20. NINETEEN

NINETEEN

" T ell me all about your pain and the weight of the world that has been over your shoulders. I'll help you carry it."

As the moonlight showered him and the pine trees stood behind him, Davina was able to notice a small glint in Ron's eyes. She hadn't known when his hand found hers, but she realized that she liked feeling his touch.

He was so gentle with her.

How could anyone like him ever have any type of interest in her?

She flinched as his other hand reached for her face. He stopped once he noticed her hesitation. But then he proceeded to softly clean her tears before she looked down at the bruises covering her arms.

"What happened?"

She debated whether she could trust him. He seemed sincerely interested in her well-being. She prayed that she wouldn't regret being this vulnerable with him.

"My stepfather… He was going to hurt my sister, Genevieve," she began. She could feel his shoulders tensing. "And I stepped in."

Davina sucked in a breath before biting down on her lip, looking away from him so he couldn't see her face. There was nothing more embarrassing for her than to have him find her crying over what was happening at home.

She'd gone to this side of the woods in hopes of letting go of her pain in privacy, but he found her. And he'd decided to remain once he realized she was afflicted, risking his reputation for her.

The usual impotence that closed her lips shut didn't allow her to continue explaining anymore.

Remaining silent had already become a habit of hers, keeping every memory, every word, every aggression wrapped up in the deepest parts of her soul. No one ever approached her to talk about it like Ron was doing now. No one ever did anything.

But neither did she. Davina always felt so small compared to her parents despite having her activated powers.

"What did he do to you?"

She could feel his eyes scanning her bruised arms and then the water that dripped from her curling hair. Davina looked at him and wished he was able to understand without her having to say the words out loud.

Ron shot up from the log. Davina followed.

"Where are you going?" Davina asked as she rushed to his side.

"I'm going to teach that bastard a lesson for putting his hands on you."

Davina's eyes widened, quickening her pace and pulling his arm. "You can't do that."

"I very much can, and I will," Ron growled.

His voice was no longer soft and kind. It was angry and powerful instead. She'd never seen him lose his serenity before.

"Don't do anything to him," she pleaded.

"Why are you defending that piece of garbage?" he yelled.

"Because he won't hesitate to drown me the next time."

Ron stilled and calmed.

He remained silent too long for her liking. She observed him, searching to decipher him. Why did he care so much? This was the first conversation they ever truly had. The first time they'd ever met only included a polite exchange of words of an introduction.

Ron seemed to care more about her than her mother did. Mae decided to stand back and allow him to force her into the water. Now Davina bared bruises over her arms yet there were bruises in her soul that had her mother's name written all over them.

"Why didn't you fight back, Davina? You could've burned him."

"I-I don't know."

"And your mother? What did she do?"

"She never does anything. She allows him to—to do all those things. She leaves me at the mercy of an unknown man who thinks he has the right of a father."

"Why?" he asked.

"I think it's my fault. I gave him the right only a father should have, and he took advantage of it," Davina said.

He sighed before pulling her into his embrace. Davina remained still at first as she realized that he was hugging her. He was comforting her.

Ron, Beacon's brother. The son of the Great Levinas, a descendant of the wealthiest Mistran founding family. But she allowed herself to find solace in his arms, careful not to allow the upcoming cry to escape her lips.

Finally, there was someone who cared about her.

"You don't deserve the parents that you have."

Davina didn't think she deserved either good or bad. The parents that she had were what she had, so she had to deal with it. She remained silent as she closed her eyes, breathing in his scent. So warm and comforting.

Davina's eyes fluttered open, only to meet an unfamiliar white ceiling with three chandeliers dangling across the room. The light emanating from the chandeliers was dim, faintly illuminating the suite. Davina turned to her left, examining the room, her cheek stung as she met the soft cloth of the pillow below her.

She hissed, lifting her hands to reach for the pain. Strong throbs ran from her shoulder down to her wrist almost immediately, slowly she lowered her hand. Raising her head, she was able to find her fractured armor set on the bed beside her.

She gulped. Where was she?

Her heart raced as she recalled the battle of last night, her injuries, and her embarrassing attempt at fighting Raven.

