9. Hellena

9

HELLENA

T ell works his way up my arm, kissing, dragging his bottom lip over my pebbling skin. He’s been at it for several minutes, the two of us lying on my bed after a much-needed nap.

“You drive me nuts.”

“Me? You're the one who keeps holding out.”

“Excuse me, we've been interrupted. Every time we've tried to?—"

“Oh, you don't have to tell me.” I moan into his ear, making him shiver.

He laughs, wrapping his long, muscular arms around me, pulling me close as he steals a kiss before I can say anything else.

“Well, what's keeping us from doing it now?” He widens his eyes meaningfully, slipping one hand down over my silky soft boy shorts. His hands are so big, strong. Long fingers grip my ass.

“Maybe I want to make you work for it?” I whisper. “Or maybe…”

His eyes narrow. “Maybe what?”

“Maybe I'm torturing you for information.” I flip him onto his back, easing one leg over to straddle him and lock him under me.

“Well see, that'll never work because as it so happens, I'm an expert at resisting torture.”

“Is that so?” I drag one fingernail down his bare chest, circling one nipple before giving it a little squeeze.

“Hey!”

He reaches for mine, poking through the fabric of my tank top, and I swat his hand away.

I grind my hips once, twice, feeling his rock hard shaft straining against the elastic of his boxer briefs.

“I think I want to test your claims. If you answer my questions, I’ll reward you.”

“And if I don’t?” He glares at me.

“Then you’ll have to watch me take care of myself and you won’t be allowed to touch.”

“That’s… still a pretty good deal.”

“Not when you see what I do to myself. Not when you see what you could be doing instead…”

“Well, then, I guess I’ll tell you anything you want to know!” He laughs, leaning up to try and kiss me again.

“Ah, but here’s the trick… if you tell a lie, I’ll know. And a piece of clothing goes back on.”

“Easy.”

“First, tell me your middle name.”

“Tyler Adam Vand.”

“I’ll let the last name slide, only because you hate your family name,” I tease, rubbing my hands up his firm, well-defined pecs. I let my pinky fingers bump over his nipples, peaking them with a touch.

“Oh, how magnanimous of you.”

“Next, tell me about the night we met. Were you really there checking on someone’s kid? Was our meeting really…”

“Total chance encounter. You took me by surprise.”

“Good.” I buck my hips a little, dragging the crease of my sex across his length, making him squirm.

“Finally, tell me…” I falter, something shifting in my chest.

Tell sees it immediately, rising up to wrap an arm around me, his other hand cupping my cheek. “Hellena, what is it?”

“Tell me about you … tell me something real.” the tiniest sliver of fear wriggles loose inside me, clawing at my heart.

Where is this coming from?

Pain flashes through Tell’s eyes, a shadow passing behind his gaze.

“I love you. That’s real. That’s the truth.”

“I just—” I nearly choke, my chest aching for him, to hear him say the words…

His lips meet mine, deeply, passionately, stealing my worry, fighting back the doubts. I pull away, just enough to look at him.

“Ever since the night of the Ball, when everything came crashing down, I’ve had these dreams. And with everything Evan did, and then finding out that you were hiding secrets, so many secrets from me, it makes it hard to tell what’s true, sometimes. To know if we are real.”

Tell sighs, pulling me closer. “Hellena… you are the most real thing in my life.”

“I need to know who you are. Who we are together.”

Tell’s eyes falter, looking down.

“Hey, up here,” I tease, trying to keep myself from crying. Crossing my arms over my chest, I lean away from him, making him see me.

“I wasn’t—” he starts, realizing I’m messing with him. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything. Say something I can trust.”

Because it just hit me hard how vulnerable I really feel.

I’ve been wounded, not just physically, by everything I’ve gone through. And I haven’t had time to process, to work through any of it.

I’m not sure I know how.

“I know what it’s like to have your foundations shaken. To pretend everything's fine,” he starts, resting his hands on my hips.

“Everything is fine with Gavin. But Evan, and you… we barely know one another.”

“I’ve told you more than I’ve ever told anyone else. But I know that’s not enough.” His eyes flick to the side, thinking. “You want to know something real? The realest thing I can think of is that nothing in my life has been the same since I met you. I have never known peace before. I have always just gotten by. Since we met, there has been more danger, more chaos… but I've been more at ease than I could ever imagine.”

I wait, watching him sift through the wave of emotions passing between us.

“See, I've always been a little neurotic. I told you I have tics and compulsions. The character that I play at home with my dad, the one you saw at the Ball? That's not who I am anymore. It used to be, though. Growing up, I was a walking mental health crisis. My parents didn't really know what to do with me.

