Chapter 27

Lainey

Being banned from the OR was torture. For the next week, I was plagued by back-to-back Zoom interviews with various media personalities. Any time I thought the meetings were drying up, my mother’s team hit me with another wave of calendar invites, another angle to discuss, another topic to comment on to bring myself, and the foundation, into the national spotlight.

The only good thing about the clinical hiatus was the copious amount of free time I had on my hands. Plenty of opportunities to hang around with a certain someone who I felt needed a bit more of my attention than I’d been giving.

I kept a wary eye on Sam whenever we were together, still shamed by how thoughtlessly I’d disregarded him when everything with the video had gone down. No matter how much I looked, I couldn’t find any trace of ill feelings from him. Sam was his usual self: quiet, content, cuddly.

Initially, I came up with excuses to see him. The WiFi was better at his house, so could I do my interviews from his home office during the day? On my way back from a downtown broadcast studio, I was starving and happened to pass by his favorite pizza place. Did he want to split one? After a few days, I realized he didn’t need my excuses, so I stopped giving them.

He was always just happy to be with me, no matter what we did or how I ended up at his place. Somehow, this just sank the guilt-knife deeper. Despite our power dynamic on paper, Sam had let me call the shots on us since day one.

When I wasn’t ready to date, we trialed. Before I’d said something, he hadn’t texted me until I initiated. When I told him I needed space, I got it.

It was all a humbling reminder: it wasn’t just me I had to think about anymore. Sam might let me set the pace, but he was an equal partner in this relationship. Thank God he hadn’t been shy about telling me when he had a problem. It was nice to know that he wouldn’t allow me to exploit his kindness, but I had to meet him halfway. As we spent more time together the following week, I made a promise to myself not to take him for granted.

His porch became my home base, and we lingered there as often as we could, chatting with Jas and Conner, or cozying up with some wine after dinner. Tess came over for a girls' night take two, where we consumed almost as much wine as our first girls' outing.

I didn’t remember how I’d filled my days before I had Sam and his family and Tess and Rija around. They rallied around me. Rija cussed up a storm when she recounted just how many surgeries Jones was leading. She assured me that the nursing staff had planned a revolt.

As the week wore on and the hype around the Dancing Doctors dissolved, we grew more confident that the viral video storm was blowing over. The PR teams were grasping at straws for interviews now, and those Zoom meetings were getting fewer and fewer. Sam even drove me to the gym the next Thursday night for a class, going out of his way to park in the exact spot my car had been parked that first night he’d put his mouth on me. Cheeky.

I was so busy teasing him about it I didn’t pay enough attention when I walked into the gym and almost smacked right into Katie McDaniels. Only Sam’s arm around my middle stopped me from falling. He pulled me against him to steady me, letting go the second he registered who stood in front of us.

“Oh.” Katie stared. We stared back, Sam’s body radiating heat behind me. “I should have asked the name of your brother’s gym, so this didn’t happen.” She lowered her voice. “I swear, I just looked up gyms around here, and this one had good reviews. One of them said sometimes there’s kickboxing here. And that the owner will modify workouts for….” She trailed off, her fingers grazing her belly.

“Um. Mrs. McDaniels?” Will held out a credit card and a receipt, quirking his brow at us.

“It’s Doctor McDaniels.” Jasmine waddled from the back office. She and Will exchanged a look. In an instant, his features flattened. His charming customer-service smile disappeared. Jasmine leaned against the desk. “Good to see you again, doctor.” Jas’s smile conveyed only the bare minimum level of politeness.

Katie flushed as she glanced between all the Reeses, who were doing a heck of a job icing her out. Even Sam stood rigid, his usually easy going demeanor evaporating into the air.

“I really was just looking for a gym. I didn’t know…I should go.”

“No, it’s fine.” Katie stopped short at my words. Honestly, I was shocked myself. But looking around at all my allies made me feel magnanimous.

Jas was sucking her teeth. Across the gym, Tess’s brow furrowed from the warm-up mats. Will probably didn’t even know what the heck was going on and here he was, arms crossed, giving Katie the evil-eye. And Sam…Sam was helping me close a wound I’d thought had healed years ago.

It felt right to have his calm, quiet presence beside me. Correct and necessary in a way I’d never felt before. It felt strong. I felt strong.

Katie’s betrayal would always sting, but standing here now, faced with a situation that would have featured in my worst nightmares just a few weeks ago, I realized I’d allowed her and Nate to dictate how I lived my life and what I thought I deserved for too long. Frankly, I was tired of defining myself and my worth based on their crappy actions.

The thought cracked something open in my mind. In an instant, the person in front of me wasn’t Kate, the woman who’d cheated with my boyfriend for months. She was just Katie, seemingly overwhelmed and a little nervous.

“It’s fine,” I repeated. “You already paid. Will puts on a great class. You should stay.” I eyed the Reeses around me. “Shouldn’t she?”

They grudgingly mumbled an affirmative, which made me want to sweep them all up into a group hug. Katie still looked like she was mentally halfway out the door, hand gripping the strap of her bag. I felt an unexpected pang of empathy. There was a time when I was also new to this town with no clue who to trust. I was familiar with the feeling of being surrounded by potential enemies.

“Come on. I’ll show you around.”

Awkward wasn’t a strong enough word to describe the next hour. I introduced Katie to Tess, whose smile turned rigid when she shook Katie’s hand. Her eyes darted to mine, widening for a second when Katie turned away. I tried to look as reassuring as possible. This was fine. It was fine .

And it was. Katie kept to herself for most of the class, only asking Tess a few questions here and there. At my request, Will graciously agreed to work in a kickboxing warm up, modified for Katie’s growing tummy.

