15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen

Cormac

T his was my first hockey game of the season, which I always enjoyed. However, what made tonight even better was the fact that I was going with Felix. He’d been calling it our date all week, but I hadn’t summoned the nerve to ask him if we were still faking things or not.

One tiny question, but if he said this wasn’t real—that he was just having fun—I didn’t think I’d survive the fallout.

The way our families and lives blended together was nothing short of a dream, but sometimes I got this sense of hesitation like he still held back. Maybe it was because he’d just come out of a yearlong relationship over a month ago. He was newly bi, which always made me cautious, but I still couldn’t get over the ease that existed with him.

I’d never experienced it. After feeling invisible or like the second choice for so long, I wasn’t used to Felix’s attention. It lit me up. When he looked at me, he didn’t see a role or a means to an end. No, he saw all of me, and it was a little terrifying.

“Wells Fargo Center is packed tonight,” Felix said as I drove us around the full lot.

“Clearly, everyone had the same idea we did.” I slipped into the first open spot.

Felix scoffed. “How dare they.”

We got out of my car and into the brisk autumn air. This time of year, the nights were a bit more bracing, but I used the excuse to sidle closer to him. He wore the orange, black, and white jersey, and with his black curls tamed and thick black glasses on instead of contacts, he looked so hot I had been distracted the whole drive. Something about him had drawn me in from the start, this air of snarkiness and self-reliance I adored.

I’d been to a ton of games, but never with a boyfriend. Mostly because I’d only had a few long-term relationships amid a spell of shorter ones or had periods of not dating at all. Usually, Rory or Ollie joined me; Ais and Declan weren’t into sports. Except I wasn’t going with a boyfriend. Technically.

I swallowed back that thought and nudged my hand against Felix’s. He took the bait, like I’d hoped, and threaded our fingers together. The second we entered the stadium, the sounds and scents washed over me. A crispness lingered in the air from the ice, and the steady thrum of so many people congregated in one place formed an energy that was impossible to replicate.

“Did I tell you,” Felix said, “that my bosses mentioned the promotion I’ve been aiming for is opening for candidates in a few weeks, and they want me to apply.” He rocked back and forth on his heels while we waited in line for security. “Apparently, Carly put in a good word.”

I snorted. “Thank fuck she missed our makeout session among the antiquities.”

We got through security with ease and turned right, in the direction of our seats. Not that they were any good, but I didn’t need that to enjoy the game, not when I was with Felix. Just getting to be here with him under the bright dome lights, feeling like this was real, was all I could’ve hoped for. The only thing that would make this better was if this wasn’t just the first but the first of many times coming here together.

“You’re aware we’re probably in for a loss, right?” Felix said as we followed the rest of the folks heading to their seats. “The boys have been playing like hot garbage.”

“Quiet, you’re cursing the game.” I swung our entwined hands. “This is home ice. We’ve got the advantage.”

Felix laughed. “ Que ridiculo ! Don’t tell me you’re superstitious.”

My lips quirked. “Once in a while.” I loved the Spanish he’d slip into regular conversations. Hell, I was pretty much obsessed with every damn thing about this man from the old game collection at his house he haphazardly hid to how he’d fought tooth and nail to be self-reliant, even with the way his brother and parents worried. I loved being here with him. I was floating so high I didn’t ever want to come back down.

And bit by bit, I was convincing myself this was the real deal. That he wasn’t just experimenting or taking a dip in the water.

Maybe it was how he didn’t hesitate to hold my hand in public. Or the kiss he’d planted on my cheek at Marco’s that had been a far cry from driven-by-lust territory. Or the way we’d started to barely go a few days without seeing each other.

All these were doing hazardous things to my heart, and I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life any longer.

We found our seats in the nosebleeds and plunked down into them. The game would be starting any minute.

Felix craned forward, pointing at the ice. “How far of a jump do you figure that is?”

My brows drew together. “For who? Superman?”

“Superman doesn’t need to jump. He can fly,” Felix responded. “God, if you don’t know that, I don’t think we can keep fake dating, Cor.”

His words were teasing, but the qualifier in front of them had my heart clenching tight. Fake. That was what this was.

When I looked up at him, his dark eyes grew a little more serious, and he opened his mouth, tilting forward slightly.

The announcer blared over the speakers.

Felix leaned back, and I didn’t want to push my luck by asking what he’d been about to say. Part of me wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

The players assembled on the ice, and everyone around us sank into the moment as the game began.

“I need beer to get through the rest of this.” Felix scrubbed at his face.

I let out a groan and sank back in my seat. He wasn’t wrong. The Flyers weren’t playing their best tonight, and we were already to the first intermission. Maybe we had cursed them earlier. “Yeah, a beer couldn’t hurt.” I pushed out of my seat and waited for Felix to extricate himself.

He hopped up with ease and slipped his hand in mine again. The constant contact was making me insane, but I also didn’t want it to stop. Even with the blip of awkwardness after his earlier comment about fake dating, the rest of the first period, we’d returned to our normal back-and-forth. I’d never found the comfort that I did with him even in most of my friendships. That tug in my chest pulled a little tighter with a sense of yearning I’d never quite escaped.

We wove our way through the crowds to the food hall, where already plenty of lines had formed.

“If I’m going to be drinking overpriced beer, I’m going to splurge for craft, not piss water.” Felix steered us toward one of the stands.

