make sure I am ready.

To make sure I am okay.

Pressing my lips together in a grim line, I nod once.

Go figure, I'm caught off guard when Gavin, as broad, rugged, and ripped as ever, steps through that door. He glances at me once before scanning the room, checking for threats.

The only indication that he felt anything at all is a flare in his nostrils as he mutters the all clear over his shoulder. Taking his spot across from Sing, they frame the way for the rest of the entourage.

Ora.

Tell.

Alaya.

I'm stiff as a board. A damn mannequin, sitting there. Freaking. Out.

My friends. My best friends.

Two of my men, my lovers, my protectors, my partners.

Avoiding their eyes, I rise, gesturing Ora forward. Seems like she's taking the lead.

"Look at that, it's like they carbon copied a page out of Marco Vice's becoming a criminal underworld piece of shit and how to dress the part ."

"What catalog did you get that getup from? Wasteland Weekly ? Mad Max Magazine ?"

"Try ‘whatever-the-fuck-we-can-scavenge' in the clearance section of the dumpster."

"Suits you."

"Just like that?"

"You started the conversation with catty quips. I thought we were bantering."

"Somewhere in there, it got personal. Go figure."

"It's absolutely personal. Or rather, it's all about the persons of this town. Protecting their future."

"That's a hell of a justification for your flipping sides. Forgive me if I'm pleased to see it's keeping you up at night." Ora smirks, dragging her fingers under her eyes in a mockery of bags.

"We want the same thing."

"I think we do, but we just aren't willing to compromise everything we believe in and cut off the people we love to do it."

"So you're not willing to do whatever it takes. Noted." I shrug, taking a seat on one of the couches, waving for them to sit across from me. Only Ora does, Alaya taking one of the other chairs as far from me as she can, conveniently in the corner to see the whole room. Tactical. Expected.

She winks at me as she plops down, giving me an appraising once-over and nodding approvingly.

Of course she would appreciate my pretense of power.

Or just my being a bitch in general.

Gavin stays by the door, his arms loose at his sides. Ready to grab his gun and pop Sing in the face at the first sign of danger, more like.

And Tell…

Where the hell did he go?

I resist the urge to look behind me.

Pouring myself a cup of steaming tea, I stir in sugar, waiting until I've finished placing my cup in my lap before looking up again. To find Ora flat out seething.

Glaring at me like she'd set me on fire with her eyes if she could.

"I didn't believe it when they told me. I said, ;no way Hellena would ever turn her back on us.'" She eyes Sing with a mix of disdain and something else as he crosses to the other end of the room, putting himself in a place to see everyone else. "Nice sidepiece, by the way."

As his back is turned, Ora flicks her eyes back to me once, raising one eyebrow just a fraction.

It's a question.

And this bluster is for all of our sakes.

A cautionary measure to test whether I really am on Marco's side, being forced to behave this way.

Or to see if I have a plan.

Alaya's on her feet in a snap, circling Sing before he can take his place, getting way too close to him.

"Careful, get too close and he might bite," I warn, not bothering to look. This is all a show.

"Mmm. Threaten me with a good time. Wanna take me prisoner, too?" Alaya snickers, backing off. Her eyes never leave the man, though.

And Gavin's glare flashes, just for a second. Jealousy?

No. Probably just plain old pissed off.

Which is worse.

Stop feeling feelings, heart.

"Back to the matter at hand…"

"I was just thinking the same thing. Like maybe you need to catch hands to snap you out of this fuckery you've gotten yourself into." She leans forward with a grin.

"Ora. Leadership looks good on you. Petty doesn't."

"I would say the same thing, if you were actually in charge," Tell mumbles, and I nearly jump. He's standing in the corner, behind me to my left, almost invisible. How does he still do that?

"Oh, Tell. I see that you're still alive. Thanks to me."

"Enough. We reached out to see if this advance party of Marco's was a ploy on your part or the real deal. I think we have our answer," Gavin growls, stabbing Ora with a stare, never once looking at me.

Ouch.

"Who are you, Hellena?" Ora whispers, losing her bluster.

"I'm Hell. You said it yourself all those months ago in that jail cell. And I'm using every tool at my disposal to make the best of this situation. I want to keep the takeover from turning into a war."

"No. you're someone else. Someone I don't recognize." She rises, clenching her fists. "Someone I do not want to ally with. And this place is already at war."

"I'm using Marco's resources to help people, Ora. We should combine our efforts."

"Then help them. And help yourself. That seems to be the most important thing to you now." Her hand waves down, gesturing to my clothes, then the room and the house.

