Chapter 1

Chapter 1

She sat slumped on the wooden bench outside of Master Derek’s office, staring at her feet and trying to pretend like she wasn’t in trouble again. It had been a long wait, and she was bored with nothing to do but try not to think about it. Master Derek was having a meeting of some kind and Erika had just shaken her head and pointed to the bench without comment.

It had become a habit recently. His assistant was probably getting tired of seeing her there. Master Derek was probably getting tired of it too.

A few minutes later the door to his office opened and there was the sound of conversation as people came out. She snuck a quick look. There was a couple paused in the doorway, still talking to Master Derek, but she didn’t recognize them. They were probably guests, which was somehow more embarrassing than anyone else who might have seen her sitting there.

Maybe if she was lucky, he wouldn’t notice her waiting until they’d gone. Then they’d never need to know she was in t-r-o-u-b-l-e.

Her gaze dropped back to the floor as she tried to be invisible. It didn’t work and suddenly there was a long sigh. That she did recognize because she’d gotten to hear it a number of times recently, usually directed at her.

“Heaven Leigh… again? What is this, the third time this week?”

Maybe his vision is based on movement and if I stay still, he won’t see me.

“Heaven Leigh, I’m talking to you, young lady. I expect to see your face when you answer me.” He was using that tone. The one that said she was in big trouble, and she better not make it worse.

So much for being invisible. She forced her eyes up to meet his and gave him a nervous half-grin. “Uh, hello, Sir. Fancy meeting you here.”

One of his visitors laughed. He turned to Derek saying, “We’ll get out of your hair. It looks like you have something to deal with, but thank you for the personal touch. My wife and I have been looking forward to this trip for months.”

Master Derek fixed her with a foreboding look and then turned back to give them his attention as they finished up and said their goodbyes. Once they had gone, he turned back to Heaven, giving her a long stare. “All right, young lady. In here right now.” His tone strongly suggested that stalling would be a mistake.

Heaven hurried to her feet and followed him back into the office. She stood in front of his desk and fiddled with her uniform, tugging the shirt straight with sharp, nervous gestures while he took a seat and regarded her.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” she said finally.

“Are you? That seems unlikely, Heaven Leigh. If you were sorry, you wouldn’t be in here almost every day.”

That was the thing though. She was sorry. She just… didn’t feel like she had any other options in front of her.

He jerked his chin toward a guest chair. “Sit.”

She sat, carefully perched on the edge of the large leather chair as if ready to take flight. Her bottom was already tingling, and she could almost imagine the sting she’d be feeling soon.

“What rule did you break today?”

“Um, I left the Littles’ Wing without permission.”

“And what rule did you break on Tuesday?”

“I… left the Littles’ Wing without permission.”

“And last week?”

Heaven sighed. “Same thing, Sir.”

“Right. So you can see why it’s hard to believe you’re actually sorry.”

She rolled her bottom lip under and gnawed on it as she considered how to respond. The facts were plain, and she couldn’t argue them. “I just… I’m not trying to get in trouble on purpose. I know it probably seems like I’m just being a brat to get punishment, but that’s not it.”

He leaned back in his chair, folding his hands as he looked at her. “Oddly enough I do believe that, but according to Einstein, the definition of insanity is to keep trying the same thing over and over while expecting different results. So, today we’re going to try something different.”

Her eyes widened. “Different? Does that mean I’m not going to get punished?” There was a hopeful note in her voice.

Master Derek chuckled. “Oh no, you’re definitely getting punished. In fact, I think we’ll be adding on some extra punishment—but first we’re going to talk.”

She hadn’t really thought she’d be getting out of punishment, but there was always hope. “Yes, Sir.”

“Heaven Leigh, when you arrived almost two months ago you were positive that you were a Little and that you needed to completely submerge yourself in being a Little. You wanted a chance at a real childhood since you never really had one. Is that correct?”

Of course it was. Master Derek had a nice thick file on her with all the little details of her life. He’d shown it to her on the day she’d arrived and there were things in it that even she’d forgotten. The man was nothing if not thorough.

“Yes, Sir.”

“And has that changed? Do you still feel that way?”

She nodded so enthusiastically that her strawberry blonde braids bounced on her shoulders. If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that she needed the childlike headspace and the chance to let go of all the adult worries and fears.

“So what is the problem? I could understand if you were doing it for punishment. Some Littles have more of a need for that than others, but that doesn’t seem to be the case for you. Which means… there must be a different problem.”

Heaven drew in a deep breath and held it for a second before letting it out in a whoosh. It helped when she got anxious. “I just get so antsy. The rules, especially the one about not being allowed to go wherever I want, make me feel trapped. I try to ignore it and push it down, but the next thing I know I’m… here.”

Master Derek looked at her thoughtfully. “What would be the ideal situation for you, Heaven Leigh?”

