Chapter 6

"Fucking finally! Twenty-four hours, Dahlia. You made me wait a whole day for the callback. Not cool. What if you'd died?"

I rolled my eyes. "I was with my mates. They wouldn't kill me."

"They might choke you too hard with their dicks."

I made a considering sound and nodded. "That is a valid fear. You've seen the size of them."

"Seen? Pfft. Not when it actually counts." She held up her banana and raised her brows. "Bigger than this?"

"Yes."

"Hang on!" Kiki darted away from the screen and then returned with a flounce back into position. "What about girth? Bigger than this?" The woman held up a can of Coke, eyes wide, expression expectant.

"You accidentally saw two of them naked that one time."

"Oh, I know, and it is a gift I'll never forget, but I'm not talking about when they're behaving." She waved the can in front of the camera. "Eh?"

"I'm not answering that, Kiki."

She whistled and muttered under her breath, "Definitely bigger than a Coke can." Then she winced. "Your poor vag. They're basically fisting you, aren't they? I'm just imagining the four of them with forearms dangling between their legs. It's surprisingly sexy. Forearm porn has a whole new meaning."

"Ew, Kiki. Stop it."

"It's your fault. You abandoned me."

"I—" I protested, but then I stopped. I'd done exactly that. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Kai was so out of it after shifting, and I just really wanted to make sure he was okay. I mean, it was a lot for all of us to go through."

"No, I get it. You had to Florence Nightingale for him. He'd have done the same for you. That's what fated life partners do. Still, besties have complaining privileges. I get to give you shit for at leeeasst..." She drew the word out and trailed off, pretending to check an imaginary watch. "Twenty more minutes."

"Would it shorten my time if I told you he saved me from a psycho killer former member of my dad's cult who wanted me to help him summon the goddess Death?"

Her eyes went comically wide. "I'm sorry, you didn't think to lead with that?"

"Lead with the ritual sacrifice? Seems a bit heavy-handed. I wanted to warm you up first. Ease into it."

"It's not anal, Dahlia. I don't need to be prepped first. Give me the deets. All of them. I'll know if you're holding out on me, woman."

I snorted. Fucking Kiki.

"Well, the Ripper is dead. Kai burned him to ashes, and good riddance. He'd been posing as Dr. Temperance."

"Hot doc was a serial killer?" she screeched. "God, why is it always the pretty ones?"

"Yeah, fake name, fake accent, probably a fake medical degree. He was trying to finish my father's work," I said, using air quotes on the last.

"Bastard," she breathed. If she'd had a bowl of popcorn, she totally would have been shoving it into her mouth.

"He did this thing with the lights and snuck up on me. Chloroformed me or something, so I woke up on an altar in the—I'm not shitting you—cemetery. There was a special dagger. He sliced me open, collected my blood, had a whole villain monologue prepared. The dude had clearly been planning for his big moment for the last decade. Oh, oh, and I'm pretty sure I hallucinated because that woman I saw the time my dad tried to do the same showed up again and was whispering in my ear. She got me to use my power to raise some zombies. I swear it was like Stephen King got the manuscript of my life and started tossing spooky obstacles in the way. Oh, and I heard your voice too..."

Kiki was staring at me, her mouth hanging open like a broken ventriloquist dummy. She blinked, and I mentally added the cartoon sound effects.

"I'm sorry, back the fuck up. Zombies?"

"Did I not tell you I'm a necromancer?"

"A necro-whater?"

"I can raise the dead and talk to them. Oh, and I lost so much blood a hot vampire priest had to feed me to keep me alive."

"Now you're just fucking with me. There's a hot priest? Hotter than hot doc?"

"Way hotter. He's Irish."

"Single?"

"Not remotely."

"Balls."

"Keeks, he's a vampire, and you faint at the sight of blood."

"Not anymore. Besides, I can work on it. I'm willing to do all the inner work I need if there's a confessional booth and an Irish accent in my future."

"Kiki," I chastised.

"Okay, okay, tell me more about this thwarted ritual sacrifice. Kai turned into a dragon?"

I shuddered in pleasure, remembering the sight of it. Fuck, it was so hot to watch him give in to his dragon. "Yes. He's fearsome and fucking enormous. His fire was so hot it actually melted the dagger." I swooned a little. "Did I mention he can manifest his wings in his human form?"

"Get out. You have a real-life Rhysand. No, better than Rhysand, because he's a mothertrucking dragon." Kiki's expression grew thoughtful. "How on earth are you going to explain them when you bring them all home? Hi neighbors, these are my new roommates, four hulking hot guys with dicks the size of Coke cans, and by the way, one of them is a real hothead, and yes, those are wings."

"Technically I don't really have neighbors. That was the beauty of my place, remember? And well, actually, we aren't going to be coming back."

"I beg your actual pardon," Kiki said, affronted.

"We can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

I guess that answered my unspoken fear that Kiki had known about Blackwood's little secret before sending me here. Not that I actually suspected her, but literally every other person I'd trusted in my past had betrayed me, so it wouldn't exactly be out of the norm for me if she had gone and done it too.

"I'm not sure how to break it to you, Keeks."

"Spit it out. Like cum."

"We don't spit, Kiki. We're good girls. We show it to them first, then swallow."

She didn't even crack a smile.

I sighed. "Blackwood isn't a wellness center. It's a prison. We're all trapped here."

