Chapter 11

11

I 'm not sure why I thought stabbing it would really work.

Instead of feeling flesh give way beneath the sleek blade, I strike something hard, like stone. But when I try to pull the dagger free, it refuses, lodged between…a ribcage?

I don't wait to find out.

Abandoning the dagger, I break into a sprint.

A dark chilling laugh echoes through my head. My heart threatens to burst from my chest as I pump my arms, running faster than I ever have in my life.

Without warning, a cold hand grips the neck of my shirt and yanks me back, tearing the fabric clean off my body.

Sharp, jagged bones dig into my bare back as I hit the forest floor. Scrambling backward, I look up to see the Mara clutching my tattered shirt in its bony hands. It inhales loudly, lifting the rag to its obscured face.

"Mmmm, your fear smells divine," it purrs, its putrid breath stinging my nostrils.

I grapple for anything to use against the specter looming above me. It drifts closer through the air, eerily graceful .

My hand closes around a long, thin bone beneath me, and I snap it over my knee, screaming at the backlash of pain that follows. I hold up one of the sharp ends with trembling hands.

This motherfucker's about to eat me alive.

"Oh, no, no, no. Now this won't do. I want to taste your fear. I want to taste your pain ," it hisses softly, death personified.

"You're gonna have to try a little harder than that, Casper."

"Sweet thing." It looms nearer, its breath dousing me in a foul stench that makes me dizzy. "You've yet to see me try."

Scrambling to my feet, I try to run again. A sharp pain forces me to cry out as I look down at the thin bone embedded in my thigh. On instinct, I pull it out. Blood spurts from the wound.

The Mara groans in pleasure at the smell, drifting closer. It lifts its cement-white fingers to draw back its heavy hood. Long, stringy raven hair falls free as I peer into a gaunt gray face, so sunken it's nearly skeletal. It has no lips, only a gaping black hole of a mouth. Its eyes bulge from within the deep sockets—the black pupils so dilated they swallow up all the white.

My heart lodges in my throat as I blindly scramble away.

I make it a few feet before the creature is upon me, tossing me onto my back and squatting above my chest, pinning my arms beneath its spindly fingers. I'm unable to contain the scream that bursts from me.

I holler relentlessly. I can't stop. I can't make myself stop.

Then the forest floor disappears beneath me, and I'm suddenly standing over my dad's hospice bed, staring down at his frail, weak body—tubes in his nose, needles in his arms. I cry out, trying to clear the image from my head.

"This isn't real." I back away, but I'm met with a wall of muscle. I spin around, and Jack—no, not Jack—the captain towers over me menacingly. He grips my face with one hand, and for a split second, it is the gentle caress of a lover. Then his lips pull back, bearing sharply pointed canines. His smile turns violent, bloodthirsty, as he drives a knife into my gut.

I wail, nails digging into his shoulders as I struggle to stay upright. He twists the knife, and pain like I've never known decimates me. I crumble to the ground.

My hands are wet with my own blood.

Jack withdraws his blade with jarring force, and I fall back, unable to scream or breathe or think.

His molten eyes glitter triumphantly as he lifts the blade to his cruel mouth and slides his tongue up the edge, lapping up my blood.

My black blood.

"Please," I beg through the sobs, horrified by the sight. "Please stop."

That's better, the death voice speaks into my mind.

I struggle to keep my eyes open. My fingers and toes begin to fall asleep. Spots decorate my vision. I know I'm losing too much blood. This is how I die. I should have listened to Zadyn.

Icy hands wrap around my throat, but everything is black now. I can feel its rancid breath on my face like a harsh wind. My jaw clenches as I brace myself for the death blow, but the clammy hands disappear from my neck.

I force my eyes open.

I'm on the forest floor. I clutch my stomach, expecting to find warm, thick liquid pooling there. But there is no blood, no fatal wound. My eyes flash at the movement before me.

A high-pitched screech makes me clap my hands over my ears. I struggle to my elbows, still weak and disoriented. Three armored males on imposing black steeds dash into view, swords drawn and blazing with white light.

I recognize that shining black armor. Those horses. The Kingsguard.

Another grating sound bursts from the Mara, its eyes growing red and swollen. It tears at its own face with razored claws as the Kingsguard surrounds it. Two of them lift their swords, angling them toward the third soldier in the center. He raises his own sword high into the sky, and as he does so, bright bolts of lightning spit from the swords of the other two guards. The white lightning strikes the raised metal blade, and it vibrates with energy. A blast of blinding light erupts like a tidal wave through the dark forest as he brings the electrified sword down through the Mara's head. The very ground shakes as I throw my arms over my eyes, unable to bear the brightness of a thousand suns.