She winced as he used her full first name again. Lots of people did, but from him it always felt like trouble. At least he pronounced the second part like “lay” and not “lee”. She’d only had to correct him once and he’d remembered.

“I guess… more freedom? I know most of the Littles are happy to be kids all the time, but I’m just not. I need the Little time badly, but I can’t handle it all the time. Maybe it’s because, like you said, I never really had a childhood.”

She stopped, thinking about how to phrase it. It was so hard putting this into words. “I would steal a few minutes whenever I could while the younger kids were sleeping or while my parents were busy. I packed all the fun into those little bursts and then had to go right back to being an adult in a small body. I—”

Heaven shrugged her shoulders. “I really just don’t know how to handle having no adult time, no adult responsibilities, no… work. I’m frustrated and bored.”

Master Derek nodded like he was actually listening. Maybe he even understood because he was quiet for a minute or so. “You know, we’re not really set up for part-time Littles here, Heaven Leigh. We do our best to keep our Littles safe and that means keeping them supervised. We have the rules we do because they’re necessary.” His tone was firm, but regretful.

Heaven held back a sigh. “We’re not really little kids. Every single one of us is an adult, and I just… I don’t get why we can’t have more freedom.”

“I know it can be difficult to understand, and you’re right, Littles aren’t children. They are adults who are choosing to live a life where they have rules and protection, but for many, Little headspace can be…” He stopped, obviously weighing his words carefully.

“When someone is deep in a childlike headspace it’s very easy to make bad decisions. They have fewer inhibitions. Caution and safety are not exactly the first things on their mind. Aside from that, the rules and structure that limits their freedom and behavior, is part of the whole experience. It wouldn’t feel like a real childhood without rules. Now, would it?”

He had a point. She knew all of that, but it was just leading up to him putting her back in the same place again. “This sucks.”

Out of frustration, she kicked the leg of his desk hard and then winced. Her sturdy uniform shoe hadn’t quite protected her toes from the painful jarring. “Ouch!”

His eyebrow went right up, and he frowned. “That would be an example of throwing caution out the window and making a bad decision, young lady.”

She looked down quickly. “Sorry, Sir. I just… I do like the structure and sometimes the rules help me feel safe and cared for. It’s part of what I love about being a Little. It’s just that when I’m not feeling like a Little they are confining.”

“I absolutely understand. The problem is we can’t have Littles wandering around unsupervised. They’d end up causing mischief and getting into trouble left and right. It’s not like there’s a sign over your head to let everyone know when you’re feeling like a Big girl.”

It was like she’d thought all along. As much as she’d wanted to fit in here, as usual she was going to be a square peg trying to stuff herself into a round hole. Eventually they’d get tired of the rule breaking and send her away.

She was sinking deep into dark thoughts and almost missed what he said. Her head shot up. “Sorry, what did you say?”

“I said… it’s pretty clear what the solution is here,” he repeated.

Heaven blinked twice. “It is?”

“Yes. We’re going to have to find you a Daddy of your own. While we’re not really able to create a unique situation for you that bends all the rules, your own Daddy would be able to work with you to make things fit.”

Heaven sat back in her seat and stared at him for a long moment. Her own Daddy? She’d never really considered that. Part of her hadn’t really thought that anyone would want to take responsibility for her and the dorm situation with the various adults had always been ideal in other ways.

It helped that she was paying to be here, so she didn’t feel like a burden. Not that they were charging her. When she first made arrangements to come and stay, she’d tried to pay them and been denied. “Littles don’t pay to live here,” she was told.

But she didn’t feel comfortable having people do all the work of bossing her around without putting something into it. They’d been able to meet in the middle with a hefty donation. It eased her worries and would be used to fund the stays of other Littles.

She’d paid it gladly. Money was the one thing she had more than enough of now and she wasn’t doing anything else with it. So she’d settled into the Littles’ Wing and made friends. She enjoyed the playground and other unique facilities that were built for adult bodies. The thought of having to leave all of that was painful.

“Would I get to stay here if I had my own Daddy?”

“If your Daddy was part of the Ranch, you would. Not in the dorms of course. You’d live with him, but you’d be welcome to use the facilities the same as always. Would you like me to try to find you someone who lives on the premises?”

Master Derek and his wife Sadie were known for being matchmakers. They had a real knack for it, and she’d heard many stories of successful relationships that they’d instigated. And the Littles who had their own caregivers did seem to have more freedom, at least when their own Mommies and Daddies allowed them to. Was there a chance it might solve all her problems?

Was there a Daddy around who would even want her? She wasn’t as much fun as her friends. They seemed to fall into their roles so easily, and once they did, it was like the adult world just washed away. They told tales of pranks and mischief that she could never imagine participating in.

No Daddy was going to want someone who was all over the place and riddled with insecurities and doubt. She wasn’t high-spirited and fun. She was just… Heaven Leigh. And then even if—

“Heaven Leigh.” The sternness in Master Derek’s voice caught her attention and pulled her out of the spiral.

