Chapter 17

17

I f I thought physical training was hard, then trying to bring forth magic is like pushing a boulder up a hill in ninety-degree heat. My forehead is covered in sweat, and my fists are balled so tightly that my nails nearly puncture my palms.

We sit in the most astonishing three-story library I've ever seen. It's Beauty and the Beast on steroids. A winding spiral staircase sits in the center of the expansive room, leading up to second and third-floor wrap-around balconies. Each level is filled with books from top to bottom. Bright light filters in through the arched windows, revealing a breathtaking view of the surrounding mountains and blue sky. And then there's the rolling ladders. I only got to squeeze in a brief fangirl moment before Zadyn put on his serious face and sat me down to get to work.

I heave a frustrated groan, collapsing my upper body onto the reading table. Zadyn places a cool glass of water before me and I nod to him gratefully .

The source of my vexation is me trying to push a coin across a table with my mind. I try and try, and nothing happens.

Earlier, when I closed my eyes, slowed my breath, and sank into my body, as Zadyn directed, I could feel the tiniest thrum of magic stirring beneath my skin. It tingled like tiny pinpricks, but it wasn't painful. That had felt like a breakthrough. We sit here an hour later, and it feels hopeless that I'll ever be able to do more than just be aware of my magic.

"The fact that you're exerting yourself like this is a good thing," Zadyn points out, sliding into the chair opposite me. "It means your body is trying to dip into that untapped well of magic."

"It's hard to explain, but it feels like there's a cap over the magic when I push really hard." I sigh and lean back in my seat.

"I mean, that makes sense. I know you don't think that it's major, but being able to feel your magic is a huge step. Could you feel it yesterday? Last week?" he prods.

"No," I admit. "But I want to actually do something with it."

"You will," he assures me. "Just be patient. We just started."

I think for a moment.

"You—the fae," I specify, "have magic, don't you? You can shift, and I've seen you heal me…how are witches any different?"

"Aside from the fact that witches are only female? All witches are part fae, but not all fae are witches. High Fae are typically blessed with one or two affinities, depending on their bloodlines and what region they come from. But they can't summon magic at will beyond their gods-given gifts the way witches can."

"So technically, I'm part fae?"

"All witch lineage can be traced back to the goddess Silva and the original fae of Solterre, but since black blood isn't hereditary, the amount of fae in you is probably infinitesimal. "

I grip my hair and groan, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. "There's so much to learn about this place. I feel like my head is going to explode."

"Not before your history lesson." Jace's voice carries from the door, filling the massive library.

I shake my head, frustrated.

"Twice in one day." I twist to look at him. "To what do I owe this displeasure?"

He slides smoothly into the seat next to me. "Don't lie. You know you're happy to see me." Zadyn tenses from the other side of the table.

"As if." I toss my glamoured mermaid hair over my shoulder, the ends smacking him in the face. He swats it away and leans forward.

"How's the magic coming along?" he asks Zadyn.

"The awareness is there. Now we just have to access and channel it," Zadyn tells him.

"Some of that blue blood would really come in handy right about now." I turn to Jace.

"I'm working on it," he assures me. We are all quiet for a moment. "There's a ceremony tomorrow night for solstice. Perhaps, if she participates, the tea will loosen some of the magic and make it more viable." He glances between us.

"What tea?"

Zadyn shakes his head at Jace. "No. I don't want her drinking Urh Tea. There are too many side effects, and there's a chance it might do nothing but make her sick."

"Hello, sitting right here. What is Urh Tea?"

"It's a very potent plant medicine that can make you hallucinate. Among a few other unpleasant effects," Zadyn explains to me.

"So, it's Ayahuasca," I conclude. Zadyn gives me a yes and no kind of look .

"What's Ayahuasca?" Jace asks.

"It's a plant medicine from my world that people use to guide them on spiritual journeys. It usually ends with people crying, puking, and shitting themselves."

"So it's not much different at all," he deduces. "What's the problem?"

"The difference is that she's in a vastly different environment, and drinking that tea when you're off-center can have consequences."

"Yeah, that, and I'd prefer not to puke or shit myself. What's this ceremony?" I look between them.

"It's a long-standing solstice tradition in Aegar meant to honor the Queen of the Gods, Aerill. It's one of two nights of the entire year when she is able to take physical form to be with her mate. When consumed on this night, the Urh Tea creates an excess of magic within an individual. I'm hopeful its properties will trip your magic, maybe even crack the glamour."