"You don't know what I've been through." I let it slip, the anger and bitterness cracking through my shell.

"Whatever it is gave you delusions of grandeur. You come in here like you're going to save us. Like you're a fucking benefactor, an agent of relief and refuge. Guess what? We're saving ourselves. The people of this town are strong. They are mad. And they will put up a fight. Against you. Against Marco. And we will win."

"I see. Sing. See them out, won't you?"

Alaya doesn't wait, trotting right out the door with a huff of indignant laughter directed at me and Sing at her back. Tell slinks out after, sullen, giving me a hurt look.

Fucking puppy-dog eyes.

As if I wasn't already feeling guilty enough. Gavin stays, waiting for Ora, who is still standing across from me, her lips curled in a disgusted snarl.

With Sing out of earshot, I lower my voice.

"Are they alright ?"

Ora drops her gaze, her shoulders slumping. "Yeah. Most of the town is safe."

"Too much to ask where?" I let my eyes drift to hers, the ache in my chest showing through.

"Way too much. All of this is beyond…"

"You're killing it, Ora. Xavier would be?—"

"Nope. You don't get to do that. Fake or not, I can't?—"

"Ora—"

"Do not expect things to be this nice next time. We meet in the field, it's as enemies. Watch your back." She spears me with an iron stare and a raised, pointing finger. "Let's go, Rorshak."

"No. This isn't the right way. I'm staying."

"What?!" We both spout off at once.

"Clearly, you're both right, and we need to work together in some capacity. Even if it's just keeping an eye on one another." He puts himself between us, nailing both of us with his matter of fact expression. "There's a common enemy. A more pressing problem."

"Oh, so now you're a politician, diplomat?" Ora scoffs, flipping him off. "Or just a horny man, trying to get his dick wet?"

"Ora. Trust me. This is for the best. As long as it's alright with Hellena?" He glances at me, back at the door, widening his eyes for a split second, giving me the signal that no one is listening. But Sing will be back soon.

"That's actually a great idea. Ora, please."

"We have enough to deal with fighting the Ghosts. We don't need to fight war on two sides." Gavin grips her shoulders, turning her away from me.

"One enemy at a time, huh?" Ora grumbles, shuffling out. "What do I tell your tasty bodyguard? Are you going to send someone with us as a liaison?"

We both barely hide a slight smirk at her irresistible comment.

"I'll do you one better. I'll send Sing with you. Enjoy."

The faintest hint of a snicker hits me like a stab through the heart. Made of hope. That we're not so far gone…

Right before I curse silently. Sing is not going to be happy about this. But he's the best I have to send.

He can handle himself. And I need him out from underfoot.

I'm down the stairs and out through the archway before I can second-guess my decision. Jay and Mannie have come around, as close to as on my side as I can get with Marco's guys.

"Sing. Gavin stays, you go with them. I need eyes on their camp. They need eyes in ours."

A tiny, almost imperceptible sigh is all the protest I get.

Weird.

Sidling up to him, I lower my voice to a whisper. "You're not pushing back?"

"You put me in a position where I can't without undermining you."

"That was the point."

"Then own it. And honestly, it's probably the smartest thing you've done thus far," he mutters, saying more words at once than I think he ever has. In his entire life.

Was that… a hint of a smile?

Before I can overthink it, I give him a firm nod, like I was just giving him orders, and leave without looking back. Halfway up the steps, I hear Tell's voice rise.

"You fucking kidding me? She?—"

The door slams on the Hum-V, blocking out the rest.

I wish I could go to him, explain.

Just trust me, Tell. Please.

Back inside the house, I give Jay the order that I want to be left alone for the rest of the day. It's absent. Offhanded. Just the sort of solemn frustration they would expect after seeing my old friends.

Gavin is still in my office, waiting for me. I close the door, watching him closely. Leaning against my desk, he looks like a menace.

Brooding.

Every inch the man who scared the shit out of me when we met months ago.

When he almost killed me for trespassing on his property. Because my aunt sent me to him. For protection from drug lords.

It doesn't even sound ridiculous anymore.

"Alone at last."

"I am. In a viper's nest."

"Best man for the job, for sure. We all have to play to our strengths."

"Or use your friends' strengths against them. You're playing dirty, Lena."

"Please, be careful who you say that around?—"

"Or what?" He lurches off the desk, crossing the room to me faster than someone his size should be able to.

"Or I will have to retaliate, put you in your place. I can't look weak." I straighten my spine, my heart pounding, my skin flushing under my clothes. Fuck, he's so hot.

"Never that." He's so damn close.

"Gods, I've missed you…" I crack.

And I'm in his powerful arms.