Her face drained of all color. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. The Belladonna witch just strengthened the wards. We're never leaving. No one does."

"But... what... how?" she sputtered.

I shrugged, because I didn't really have any more answers than she did. "Apparently it's a whole big conspiracy. The High Council's way of keeping us out of sight and mind. The supernatural world's dirty little secrets."

"The high what now?"

"Council. It's made up of the leaders of the various species."

"So like the United Nations."

"Sure."

She was quiet for a second, her focus drifting as she stared at something off-screen. Then she huffed and straightened, her posture rigid and her expression filled with her usual take-no-prisoners intensity. Kiki had come to a decision, and heads were about to roll.

"Well, they don't have any fucking jurisdiction over me. I'm not going to let them dictate what my client-slash-bestie does."

I didn't have the heart to tell her she was up the creek without a paddle.

"Are you really just going to sit there and accept this, Dahlia? I'm so disappointed in you."

Scoffing with pure indignation, I said, "You're disappointed in me? What did I do?"

"Nothing, that's the point."

"I didn't know I'd be trapped here when I walked through the doors."

"Neither did I, but you're just over there taking it lying down. Literally. I get that you're being fucked to within an inch of your life, and that's great, but you've got obligations out in the real world. You're not supposed to go on a permanent vacay and never come back. I need you. Romancelandia needs you."

"Kiki, that was a low fucking blow. I don't know what I can do. I'm not a witch. I'm barely a necromancer. But I'd rather make the best of a bad situation because the alternative leads to some really dark places I don't want to go." My voice wobbled as anger made tears spring to my eyes.

"Dee, I get that your hands are tied, but you're just over there taking this BS at face value. Maybe you can't physically do anything, but did you really not think to flash the bat signal and call in reinforcements?"

"Who am I supposed to call, Keeks? Ghostbusters?"

"Me! You're supposed to call me. I'm your person. When have I ever let you down?"

"Keeks..."

"No, seriously. When have I ever not come through? Is it because I'm human? Do you think I'm not smart enough to figure out something? I know people."

I huffed, frustration getting the better of me. "You didn't even know paranormal creatures existed in the first place, Kiki. What on earth could you have done?"

"Have you forgotten how good I am at leaking news to the press? Give me access to one of your creatures' names and connections. I'll find them, and before long, it'll spread like wildfire. You said that Sorcha chick is like royalty or something, right? I bet her family won't be happy to know they're never getting her back. Besides, you said it yourself. The SUN or whoever has gotten away with this for so long because no one knows about it. So we make sure everyone fucking knows. Who is better than me at getting the word out? No one."

My heart felt three sizes too big. Even when she was mad at me, Kiki still wanted to come to my rescue. I didn't deserve her.

"The sun?" I asked, because it felt like the safest option with as emotional as I was in the moment.

"Supernatural UN."

"Of course." I was getting slow in my confinement. "I've never even heard of the Blackthornes. How are you going to find them?"

"I have my ways. Give me two hours, a red-string theory board, a glue stick, and a couple energy drinks. I'll find them."

"Don't forget the snacks. You get cranky without a steady supply of salt."

She pointed a pink-tipped fingernail at me. "Good call."

We stared at each other for a second, some of the tension leaving us both. When she smiled at me again, it was filled with a bit of sadness but also resolve. "I'm still pissed you didn't think to mention this."

"I know. I'm sorry."

She bit on her bottom lip. "Did you think I did it on purpose?"

Her eyes were filled with so much vulnerability it broke my heart.

"No. Fuck no, Keeks. I didn't know what to think about any of it, to be honest. Things have been happening so fast I'm just sort of doing what I can not to drown."

"I wouldn't do something like this. I'd never have agreed to send you there if I'd known."

"I know that. It was him, Dr. Temperance. He pulled the strings, and we went along because we didn't know better. It's not your fault."

"If I could trade places with you, I would. You're more than just my bestie. You're like my platonic soulmate. I'd die for you. That's what ride or die means."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," I said with a laugh, my heart aching. "Besides, if one of us has to go down, it's gonna be me for you."

"No way, you have those four hotties to bang. Who's sitting around waiting on me?"

"I am."

Kiki stared at me, all traces of humor gone, as she put on her big black-framed glasses and pulled a pencil out of her bun. "Okay, Blackthorne. Is that with an e?"

"Pretty sure."

She nodded, jotting down some notes. After a second, she looked up at me and smirked. "Are any of them single?"

We wrapped up our conversation and hung up less than a minute later. I felt a bit like laundry that had gone through one of those old-school wringers. Kiki was right. I'd fucked up when I didn't bring her in on everything going on at Blackwood, but it wasn't intentional. The real world felt so separate from life here. Besides, I'd had a lot on my plate recently, not the least of which was the return of Brother Sam, aka the Ripper, aka Temperance, aka dicknose. It was hard enough for me to stay up to speed with things, and it was my fucking life.

But I had to admit, knowing that she was on my side, hard at work trying to come up with a plan to get me and the boys out, filled me with much-needed relief. Finally, that happy ending everyone always wrote about—myself included—didn't seem so unattainable.

Less than an hour later, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out, grinning at the message from Kiki.

Kiki:

Found them. Meeting up next week to break the news.

My heart lurched when a second message came through. Not because I didn't want it to be true but because of the sense of foreboding that curled in my gut as I read her words.

Kiki:

Pack your bags. I'll be there to get you soon.