6. Heath

Chapter 6

Heath

“ A re you planning on helping me today or what?” Dante barks at me as he loads more boxes on the handcart, and I shove my phone in my pocket.

“Sorry, sorry. I just got carried away. Lost track of time.”

Rushing out behind him, I help load the boxes of llama product into the delivery van. His llama-based business has grown so much he hires people to deliver the product now instead of doing it himself like he used to.

“How much would a tattoo cost?”

Dante wipes his forehead with his arm, and I follow the flex of one of his tattoos. I’ve always liked his art. It’s so damn sexy.

“Well…kind of depends on how big, if it’s colour or black. Is it intricate or not? Lots of factors.” He walks back to the storeroom and I follow along at his heels.

“I might get one.”

He snorts a laugh and raises an eyebrow. “You? Golden boy with a tattoo?”

“What? I can get a tattoo. Why do you say that?”

He hefts a few boxes onto the cart and I’m no stranger to hard work here on the ranch, but Dante is all sinewy, compact muscle. I’m fit, but not as chiselled as he is. When he works, everything is on display and it’s hard not to notice. Especially when he takes his shirt off and you see the whole chest piece he has.

With his olive skin tone and physique, he really is a walking canvas for skin art.

Dante leans on the cart handle and furrows his brows.

“What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing! I swear! Why are you asking?”

He glances at his phone and tilts his head to follow him. Leaving my work gloves behind, I follow him outside, where he leans against the pasture fence.

“Listen, Heath. I’m just gonna come right out and say it. It’s probably rude, but I love you like a brother and you’ve been acting weird. So here goes.” He mumbles under his breath before exhaling a heavy sigh. “Are you attracted to me?”

My mouth hangs open as Dante waits for a reply.

“No?”

I mean, I find him attractive. I admire him physically, but I’m not attracted to him. Not like what I think he’s implying. Pretty sure.

“That’s not very convincing.”

“I mean, you are attractive but like…I just admire you physically and I’ve really noticed your ink. It’s hot.”

Dante closes his eyes and huffs a breath. “Heath…” He turns to me with a shake of his head. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”

“How come I can’t say your tattoos are hot?”

“You can. It’s just…you’ve been a little off ever since we had you over for dinner. You took off when you saw me and Colby kissing. You work with a bunch of gay or bi men, so I didn’t think that bothered you. Now you’re kind of always checking me out, and I’m not sure if you know you’re doing it. But if something has changed—”

“Nothing changed! I just like tattoos. I think.” Pulling out my phone, I bring up the website I was on that had me distracted earlier and show him. “I’ve been thinking of getting a tattoo and this site is full of tattoo models. Did you know that was a thing? Anyway, I like these two guys the most.” I turn the phone to Dante. “See that guy? His arm is all flexed, and the dragon goes up the side. It’s damn fine and his abs are…chef’s kiss.”

Dante stares blankly at me before taking the phone. “I can see why you think that,” he says slowly as he flips through the ones I marked as favourites. “This guy is rocking the full sleeve well. Epic muscles too. I bet he works out.”

“Right!? I really like him.”

He hands me back my phone and runs a hand through his hair. “You really like him, or do you really like his ink?”

My brow scrunches as I stare at the images on my phone.

“Um, his ink?”

Pretty sure. I mean, yeah, he’s ripped and has amazing arms, but… I don’t obsess over the guy. Okay, maybe a little since I bookmarked his page, but it’s nothing weird.

“Are you sure there’s nothing you need to talk about?”

Why does everyone keep asking me that?

“Well, I have a new friend? We had lunch this week. My car is still running and Jeff still hates it when he’s not within six feet of me. And he broke the chicken coop again. Other than that…nothing new. ”

Dante finally smiles and playfully punches my shoulder. “Just know I’m here. And that peacock is…damn lucky he found you. I’m sure nobody else would be as patient with him.”

“He’s a good bird. He’s just misunderstood and lonely.”

But Dante is already out of hearing range and I shove my phone in my pocket.

It’s easy to be lonely when there’s no one else quite like you around. I provide Jeff comfort and sure, he’s a peacock, but every creature needs a little understanding.

Speaking of the peacock, Jeff strolls around the corner of the barn with purpose and stops when he notices me.

“Hey, buddy. You gonna be a good bird and stay in your pen tomorrow? I’ll be out for most of the day.”

He bops his head and comes closer.

Stroking a finger down his head, I smile when he chirps and fans his tail feathers for me. “I know, buddy. I like you too. But I’m not going anywhere. It’s you and me, okay?” His feathers ruffle and he struts around for a few steps before dropping his feathers back to trail behind him. At first, I didn’t know what to do with this bird when he came here. He was always escaping pens and a general pain in the ass, causing trouble wherever he went. But he seemed to like me, so I tolerated a lot of his shenanigans.

Even birds need friends.

He follows me into the barn this time, and I continue to help Dante loading the van. When we’re done, he heads home to Colby and with Jeff trailing behind me, I follow the smell of grilled meat over to Alec and Zane’s house.

“Hey guys! Mind if I join you?”