"And that's it? You just drink the tea?"

"Well, the High Priest leads you in ceremony, but essentially. The goal is to open your mind enough so that Aerill can bless you with her spirit."

"The purpose is to hallucinate seeing a god queen?"

"The purpose is to offer your body as a sacred vessel for Aerill to inhabit on the longest night of the year."

"So, there's a chance I drink this stuff and become possessed by a goddess ?" I look between the two of them.

"It's considered an honor among the fae to serve their mother in such a way," Jace articulates, vexation edging his tone.

"Why does she need a vessel? Doesn't she have a body of her own?"

"She has no physical form. She exists in the ether as a spirit that resides inside the moon," Zadyn explains. I shake my head in confusion.

"All the noble families take part by selecting one member to participate in the rite. Of all the participants, Aerill only appears to one," Jace continues. "The king wants Sorscha to represent this year, but she has no real interest. I'm sure she'd be glad to yield her duty to her cousin. " He gives me a disdainful once over.

" We made that shit up ," I whisper to him. "Do you really think I'm going to fool this goddess into thinking I'm royal or something? Won't it piss her off when she finds out I wasted her time?"

" If she even appears to you—which I highly doubt she will." Jace sighs. "It's not illegal for a commoner to participate, it's just rare. Besides, you're a Blackblood. That makes you…important. I don't think Aerill will be disappointed with the option."

Zadyn shakes his head, clearly disagreeing with this idea. But ultimately, he concedes to me. "It's your choice."

I look to Jace. "Is it safe?"

"Nothing is safe." His expression is open.

"But you think it will help unlock my magic?" I clarify.

He nods. "It's worth a shot."

"Okay. I'll do it," I relent, tossing up my hands. "But if I do puke or shit, you're cleaning it."

He chuckles, rising to his feet. "I'll run it by the king," he says and is gone.

"There's a lot we need to cover before tomorrow night." Zadyn stands to face the back wall of books. He pulls a few thick volumes from their shelves and plops them on the table in a neat stack before me. A cloud of dust surges from the pile. I cough dramatically, earning a laugh from him. He settles back into his seat as I lift the first book and flip it open .

"‘ The History of Solterre, Volume One ,'" I read. "I'll never finish this by tomorrow. Can't you just give me the spark notes version?"

"Oh, don't worry, you're getting the crash course." He smiles conspiratorially.

From what Zadyn outlines, Solterre was born from the magic of two mega-powerful gods named Urhlon and Aerill—celestial forms residing within the sun and the moon, respectively. The seed of their love fell onto a nearby star, and from that star, Solterre was created. The gods' magic transformed it into a world capable of sustaining creatures with long lives and magic—the first fae.

Urhlon and Aerill sent three of their seven children to preside over this new world. Myr—goddess of the hunt. Ienar—god of war and wisdom. And Silva—goddess of nature and the elements.

High Fae were the product of the gods' love affairs with the original fae created by Urhlon and Aerill. The children of the gods were gifted with ancient, highly concentrated magic. Special affinities. Urhlon and Aerill's other children visited the world often and sired countless lines of High Fae. But it was Silva's line that sired the witches when she mated one of the first fae males.

"So basically, I'm a descendant of Silva?" I ask.

"Yes, and no. Silva, with her elemental magic, and her mate Sturgis, created the Redbloods and Bluebloods."

"What about the Blackbloods?" I lean forward, engrossed.

"One of Silva's sisters, the goddess Adelphi, was rumored to have taken countless lovers over her long life. Supposedly, she had an affair with a fae male, and they pledged themselves to each other with the Bloodfast ceremony. She then discovered that her lover had betrayed her. He gave her blood to a fatally wounded Blueblood, whom he was in love with, to save her life. She became the first-ever Blackblood."

I nod my head in understanding as Zadyn continues.

"It was discovered from there that when you mix blue blood and the blood of a god, you get a creature of wild power—immortal like the High Fae, but stronger and faster, with godly magic and capabilities. That's why they made such skilled warriors. They were unparalleled."

"Why did Adelphi and her lover exchange blood in the first place?"

"The fae share blood as a form of…intimacy," he explains, color blooming on his tan cheeks.

"Drinking blood is fae foreplay?! That's disgusting!" I slap my hand down on the table.

"It's a little more nuanced than that. Back to what I was saying." The blush fades from his face as he gets back on track. "When Ienar learnt what his sister had accidentally created, he sought to breed a warrior witch-race to govern the lands for him. He fed his blood to a group of Blues, and they became the first-ever Blackblood coven."