The screeching sounds cut off abruptly. I slowly peel my eyes open, the intense light having eased to a soft glow.

The tallest of the guards dismounts and races over to me, crouching by my side. He rips off his helmet, and a mess of dark hair tumbles out. Golden eyes lock on mine.

I scramble back, gasping.

"You're hurt," he says, reaching for me.

"Get away from me," I growl.

"Where are you bleeding from?" He inches closer, scanning my body.

"Don't touch me!" I scream. "You tried to kill me!"

Surprise crosses his face before his expression softens.

"No, no, it was an illusion. The Mara—" He shakes his head. "Let me help. On my life, I won't hurt you."

I'm pretty sure that the fae are allowed to lie despite the many stories stating the opposite. I have no time to debate before Zadyn sprints into view. He slides onto the ground beside me and grips my face in his hands.

"Are you hurt?" His gaze travels frantically over my face, my body, my bloody leg. "What did you do to her?" he snarls at Jack .

"I'm fine," I answer for him. In a flash of movement, Jack has Zadyn on his feet, a dagger pressed to his throat.

The handsome red-headed twins approach swiftly to restrain Zadyn. He turns on them with a ferocity I've never seen from him, baring two razor-sharp canines in threat. Jack's blade nicks his neck, and a thin line of blood beads on his tan skin.

"Stop!" I scream. "He's my familiar. Let him go."

Jack does so reluctantly, and the twin guards ease back. They look down at me, and it suddenly dawns on me that I'm sitting here bloody and topless in front of four men, in just a bra. Either noticing my embarrassment or the shivers that rack my body, the captain removes his cloak, extending it to me. I take it cautiously, monitoring his every move.

"She said you tried to kill her," Zadyn growls as he lowers himself back to me, tearing a piece of fabric from his sleeve and bracing my thigh in his hand. I wince, my fingernails digging into his shoulder as he begins to bind it snugly.

"The Mara illusioned her. We arrived just in time. Found her pinned beneath it, screaming her head off. What were you thinking, letting her run off into the Bone Forest alone after dark?" Jack grills him.

Zadyn snarls. I can feel the anger rolling off him. I put a hand to his chest in warning.

"It was my fault. He told me to stay where I was, and I wandered off."

"Evaded by your little witchling," Jack tuts, condescendingly shaking his head. "Some familiar."

Zadyn is all but quaking with rage.

"I'm sorry," I say firmly to him, clutching his shirt, trying to pull his attention back to me. "I should have listened. I'm sorry." He finally tears his burning gaze away from Jack, and his eyes soften when they land on me.

"I got back, and you were gone. You had me terrified." He shakes his head regretfully. "This place is a vacuum. I couldn't hear you, couldn't even pick up your scent."

"As much as I'd love for you to have this little heart-to-heart here and now, I would advise we save it for when we aren't sitting ducks," Jack pipes up, earning another glare from Zadyn. I glance over at the tattered robes strewn across the forest floor. The Mara, however, is nowhere in sight. "I'm sure it has a few friends who would be thrilled to meet us."

"Is it dead?" I ask as Zadyn helps me stand.

"It's dead," Jack confirms.

The light, Sir Warryn had said. It couldn't handle the light.

I try to take a step, but Zadyn scoops me into his arms, carrying me toward the waiting horses. Normally I would protest, but I can barely put any weight on my leg right now. The twins mount their steeds. Only one is left remaining.

"She can ride with me," Jack says as we approach the largest stallion.

"Absolutely not." Zadyn makes no effort to set me down.

"I'm not going back to the castle."

"We'll discuss that when we get somewhere safe," Jack says flippantly, patting his horse.

Neither Zadyn nor I move. Jack pauses, looking back at us.

"Would you rather the two of you walk? It's just a ride. You can go with Max," he tells Zadyn, jerking his chin toward one of the twins. "Or Mal, if you prefer. Come on, friend, I won't bite her." Jack flashes him a condescending smirk, and he tenses, tightening his grip on me.

"Zadyn," I say, snapping him out of their little pissing contest. "Put me down. It's only a ride. I'm fine."

Reluctantly, he sets me down beside the black beauty, his eyes never once leaving Jack's.

