Chapter 21

"Fuck."

"I told you not to try and bring her, boss. Now she's gonna be so mad at you. You'll be in the doghouse for weeks."

"Wouldn't be the first time." I tore my eyes away from the empty space where the portal had just been and looked down at Asshole's furry body. "You really gonna stick with that form? You don't want to go back to your slobbering, three-headed glory."

"Nah. I kinda like this one. It's grown on me."

"Really?"

"I think it's adorable," Nellie said. "He's a wee beastie."

"See?" Asshole said, wagging his tail. "She thinks I'm an adorable wee beastie."

"Suit yourself."

Nellie's eyes grew wide as she took in her new surroundings. Her form was solid here, her essence matching that of this realm. It was only her eyes that exposed her for what she was, those silvery blue, mirrored orbs a dead giveaway. Pun intended.

Surprising myself, I took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Come on, Nellie. Let's get you checked in."

She glanced down at where our hands were joined, then looked up at me, an almost pained expression on her face. "I haven't touched another person in centuries."

"That's all about to change. You're where you belong now. Nearly everyone here is just like you."

Asshole snickered, trotting along at my side as I led Nellie down the path that would take us to the reception area. "I really thought you were about to make a dirty joke."

"I'll leave those to you," I muttered.

As we strolled together through my domain, I took a moment to soak it all in. I'd missed the beauty of the dark sky above, the world bathed in nothing but the light of my very own moon and stars. In the distance, I caught sight of the glow coming from the River Styx. My gut twisted in anticipation. I hadn't realized how much I craved the comfort of my realm. Would Dahlia enjoy being here? Gods, I hoped she would.

Despite popular belief, the underworld was not all brimstone and hellfire. That was the other guy's realm. Mine was more peaceful, at least in the central areas. The one thing everyone got right was the river. Filled with the luminescent souls of the dead, it glowed with their light. Every now and then a row boat with a lantern would float down the water, one of my reapers and the soul they were escorting the sole occupants. There was a lone dock for them to disembark and then the main gates.

The gates were misleading in their simplicity, though the demarcation they represented was very real. Beyond the two wooden posts, a soul would find a multitude of possibilities: punishment, salvation, peace, or perhaps a chance for redemption. The path they'd be sent on was chosen based on the way they'd lived. Oftentimes we'd receive a soul who thought they were doomed to an eternity in the hellfire they'd been taught to fear. But that punishment was saved for the worst of the worst. As with most things, the afterlife was a spectrum. Shades of gray, if you will.

Leading Nellie down the main walkway, I ignored the side paths that would lead to other sections of my realm. She didn't need to worry about those.

"Don't worry, doll face. You're gonna be just fine," Asshole said, giving Nellie a little lick on the ankle. "My guy Hades won't let anything happen to you."

"Are you certain?" Nellie asked.

"You'll get what you've earned. Nothing less."

We joined the line of souls waiting to be given their assignments.

"Next!" Janine, the underworld's resident greeter, sat behind a broad white desk at the head of the line, her curly red pixie cut standing out in stark relief against the plain backdrop behind her.

I smirked at her chosen appearance. This woman had been working for me since before I stole my Persephone. Her visage had gone through more changes than trends on this generation's social media. Today she wore a fluffy black cardigan buttoned at the throat, sparkly cat-eye glasses attached with a bejeweled chain around the back of her neck, and crimson lipstick that matched her hair.

"Name?"

"Bethanny Johannson."

"Death date?"

"Uh... today?"

Janine blinked at the poor soul and shook her head. "Do you have your papers?"

"P-papers?"

She chewed her gum loudly as she manifested a keyboard and typed something into a nonexistent computer. "I swear, those reapers are getting lazier every year. Did yours give you anything? A receipt? A document? Even a token?"

Bethanny shook her head, her shoulders tense. "I'm sorry. I just followed him onto the boat."

Rolling her eyes, Janine continued typing, then held out a hand. "Gimme your finger, sweetheart."

"What?"

"Your. Finger. I need a drop of your soul so I can run you through the system since someone didn't do his job. I bet it was that handsome prick, Chad."

The girl did as she was bade, a little gasp escaping her as Janine took the drop of essence that she needed.

Nellie leaned in close. "She's not going to do that to me, is she? I dinnae like needles."

"Don't worry, doll face. You're with the man himself. You'll breeze through this." Asshole nipped my ankle. "Right, boss? She's been through enough, hasn't she?"

I nodded. Having heard Nellie's story, I doubted she was destined for any major punishments. Would be easy enough to make sure she landed somewhere pleasant to spend the rest of her days.

"All right, sweetheart. Third door on the left. The. Left. It's on your head if you choose the wrong one."

Ah, sweet Bethanny got to go through to the Elysian Fields. Good for her.

"Next!" Janine shouted as a bedraggled man approached. "Name. Death date. Paperwork," she said in rapid fire.

"Um, Scott Alwyn. Death date was... a few days ago, I think." He shoved his paperwork at Janine.

She snatched the papers from his hand and read them over. "Oh, lethal injection, huh? I'm assuming you already know where you're going, then?"

"Please, I've paid for my crime. Can't I try again?"

"You paid with one life. You stole seven."

