18. Gavin

18

GAVIN

E lectric tension charges everything in the room.

Damon’s journal. I know it before Hellena even opens the front cover, revealing an all too familiar handwriting.

Hellena leafs through it and my eyes track over her shoulder.

“Guys. Not getting my hopes up, but… I think this is it. Everything we’ve been looking for. Names. Places.”

“Finally!” Tell sighs, holding the door open for everyone to head back out into the lighter living space.

“And check it out, flash drives.” Hellena holds up the back cover, lined with small pockets filled with memory sticks.

“Let’s hope they have some good news for us, or anything still relevant. Remember, that journal is several years old.” Evan grimaces, crossing his arms and leaning against the table.

Hellena matches his scowl as she sits on the edge of the couch arm, her eyes darting across pages.

“Don’t be such a sourpuss, Ev,” Tell snips.

“Just stating facts.”

“Then state them more cheerfully! You’re supposed to be the performer here, right?”

“And you’re supposed to be the expert info gatherer, so where’s our info?”

“Low blow!”

“Neither of you is getting blown if you don’t cut it out!” Hellena teases, earning an exasperated look from each of them.

“I didn’t say shit,” I mutter, pursing my lips.

“Noted.” Hellena winks at me, heating my blood instantly. Fuck. How does she do that to me?

Tell and Evan look just as wound up at the flirting, charging the energy in the room even more.

Unfortunately, none of us are getting her attention right now.

She’s locked onto the journal, reading page after page.

“At least early on, it seems like he was speculating. The entries are scattered, some just notes to me, thoughts and memories. Then there’s these entire… chapters. More formulated, outlined with tallies and numbers. I think some of it might be in code… ” Hellena mumbles in frustration, mostly to herself.

I’m crumpling up the red velvet cloth Hellena passed me when I feel something inside the fabric. A seam long the side splits, dropping a long, odd-looking key into my hand.

“Um. Any notes in there about what this goes to?” I hold it up for everyone to see.

“Looks like an old skeleton key.” Evan crosses over to me to take a look. “Hopefully, there’s some indication in the book for what it goes to.”

“There’s always another mysterious secret in Sanctum, huh?” Hellena smirks, tucking the book under her arm. “Let’s go. This place is…”

“Yeah,” I concur, feeling the emptiness in the house, the loss. “Too many memories here. We can regroup and dig into this back at the safe house.”

“Right before we uproot everything and move to another safe house,” Evan grumbles, giving Hellena a pointed look. “I don’t have endless secret hideouts.”

“Hey, it’s not really my fault, you know?”

“I would love to hear why you think that’s the case, but…” Evan starts trailing off as he saunters out the door, leaving Hellena looking ready for a fight and flushed.

They really know how to get each other into a tizzy.

After combing Damon's old house one final time for clues, we all pile back into my truck and head back toward the safe house. The drive is thoughtful, a little amped up with what we might find in the journal, what Damon might have left Hellena to find.

Me, I feel drawn out. Stretched thin.

Too much history and painful memories have surfaced in the last few days. Just the thought that Alaya is probably alive…

And that I may have to face her again. I have no clue what that will mean.

Not that I still have feelings for her. Not exactly.

I’m fully in love with Hell. Hopelessly.

In the best way I never thought possible.

Still, the idea that Alaya was just here haunts me, as much as the shadow of her memory does. It’s the worst sort of deja vu.

Hellena sits next to me on the drive back, her hand resting on top of mine. I should say something, open up. I should tell all of them about who she was, who she is. Not that I can presume to know her anymore.

Ghosts and secrets, my entire past dredged up.

And Hellena is taking it in stride like she always does. I’ll tell her when we get back. I have to.

Especially if Alaya is here for revenge. The problem is, we just don’t know what she’s after. Alaya’s spontaneity was always one of my favorite things about her, but now it’s cause for concern. She was always impulsive, erratic.

She may be here just to take me out.

That I can handle. I can’t handle it if she goes after Hellena again. I won’t stand for it.

