Chapter 5

5

Jill

Monday morning can’t come fast enough.

I want to see Zach again.

Even if he made me promise to keep this new part of our relationship a secret at school, I just want to be around him. Even more than usual—and that is really saying something, considering I always feel like I’m holding my breath until that first glimpse of him in the hallways of Juniper High.

Once again, I’m surprised how bold I was in his bedroom on Saturday night. But I wasn’t lying when I told Zach I trust him. That trust made it easier to let go and then it was like flying. Every time I think of our reflections in the mirror, I shiver, the walls of my flesh compressing, prickly heat racing down to my toes. Has he been thinking about it nonstop, too?

Maybe once we’ve spent some more time together, he’ll want to be with me. Out in the open. He won’t be worried about his fellow honor students judging him for dating the head cheerleader who could barely pass geometry.

Zach was really sweet to call me intelligent the other night, but I know he was just being kind to me, like he always is. This is the same guy who once pretended to ride a roller coaster with me at Six Flags, then snuck me out the exit door before we could actually board the ride, because I was terrified. And then he bought me a waffle cone, sat beside me on a bench and waited for everyone else to catch up.

He’s the best. That’s why I love him.

So I need to be happy with the arrangement. And anyway, no one can stop me from daydreaming about us walking down the hallways holding hands.

A little flip in my stomach signals that Zach is coming.

I check my reflection in the mirror I have taped up inside my locker and brush nonexistent wrinkles from the skirt of my blue and white flowery sundress. Swallowing the butterflies in my throat, I turn my head to watch Zach approach and my knees go weak. He’s a foot taller than any of the students he passes, so cool and unassuming in his jeans and navy long-sleeved shirt, pushed up to the elbows, backpack over one shoulder. Boots. A few days’ growth of his beard.

My thighs squeeze together at the memory of him driving those huge hips against my bottom. I’ll wreck this pretty little cheerleader ass.I’ll fucking wreck it.

Anticipation crackles in my tummy. Want for more. If he asked me to make out with him right here and now, in front of everyone, I would do it without question, because I’m that desperate for more of his kisses. More of his fingers on me. Inside me, maybe, next time.

Zach’s moss-green eyes find me through the sea of students and they warm, his mouth lifting in a lopsided smile. Is he going to come talk to me? In front of everyone? That wouldn’t be unusual, right? Everyone knows we’re close because of my friendship with Harper.

He keeps coming in my direction and I know I’m smiling like a total idiot. His gaze travels down the front of my dress, catching on the short hem where it brushes me high on my thighs. A muscle ticks in his cheek. I’m aware of my appearance enough to know these heeled sandals do a lot for my legs, making them look longer, and I hope he’s picturing them wrapped around his waist. I hope he can’t wait another day to touch me. I can’t.

When Zach is about ten feet away, something in his expression changes. He looks at something behind me and his stride slows. I glance back over my shoulder and see my friends from the squad are closing in, huddled together and laughing at something on one of their phones.

And when I turn back, Zach is gone.

Quickly, I turn and bury my head in my locker, so no one will witness the burning humiliation on my face. I expected Zach to be standoffish in front of the smarter kids, but the cheerleaders, too? Maybe he just wants to avoid anyone speculating that something might be going on.

After all, when one word of gossip is whispered at this small school, everyone has heard it within the hour.

Stop being so sensitive. You knew the rules.

With a restoring breath, I reach into my locker for my sociology textbook, but it’s nowhere to be found. I must have left it at home. Shoot. The sociology teacher deducts points for not being prepared in class and I really can’t afford to have my grade falter.

I turn to one of my friends who are chattering away at the locker beside mine.

“Hey, Mindy. You don’t have sociology today, right?”

“No.” She combs her fingers through her bangs. “Tomorrow.”

“Is your book in your car? Can I borrow it?”

She shrugs and starts to rummage through her backpack for keys. “Sure. It’s in the backseat.”

“Thanks.”

A minute later I’m jogging across campus toward the parking lot, well aware that I’m going to be late and already cringing over the hard time my teacher is going to give me. But at least he won’t ding me, points-wise. The parking lot is pretty clear of students right now, since most of them have made their way to the next period. I turn in the circle looking for Mindy’s red Honda Accord, pressing her unlock button a few times until I see the lights flashing.

As I’m hustling toward it, I notice two low-to-the-ground sports cars at the end of the parking lot. They’re side by side revving their engines, senior guys standing around and encouraging them with whistles and shouts. What are they doing?

It’s not until I hear the squeal of tires that I realize they’re racing.

Drag racing.

In the school parking lot.

And I’m right in their path.