"You said Blackbloods are chosen, that it's not hereditary. But I was never given god blood."

"Once the original Blackbloods were made, their magic simply chose others. Their power was not passed down through generations. It was born at random. Even so, they were a sisterhood—stronger than even the High Fae. Which was why they were the first rulers of Solterre."

"I see. So how do the dragons tie into this?"

"Ah, yes. The dragons." Zadyn lowers his voice and leans forward over the table.

"They weren't originally from this world. They came from a neighboring realm as the pets of Zed, Urhlon and Aerill's eldest son. On one of his visits to Solterre, he brought three dragons with him. While here, he attempted to seduce a Blackblood witch, and when she refused, he tried to force her. She escaped by stealing his dragon and burning him alive. There is no magic in all of Solterre more powerful than dragon magic. It is raw, undiluted power capable of wiping away entire worlds. The only thing capable of destroying a god."

Zadyn pauses, letting the weight of his words sink in.

"Zed had enslaved the dragons in his realm for centuries, tormenting and beating them into submission. Grateful for their liberation, the dragons pledged themselves to the Blackbloods and vowed to only bond Blackblood riders. That witch became the first Blackblood High Queen, Arden, paired with her dragon, Hyraxia. Arden appointed two of her sisters to rule with her. They bonded Zed's remaining dragons."

Zadyn flips through the book before me, stopping on a detailed illustration depicting three Amazonian-looking females soaring through the sky on the backs of massive dragons.

"It was the loyalty of the dragons that made Ienar truly afraid. The Blackbloods had already become a threat to him, between their power and their autonomy. So he wiped them from existence."

"Oh my god. That's terrible." I glance up from the book, completely appalled.

"Do not mistake our gods for benevolent creators. They are fickle and envious, with terrifying power."

"I'm sure their egos are through the roof." I shake my head, dropping my gaze back to the book.

"Ienar obliterated the Blackbloods and the hundreds of dragons they bred on our soil, but one survived. After her rider had fallen to Ienar in battle, she slaughtered him in a blind rage. Then alone, without her sisters or her bonded, she retreated to the Mountain of Hysphestus and vowed to sleep until the next Blackblood rider came to claim her."

"A dragon moonlighting as sleeping beauty. Wow."

"All fairy tales are rooted in truth." He shrugs.

"So, the last dragon and the last Blackblood?" I absorb.

"There have been poems, songs, paintings dedicated to you, the Faceless Rider ."

"Are you serious?" I ask doubtfully.

"Deadly. The people of Aegar have waited for you and prayed for your coming since the day the Blackbloods fell, and Arden, with her last breath, promised a reckoning. That reckoning is you."

Chills skitter down my spine.

"That's flattering and all, but I'm no Jesus Christ." I lean back in my seat. He chuckles and closes the book.

"Is—is the kingdom in trouble? Is that why people have been waiting for me?"

"The kingdom is stable for now, ever since Derek married Ilspeth and forged an alliance. With their kingdoms united, the others would be foolish to make a move. But there has been growing unrest in Aegar and whispers of rebellion for many years. A Dragon Rider standing with Aegar would solidify its stronghold and squash any chance of a coup, whether from rebels or a neighboring kingdom. You're the most wanted person in Solterre. Every kingdom is after you."

The weight of his words presses down on my chest.

"And what if I find a kingdom I like better and decide to fight for them instead?" I ask hypothetically.

"There's a reason we landed on Aegean Soil."

"Yes, because you're my familiar, and you're from here."

He shakes his head. "That may be so, but it was your magic that led the way, whether you knew it or not. I do believe you were meant to fight for my kingdom and that the ties between your father, your sister, and Jack are no mere coincidence." His brown eyes are intense as they hold my gaze.

"If you decided you'd rather freeze to death fighting for Hyrax, then I would be by your side, Aegean or not. But no matter who you decide to fight for, you serve a dual purpose. You represent a system of checks and balances for the gods. The Blackbloods were the only ones who stood a chance against them and protected Solterre from their unpredictable whims and tantrums. You alone have the ability to be the protector of not just one kingdom, but all of Solterre."

I blanch at his heavy words, struggling to comprehend how it's me he's talking about. It's me the fae have anticipated, written songs about, painted portraits of. The Faceless Rider . All when I don't even have the first clue of how to exist in this world. Right now, I'm a baby deer trying to learn to walk, but an entire world needs me to run…to fly.