Davina's fingers trembled as they grazed the gauze that was wrapped around her chest and back. Shuffling feet neared the doorless entrance of the infirmary.

"You're awake!" Valerie's voice sang.

Leilani, Cara, and Snow rushed into the room after Val.

"Valerie, I'm so glad you're here." Davina reached for her.

She needed to have some sort of light near her after the storm that Raven threw at her.

"Stop squirming so much, you're going to open up your stitches," Valerie ordered. Davina plopped her hand back onto the bed and rolled her eyes.

Leilani was the first to reach Davina's side, holding onto her hand.

"We're so glad you're okay." Cara sighed as she neared Davina and carefully wrapped her arms around her. Davina rubbed Cara's shoulder with a warm smile.

"You gave us quite a scare. Why the hell did you put yourself in danger like that?" Leilani questioned, her golden skin became scarlet. "Not even Cara, who's new to the team, is that naive like you."

Leilani never got mad, and Davina admitted she felt a bit fearful at the view before her. But then she couldn't help but notice the small scratches running down her best friend's cheekbone.

"Sorry, D, but that was pretty stupid," Cara said. "And I say it because I care about you."

Davina gazed upon them. Valerie had a cut over her lip, Snow had gauze taped over her knuckles and Cara had a violent shade of purple above her right eyelid.

"Are you guys okay?

She should've done better at fighting Raven, she would've protected her friends from bearing those wounds.

"We're fine. Raven and her Predators disappeared shortly after she knocked you out," Snow informed. Davina was glad that Snow's usual condescending tone was gone and replaced by a sweet mercy due to her injuries.

Davina nodded, embarrassment flooding her cheeks. She knew that she wasn't prepared to fight Raven. She knew that she shouldn't have been the chosen one to lead the Island Protectors. She had failed them, she had been too weak.

That's why Raven was capable of easily overpowering her.

"Where are we?" Davina asked.

"Ron's place. He decided that you would best be safe here and not back at your house," Valerie explained.

He was correct. Davina didn't want to imagine the war that her parents would cause because she inconvenienced them with her incapabilities. Davina couldn't even imagine the way he reacted when he saw her beaten up and unconscious. He hadn't appeared during battle, so she figured he retracted from his promise.

Davina breathed in. "How long was I asleep?"

"Just a day," Snow replied.

A day. A whole day since she almost shared her first kiss with Ron since he promised he would understand and since he broke his promise shortly after by not fighting with them in the battle.

"Is he here?"

"He's right outside." Valerie motioned toward the open frame.

"He's been waiting for you to wake up," Leilani noted with a grim expression, causing Davina's heart to pulse faster.

"Is he...?"

" Yes ," they all responded quickly. There was a certain awkwardness in their tone.

She had to speak to him and make sense of the reason why he didn't fight with them. Were they going to be okay or were they going to have another argument?

"Do you think you guys can help me walk to him?" Davina asked with raised eyebrows.

They looked at each other hesitantly before facing her again. Even Snow seemed to question Davina's request.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. You need to rest," Valerie began.

"I'm fine. I've been in this bed for an entire day, I need to stretch my legs too," Davina argued.

"Val's right, you shouldn't get up just yet," Snow said.

"And I don't think Ron would like to speak to you right now, he hasn't been in the best mood since we found you," Leilani confirmed as she scratched the back of her neck.

"If you don't help me, I'm going to do it by myself and most likely I will rip my stitches open. What do you prefer?" Davina asked.

"Fine," Valerie sighed. "You hardheaded Almenara."

She smiled sweetly as Valerie wrapped her arm around Davina's torso, careful not to move her bandaged shoulder. Davina breathed out as her shoulder and chest stung. Leilani, Cara, and Snow kept close as she struggled to find her footing, holding out their hands just in case she slipped. Davina held tighter onto Val as she set her feet over the polished floorboards.

She noticed the brand-new lavender slippers that replaced her usual black boots. They were rather comfortable with their cushioned bottoms.

Leilani must've been the one to have bought them, she's always the one to find the best options whenever it comes to fashion.

"He got them for you," Snow said bitterly. Davina lifted her eyes to face Snow, who had a scowl. It seemed that Snow's cordialness hadn't lasted long.