If it comes down to it, I’ll make sure Alaya goes back to the way I thought she was before.

For certain this time. Dead.

“Find anything yet?” Tell leans between the front seats.

“I might if you’d quit interrupting me every two minutes,” Hellena snaps back, a teasing tone in her voice. I realize they’ve been talking, chatting quietly the entire time, but I’ve been off in my own world.

“We’re almost there, then we can see what’s on these flash drives.” Evan mutters absently, staring out the window. He’s quiet, not out of the ordinary, per se. But the four of us haven’t spent much time together. It’s new, uncharted territory.

I share his apprehension.

The guy doesn’t open up easily. But he’s here for the same reason as Tell, as me. Hellena.

Even so, no rules have been established. No norms. None of us knows the dynamic of how we each fit in. Not yet, anyway.

I’m still struggling with my own frustrating mental battle when we arrive back at the safe house, hurrying inside and rekeying the door for posterity’s sake. Never hurts to err on the side of caution.

The four of us gather around the table, Evan spreading out several files he brought with him from the office, Tell setting up his laptop to look over the flash drives, and me fidgeting like a jackass because I don’t have anything to do. I should have at least brought my gun cleaning kit.

“Look at this! Ledgers. Accounts opened and closed. It looks like an outline of how he found each of the other Sinful over the years based on their movements and following the money. Genius!” Tell mumbles almost to himself, clicking along. “Gah, there’s decades of records here. It’s going to take a while to whittle this down.”

“I’ll start breakfast…” I mumble, getting to work on making food. My hands are twitching, needing something to keep them occupied. “Anybody else want a beer?”

“Gavin. It’s ten a.m.” Hellena raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, well, A lot of shit’s already gone down today, so I'm having a beer.” I look around the table for takers.

Tell and Evan both raise their hands.

Followed by a more reluctant Hellena. “Why the hell not?”

The three of them sift through the journal, the files, the drives, while I throw together a huge pan of pepper and cheese scramble and French toast. Easy enough to make in bulk for a group.

And what a group we’ve become.

Almost in an immediate retort to my feelings of awkwardness in the car, the sense of camaraderie around the table loosens up something inside me, a door I closed a long time ago. The feeling of family, of being part of a team.

It’s overwhelming. Uncomfortable.

And great at the same time.

Going from being a hermit alone in the woods to having a roommate whom I quickly fell in love with, to having two more members of our crew who also happen to be in love with the same woman…

Bizarre.

It shouldn’t work. A younger version of myself wouldn’t have let it work, wouldn’t have been willing to share.

But now?

I just want to make Helena happy.

It's the most selfless I've ever felt for sure.

And each of them means the world to her. So they mean the world to me. Each of us brings something unique to the table, to our relationship with her.

“The more I dig, the more ridiculous this all feels.” Hellena leans back, taking a break as I set out our plates.

“What do you mean? The fact that we all worked for a clandestine organization for the last several years and took orders anonymously from phone calls?” Tell smirks.

She laughs. “Tip of the iceberg.”

“Be that as it may, there's always been trust behind that.” Evan folds his hands. “There was always a clear give and take. I mean, at least for my part. I was pulled out of a pretty rough situation. I was given responsibilities, purpose. A mission.”

“Same here.” Tell looks serious for a change, nodding in agreement. “My life was a disaster before Spite got in touch with me, put my skills to use. I could have ended up a shut-in like my family thought I was, for real.”

“I never could stomach the idea of working for them.” I let it slip without thinking.

Tell snorts. “Wait, they approached you, too?”

“Of course they did. A few times.”

“And you just…”

“I was a mercenary for fifteen years, doing jobs for cash drops and shady shit all over the world. So I won’t criticize you guys for doing it, but I didn’t want to do it again.”

“So instead, you became a body disposal guy for a war between a biker gang and a drug cartel,” Evan drawls, a slight curl to his lips.