Our conversation is interrupted by my stomach's insistent growling.

"Let's get some food in you." He stands, holding his hand out to me. "We'll pick this up tomorrow."

Day two of training sucks just as much as day one. First, I got my ass handed to me by Jace. And then what little ass I had left got handed to me by Zadyn.

As promised, I attend the princess's picnic after my lessons. I bring Zadyn with me, as per Cece's request, relieved to have someone to lean on if the conversation falters. This is the most social I've been in years, albeit not entirely by choice, though the group seems amiable enough.

My jaw drops at the full view of the manicured grounds. We're guided outside—down a wide stone staircase, past the veranda, and onto the lushest, greenest grass I've ever seen. Ahead, along the cobblestone pathway, stands the maze I glimpsed last night. In the daylight, its beauty is breathtaking, the towering, sculpted shrubs adorned with delicate, bright-colored flowers. Beyond the maze, a vibrant flower garden frames a row of majestic fountains. The serene sound of trickling water tickles my ears as I take in the watchful stares of the marble statues looming above us. I turn to Zadyn, unable to contain my amazement.

"Are those your gods?"

He nods. "All seven, plus Urhlon and Aerill."

He points up at the fountain a few feet ahead, depicting an embrace between two figures. The female is wrapped in a toga-like garment; her crowned head leant back against the shoulder of a tall, robust male. His muscled arm is draped around her waist possessively, and in his outstretched hand, he holds an orb. The female bears its twin in her open palm.

"Sun and moon," he explains to me in a hushed voice. "They were the first mated pair."

"Really? I'm guessing that's a big deal here?" I ask, my eyes drinking in the detailed statues.

"It is. It's the equivalent of a twin flame." He stares ahead, the sunlight turning his caramel hair golden.

"Their love story is a bittersweet one. Without physical forms of their own, they can only be together two nights of the year when they use willing vessels."

"If they're the sun and the moon and if they have no physical form, then their children…?" I trail off. He understands what I'm getting at.

"No one really knows how or why, but the children of the gods have both physical and celestial forms."

"I see." I pluck a bright yellow flower from a nearby shrub as we pass by and lift it to my face, drinking in the sweet scent. "How are mates chosen?"

"Adelphi—Urhlon and Aerill's first-born daughter. Goddess of love."

"But I thought Myr, Silva, and Ienar, before he was killed, presided over Solterre."

"They did," he clarifies, "but when Solterre was created, each of Urhlon and Aerill's children christened it with a gift. Adelphi gifted the fae of the land with mates, created in the image of her parents' love. That was her contribution."

"Everyone has a mate here?" I ask, twirling my flower idly. Zadyn shakes his head, glancing down at me.

"It's become less and less common, as if Adelphi's gift faded with time. But they do still exist." Zadyn points to the fountain up ahead, bearing the likeness of an imposing, if not sinister, male.

"That one is Ienar."

The god of war is built like a gladiator with thick, corded muscles. He is armed for battle—a helmet resting at his hip and a longsword dangling from his free hand.

"How did Ienar defeat the dragons when their fire is the only thing that can kill a god? Wouldn't the witches have obliterated him?"

"He had the element of surprise on his side. They never even saw it coming until it was too late. Even though the Blackbloods were, for all intents and purposes, god-offspring, they were no match for an actual god."

A bout of laughter ripples off the group of royals ahead, catching our eye. Dover careens into the side of the fountain before Kai pounces on him and dunks his head under the water. He howls maniacally before letting him up. Dover crosses back to the ladies and shakes his head like a shaggy dog, spraying them and earning a thousand unamused complaints. I chuckle as we continue our leisurely pace.

"They seem so carefree, don't they? Not what I expected at all." I look up at him.

"I don't think they're as carefree as they let on. Each of them has a name and a title, each their own set of unpleasant responsibilities. I think they savor their time together while trying to outrun who they are and what they were born to do. At least until they no longer can."

"That's sad. Not to have any choice in who you are and what you do."

"It gives us purpose," he counters. "Fae are a powerful species. Like witches. Without some kind of pre-destination, we would be nightmares. Some are, despite that. But you know what they say about idle hands."

We reach our desired picnic spot and pass the afternoon in the glow of the brilliant sun. I try to avoid thinking about the ceremony until we reluctantly pack our things and head back toward the castle. With each step, my anxiety grows.

I have no idea what I've gotten myself into.