She couldn't blame her. After all, Morozov's and Almenara's had been rival families for centuries. Snow must've thought the exact same thing that every other member of her family thought of Davina. She imagined that they'd whisper about how she was problematic, that she was not fit for Ron, or to be the Captain of the Island Protectors, and that she was exactly like her parents.

Davina nodded and began to shuffle her feet as Valerie led her to the backyard.

They passed several hallways before reaching the living room. As they neared the glass door, Davina noticed a new brown porcelain ornament sat where the other one, broken by Ron's lightning, had once stood.

"I wish you the best," Valerie whispered.

"It can't be that bad," Davina said.

"It is bad, Davina. I think you underestimate how much he cares about you," Valerie hushed as they neared the glass door in the living room.

Davina's stomach exploded with flutters as they passed the exit and neared wooden railings that curved around his backyard. She found him by a pond, gazing at the little fish that danced near the surface. Ron had his hands behind his back and his shoulders stiff. Davina gulped.

Val guided Davina to the nearest railing, nodding to her before heading back inside. The muscles in her legs and arms strained as she held tight onto the bar beside her, pushing herself near to him. Ron slightly pivoted. Once he set his eyes on her, he turned back to the pond, moving his hands into his pockets.

She felt her heart sink to her stomach.

The imminent conversation that awaited them pained her heart. There was this nagging feeling that whatever happened out in the backyard would change the course of their lives, and not for the better.

"Hey," she whispered.

His back continued to face her. How she wished he allowed her to see his beautiful face. She needed him to tell her that everything was going to be okay.

"Ron," she said.

"What?" he snapped.

Her lips parted. She followed his gaze toward the pond and noticed the little sea animals had been swimming in circles, creating little ripples across the water. She exhaled softly.

"Can we talk? About the battle? About us?"

He remained silent.

"Can you please say something?" her voice cracked. "Look, I know that nothing can change your mind about this, but put yourself in my place. I took care of the kids from the moment they were born, and I promised myself I would do everything I could to keep them safe."

Ron would not change his mind, she didn't know why she was even trying to explain herself to him. He would never understand. He was going to haunt her forever if she didn't give up her position as Captain.

Tears harshly stung her eyes as a horrible idea came to her mind. And it would crush them both entirely. How she wished she hadn't allowed herself to care so much for him, even after her own conscious warned her not to. Somehow Ron had become such a deep part of her life.

Davina knew that she was messed up. She knew that her pain would leak into her budding relationship with Ron and intoxicate him, which was the exact opposite of what she'd wanted.

"I had to fight, Ron. My family is in danger."

She had a dream. A dream to see her siblings happy and free of their emotional bondages. A dream to have her parents transformed into better people because she truly believed they were still capable of being redeemed. If Raven was killed, then everything would be okay. Her family would be okay. She had to do this. There was no way that she wasn't going to fight.

He wanted comfort when she wanted to fight the war. Perhaps he wanted a more comfortable life because of the inactivation of his abilities. The time had come for him to depend completely on his abilities, and he was running away from the opportunity.

"I may be the Captain of the Island Protectors, I may have the duty to protect my people, but above all else, I am the protector of my siblings. No one else, just me."

"It isn't your responsibility to protect them," Ron mumbled.

"Yes, it is, Ron. If I don't do it then who will?" Davina asked.

He only shook his head.

"You said you would understand. You said that you'd fight with us. Why are you being like this?" Davina questioned.

Ron turned to face her with his nostrils flaring and his face reddening. "Do you have any idea the torture I went through in my mind, seeing you bleeding out from a wound in your chest? What do you think went on in my head?"

Davina sighed. She couldn't blame him for that.

"Are you going to protect them the same way you try to protect me?"

Ron remained silent, rubbing his temple. Ron lied to her, he promised he would understand. He never intended to accept her choice to fight as Captain. He didn't have to be this protective, yet he chose to desert his team when they needed him. Like he said he would that day at the library.