“Yep. Like I said, no room to talk. Had to make a living somehow. I think I wanted to believe I was flying under the radar by playing both ends against the middle.”

Hellena watches me, her eyes soft, full of tenderness. Not an ounce of judgment. It’s enough to make me want to scoop her up right there, kiss her, and hold her.

I’m a fucking sap.

“Turns out, I was working toward the cause all along, and even more so when Rachelle sent Hellena to me for protection.”

“You think that was all part of the plan?” Hellena ponders, digging into her meal.

“We won’t know until she wakes up.”

A brief moment passes in silence as we eat, enjoying the peace after a heart-pounding morning.

“Well, if we had any question before, this certainly confirms that the Sinful are a bunch of drama queens.” Tell flips his computer screen around, showing us a diagram, a seven-pointed star with a name at each point.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” I almost snort my beer.

Helena pulls the computer toward her, zooming in to read. “Yep. Hubris , a.k.a. Pride. Ire , a.k.a. Wrath. Spite , a.k.a. Envy. Avarice , a.k.a. Greed. Voracity , a.k.a. Gluttony. Ardor , a.k.a. Lust. Inertia , a.k.a. Sloth.”

“At least they went all in, right?” Tell laughs. “The Seven Deadly Sins running a town. Who’d have thought?”

“I don’t know, I like it. You have to remember when this organization was established, it was almost 300 years ago. This stuff was a lot more a part of everyday life. Fascinating. Terrifying, even. Ancient texts and lore were taken a lot more seriously. They have apocalyptic references all through their old files.”

“What, like they were creating a town as a safeguard against the end of the world?’

“They thought they were preserving humanity. Their people, anyway. Regardless, this town was built here for a very specific reason. I just haven’t figured out what it is yet.”

Cracking open another beer, I let my thoughts wander, musing at the possibilities. “I mean, the land’s premium. It's hidden. It's a perfect place to hole up. It's almost impossible to invade.”

“Apparently, not for Marco and his men,” Hell snips.

“Someone clearly let them in.” Evan flicks a gaze at Tell.

“Don’t put my dad’s idiot choices on me,” he argues, putting his hands up.

“If we needed to lock down the town, it wouldn’t take much, though. Only a few ways in or out. Might play in our favor if we can get some people on our side.” I realize what I’m saying as the words leave my mouth.

A fight. That’s what this is, whether we like it or not.

We just haven’t faced the facts of it yet.

“Let’s leave that daunting little fact for another day, huh? What else do we have, aside from a list of codenames and money trails?” Hell sighs, running her fingers through her hair. It’s distracting. The scent, the curling locks draping down her back.

“They have to have some hierarchy or roles in the town. Some sort of coordination.”

“Tell and I were just talking about that the other day. What each of the members oversaw. Not to mention, the choice of wording. They didn’t call themselves the traditional titles or the sins. I think that serves a purpose.”

“And the fact that Rachelle made it sound like my dad was like, more important than the rest of the group, or the final word on decisions. Sounds more or less like the head of the board. Traditionally, the “greatest sin” was always Hubris, Pride. Thank Marco for making us go to mass once a year for that tidbit.”

My hand slides over her shoulder, offering what comfort I can.

“So, was that him? Hubris?” Evan looks intense, with good reason. The implications of Damon calling the shots for Evan make my stomach turn. Like he was setting all of this up somehow.

“No, I don’t think so. I’m still reading, but I spotted a few references in his journal to Inertia. He mentions it as Acedia, and later on, he even calls it out as his failing, succumbing to “Sloth.” Something about letting his complacence get the better of him.”

“Looking it up online, the traditional order is pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. Final sin. Final say?” Tell offers.

“Sounds as plausible as anything else. Either way, that role was supposed to fall to me…”

“Not as far-fetched as you make it sound, Hell,” I assert, shrugging.

“So, assuming their sins correlated to their duties…” She deflects, squeezing my hand, “Avarice is greed, the desire for wealth. Could be in charge of banks, or raw materials, shipping?”