"I'll be right behind you," he assures me and helps me into the saddle to sit in front of Jack, who's already mounted. The warm smell of a campfire hits me as he scoots closer, reaching around me to grip the reins.

"You need to hold on, witch. This won't be a leisure ride." He takes my hands and places them on the reins just above his. His voice tickles my ear, and I want so badly to lean back into him. To rest my head on his shoulder. To have his arms pull me back against him.

But I can't. And he won't.

He kicks the horse and leads us through the forest at a punishing pace. I bounce so hard that my hips leave the saddle with each gallop. Just when I think I'm going to fly clean off, Jack's arm presses against my stomach and locks me in. I settle on his lap as he roots me to the horse and pulls me flush against his hard body. It's tough not to let his nearness get to me. Him holding me like this doesn't mean what I want it to. It doesn't mean anything at all.

We make it to the edge of the Bone Forest without another hiccup. I loose a breath of relief as the horses touch down on rich green grass.

I'm surprised to see that where we stop, a camp is already set up in the center of a large clearing. A handful of horses graze beneath thick-trunked trees while a pack of gray bloodhounds nap lazily beside the crackling fire. Five or six guards occupy a fallen log, holding skewers of dark meat to the flame. My stomach rumbles at the scent.

Jack helps me dismount, and I pull the heavy cloak tighter around myself as the chill of night sends a shiver through my body. The cloak is better than being topless, but it's open down the front and doesn't offer much protection against the elements.

"I'll find you a shirt," Jack says quietly enough that only I hear. He ties up his horse as Zadyn approaches.

"Come on, let's get you warmed up. "

I lean on him for support as we make our way to sit by the fire. I'm given a piece of meat to nibble on, and someone passes a canteen of water around.

"You and that Bone Forest," says a deep, husky voice.

I glance up and am met with the auburn-haired, green-eyed twins. Identical, chiseled faces of elemental beauty peer at me from across the fire. One wears his hair twisted up into a man bun and the other lets it flow softly over his shoulders.

"Thought you would have learned the first time," the man bun on the left says with a wink. I quirk an eyebrow.

"Hello, nice to see you again." He dips his head. "I'm Max. And this is Mal." He claps his brother hard on the shoulder, knocking the skewered meat in his hands to the ground. His twin slowly turns to glare at him.

My eyes dart between the two of them.

"We're twins," Max explains.

I nod.

"I hadn't noticed."

Max bursts into a loud, infectious laugh. Mal does not join him. He just watches me silently, intently, with preternatural stillness. It's slightly unnerving.

"She's funny. The witch is funny, Cap," Max crows as Jack walks around him and wordlessly extends a blousy white tunic to me. He barely acknowledges his soldier's epiphany as he stalks away, silent and aloof.

I twist my torso, facing the trees so as to not flash tit at the circle of guards while I slide the top over my head. The shirt fits me like a dress and smells deliciously like Jack. I turn back to the hoots and hollers of the fae males around me and flip them off, earning their respect in the process.

I lock eyes with Jack. He doesn't smile or join in his men's jovial quips. He sits across the fire, quiet and brooding, his molten eyes looking like a part of the flame itself. A glowing ember in the night.

"And you," Max says, wagging a finger at Zadyn as he chews loudly. "You must be the rabid OrCat Mal shot in the forest that day. Glad to see you made it. Had we known?—"

Zadyn lifts a hand, sparing him. "You didn't know. It's fine. It didn't even scar." He directs that last part at the stone-faced Mal, who eyes us up before returning his gaze to the fire.

"I'm furious with you, you know." Zadyn lightly nudges my shoulder as he takes a sip of water.

"I don't blame you," I admit.

"You could have been killed?—"

"Zadyn, please. I can't do the lecture. Not tonight. I know everything you're about to say, and you're right. I'm sorry if I scared you."

He laughs without humor. "That's putting it mildly."

After we finish eating, Zadyn insists on checking my thigh wound. He cuts through my pant leg with a small knife before dabbing it with a dampened cloth.

"I can't heal it before it's properly cleaned. If it's infected, it will just seal it in," he explains.

The bleeding has stopped, thankfully, and I pray it doesn't get infected out here in the wilderness. For all the magic in this world, I don't think they've mastered the art of modern medicine.

Zadyn and I have to share the only extra bedroll in the camp, and I'm grateful for the warmth of his body near mine. By the time we lay down, my body feels heavy and exhausted. But my mind is not so willing to rest. I toss and turn while Zadyn sleeps peacefully at my side.

