23. Hellena

23

HELLENA

T he ache in my heart is threatening to choke me, welling up from the depths of my aching heart.

It’s been growing since we left my father’s house. Loss piling on loss. Anxiety and fear building through our discoveries.

All the while, trying to stay confident. Brave.

But there’s still a wound that has nothing to do with the stitches along my side. It’s a wound I thought I was past, or working through.

Evan stares at me for a moment, an eternity, a horrified look on his face. Real shock. Real emotion.

And he damn well better. He owes me that much.

I hate every tear pouring down my cheeks as I scream at him. I hate every word and the pain that wells up like molten lava in my chest.

“If you truly love me, I need you to fuck me. Take this, all of this, away from me. Now.”

All of his cruelty. All of his disdain over the months we’ve been together. He owes me this. Even if he did save my life.

I stalk toward him, only halfway.

The words boil over, the anguish lashing out at him with every syllable. “Take m?—”

He closes the distance in a rush, impossibly fast.

And just like that, I’m tearing at his clothes, his fingers clawing down my back, pulling me into him, his lips plunging down to meet mine. Our first kiss is savage, painful.

With both hands, I tear his shirt off, buttons skittering across the polished tiles.

His pants button follows, popping in my mad rush to strip him down, to have what I so desperately need.

His chiseled chest, every inch of his tattooed, flawless skin, sends me into a frenzy, kissing, licking. But he pulls me back up, always, to kiss me again as he grips my arms, holding me tightly.

With forceful intent, he walks me back to the bed and drags one hand up into my hair, clutching a handful and jerking my head back. The fire in his eyes sears through me, making my legs shake.

“I need… I need…”

“I’m yours.” He utters the words low, dark, sending shivers through my entire body.

Then he’s tossing me back, flinging me to the bed with careless abandon, the roughness riling me even further. Crawling on top of me, he doesn’t hesitate to force me down, slamming me back when I try to rise.

There’s no exploration or teasing in his movements.

Just lust. Desire. Need.

His hands grip me, pin me.

His hips grind into me, making me pant and gasp at the size of him through the despicable layers of fabric between us. With a growl, I wrap my legs up around him, dragging him against me. “More. Now!”

And he’s tearing my thong off, stripping off his boxer briefs.

I almost whimper at the sight of him, standing over me, the stunning length of his gorgeous cock throbbing as he flexes, the promise of what he is about to do to me simmering in his gaze. It’s violent, passionate.

And I want all of it.

Surging up toward him, I wrap my arms around his neck, dragging him back to me, nipping and biting at his lips. He retaliates, sucking on mine, lashing my mouth with his tongue.

His hands match mine, gripping, clawing, dragging his nails down my back with torturous scraping bliss, all the way to my ass, slamming his palms down on each cheek, sending shockwaves into my toes.

Pulling away for a second, he glares at me, pins me with a stare. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“I think I've been perfectly clear with what I want,” I say, reaching down and gripping his dick hard, too hard.

I see the flare of pain in his eyes, his teeth bared. A growl escapes his lips as I jerk him once, then again. He flinches slightly, gasping in shock, never taking his eyes off mine.

“Then you'll get what you asked for.” The words hit me like a battering ram.

He tugs me in again to kiss me, savaging my lips with his teeth, his tongue licking right after to soothe the raw flesh.

But it’s not as rough as I want him to be.

As if he can read my thoughts, he spins me around, locking an arm across my chest, one hand gripping my throat to keep me pressed against him. His hips drive in from behind, pinning me between him and the bed as he thrusts one hand down, spreading me wide open, dragging down to feel the slick of my lust for him.

My hands scramble for him, trying to reach back to grip him, to force him to enter me and fill me. But he’s not having it. His grip tightens around my neck as he thrusts two, then three fingers into my opening, making me cry out wildly. All I can do is reach for his hand at my throat, gripping his arm and holding on as he spears his fingers into me, making my legs give out under me.

“Yes…Yes!” I toss my head back into him, heedless of whether I hit him or hurt him, or myself. Nothing else matters right now other than any part of him giving me everything. “Fuck me with your fingers, fuck me as hard as you want, Evan! Please!”

“I will, Hell. I promise. But you have to promise me something.”

“Anything, anything!”

“Promise me you won’t hold back.”

“I promise! Just fucking do it. Fill me up, Evan.”

Turning around, he slams me up against the wall, continuing the vicious grind of his fingers inside me, shifting his grip to pin me against the smooth, cool wall of his bedroom.

The heat of his breath dances along my neck, up along my earlobe. “I’ve waited so long for this. For you.”

“What are you waiting for now?” I challenge him, grinding my ass back against him aggressively.

His lips pull into a grin as I do so, and he slaps my ass, making me gasp, right before he spreads my ass cheeks and drives himself into my core with fierce intent, nearly knocking the air out of me.

“YES!” I moan. I scream as he thrusts deeply, smashing me against the wall.

