5. Ryan

5

RYAN

C iel’s lips were soft, almost too soft, and his tongue slipped inside my mouth with no resistance from me. He tasted faintly sweet, like a wisp of cotton candy. And, exactly like cotton candy, the sweetness melted in my mouth and was gone before I could commit the taste to memory.

“Well?” he asked, pulling away.

My cheeks had to be bright red with the amount my face was burning. “I’m sorry, Ciel. I just don’t think we would work well together. The kissing I can handle, but it’s the other things that make me hesitant to even try experimenting. I hope we can still be friends, though.”

Ciel was obviously deflated by my reaction. “Yes, of course. I would be honored to be your friend. And, as a friend, I should leave and let you get some sleep. It’s awfully late, and I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

He rose from the couch, weightless as ever, but I remained in place, holding a pillow over my lap. He looked pointedly at the pillow, then back at my face, which was still boiling hot.

“I shall see myself out.” He turned around and glided out, his feet barely moving and his wings drooping ever so slightly.

I waited till I was certain he was gone to get up, adjusting myself before walking over to the window. My view was terrible, showing only a small portion of the street. The rest was blocked by the chipped painted-green fence that hid the apartment complex’s dumpster.

He was long gone now, but there was no denying it: Ciel intrigued me, and whether that was sexual attraction or a healthy — or unhealthy — interest in his more angelic side, it was hard to stop thinking about him long enough to even consider sleep.

My dreams were filled with Ciel. I barely knew anything about him, yet my entire night was consumed by him. My lips tingled from his lingering kiss, my heart thrummed every time I closed my eyes and imagined him back at my door waiting for me to let him in, my hands trembled at the mere thought of his fingers brushing against them and closing over them.

Whatever was happening to me, it was not what I expected. I’d never felt this way about a man before, let alone a monster. I didn’t even remember the last time I felt this way about a human woman . It had to be wrong, and based on how my cheeks burned, it must have been, but how could something I wanted so badly be anything but right?

I tried to get through the week without thinking about Ciel, but I failed miserably every single day. Every time I thought I was getting over him, I saw something that reminded me of him or heard him whispering to me in the rustle of the branches. I even went back to the library to pull my application from the matchmaking book, hoping I would get a chance to talk to the Librarian and clarify a few things.

“Ah, Mr. Adler, how lovely to see you.” Their tone was stiffer than the first time we met, and I didn’t blame them.

“Hi, Librarian. I’m just here to get rid of my application that I filled out last week.” I smiled sheepishly, shoving my hands into my pockets so I didn’t pull at my fingers and give away how nervous I was.

“No worries, let me just fetch the book of matchmaking and I’ll get right on it.” They offered a reassuring smile and I relaxed a little.

The Librarian only wanted to help, and though I’d blown up at both them and Ciel on that one fateful night, they were determined to do whatever was necessary to get me back to dating — only with the right person this time.

Before they could leave the front desk and get the book, someone approached the counter to check out a massive stack of books and movies. As I stepped aside, I could have sworn I saw the Librarian’s face fall, but they cheerfully greeted the patron and took one piece of media off the pile at a time.

When they were finally finished and sent that suspiciously ghostly-looking person on their way, they turned their attention back toward me.

“I do apologize for the interruption. I’m terribly busy these days, and sometimes I wish I had an extra pair of hands to help.”

“No problem,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t mind waiting.”

“Well, if you can wait a few more minutes, I shall get that book now.” They hurried back to the bookshelf that led to the secret room while I waited by the counter. True to their word, they appeared mere moments later with that massive, leather-bound book tucked under one arm. For such a slight little creature, their strength was impressive.

“I hope you’re not put off by the service after your first match,” they said, dropping the book on the counter with a thud .

“No, I’m not. Mistakes happen, but Ciel and I made it up later that night.” Made out was closer to the correct term, but I didn’t dare tell the Librarian that.

“Oh?” They raised their feathery auburn eyebrows at me.

“No, not like that,” I said quickly. “We just talked and decided that we could try being friends after all. Actually, we think that’s why we got matched up.”

“Yes, perhaps.” Their withering gaze told me they didn’t believe that for one second, but they weren’t going to argue and neither was I.

“Anyway, if you could just get rid of my application, that would be great. I’m going to try a less formulaic method to get some dates.”

They opened the book and pulled out the sheet of paper with my information on it along with Ciel’s application and set them both on the counter. “Well, I wish you luck with that, Mr. Adler. I shall write to Ciel and ask him if he wishes to resubmit his application in search of another match. Until then, I hope you and he become fast friends.”

I smiled. “I think we will. He’s an interesting guy, you know.”

“Yes, quite interesting indeed. It’s rare that we have an angel, fallen or otherwise, walking among us, and Ciel is the kind of angel you would want as your neighbor or friend — or lover.”

I looked away quickly. “I suppose so,” I mumbled. “I actually have an interview I need to get to soon, so I should get going.”

“Ah, you didn’t mention that earlier. Is it a job interview?”

“Yes, at a bookstore about 20 minutes from here.”

“Grigor’s Grimoires, yes? I know Grigor himself, as well as his daughter Griselda, who now runs the shop.”

I looked back at them, grateful for a change of subject. “I’m interviewing with Griselda today. Is there anything I should know?”

The Librarian smiled and shook their head. “No, she’s a rather easygoing person — quite the change of pace from her father. If you would like, I shall call and put in a good word for you.”

“Seriously? I would really appreciate that.”

“Then consider it done. And if the bookstore doesn’t work out, you might consider checking in with both the local university and museum. The university may not be looking for professors now, but putting your name in early always helps, and I read something in the newspaper about the museum opening a few highly coveted jobs this year that sound quite suited to you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for all your help, and sorry again about last week. I don’t know what got into me.”

The Librarian’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “An angel, perhaps? Ah, never mind. Have a pleasant rest of your day, Mr. Adler, and I hope to see you again soon.”

Maybe I should have been annoyed by the Librarian’s comments about me and Ciel, but I couldn’t conjure up the energy to feel even a little miffed. And as I walked to the job interview, still wishing I had a car, Ciel was the only thing on my mind. I had to talk to him again, had to see the perfect, ethereal face, even if every last bit of common sense was screaming at me to stay away until I was safely in a relationship with someone I really loved.