Wired and frustrated, I sit up and glance toward the still-blazing fire. Jack is the only one left there, taking the first watch while the rest of the camp sleeps. He stokes the fire with a stick, eliciting soft crackles in the quiet night. His gaze locks with mine, wordlessly beckoning me.

I find myself walking toward him. He watches me approach. Stopping before him, I slip the cloak from my shoulders and hold it out to him.

"Thank you," I say softly. He shakes his head, eyes sliding back to the fire.

"Keep it. You'll freeze without it."

Not in the mood to argue, I slide the heavy wool back over my shoulders and take a seat beside him. He quickly schools the look of surprise on his face into a mask of indifference.

"How did you get to me so quickly?" I ask. The angles of his face are made even sharper by the shadows and the dancing firelight as he stares into the flames.

"We were heading north toward Hyrax when we heard you screaming," he explains. "You're lucky we had just stopped to set up camp when you were attacked, or we wouldn't have gotten to you in time."

I lower my eyes while I pick at my nails.

"I should thank you for saving my life."

"I'd do it for anyone," he says without looking at me. "The better question is, what were you doing in the Bone Forest when you should have been at the castle?"

"Needed some fresh air."

He chuckles darkly.

"Or you heard my conversation in the hall earlier and went searching for the portal." Jack peers at me, face half illuminated by the crackling fire. "You're either incredibly stupid or incredibly brave."

"Actually, I'm just tired of everyone refusing to hear me out and treat me like a human being."

His dark brows arch in surprise .

"Oh, you know what I mean. I did what I had to do. Or tried to, at least."

"You would have been quite disappointed if you had made it to the portal, only to find that it's out of commission for the foreseeable future. Whatever passed through that gate did a solid job of making sure no one else could."

"So, why are you and your men heading there?"

"To scout the area, try to figure out what was strong enough to destroy two Guardians and stop it from invading these lands any further. I had planned to travel north with my men, but now that's changed."

I tilt my head in confusion.

"I'm escorting you back in the morning," he clarifies.

"I meant what I said. I'm not going back." I hold firm. "Besides, don't your men need you?"

"I'm not their mother. They can handle themselves."

"Then let us go north with you. Zadyn and I will make ourselves useful. I promise."

He looks at me with those golden eyes, and every part of me feels electric. "What's in it for you?"

"Honestly?" I say. "I'm hoping you'll help me find another way to get home."

"And defy direct orders of the king by abetting your escape? No, thank you."

"Am I a prisoner then?" He doesn't answer. I shake my head. "You don't understand—I don't belong here. This isn't my world."

"If that were true, I don't think you could have found your way here even if you tried. Despite where you were born, this is where you ended up. I'm not letting you out of my sight until I know more."

I groan in exasperation.

"I tried to run. I tried to get away from you, from the king," I point out. "Doesn't that prove to you that this isn't some elaborate act? That I'm not just posing as a Blackblood to win the king's favor?"

He is silent for a moment.

"Or you just hate the food at the castle." I roll my eyes as he shrugs.

"Why can't you just say you believe me?" I press, ignoring his mild joke. He gives me a long look and once again deflects my question.

"I, for one, think the food is pretty decent."

"I'm being treated like an object. Like I belong to the king, yet he won't even see me. I have no say in anything. And you don't help—with your constant doubt and derision."

"The king thinks you might be of use to him." He takes a swig from a canteen. "It's my job to make sure you're not a threat."

"Then let me prove to you that I'm not. But you can't expect me to help the king if I'm not getting something in return." He turns his eyes to mine. "The way I see it is you need me, and I need you," I say, not backing down from his stare. "You've been searching for the last Blackblood for centuries, and I want to go home. I'll do what he needs me to do in exchange for help getting back. Safely," I specify.

He contemplates this for a while. "You need to understand something," he starts slowly. "This isn't a one-time favor he's asking of you. Aegar needs a Dragon Rider. It's a permanent position."

"It's a life sentence, you mean," I counter, leaping to my feet. "If you think I will give my life for a cause that has nothing to do with me, that I never asked?—"

He clamps a large hand around my wrist, and I stop short. His eyes are softer as he stares up at me.

"He needs you. We all do. "

His words take me off guard, but they hit their desired mark. The king needs me. He needs me. Which means that some small part of him believes me. How can I turn my back?

The campfire crackles as he holds my gaze. Something charged passes between us, and his reaction tells me he feels it too.