“I like it. Fits with what we know about the founding families a little more closely too. Who ran exports, mining, local government, law enforcement? I’ll start a list of potential roles and which title might have assumed which duties.”

“Along that train of thought…” Evan crosses his arms, looking at me. “Voracity. Gluttony. Sounds a lot like addiction. Drugs. Medicine. Sound like anyone we know?”

My connection and work for the Ghosts isn’t exactly a point of pride. I cleaned up bodies. Gun fights. Turf wars.

And I tried my best not to look behind the scenes, to know who I was really taking money from. But I knew. Everyone knew.

Oliver Devonde owned the Holy Ghosts. Ran all of the drugs in and out of Sanctum.

“You really think he’s so openly active as a power player in town and working with the Sinful? Devonde always struck me as selfish. Solo.”

“Which gives him plenty of reason to want to knock off the rest of the Sinful.”

“Only one way to find out.”

“Two ways. I need to finish reading this cover to cover. Twice. Wouldn’t hurt to have you look it over too, Evan. But Gavin is right. Tell, I need you to pay Devonde a visit. See what he’s up to.”

“Yes, Ma’am!” Tell salutes.

Just like that, she takes charge. She doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. “We need to move quickly. Not only to build our defense, but to root out whichever one of the Sinful is trying to kill off the others, and potentially trying to kill me, if there even are any of them left running the show. We can’t be looking over our shoulders when the time comes to take on Vice.”

“Still, it would be a good idea to pool everyone we can together as soon as we can, anyone who could fight back, or help us stand up to Marco, to the Ghosts, too.” I can’t help veering into a tactical way of thinking.

“I think I know where to start there.” Hellena smiles.

“One of us needs to go pay the Block a visit. Might serve us better to call Ora, to see if she can get us a meeting with Clive Senior.” Evan nods.

“I’ll give her a call later. Evan, do what you can with the paper trails we have. See if anything stands out from your research and find out who we are up against.”

Evan tilts his head, giving over to her orders with way more grace than I expected from him. He knows when not to bicker with her, I guess.

“And I guess I'll just watch everybody's back. Big guns.” I smile grimly, crossing my arms.

“Hey, you're a big musclehead for a reason, right?” Tell snickers.

“You’re so much more than that, Gav.” Hell stands, pulling me closer.

“Oh, I don't mind being the muscle. Nope.”

“Yeah, but you're also the best tactician we have. You have so much more experience than the rest of us. I need you making those calls.”

“I don’t know if I’m the best choice.” My years away have made me hesitant, resistant to act.

But it’s not as if I could deny her anything.

“Put your best foot forward? For me?” She smiles, instantly heating my blood. Those lips…

“You make it sound like a dance, Hella!” Tell stands, swooping in behind her, his arms circling her waist.

“Hmm… We haven't danced in a while.” Evan smirks, joining us and tipping Hellena’s head back to look her in the eye, leaning in for a kiss.

“Dancing will have to wait!” Hell nips at his lips before pulling away, cupping my cheek as she does. The interplay is fluid, sexy, and natural.

All three of us around her, with her.

Slowly, her smile fades as she looks at each one of us in turn.

“I’m not sure what I’m doing, but I know I have to do something . My father left me this information for a reason.”

“You don’t have to do anything, Hell. It’s not all on you.”

“It’s on all of us.”

“So you understand that I need to try. This is our home. I won’t let anyone take it from us. Not when the people I love are here.”

“We’ll all be here no matter what, Lena,” I growl, pressing closer.

“Damn right.”

“Thank you, all of you. I don’t mean to give you orders or tell you what to do?—”

“Bullshit. You got this, Hella.” Tell grins. “We got your back.”

“Okay. If that’s true, then I have one major ask.”

“Anything,” Evan mutters.

“I need to get out of this stupid fucking safe house. I need to get back to Sanctum Harbor. I need to be in the thick of it.”