Zane swivels his head away from the BBQ and smiles .

“Hey, Heath. Nah. Come on over. I can throw an extra steak on. Or would you prefer chicken?”

“Oh, whatever is easier for you. Thanks!”

Zane disappears back into the house, and I take the steps up the porch and settle into a deck chair. Jeff wanders off into the meadow behind the house, exploring. The back door slides open and closed and when I turn my head, Alec carries three drinks and joins me at the patio table.

“Hi, Heath. How have things been? Where’s the bird?”

Zane appears again, chuckling by the BBQ as he tosses more food on. If it was anyone else’s place, I’d feel bad about just showing up, but Zane loves to cook and entertain and Alec has not once turned me away when I needed help with anything. Alec is very dad-like, much like Dan, while Zane is more of a big brother. I love them both like family and I don’t doubt for a minute that they don’t love me either.

“Jeff is out back.” I tilt my chin to the meadow and crack the beer Alec hands me. “I smelled the grill and wandered over instead of hanging by myself and a cup of soup.”

Alec smiles warmly, the crinkles around his eyes only making him more welcoming.

“We never mind you here. As long as you knock on the main door before coming in.”

We both laugh because I learned that rule the hard way when I interrupted their morning routine. I’m not keen on seeing two of my closest friends in that position again anytime soon.

Zane pulls out a chair between Alec and me. Alec hands him a beer with a murmur and presses a kiss to his temple. Zane turns to kiss him softly and just like with Colby and Dante, I look away. Not uncomfortable with their affection at all. Quite the opposite. I’m in awe of their love, but that weird ache comes back whenever I see my friends in these tender moments.

My hand rubs at my chest, and I watch Jeff duck around some dandelions.

“What have you been up to, Heath? I heard you had some issues with the bylaw guy last week.”

With a snort, I roll my eyes. “He’s such a jackass. There was no way I was going to take down the tent. Clearly, he doesn’t have animals.”

“Dan said you met the new tattoo shop owner. How’d that go?” Alec settles back in his chair and my stomach flutters when I think about Marko.

Okay, that’s different.

“Good. He’s really nice. He’s from Croatia and we had lunch this week. I’m taking him out to the brewery’s gardens tomorrow.”

Zane raises an eyebrow. “Is he into gardens?”

“Sort of? He said he misses the lavender fields back home, and I told him about Jake’s garden and then I guess I just invited him.”

“That’s nice of you to do.” Alec sips his drink as Zane moves to check on the food. “You must have really clicked to invite him to a garden.”

We did. He makes me laugh and I love his smile. That’s not a lie.

“I never thought of it like that. He just mentioned missing the lavender, and it was out of my mouth before I could think anything else of it. But he really is a nice guy. He brought Jeff a cup of water when he introduced himself.”

Alec smiles again, but he cocks his head and those blue eyes see right into my thoughts .

“Sounds like he already knows the way to your good side. Did you appreciate him thinking of Jeff like that?”

“Of course I did. It was very…” I think back to last week when Marko had that crooked smile and offered the water to Jeff. “He’s very kind.”

Alec lets his gaze roam to Jeff in the field and we watch him in companionable silence. It’s the thing I like best about Alec. His presence is comforting without words. The clatter of plates behind us sounds and Alec excuses himself to help Zane, encouraging me to stay put.

With the comforting sound of them plating our dinner behind us, I stare out into the meadow behind Alec’s house. Jeff still roams through the tall grass and occasionally snaps at a bug as the sun dips behind the trees.

I’ve loved the peace of the ranch since I arrived here almost ten years ago. There’s so much this place gives me. A found family. The responsibility of caring for animals that I love and, most importantly, a purpose. Without a father and my mother losing herself to drugs when I was young, I was on a path to self-destruction with the wrong people. But the universe must have had plans for me because they put me in front of a judge who was lenient. I served my time in juvenile detention and then I found Dan.

From Dan, I learned how to save money, care for animals and be a part of something. I was now one of the faces of the ranch with all the other guys. I loved them. Even Martin, who still sometimes gives me a stink eye when I park my rusty car in front of the main ranch house.

But there’s one thing I still don’t have .

Zane and Alec return, placing mountains of grilled food on the patio table and moving together with a practiced ease. With the same love and care I see in every single one of the partnerships here. And the ache blooms more when it finally hits me.

I want to be in love.

I want dinner with someone who kisses my temple at dinner and cuddles on the couch with me to watch movies. Someone to watch Jeff play in the long grass with me. A person who accepts my quirks and odd pets without judgement.

“Hey. You okay?”

Zane’s hand on my arm draws me from my thoughts. “Yeah. I was just thinking about stuff.” Picking up my utensils, I smile at Zane. “Mostly about eating,” I lie. “This smells great. Thanks for feeding me again.”

“Anytime. You know that.”

By the time I finish dinner and corral Jeff, I’m tired. But it’s a good tired. It’s barely 10 P.M. and I’m not quite ready to sleep. There’s an odd restlessness in my entire body. Picking up my phone, intending to play a game until I fall asleep, I open my messages instead.

I wonder if Marko is awake?