“Y-yes, Sir?”

He pushed a box of tissue across the desk. ‘Your lip is bleeding.”

She had a tendency to gnaw on it when she was anxious, but she hadn’t realized she’d bitten so hard. Her cheeks flushed as she snatched a tissue from the box and pressed it to her mouth. “Sorry, Sir.”

“Unless you object, I’m going to start thinking about a good match for you. I think that’s the best way to give you the flexible structure you need. Is that acceptable to you?”

After a long hesitation she nodded, just once. The idea was scary, but he was right. And if no one wanted her, she wouldn’t be in a worse situation than she was now.

“Excellent.” He reached into a drawer in his desk and pulled out a notepad. With a decisive hand he began making a few notes.

She assumed they were about her, and as tempted as she was to lean forward and try to read the upside-down writing, she decided that was her cue to leave. With any luck she’d be gone before he even thought about punishment.

She was halfway to the door when he cleared his throat. That stopped her in her tracks, and she froze. Icy fingers of dread crept down her back and her stomach clenched as she turned around.

“Did I say you could leave?”

“No, Sir… but you seemed busy, so I thought I’d taken enough of your time for today.” It wasn’t even a lie. She felt bad about being such a bother. Master Derek was a very busy man.

“Well, you’re about to take up some more, because we still have a punishment to take care of.” He stood up and began rolling up his sleeves. “Do you remember what I told you the other day when you were in here?”

Heaven gulped. She did remember, vividly. “You, um—you said next time you weren’t going to be so nice.” Of course, she hadn’t thought he was very nice last time either.

“Right.” He went over to the large implement cabinet in the corner, rummaging around inside. When he turned back, he was holding an oval paddle with the ranch name and logo burned into the surface.

It was thick enough to make her eyes widen. The muscles in her bottom tensed nervously and she swallowed hard. “I-I don’t think you need to be that mean, honestly,” she assured him.

“I think I do. But don’t worry, I’ll be starting off with my hand. The paddle can wait until you’ve been properly reddened.” He was giving the impression that this wasn’t going to be a quick spanking.

He didn’t return to his desk but moved to the armless chair he kept for this purpose. Her eyes followed him but without making a conscious decision, she’d taken a step backward.

“Heaven Leigh, don’t even think about it.” There was iron in the warning, and she stopped.

He took a seat and pointed at the floor in front of him. “Here. Right now, and if you make me chase you, I guarantee you won’t sit for a week. I’ll have you in here every morning for a touch-up reminder.”

There was absolutely no doubt he meant exactly what he said. He’d always been stern, but there was usually more patience, which made her wonder if he really was tired of correcting her for the same issue. She didn’t know any other Littles who’d been punished so many times by him in a week.

Most didn’t get punished by him at all, since the Littles’ Wing had its own adults to handle the basic corrections. Between Nanny J and all the teachers, it was rare that Master Derek had to step in. Of course, her naughtiness hadn’t been confined to the Littles’ Wing and that was the problem.

She moved across the floor, dragging her feet and taking as long as possible to get to him. “I’m really sorry, Master Derek. I promise. Really really sorry.” Her Little side was showing. Being in trouble always did that to her.

“I believe you, but that doesn’t change the consequences of breaking the rules. I’m hoping we can soon get you sorted out. I have some ideas that I hope will help while we look for a Daddy for you, but in the meantime, the rules are still the rules, young lady.”

He patted his thigh. “Let’s get started.”

With great reluctance, she lowered herself across his lap, squirming a little to get comfortable. Her uniform skirt slid up the back of her thighs, leaving them bare and she couldn’t help reaching back to tug it down—a pointless endeavor really.

Sure enough he pushed her hand away and flipped the skirt up onto her back. Her panties stayed in place, and it wasn’t until she heard a snort of amusement that she remembered she’d put on the cute day of the week panties.

“You are aware that it’s Friday, Heaven Leigh, and not Monday?”

Talk about embarrassing. She sighed. “I know, but Monday is my favorite day so I… only wear the Monday ones.” She probably had five or six different styles of Monday panties, so it was a surprise he hadn’t seen her in the wrong day before, but maybe he just hadn’t noticed.

“Monday is your favorite?” The surprise was obvious. “I have to admit I’ve never heard that before.”

There was a story behind it, as there was behind all of her weird quirks. How could she explain to him that growing up, Monday was always a relief from Sunday’s oppressive rituals. It meant having a little more freedom. It meant not being judged and watched every moment of the day.

“Monday is my happy day,” she said finally and left it at that.

“Well, sadly for you, it’s not Monday,” Master Derek said as his hand swept down in a firm spank across the back of her panties.

They were thin cotton and did very little to pad her rump. Still the “Ouch!” was probably overly dramatic.

At first.