The words immediately raise all three of our hackles, but I bite my lip and I see Tell and Evan fight down the urge to protect her, to keep her out of harm’s way. None of us have the right to stand up for our town and ask her not to do the same.

And not a damn one of us can stop her if she decides to do something.

“Clearly, you're going to do whatever you want to do, anyway. So, if we're going to do this, we’ve got to do it right. We're going to need a base of operations.”

“Ah, but I think my father might have provided yet again.” Hellena slips the journal open again, pointing to a page with an address hidden in the margin. “He mentions the key on this page, too.”

“That street name… there’s an old gate at the dead end past some of my family’s land. An abandoned neighborhood they never finished on the edge of town. I used to hike back by the wall as a kid until my dad’s bodyguard caught me trying to climb over it. Said the whole place was infested or quarantined or something.”

“What do you want to bet that ‘infestation’ was a gimmick to keep unwanted visitors out?”

“Only one way to find out!” Hellena beams.

“So I guess we're going back to Sanctum Harbor. Question is, when?” I ask, looking around the table.

“The sooner, the better. I don’t like the idea of staying here much longer,” Evan reiterates.

“It’s settled, then? Tomorrow, we head back and start taking back our town. For Rachelle. For Ora. For all of those people who live there who have no idea about any of this.”

Cleaning up dinner takes my mind off things for a bit as Tell and Evan head out to wrap up loose ends in Severance and prepare for us to leave. We’ll pack what little we have up in the morning and see what Damon’s secret address has for us.

The thought makes me uneasy. Almost as uneasy as thoughts about Alaya.

Hellena eases the door shut, returning from a short walk just as I finish the dishes.

“Feel better?’

“So much better. Having a purpose is… crucial.’ Hellena widens her eyes at me, her nervousness showing, but also her excitement.

“Gavin—”

“Lena—”

We both start and stop abruptly.

“You first.” She slips onto the couch, beckoning me to join her. Her body is soft, warm. I could forget everything and just take her, right here, right now.

But I know better.

“The shooter. The woman who left you the note, told you about your dad’s place. Did she tell you her name?”

“Yes.” Hellena is looking right at me. Waiting.

“What else did she tell you?”

“I won’t give her the satisfaction of relaying her message. But I… I know who she is, Gav.”

“Lena, I’m so?—”

“No. Don’t be.” She looks down, chewing on her lip. “I didn't want to bring it up until we were alone, and I was kind of hoping that we could talk about it. If you want to.”

“I do. But I have to say it, Hellena. Going there, seeing her, was unbelievably dangerous. She’s…”

“A killer?”

“Not just that.”

“I know. She’s a little off her rocker.”

“More than just a little, I’m afraid.”

“But dangerous or not, I handled the situation. Besides, you suspected that she might have been around and that she might have been the one who shot me all this time, and you didn't say anything.”

She’s dead on.

I should have voiced my fears so much sooner.

“I fucked up. I just didn't think there was any way that it could be her. She was bleeding out, Hellena. A bomb went off right next to our room. We got separated. I couldn't feel a pulse. Your dad pulled me away.”

Tears well up in Hellena’s eyes as she turns toward me, poised, tense. She’s waiting for a sign from me.

A sign that it’s okay to touch me.

To comfort me.

I don’t deserve this woman.

“I lost everything. I ran away and came here. So, I just couldn’t believe that it was her. I didn’t want to.” And just like that, the dam breaks. I feel a tear slip down my cheek, and Hellena is there, kissing it off my face, pressing her forehead against mine.

Our lips meet, and for a time, there’s only us and our bodies held close.

After a time, we pull back, staring into one another’s eyes.

“You know, this means you’re still married.” Hellena’s eyes glitter as she says it. She’s fucking with me.

“Seeing as both of us have had obituaries posted in a paper or two, I think it’s null and void.”

“I don’t know. She still carries a flame for you, Gav… But I don’t think she wants to harm us. Not yet, anyway.”

“I don’t really give a damn. If she tries to come near you again, I’ll take that flame and set her on fire.”