“They stuck me with a shrink. They stuck me in a home for a little while. Finally, when I was a teenager, they sent me away to boarding school, which didn't stick, either. I ran away.”

It makes me think of Evan, the few things he’s revealed about his own past.

They are so similar, yet so unique in the ways they’ve overcome their trials.

My chest feels like it might burst, listening to him open up to me, hoping against hope that it’s real.

“I shut myself away from everyone until I could figure myself out, and that's when I started playing other characters. Other personas who weren't me. Who weren't damaged.”

“We’re all a little damaged, Tell. That doesn’t mean you are bad or broken.”

“No, but it felt that way. The person I was wasn’t someone many people could accept, so I couldn't accept him. Funny thing is, I wasn’t even a real person. Not until I finally stopped shutting it all out and faced it.

“It’s still hard. The tics are borderline uncontrollable sometimes.”

“Like what?”

“A lot of it is stereotypical OCD stuff. Flipping light switches, wanting to lock a door nine times. Meds worked for a little while, but they always made me numb, turned me into a zombie. So I funneled that itching energy into other things.”

Watching him intently, listening to him open up, echoes so many of my own insecurities surrounded me. With a smooth movement, I slip my shirt off, exposing myself above him.

Even if it’s just my naked body, I want him to feel that I am completely open to him, too. For me, it was always about my figure, my size.

Just like that, I see him soften, his gaze meeting mine, understanding.

“When I’m with you, Hellena, the buzzing noise in my head goes quiet. I can focus.”

“I feel it too, you know. The calm. The happy.”

“It’s amazing…” His eyes drift down to my nipples, hardening at the sight of him drinking me in. “You’re amazing. And I’m not saying that you’re some magic cure-all. You just… help me find the center, ground me. That’s where I know who I am, what’s real.”

“Then stay with me.” I lean over him, taking his lips, tasting his kiss and savoring the electric shock it sends down my spine.

“I’ll never take you for granted again. I promise. No lies.”

“Not that we’ve gotten much of a chance to explore this.” I run my fingers along his cheek, his eyebrows, down the tip of his nose. “You're a beautiful creature, Tell.”

“Says the goddess lying on top of me.”

Tell rolls me over, laying me down, pushing a strand of hair out of my face.

“You mentioned ‘punishment’ before.”

“Yeah.”

“How would you punish yourself?”

“I mean, sometimes, it was just scouring my skin to wash off the feeling of the world. I don’t know. Sometimes, it translated into... other tastes.”

“Like sexual tastes?” I raise an eyebrow, running my nails sharply down his side, making him gasp.

“Yeah. Maybe…”

“Hmm. Like this?” I circle my finger around one of his nipples, pinching hard.

Tell’s eyes bug out for a second. “Yes.”

His voice is tight, clipped.

With a little laugh, I lean down, swirling my tongue around it, biting down suddenly, hard, then licking in the wake of the shocking pain.

“Fuck… more like that !”

His eyes darken, his voice going husky as he shoves me down onto the bed, pinning my wrists above my head in one swift movement.

My chest heaves with my sudden quickening breath, my pulse skyrocketing.

He eases down, keeping his eyes locked on mine as he mimics what I did, licking, swirling, then biting down, unexpectedly, just hard enough to make me cry out softly.

Pulling back, he stares at me, a question in his eyes.

“More,” is all I can whisper, arching my back and pressing my breasts up toward him. He does it again, taking my other nipple, ravaging me with a sharp bite, sending shockwaves down my legs.

“Mmm, what else?”

With a wicked grin, he lifts one of my thighs up along his side, bending it back until he can see my ass. Lighting fast, he lashes out with one hand, leaving a bright red mark on my ass cheek, the shining glow rippling through me.

“Yes… YES.” I lunge for him, trying to kiss him, to bite his lip. But he’s too strong, keeping me pinned at the wrists.

With a little growl of frustration, I twist in his arms, flipping over onto my stomach, shoving my hips up, wiggling my ass in the air. Suddenly, he’s up, off the bed, gone.

Before I can ask, he circles around, looping a silk tie around one wrist, lashing it to the bed frame, then the other side.

“Where did you…?

“Evan’s safehouse, remember?”

“He’s going to kill you for wrinkling his ties.” But it comes out as a laugh, a humming moan.

Without warning, Tell slaps my ass again, making me flex, clenching up and shivering through my core as I writhe on my knees.

Closing my eyes, it makes it more intense, never knowing when he’ll strike, never knowing where he is. Another. Another.