I shrugged. “I’ll drink whatever.”

His lips curled into a smirk. “I know you will.”

Fuuuuck. Heat rolled through me in one fierce sweep, and he squeezed my hand for emphasis. This man would be the death of me, and he probably wasn’t even aware of it. I’d been told that with my quietness, I was hard to read, but Felix seemed to pick up a lot of cues other people didn’t.

“But seriously, if they just passed the puck a little more, we wouldn’t be in this position,” Felix muttered. I hummed my agreement. During the game, we broke down every pass and goal, and I’d never had this much fun. It was the same way we both got with historical swords—a little obsessive—and I loved that he matched my energy.

“A Prima Pils and a Blue Moon,” Felix ordered. I hadn’t even realized we’d reached the front of the line. Before I figured out what he was up to, Felix handed over the cash, and the guy cracked open two bottles.

Felix passed me the Blue Moon. “Since you hate hops,” he teased.

My heart squeezed tight. The little details he noticed lit me up inside. So different from boyfriends I’d been with for months who couldn’t even say how many siblings I had, let alone what beer I liked to drink. “Thanks.”

I took a sip, and the crisp liquid coursed down my throat with a shiver. The beer at games might be overpriced as fuck, but nothing beat having one while enjoying the game. The crowd was energetic as hell tonight with the home game, and even with the Flyers starting slow, win or lose, we’d all be in it together. That sense of camaraderie was something I loved about the games, but it hit even deeper with Felix by my side.

Because that was what had been missing from my relationships. There had been attraction but not this level of comfort. With Felix…I had everything. And if this was a passing exploration for him, I wasn’t sure how I’d find this sort of magic again.

“Want to head back to the seats?” Felix clinked his bottle against mine. He tipped the long neck back, and when he swallowed, his lips were glossy. The temptation to just lean in and kiss him again rose fiercely, but I still wasn’t sure where the lines were.

I wanted him to be mine in the worst way.

“Yeah, let’s go,” I said, taking the first strides forward. “Also, don’t suppose you happen to be free tomorrow? My entire family’s demanded you come around again to another Brannon dinner.”

Felix snorted. “And miss out on those hijinks? No goddamn way.”

I hadn’t taken another step forward when I caught sight of someone too familiar. My stomach dropped.

Goddamnit. Luke.

I grabbed Felix’s hand and tried to lose myself in the crowd before he spotted us, but his gaze landed on mine. A second later, Luke strode in our direction. He’d still been sending the occasional text, which meant his dates probably weren’t sticking, and Felix’s comments about telling him to fuck off circled in my brain. I didn’t speak up enough—not with Luke, not with my family. If I did, Dad would’ve retired a few years ago. At least I’d quit responding to Luke, which was a start.

“I’ve missed talking to you, Cor.” Luke stopped right in front of me. He didn’t acknowledge Felix, even though we were holding hands.

“We’ve been broken up for a while.” I kept my voice low, everything in me ready to bolt. I hated scenes, and Luke was the type to make them. How I’d even fallen into that relationship in the first place had just been testament to how lonely I’d gotten.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t still be friendly,” Luke said, giving me a slow up and down scan. “I enjoy your company.”

I didn’t enjoy his. Not the persistence or the pushiness or the clinginess.

I bit the inside of my cheek. How could I politely tell him to fuck off?

“Sorry.” Felix squeezed my hand. “He’s too busy enjoying my company.”

“Ah, the possessive type?” Luke said with a sneer. Fuck, the more he spoke, the uglier he got. Before I could say anything, Felix jumped in again.

“Nah, just honest.” Felix might be half the size of Luke, but he was more ferocious by a long shot. “If you had some deep friendship worth keeping, you’d still be around. But you were a flash-in-the-pan relationship, and you need to move the fuck on.”

Luke’s shoulders tensed, and I stepped forward, even though my fingers were still tangled with Felix’s.

“Excuse me, but this was between me and Cor, not you,” Luke said.

Fuck this.

“Lose my number, Luke,” I said, unable to hide the weariness from my tone. He wasn’t worth getting angry over, but I refused to sit back while he talked to Felix that way. “We didn’t work, and we’re never going to work. I’ve found my guy. It was never going to be you.”

Luke’s brows drew together, and my body buzzed as I braced myself for him to lash out. Except then he just let out a low noise and pivoted on his heel. A moment later, he was disappearing into the crowd.

What the fuck? He’d left without pushback. Felix had been right. I should’ve stood up to him ages ago.

The reality descended onto me like a pile of bricks. Part of me had always known I’d been passive about a lot—easiest to do when you were the middle child—but maybe I did need to start speaking up more.

“Fuck, that was hot,” Felix whispered in my ear, his breath warming my cheek.

“Seeing my ex does it for you?” I teased, arching a brow.

He nipped my ear. Lust shot through me in a fierce, quick wave.

“Seeing you put him in his place did.” Felix’s voice was pure sin, all silk, and my pants got a little tight with the way my cock was waking up. “Want to go find a bathroom?”

Adrenaline shot through me. My cock went from a semi to full mast. I’d never dipped my toes into exhibitionism much, but so far, the times with Felix had been eye opening. I’d never realized what an instant turn-on I’d find it. And the idea of him bending me over in a bathroom stall while the game went on around us?

Oh, fuck yes.

I grabbed his hand and already took the first steps forward. “Follow me.”