They have to see me, right? If they do, they must be pretty sure I’ll get out of the way in time, because they don’t slow down. They only speed up. At first I’m frozen, but my survival instinct kicks in and I throw myself in between two parked cars, scraping my knee painfully on the asphalt. I squeeze my eyes shut waiting for them to pass, but they never do.

There’s a loud metal on metal screech, immediately followed by a deafening crash.

The car I’m hiding behind skids toward me, knocking me into the vehicle on the other side and I smack my head, landing flat on my back on the blacktop. There’s some shouting in the distance and eventually around me, but I just lie there, trying to regain my equilibrium. The sun winks in and out behind clouds above me. My knee is a sharp throb.

I’m lucky to be alive, that much I know, even through the daze.

“Jill!”

Zach’s panicked shout is what finally causes me to sit up slowly. I blink a couple of times and wait for a flood of disorientation, but thankfully it doesn’t come. Probably no concussion. As a cheerleader, I take spills all the time while practicing stunts and I think I’m more stunned than anything. Who expects to almost get mowed down by a car in the school parking lot?

Zach is still calling my name, sounding more and more anxious, and I realize the front ends of the cars on either side of me have been wedged together. No one can see me on the ground. So I put up a hand, waving it—and Zach is there an instant later, launching himself over the damaged cars and kneeling down on the ground beside me.

He’s sucking wind, his green eyes haunted as they travel over me. When he sees my bloody knee, he chokes a sound, raking his fingers through his hair. “Oh my God, Jill, baby, are you okay? Are you?”

“Yes. I’m fine.”

His hands shake, hesitating over my bloody knee. “Jesus. I couldn’t find you. I couldn’t find you. I thought…” He shakes his head vigorously. “What the fuck happened?”

I open my mouth to tell him, then stop.

Obviously, I can’t lie. But if I tell him the guys almost hit me while racing, I have a feeling he won’t react well. And I won’t have him messing up his amazing school record over me. Not when he’s destined for bigger, better things.

Zach latches on to my hesitation, eyes narrowing.

This is the most even-tempered man I know, except maybe when he’s on the football field. But there’s nothing even about him now. Jagged rage spikes in his expression and he’s pushing to his booted feet, vaulting over the mangled wreckage.

“Zach, no,” I call after him.

I stand and limp forward, but there’s no way I’ll get over the smashed front ends of these cars with my injury, so I hobble around the back as fast as I can, adrenaline pounding in my ears. When I make it out into the parking lot, students are standing around in droves, obviously drawn outside by the loud crash. Zach has one of the drivers by the neck, holding him off the ground against his totaled car. “You almost killed her, you piece of shit,” Zach roars, bashing the student onto the vehicle, the guy’s head and limbs flailing like a rag doll. A security guard is trying to drag Zach off the other student with no luck. He’s half Zach’s size.

It’s up to me to stop him from doing something he’ll regret.

“Zach!” I shout, limping over and laying a hand on his arm.

A tremor goes through him and he looks down at me with a wild expression. Like he’s lost in some vengeful place inside his own head and I’m calling to him from another planet. “Jill,” he says hoarsely.

That’s the moment the whole ordeal catches up with me, so the tears that gather in my eyes are real. “My knee hurts so bad. You have to take me to the nurse.”

A light clicks on behind his eyes. His Adam’s apple swells and plummets.

He looks at the student he’s holding off the ground and tosses him down to the pavement with a snarl, his fingers flexing at his sides, visibly restraining himself. And then he turns on a heel and scoops me up, carrying me through the thongs of gaping students toward the main building where the nurse’s office is located. No one moves, they just watch us pass. But I don’t have time to worry about their opinions or how they might bother Zach, I just lay my head on his big shoulder, confident I’m in the best care possible and let all of my concerns wash away.

“How did you know I was in the parking lot?”

His heart hammers against my ear. “When I heard the crash, I went looking for you. I just wanted to know…I got nervous. And then you weren’t in class, where you’re supposed to be.” He has to take several deep breaths before continuing. “I saw your friends and one of them said you’d run out to grab a book from her car. Everything after that is a blur. Until now.”

My pulse clamors. “Because you’re holding me?”

Several beats pass. “Yes,” he rasps, jaw tight. “Are you hurt anywhere besides your knee?”

I’m still reeling from the fact that Zach admitted holding me had such an effect on him. What does it mean? “I bumped my head, but not too hard. It’ll just be a little sore.”

“Christ. Your head?” He kicks open the front door of the main building and carries me through the opening. “It could have been worse. You’re getting checked anyway.”

“It’s really not—”

“Please don’t argue with me. I just…I really need to know you’re okay.”

I look up at him, my knight in shining armor and I’m more in love than ever. And I almost tell him, right there outside the nurse’s office, but my fear that he doesn’t feel the same keeps my lips sealed. Maybe if I’d had more courage, we could have avoided what came next.