My aching middle is trembling, feeling the slick of my arousal soaking into my panties with every squirm. I’m about to start begging, desperate for him to touch me, when he tears my ruined underwear down, immediately replacing the fabric with his tongue along the folds of my aching sex.

“Oh, Tell!” I scream, nearly collapsing in ecstasy.

His tongue is fire on my skin, exploring my lips from behind, circling my apex and teasing my entrance with his fingers.

Tucking my knees in tighter, I spread myself for him, arching my back, pressing my chest into the mattress to give him better access to the place where I need him most. He laughs, that deeper, huskier laugh that makes my legs quiver, right before he slides one finger into me, bracing his thumb higher up, pressing against my star, making me tighten nervously.

But it’s the sweetest form of torture and anticipation.

His finger curls down, dragging against that sweetest bundle of nerves, already so sensitive and heightened from play. Too much more, and I’ll come undone.

“Tell, I want you…” I can barely form the words, “Inside me…”

“I am inside you, Hella,” he sings, dropping down to flick his tongue across my swollen clit, still massaging his knuckle just inside me, driving pulsing waves of pleasure up my spine with every beat.

Just when I think I might let go, when I can’t take any more, he slaps my ass, hard, pulling away and leaving me forlorn on the bed.

And so it begins, the torturous give and take, leaving me shaking harder and harder with each round, each passing minute that he toys with me. I lose track of time, moaning, screaming with every near orgasm he drives me toward, only to pull back, to leave me hanging.

It’s hell.

It’s agony.

I fucking love it.

My ass is glowing, swollen with his handprints, and I can barely stay up on my knees any longer.

“Now… I need you now,” I beg, my voice muffled in the sheets.

“And what would you give me to have what you want? What would you tell me?”

“Anything, anything you want…”

“I may take you up on that someday,” he whispers into my ear, shooting chills across my skin. Every follicle is alive, every inch of me aware of him, of any touch he might give me. Tugging against the ties at my wrists, I try to rise, but I’m spent. A growling moan escapes my lips as I undulate my hips toward him, feeling his rigid bulge right behind me.

In response, Tell spanks me again, drags his fingers along me once more.

“Not yet,” he says again in his gravelly baritone.

“ Please… ” I can’t take any more.

“Finally.” He unties one wrist. “That’s all you had to say.” Then the other.

Immediately, I toss myself onto my back, looping my legs around him, pulling him on top of me, dragging him until I can slap both of my hands down on his pert ass.

“Fuck. Me. NOW .”

I watch his eyes go wide, every wall of self-control dropping at once.

With muscle rippling strength, he tears off his boxer briefs, tossing the shreds to the side, revealing the entire unbelievable length of him above me. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen,

and the most amazing thing I’ve felt, when he thrusts inside me, slowly but steadily, all the way inside, until his abdomen presses against mine.

He’s so long, filling me to the brim, stretching me just right, curling up at just the right angle to hit that spot.

“Just like that… Stay deep. Don't you dare pull out…”

“Like this?” He grinds his hips, pressing inside me, instantly building my orgasm, layering up the tension toward a tumultuous peak.

I thought I couldn’t take any more before, but this…

My mind buzzes with static, a steady pulse of sensory overload zipping through my nervous system like a thunderstorm.

“Oh, fuck yes…”

“Hella, you'd better come for me, because I can’t hold out very much longer.” Another rotation of his hips has me panting his name, begging him to finish me off.

“Tell, I need you deeper… ” I wrap my fingers around the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss.

And he complies with my request, bending my legs back, my knees to my shoulders and my legs draping over his, folding me in half to drive into me, the angle spreading me wide and opening me to let him in.

Best of all, I can’t move, pinned by his body and his hands locking onto my wrists, completely at his mercy. With a swift pull, he drags himself out, slamming back into me firmly, deeply.

Then it's back to that writhing grind, our bodies never separating as he keeps the pressure pinned between us, tension and friction building to a mind-numbing level. All I can do is cling to him, gripping harder and harder as the charge between us ramps up.

“Tell!” I scream, the only word I can force out to let him know that I’m about to blow a transistor. And it feels like every fuse in my brain fires off at once, popping, rushing, and zapping down every nerve ending, bringing every single inch of my skin to life, my muscles pulsing to our rhythm, my legs and toes locking up as I brace for the fall.

I see him above me, lost in me, his eyes rolling back in his head as he joins my chaotic unwinding, both of our hips bucking in sync, the bed rocking beneath us.

“Hellena!” The sweetest sound slips from his lips, my name singing out in a cry of total abandon.

This is Tell.

This is the man I love.

And just like that, there are no lies between us, no doubts.

Just pure, gasping, sweat-drenched desire, held tight in each other’s arms.