"But I was only convicted for?—"

"Save it for someone who cares, buddy. I've heard it all, and I ain't buying the shit you're peddling." She pointed to the right. "Elevator. There's only one button. You can't miss it."

It carried on like this for another handful of recently deceased. Then it was Nellie's turn. My unflappable receptionist nearly fell off her stool when she looked up and found me.

"Boss! What are you doing, slumming it down here? Did you actually wait in line?" She craned her neck around me as if checking for confirmation.

Not wanting to be left out, Asshole let out a series of joyous barks and shot around the desk.

"Oh my gods! Look at you! Love the new look, shnookums."

"You're looking fit yourself, hot stuff," Asshole said, earning himself a couple extra chin scritches.

I cleared my throat and redirected the conversation. "This isn't a social visit, Janine. I've brought someone through the gates who missed her boat."

Janine gave Nellie a once-over. "Oh, by the looks of your outfit, honey, you're really late to the party. But if Hades himself is escorting you..."

"We solved her murder!" Asshole piped up. "Poor broad was thrown down a well. It was fuckin' tragic, Janine. I'm telling you. She was in love and everything."

"Oh, honey. All right, let's get you sorted out. What's your name?"

"Nellie Brown."

"Death date?"

Nellie shrugged.

"Right, right, doesn't matter. I'm guessing you don't have any paperwork, what with the missing your reaper and all."

Nellie shook her head.

"Finger, please."

"Wait," I said, "we don't need to process her."

Janine gaped at me. She couldn't have looked more offended if I'd asked Asshole to shit in her coffee cup. "What do you mean? We have protocols for a reason, boss."

"And as the one who wrote the protocols, it's my right to break them when the occasion calls for it."

Janine held up both her hands, scoffing, "Well, I never."

I turned to Nellie and stared into her mirrored irises, searching for the truth in her soul. She wasn't perfect, but no one really was. The woman hadn't lived long enough to do something heinous enough to earn her any kind of punishment.

"You have two choices, Nellie. I can send you off to the Elysian Fields, where you'll never know pain or sorrow again. Or, you can drink from the River Lethe and forget everything you've ever known and start all over with a blank slate. There's no guarantee your life will be kind to you, but there's also every possibility it will."

Nellie swallowed, clearly struggling with her choice.

Asshole took the bottom of her dress and tugged until she looked down.

"Door number two, doll face. Maybe this time your prince charming and you will ride off into the sunset together."

"I didn't take you for a romantic," I murmured.

"You fucking kidding me? I am the romantic. Why else would I have followed your ass around the mortal realm all these years?"

Nellie bit her lower lip and nodded before looking straight at me and saying, "I want to do it again."

Janine sighed. "Thank the gods. Good choice, sweetheart. Down the hall, second door on the left."

I walked Nellie to the doorway, the rushing river audible as soon as she opened the door. She turned to me and wrapped me in a tight hug, catching me off guard as she said, "Thank you."

"Go on now. Make good choices, and don't let me catch you heading for any of the punishments next time."

Then she was gone, and the door shut behind her. I never really interfered with the sorting of souls, but I had to admit, this was a good experience for me. As I returned to Janine and Asshole, my gaze fell upon the small child who was next in line, a reaper escorting him but struggling to comfort him.

It wasn't very often I came across a kid in my realm. Not for any lack of them, but as a whole, they were innocent, meaning they didn't require my special brand of attention. Almost always they were sent straight for reincarnation, but if he was here waiting to be sorted out, then he must have already gone through the process a few times. Poor soul.

I crouched down so we were at eye level. This kid had to be no older than four.

"What's wrong, buddy?" I asked.

"I want my mummy," he whimpered. "Where is she?"

"What's your name, little man?"

"B-Bradley."

"Bradley what?"

"Thompson."

Reaching out, I took his hand and closed my eyes. His mother was in the Elysian Fields. Waiting for him. "See that door?" I asked after I opened my eyes and adjusted us so he was standing in front of me.

"Uh-huh."

"Your mom is waiting behind it."

"She is?" The awe in his voice nearly broke me. "Are you sure?"

"I am." Standing, I scooped him into my arms, his little body so light as I carried him. Tossing a look back at Janine, she simply nodded, understanding exactly what I needed to do.

The door opened as we approached, sunlight and gentle birdsong filtering out. As I expected, there was a woman with Bradley's exact shade of hair standing in the doorway.

"Hi baby, I've been waiting for you," she said, her smile so big it hurt to look at. This kind of joy, the special brand forged from grief, always hit hard.

"Mummy!" Bradley shouted, squirming in my arms until I let him down. "I missed you so much, mummy!" He bolted through the doorway. I only just managed to see him leap into his mother's arms before the door closed soundlessly behind him.

I had to clear my throat and blink away the pressure in my eyes.

"You all right, boss man?" Asshole asked, sensing as he always did when I was out of sorts.

"I'm fine," I lied. No need to admit I was growing a heart over here. "But I think it's time to head back."

"You're taking me with you, right?" he demanded, not giving me any choice but to catch him as he jumped up into my arms. It was just similar enough to the moment I'd just witnessed that I gave myself permission to rub my cheek over the top of his head and steal a little bit of comfort.

"Of course I am. Now let's go. Dahlia's waiting on us."