Chapter 3

3

Jill

There are always a few flutters in my belly when I’m at Harper’s house. After all, the potential always exists for a Zach sighting. But this time? It’s different. Ringing the doorbell, I feel like I’m going to hyperventilate.

Who was that girl on the bus last night?

She was bold. She asked for what she wanted.

Maybe it had something to do with the darkness on the bus. The seclusion of the back row. Or maybe I was just mega horned up after watching Zach mow through boys half his size.

I don’t know, but I’m almost afraid I dreamed the whole thing.

All my fantasies have to be reimagined. He surpassed them all. I can still feel the taste of his kiss on my lips and I’ve been licking them all day. The size and shape of his sex is branded on my palm and those sounds he made when he came. I get goose bumps every time I think about them. How he pushed his hips up off the seat, into my grip. How he called me “baby.”

Oh God, what if he regrets it?

What if he hides out in his room all night and I’ve sprayed body mist on my underwear and bra for nothing? And if he doesn’t avoid me, what is going to happen?

What could happen?

I shocked myself last night by performing an adequate hand job. But I have no idea what is waiting on the next base or if we’re playing by the rules at all. All I know is that I am craving his closeness so badly, my throat hurts. I miss him. I always miss him, but this time it’s more intense. Acutely physical. We didn’t have time for him to touch me last night and there’s a lingering ache between my thighs that seems to pulse in his name.

Harper opens the door with a smile, but her expression quickly turns to puzzlement.

“Why are you bright pink?”

“It’s hot out here,” I say too quickly.

“It’s October,” she points out.

“Oh, just let me in,” I sniff, breezing my way into the house I’ve considered a second home since I was a kid. “I got here early, because I need to talk to you.”

“Oh yeah?” Harper closes the door behind me and we head for the kitchen, as usual, because that’s where the snacks are located. There are party sized bags of Doritos and a carton of donuts on the kitchen table, all ready for the group of five girls coming over tonight for the sleepover. “Did Miguel finally ask you to homecoming?”

“What?” I shake my head. “No. It’s about…”

I point in the general direction of Zach’s bedroom.

Harper tilts her head with interest. “What about him?”

I’m nervous now that the moment has arrived to confess what happened on the bus to Harper. But I didn’t even consider not telling her. We’re best friends. We tell each other everything and this is no exception. Also I’ve had a crush on Zach for so long that she stopped being grossed out by it a long time ago. “We kissed,” I whisper. “On the bus last night.”

Her eyes double in size. “What?” she mouths.

“I know!” I mouth back.

She falls back against the kitchen counter. “Holy shit. What now?”

“I don’t know. It was spur of the moment.” I dance nervously on the balls of my feet. “Maybe he just wants to hook up a couple of times?”

“You know I have no clue how he feels. About anything except lasagna and the Cubs. Zach is a locked safe.”

I nod. “I don’t know how he feels, either. But I wanted to make sure you knew what happened. I wouldn’t keep anything like this from you, Harps.”

“Of course you wouldn’t.” She purses her lips, a twinkle lighting in her eye. “And it’s a good thing you told me, so I can cover for you if you go sneaking around later.”

“My face is pink again, isn’t it?”

She laughs. “Magenta.”

Half and hour later, the other girls start to arrive. It’s a mixture of the cheerleading squad and Harper’s friends from the student council. There has still been no sign of Zach, but before I know it, my nerves have dissipated and we’re all sitting in a circle on the den floor gossiping, laughing, passing around chocolate. Of course, everyone is still talking about homecoming. Dinner plans, limousine seating arrangements, after parties.

I never forget that Zach is in the house, not even close, but a shock of delight still runs down my spine when I hear his footsteps creaking down the hallway. My fingers curl into the hem of my shorts and I have to work to keep my breathing even.

He barely even glances into the den when he walks by, but his gaze meets mine for a split second and I almost melt into the floor. God, I love him in those black sweatpants. That tight gray T-shirt with the faded school logo on front. All that cotton molded to his bulk like a loving second skin.

Not for the first time, I’m shocked that none of the other girls are actively drooling over him. Or craning their necks to see where he’s gone. How are they so blind to his perfection? His incredible body and impressive mind? His quiet kindness and maturity?

I stand up. “Does anyone need a soda?”

Harper looks at me knowingly. “I’m good.”

Everyone else declines, too, launching back into the discussion about eye shadow palettes and I head for the kitchen where I can hear Zach getting ice out of the refrigerator. The muscles in his back tighten when I walk inside, but he takes his time turning around. Ever since last night, I’ve been wondering if things are going to be different between us—and I can see now that they are. For one, Zach rarely lets his attention drop below my neck.

Tonight, he can’t seem to stop himself.

He sips his drink, his eyes meandering down over the front of me, cataloguing my black spandex cheerleading shorts and the pink belly T-shirt. No bra. My mother never would have let me leave the house dressed like this if she’d seen me, but she’s on shift tonight at the hospital. Maybe it is a little on the risqué side, but…I’m so scared of last night being a one-time thing and I want him to find me tempting and irresistible. Does that make me terrible? I mean, we’re going to college at the end of this year. What if he goes to some Ivy League school two thousand miles away and this is my only chance to experience him?

His voice scrapes out. “Hey Jilly Beans.”

“Hey Zach.”