Planting my hands, I push back, driving against him as he plows into me again. It’s still just a taste of what’s to come. He’s toying with me.

Shoving off the wall again, I spin, forcing him to pull out, and I’m thrilled as he lunges in, pinning me against the wall again. With a powerful flex of his arms, he lifts me up, spearing me again with his unbelievable length, nailing me in place with his hips, his hands hooked under my legs, his chest pinning me against the hard surface.

The first thrust makes me moan as he crushes me against his chest, my teeth latching down on his muscular shoulder. The second shakes the wall, making me cry out for more. The third thrust escalates into a rapid rhythm, harder and faster, thumping like a primal drumbeat through the entire building with every impact of our hips.

With each thrum of our joining, I feel the world slip away. My fears, my worries.

Every once of rage and anguish I’ve felt the last few months, terror, and helplessness funnel into our lovemaking. Each time he drives into me, it takes a little more away, siphoning off my worries, making me spiral away into ecstasy tinged with pain.

The perfect distraction.

Completely consuming.

My body aches for him, from him, my legs burning from holding onto him for so long, the injury in my side throbbing.

But I don’t care.

I use it.

I let it fuel my pleasure.

My desire blazes brighter and brighter, the heat roiling through my entire body. Soon, we’re both soaked in the sweat of our efforts, wrestling with each other as I shove him back, force him to the bed.

I ignore the red marks on his back, on my legs and ass from fingernails and open palms. It’s beautiful artwork, marks of pride left on each other.

Groaning with my unfulfilled desire, I crawl over him, pinning his wrists, rising up onto the balls of my feet as I take him into me again, settle his entire length deep within, feel my walls stretch to my limit to accommodate him all the way to the hit.

Then I start. Up and down, raising myself and dropping back down again and again with reckless abandon, slapping my ass down against his thighs over and over again. It’s powerful, on the verge of painful for me, for him too. But it’s everything.

Dropping down again, I keep him buried in me, grinding my hips around in a circle, savoring the pulsing throb of his head inside, the rhythm sending chills along my arms and legs.

Tossing my head back, I let my eyes droop closed as I drift for a second, letting my mind wander back to each time I’ve had him, each time he’s taken me.

And right there alongside every one of our passionate joinings is that anger.

It's something that's haunted me since the first time I saw him bulging in his pants in that studio as I bent over in front of him, touching myself, teasing him and demanding that he not look away as he came to the sight of me.

Since then, our passion has only grown, through our dance, through our avoiding the words, giving in to the physical passion of it.

And then that night dancing in front of an entire crowd, making love in front of an entire group of people like they weren't even there, like it was the most natural and amazing thing in the world.

I feel him lurch under me, pounding up into me as I float in those memories for another moment. Then I’m back and his hands are locked onto my hips, lifting us both off the bed with every thrust.

I realize I’m crying out each time, my screams echoing through the apartment.

Just the thought of anyone hearing us makes me lose it. I don’t care. I don’t fucking care if anyone hears.

Let them.

All of my thoughts are swept away as Evan rises up again, this time flipping me over as if I weigh nothing. Planting me on my back under him, he pushes my legs back, my knees to my shoulders as he presses against me, skewering me again, deeper than ever.

“Oh, fuck! Evan, do it. Make me come!” I beg, knowing this will be my undoing.

Unable to move, my legs folded over me, over his shoulders, he hits that sweetest spot every time he drives into me, so hard, faster and faster.

All I can do is grip behind my knees as my screams become one long, dawn out cry, my eyes rolling back into my head.

Evan jackhammers me again, over and over, never letting up, never tiring.

Every thrust is harder, more desperate.

“Yes, yes, yes!”

The pressure and speed are overwhelming me, making it hard to catch my breath, but I don’t dare move. I can't. I need him to keep going.

I need him to destroy me.

He’s everywhere inside me now, the only thing I can feel. He is my air, my water. I only know the beating pulse of our perfect union.

The rushing cascade barrels down my spine, the first traces of my unraveling starting as a wave, building and building and growing into a torrent of sensation, a roar of absolute devastation. I might black out.

“EVAN!” I scream to the heavens. I scream to him, the center of my universe. “Fuck me like you love me. Like I'm the only thing in the world.”

“You are my world,” he cries, his voice rising with mine.

And somehow, he increases his speed, pounds me harder.

I can’t do a damn thing other than lie there and shatter beneath him. Heat rushes out to my fingers, my toes, just before the onslaught of my ecstasy crashes into my brain, rippling through my body like an atomic bomb, lights exploding behind my eyes.

My scream tears through the room, harmonizing with Evan’s.

“YES!”

He erupts at the same time, surging another rush of delicious heat into my core. I feel him fill me, spill over. His rhythm never ceases throughout our unwinding.

Evan just keeps going, slowing gradually, but dragging out our joining.

I could stay like this forever.

The aftershocks send my legs quaking again and again as he grinds to a halt, gasping and eventually dropping down on top of me, the two of us a disastrous heap.