"Okay, then, let's say I listen to you," she began. Ron looked up to meet her gaze, her heart throbbed with just one of his glances. She didn't know how she was going to do this. "Let's say I give up my position as Captain and because of that we lose the war. Raven puts her hands on my siblings, and something happens to them. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to bring them back to life if they die?"

He simply stared out at her with a clenched jaw and fists.

"Can't you try for just one moment to get out of that self-centered part of your mind?"

"No," he answered at last.

"No, what?" she snapped.

"No, I would not protect them the same way that I would protect you. No one matters more to me than you do. I'd rather be known as selfish and keep you alive than be selfless and end up finding you dead."

He did not just say that. There is no life she would live without her siblings.

Fire rocketed inside of her sockets and her eyes burned bright violet. Her vision was surrounded with lavender as her fists crackled in flames. Specks of her flames flew out of her eyes and sizzled onto the wooden panels beside her. And for some reason, she could feel the stitches popping off her skin as her wounds closed.

"Then you can forget all about me!" she echoed.

"Davina," Ron said with widened eyes, he took fast steps toward her. Davina immediately stepped away from him, closing her eyes, and pulling in her fire.

Usually, it was Ron who was her anchor. He always brought her back whenever she was flying too high. Whenever her thoughts would spiral, he was the one to bring her back and calm her down. It was always him who knew what to say. He knew how to comfort her, but now he had become a reason for consolation.

But she was an Almenara and now she would live up to her reputation of destroying.

"Just stop, Ron. I'm going to do this, whether you like it or not. Even if you decide to reject your call to war, I'll still be found on the front lines. Even if I must put some distance between us."

"Vivi, don't do this," he pleaded.

Her chest heaved as her lips forcefully curved down. She couldn't let herself cry at this moment. She needed to be strong to do this.

Strong enough to break his heart.

She closed her eyes, finding herself incapable of looking at him as she ripped his heart open.

"I think I have an idea of the woman that you want me to be. I can't be who you want me to be," she whispered. "I can't be the perfect bride who sits by the window in a nice dress, waiting for her husband to come home. I need this war, I need to fight. I need to do something with my life."

Davina decided it best to flee as fast as possible. The heavyweight in her chest had grown due to her decision. Reminding herself that she had to do it for herself and him

"That's not what I expect you to be, Davina. I want you to be your own person, and have your own goals and choices. I just need time to get used to the idea of you doing this," he excused.

His lie angered her even more. He'd already said that before.

"What you need is to make your godforsaken abilities activate," she spat.

His lips formed a thin line as he realized what she had said.

"I'm happy enough without them." He began to step closer, but she immediately stepped away.

As he realized that she didn't want to be near him, he stopped. Davina glanced at him for a moment, then regretted looking into his glossy gray-flecked eyes. She'd never imagined that she would be the reason for his tears.

"You are the reason for my joy and the reason that I get up from bed every morning. You're my hope and my light."

She could almost hear her heart shattering into a million little pieces.

As much as those words were sweet to hear, she knew that being idolized by Ron would be a mistake. It would be emotional suicide for him if she continued to be in his life.

"I shouldn't be," she whispered. Davina observed him as he sighed and lowered his head. "You're not happy, Ron. I know you're not happy. You use me to fill the void of your powers. Admit it."

Davina waited for him to reply, hoping for his sincerity. Maybe if he admitted it, she wouldn't have to walk away and leave him with a broken heart. Maybe she could convince him to fight as an Island Protector. She wouldn't have to go home and hide the pain behind her mask. But he didn't say anything.

She turned but he was quick to grab her arm, not allowing her to leave.

"Please, don't do this, Davina. I need you," Ron croaked as she closed her eyes. Davina savored the feel of his touch over her arm because it would most likely be the last time she ever had the privilege to be this near to him.

But he refused to admit that she was a mere distraction from his shame. What upset her the most was that he was okay remaining with a distraction rather than facing his adversities, which is something he would teach her constantly.

Davina focused on her beating heart as she took a deep breath, feeling the air travel into her lungs and out. She had to do this, she reminded herself, he would be less focused on the activation of his powers and more on taking care of her.

She could do this. She could bottle it up and deal with it later, she was used to it.

Davina numbed that part of herself shrugged off his hand, and said, "Then learn to live without me."