That big chest of his expands. “You having fun at the sleepover?”

“Uh-huh.” I fuss with my ponytail. “I just came in here to get a soda.”

“Oh.” He ducks his head and steps away from the fridge. “Sorry, I didn’t realize I was in your way.”

“I lied,” I blurt. “I came in here to see you.”

The gutsy girl from last night is back! And not a moment too soon.

Zach tucks his tongue into his cheek to temper a smile. “Came in here to see you, too.”

My heart sprouts wings. “You did?” I breathe wistfully.

He grunts, rubs at the back of his neck.

“You keep to yourself when I’m over at your house these days,” I say, chancing a step in his direction. “You almost never come out of your room.”

He considers me with those soulful green eyes. “Come on, Jilly Beans. All those guys panting after you at school…I didn’t want you to think I was one of them. Breathing down your neck when you’re trying to hang out with my sister. You deserve a break.”

“But…what?” I jog back through everything he just said, landing on all the confusing parts. “Guys don’t pant after me.”

That earns me a rare Zach laugh. “Oh yes, they do. I’ve had to…”

“You’ve had to what?”

The tips of his ears are turning red. “It’s nothing. I just…suggested they stop talking about certain parts of your anatomy. If they want to live.”

I start to ask which parts of my anatomy they referred to, then decide I don’t want to know. Besides, I’m more interested in the fact that Zach has been defending my honor behind the scenes. Could that possibly mean anything? Or is he just being the honorable boy he’s always been? “I didn’t know you were doing that for me. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. Just…” He swallows, his gaze resting on my pebbled nipples. “Please don’t wear that to school. Or I’ll get expelled.”

“I won’t,” I whisper, his protectiveness causing heat to tickle my inner thighs. “And Zach, I like hanging out with you. A lot. You wouldn’t be breathing down my neck. How could you ever think I would put you in a category with anyone else? Let alone the guys at school.”

He doesn’t seem to know how to respond to that, just regarding me steadily.

Slowly, I walk toward him until we’re only a few inches apart.

Then I gather up my courage and smooth a hand up his chest.

Zach exhales roughly and tugs down the hem of his shirt, the way he did last night on the bus with his jersey. And with growing relief and excitement, I realize he has an erection. For me. It gives me the bravery to murmur, “Do you like hanging out with me, Zach?”

He swallows hard. “Obviously a little too much.”

I push up on my tiptoes and whisper in his ear, “Nothing little about it.”

“Jill,” he rasps, eyelids at half-mast. “God, baby. You’re making it hurt.”

“I’m sorry.” I drop back onto flat feet. “I don’t want that. I want the opposite.”

“I didn’t mean…” He shakes his head, steps toward me. “My pain isn’t your responsibility. Understand?”

“Yes.”

He drops his gaze to our feet, red riding the tips of his ears again. “But if you still want to…explore, I would be grateful to be the one who does it with you.”

I almost catapult into a back handspring. “Yes, please.”

Zach seems a little surprised by my quick agreement, but slowly recovers. “I have a few rules, though. To protect you.”

Of course he does, this knight in shining armor. “What are they?”

Those green eyes travel over my mouth and he takes a deep breath. “If you want to stop, you have to tell me. You’re a people pleaser, Jill. But I would want to die if you did anything you weren’t comfortable with, just because I’m…enjoying it.”

He whispers the word enjoying and it causes wetness to spread in my panties.

Because I remember his face when he’s enjoying something. If I could commission a painting of it, I would. I would hang it over my bed and stare at it endlessly.

“I promise. I’ll tell you if I want to stop.”

“Good.” A line forms between his dark eyebrows and he gestures between us. “Second rule. This is just our secret, okay?”

My heart sinks.

He doesn’t want people knowing he’s hooking up with the flighty, motormouth cheerleader. Is that it? I should ask him, but I’m afraid of the answer.

Besides, he doesn’t have to share his reasons with me. If he doesn’t want the school to know about our relationship, that’s his right. I guess I’m just a little surprised he would cause the little crack in my chest when he’s always been my protector.

That’s right. He has been. My one hundred percent reliable guardian. My chauffeur and friend, too. So I will give him this, no questions asked.

“Okay, Zach. Our secret.” I force myself to smile. “What is the last one?”

“I have a feeling I’m going to regret this.” His eyes close briefly. “But no sex. No…fucking. We stop before it gets that far.”

My lady parts clench in protest. “What? Why?”

His jaw flexes. “Those are the rules, Jilly Beans.” He studies my face intently, his brows going up after a moment. “Amazing. You really want to fight me on the no fucking rule?”

Jesus, Jill. He’s going to think you’re in heat. “N-no, I guess the rule is reasonable.” I shift on my bare feet. “Maybe you want to save yourself for someone you love—”

His humorless laugh cuts me off. “Wrong. I want you to save yourself for someone you love.” He adds quietly, “Okay, maybe I don’t want that. But it’s…the right thing to do.”

If there was ever a moment to tell Zach that I’ve loved him for a decade, maybe longer, this is definitely it. But what if I scare the crap out of him? What if I lose my chance to be near him at all? If he retreats from me now and goes back to hiding in his room, it’ll kill me.

Ignoring the expanding crack in my chest, I nod. “I’ll meet you at your bedroom window in five.”