Any time I found my attention drifting to where she was, a quick scan of the room reminded me I had friends here. She was the one intruding on my life; I didn’t have to run scared. I didn’t have to be defined by her actions . The thought was freeing. Revolutionary. Despite the strained, clumsy energy around our group, I was practically bouncing by the end of the hour.

“Good work, everyone. Carmichael, next time you take drugs before class, make sure to bring some for everyone.” Will glared at me while I grinned.

“Seriously, can I have whatever you’re having?” Jas grumbled, bouncing on a yoga ball behind the front desk. “I can’t believe how chipper you are while she’s here.” She threw an evil-eye across the gym as Katie packed up her water bottle and towel.

“It’s not that bad.” I only hesitated a second before reaching out to rub Jasmine’s shoulder. “You’re a good friend, Jas.”

“I know.” She winked. “You are, too. Speaking of, as soon as this baby pops out, please tell me we can go to Molido and convince Tiago to make us some margaritas.”

Sam leaned on the desk beside me, whistling. “Make sure you know what you’re signing up for. He makes them strong. Lethal, even.”

“I’m in. We’ll get Tess in on it, too. I hope you’re down for a good time,” I told Jas, eyeing Sam. “Tequila makes me a little wild.”

He took the bait, looking me up and down, hungry. “Very interested to see what wild looks like on you.” I leaned into him without thinking about it, loving the way he wrapped his arm around me, stroking up and down my spine. Jas pretended to gag, and I was sure we looked like little emojis with hearts for eyes.

But I didn’t care. That little voice screaming for me to slow this down had quieted to hardly a whisper. One I could usually silence by turning over in bed to cuddle under Sam’s arm. He always let me in. His fingers would stroke the skin at the top of my thigh, or the curve of my butt, and it was like a mute button for my insecurities.

“Oh, um, sorry. I just wanted to say…um…” Katie trailed off when Sam drew back.

“I’m gonna go check on Conner,” he muttered, walking away woodenly. I cursed myself for getting swept up in the moment and forgetting that someone from our hospital was here. We’d been so careful in public, but the gym felt like a sacred space. It lulled me into a false sense of security.

It didn’t help we’d been spending so much time together at his house that I’d gotten used to how he touched me constantly. Gotten used to it and discovered how much I loved it. Like, ate it up. I felt like he couldn’t get enough of me either. For someone who’d only had a few dalliances here and there for the last few years, I soaked up the attention, starved for it.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She tracked where Sam was disappearing into the physical therapy half of the building, separated by frosted glass panels and a pony wall. Despite putting on my biggest big girl panties earlier tonight, seeing her watch him made me want to snap my fingers in front of her face, or grip her ear and wrench her eyes away. Instead, I pulled harder on my proverbial panties.

“Ah, you weren’t. He’s just…ah…a good friend.”

“I can see that.” Katie’s eyes twinkled. I pointedly did not look at Jasmine, who I’m pretty sure was scowling.

“You wanted to tell me something?” I changed the subject, wary of engaging my ex-best friend in a discussion about the man I was quickly falling head over heels for. Our track record wasn’t great there.

“I just wanted to say thank you. If I were you, I don’t think I’d be able to be so, um, gracious.” She chuckled, surveying the gym. “It’s too bad. This place is pretty killer. But it’s probably best if I don’t come back. I’ll tell Nate to steer clear, too.”

The idea of seeing him around, or even both of them, wasn’t great, but it didn’t seem as horrible as it had a few weeks ago. I was even starting to make peace with the fact that I might have to work with Nate. It wouldn’t be ideal, and I still didn’t want them near my personal life, but Katie and I could do this. Civil. No tears.

“Anywhere else I need to avoid?” she asked. “I’ve been dying to try the coffee shop next door. Please don’t tell me it’s off-limits.”

I nearly laughed out loud, trying to picture Tiago’s reaction if he knew who Katie was and our history. We’d only hung out a few times, but I got the sense he’d ride into battle for me, if need be, just because of Sam. “The owner is Sam’s best friend. So…”

Her face fell before she recovered with a self-deprecating laugh. “Wow, you’re calling dibs on the good gym and the good coffee shop? Ice cold.”

“I think I deserve them both, under the circumstances.” I grinned, easing the sting of the barb that I couldn’t help but throw her way. My big girl panties were only so big, after all.

“Of course. I obviously didn’t mean…I mean, of course.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, fidgeting. “It’s nice to see that you have this life here. I was worried about that when you left. These people love you, and I’m glad. You deserve it.”

Her head tilted to the frosted glass where we could make out Sam’s shadow as he talked with Conner. “It’s not like that,” I rushed. Some of my alarm must have shown on my face because Katie gave me a soft smile.

“It’s okay. The heart wants what the heart wants. Trust me, I’m not a stranger to that,” she drawled, dryly. “I just want you to be happy, Lainey. I’m glad you seemed to have found that here. Your secret’s safe with me.”

I replayed the conversation again and again that night, searching for some hint of malice or shiftiness. I came up with nothing.

Maybe she was being sincere, and didn’t care that Sam and I were flouting hospital rules. But I didn’t know how her husband would feel about all this, or if he’d be petty enough to slip that information to the right person at the right moment to edge me out of the interview process.

I kept my worries to myself. Sam would probably do something like go to HR to try and head off the threat, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for something like that.

Things felt like they were too delicately balanced to risk it. Not right now, when I hadn’t seen the inside of an OR in a week. So, we made chicken piccata and drank beer on his porch and I worried about it constantly in my brain, all night long. Even my Sam mute button didn’t work.

I wanted to believe Katie, I really did, but they’d already screwed me over once to get what they wanted. Who’s to say they wouldn’t again?