Chapter 1

”You”re so beautiful,” he whispered as he stroked my cheek.

”You haven”t taken your medicine,” I reminded him as a tear rolled down the side of my face.

”You”re the only drug I”ve ever needed,” he assured me as he used his thumb to wipe it away.

”I”m expired,” I reminded him softly with a chuckle.

It was a sentiment I often spoke whenever he gave me the exact same reason for not trying to get better.

”We all do at some point,” he replied wryly as he turned on his side and slipped an arm around my waist. When he scooped me closer to him I smiled faintly as a fresh tear broke the barrier.

”Can I have a hug now?” I asked hopefully.

”It”s not time for that yet.”

His tone was quiet, thoughtful, and a little subdued.

I sighed, deciding it was time to go back to the original subject. ”You”ll get sick again if you don”t take your medicine.”

”Good,” he said as he turned his face so that his lips grazed my cheek. ”Then there”ll be no doubt that they will remember me.”

”Wouldn”t you rather show them that you got better without them?”

He scoffed but didn”t say anything else.

The moment we shared had been ruined by my damn near hourly reminders that he needed to take his medication.

In a way, I understood the resentment. He saw what they did to me and feared they would do the same to him, but Elijah Young was truly sick.

Unlike me.

I sighed when he turned on his side, his back to me and moved forward to lay an arm around his waist.

“Don’t be angry with me,” I pleaded. “I just want you to get better.”

“Right,” he replied curtly, but he interlaced his fingers with mine to let me know that he wasn’t entirely angry with me.

“When was the last time you took them?” I persisted quietly.

Elijah let out a loud sigh as he let go of my hand and whipped the sheet off our bodies. He sat up and reached for his prosthetic, secured it so he would be able to walk properly, then reached for the orange bottle that sat on the nightstand, next to our bed in the only motel room we could afford.

I pushed myself up onto my elbow and watched him carefully as he walked into the bathroom. I heard the sound of the water sputter as he turned the dial, then the sound of the bottle being opened. A moment later, he reemerged with two pills in the palm of one hand, and a plastic cup full of water in the other.

He came over and sat next to me on the bed, held my eyes for a moment and shook his head before he tossed the pills into his mouth, then chased it with the lukewarm tap water.

I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees as I waited. I hated treating him the way Mama and Papa did me with the routine of making me prove that I had taken what I was prescribed. But, if he didn’t learn to control his demons, he’d be a danger to both of us.

“Ahhhh.”

He opened his mouth to show me that he had swallowed his pills. When I didn’t react right away, he sighed and lifted his tongue to show me that he wasn’t as proficient in hiding his medication as I had learned to be.

“See? All gone, Aunt Maisie. Now can we just relax before we have to leave?” he asked as he set the cup down on the dirty carpet.

I nodded and he grinned.

It was nice to see that he could still genuinely smile at times. Even though I couldn’t, I always did my best for him because he deserved it.

Elijah’s only sin was being born, and no one should have ever suffered what he did for something he had no control over.

I moved over slightly when he gave me a gentle nudge and turned his body to lie down. After he rested his head comfortably against my shoulder, I turned my face toward the mirror sitting directly in front of the bed.

All I could see looking back at me was the beginnings of a monster… One that had been torn apart from the inside and held no love for anything in this world other than the young man in her arms.

The kind of monster that would do anything to keep her sin close to heart—happy, safe, content.

And when my eyes shifted toward him, I saw something different. He already looked like all the things I wished for him.

Only, he wasn’t whole any more.

Part of his leg, from just below the knee had been cut off before he came back for me.

He told me that he did it because it was the first foot that left when he ran away as Papa chased him out. That it was the one that abandoned me, and he couldn’t bear keeping it for betraying me.

I remember his confession like it was just yesterday. The way his eyes searched mine as he sobbed and begged me to forgive him for leaving.

But I didn’t love him any less.

I didn’t fear him, either.

It only made me want to be better for him, and that would mean facing our tragic past before we could secure a future together.

I turned away from the mirror and rested my cheek against his head as his breathing became even.

Elijah Young was exactly that.

A man barely twenty-two years of age with a predatory urge inside of him, one I encouraged when the moment called for it.

It’s the only way we’d be able to keep a roof over our heads, food in our bellies—no matter how scarce—and each other.

“Go to sleep, Aunt Maisie,” he mumbled against my shoulder, and I chuckled.

It seemed that he was a lot smarter than I gave him credit for, and that was something we would need in the coming days and months.

I looked in the mirror one more time before I sighed and slid down on the bed, taking with me the image of the monster into the world of dreams.

Maisie Decker.

A woman seemingly thirty-nine years of age, with stunted growth, who was damaged on the inside and out.