"Why is me trying to kill you one of your greatest fears?" he murmurs, his hand sliding from my arm. "The Mara show you visions of your deepest fears in order to feed on your pain and torment. You said you had a vision… of me trying to kill you."

I nod, swallowing thickly. "You plunged a knife into my stomach. And twisted it," I admit, staring at the ground.

"Why?" His gravelly voice is little more than a whisper. "Why would you fear that?"

"Maybe since you've been known to stab me in the past," I mutter under my breath, crossing my arms.

"If I wanted to hurt you, I would have. Certainly wouldn't have healed you afterward."

It was Jack that healed my leg after he drove his knife into it?

I stare into the fire, away from the scrutiny of his gaze.

"You're not convincing, you know." He stretches his long legs in front of him and leans back on his palms.

"I'm not trying to convince you of anything."

"But there's something you won't say." He narrows his eyes in challenge. "You're keeping secrets."

"Because I don't know you." I toss my hands up in the air. "What do you want from me? You want to read my high school diary?"

"I want you to be truthful."

"I have been nothing but truthful. You just refuse to believe a word that comes out of my mouth."

"Can you blame me? "

"I've never lied to you," I whisper fervently. "But I don't trust you, just like you don't trust me. Even if I did tell you everything, you'd probably just choose not to believe me."

"Let me be the judge of that," he says simply.

I sit back down with a sigh.

"This is all new to me. A week ago, I thought Zadyn was a little old bookshop owner. My friend. Then he—he showed me this book. Basically forced me to recite these words, and next thing I know, Zadyn shifts into this hot guy, and I'm swallowed up by a puff of black smoke. I woke up in the Bone Forest, and you and your men picked me up. Zadyn snuck into the castle and explained everything. A week ago, my life was mundane—boring. I was blissfully unaware that magic was real, that the fae were real, and that, apparently, I'm a witch."

I try to decipher his expression.

"Do you believe me?"

He nods after a moment of pregnant silence. "You've never accessed your magic?"

"When I read those words from the book, my hands, they—" I look at my palms carefully. "I all but burned a hole through the table. When I tried to do it again, nothing happened. I haven't been able to do anything out of the ordinary since then."

He's quiet for a long time.

"What made you think I might be a witch in the first place?" I ask, earning his steady gaze. "When you found me that day in the Bone Forest, you took me straight to the king."

"I was just following protocol. The king ordered every witch found in our lands to be brought before him." He scratches the stubble shadowing his sharp jawline as he studies the fire. I fight the urge to lean in and lick it.

Oh my god, I need to stop.

"I first suspected it when I saw the shadow smoke. That's how Blackbloods used to travel. They were called shadow walkers. They could leap from one side of the world to the other in a matter of seconds, riding the shadows. Not many Bluebloods can swing that." He pauses. "Also, from the way your OrCat friend was defending you, I assumed he was a familiar."

"Is that a witch thing?"

"Yes, only witches have familiars. Thousands of years ago, it was considered uncommon for a witch not to have a familiar. Now, it's the opposite. It's rare among the Reds and Blues."

"Do you think I made that smoke happen?" I ask. "I had just assumed it was the book."

"I think the book acted like a catalyst in getting you here," he says finally. "When you said those words out loud, I think you opened a door to our world and unlocked a part of yourself you didn't know existed."

I sit with this for a moment, studying the familiar planes of his face.

"I'll go back to the castle," I concede. "On one condition."

He sighs in vexation but motions for me to continue.

"You bring me to the king, and we all discuss this like sensible adults. Then I will decide to stay or go."

"Done."

"And you agree that this is not me working for you. We are all working together. And I need answers to my questions if I am to help you. We need to be open with each other, to trust each other. Do you think you can get the king to agree to that?" I ask.

"He values my counsel, so yes. I will speak to him."

"And can you agree to that?" I narrow my eyes at him. He gives a curt nod.

"Good. And I want to be moved out of that little four-by-four you call a room."

He sighs again dramatically .

"Fine. That's three conditions, by the way. Would you also like to add a tutor to your list of contingencies? Your ability to count is seemingly impaired."

I smack his arm. He doesn't smile, but there's a dark glint of amusement in his golden eyes.

I resolve to give this an actual shot. I will stay to find answers. I will stay to be close to this alternate version of my father, even if he doesn't know me, even if he's the king and I'm a means to an end for him. I will stay until he can look at me with pride and love in his eyes.

Jack and I fall silent, staring into the fire until my eyelids begin to droop, and I reluctantly drag myself away to sleep.