Chapter 3

Until I met Joshua Hayes, I'd never encountered a true omega werewolf. And until I met his brother Jesse, I'd never known someone so full of both love and anger that he seemed perpetually on a knife's edge, waiting for the slightest provocation to unleash the full force of his fury.

Sean, Nan, and I met the brothers at the land the Tomb Mountain Pack owned north of town. It was the first time I'd been part of a decision about prospective new pack members.

"Thank you for meeting with us," Jesse told us as he shook Sean's hand. His tone bordered on confrontational, though he had no reason to be. I wondered if he assumed we'd be unwelcoming or unkind since so many other packs had turned them away.

Jesse met each of our gazes for a moment and then dropped his eyes. He was a little under six feet tall but powerfully built, even by shifter standards. He clearly spent a lot of time in the gym. I wondered if his primary motivation was protecting his brother, or if he was trying to compensate somehow for Joshua's relative weakness by making himself as physically intimidating as possible.

Though several inches taller than Jesse and as muscular as any shifter, Joshua stayed behind his brother, his eyes fixed on the ground. I felt instinctively protective of Joshua, and was sure Sean and Nan felt the same.

"We're glad to have you here." Sean's eyes glowed golden. A shadow moved behind them: Sean's wolf, evaluating the brothers through his human eyes. Sean had explained that in this initial meeting, we would meet the new prospective pack members first as humans. Then they would shift and interact as wolves to see if Jesse and Joshua's wolves would be a good fit for the pack.

Sean's golden eyes moved from Jesse to Joshua. His expression softened and his tone gentled. An alpha was a protector first and foremost. "Hello, Joshua. What do you think of our land?"

Joshua didn't look up. "It's very big," he said. His voice was surprisingly quiet for such a large man. "We drove all the way around. It took a long time."

"We like to have a lot of room to run," Nan said with a smile, though Joshua kept his eyes on the grass.

Nan's graying hair and kindly expression didn't disguise her dominance, now that she no longer pretended to be farther down in the pack hierarchy than she should be. She was still the caring and motherly woman I'd known since I'd first met her, but there was more steel visible in her now.

"Given what you told me in your e-mail, we know about your past interactions with other packs," Sean said, turning back to Jesse. Joshua relaxed minutely when no longer the focus of Sean's attention. "You and Joshua have chosen to be on your own since leaving the Clear Lake Pack. Tell us why you think our pack might be a good home for you and your brother."

Jesse's eyes glowed amber. "We're not here to beg to join your pack, Mr. Maclin. If that's what you want me to do, we'll leave right now."

He was as angry as Joshua was meek. We didn't deserve his anger, but I couldn't blame him for it, given the abuse they'd suffered. My heart ached for both of them. I didn't let Jesse see my sympathy. He wouldn't want it. He wanted our acceptance, though he was too angry and proud to ask for it.

Sean studied him. "Obviously, I'm aware Joshua is on the autism spectrum, and as an omega wolf he has been the target of abuse from your original pack, other packs, and even lone wolves. I'm also aware of your reputation as a fierce fighter and a protector. You have a well-documented history of starting—and finishing—a hell of a lot of fights, especially when someone mistreats Joshua, or when you think they're going to. I understand how hard your life has been."

"Do you?" Jesse asked, his voice bitter.

Sean moved like lightning. In a blink, Jesse was flat on his back, staring up in shock as Sean pinned him on the ground with a fist in his shirt. The sudden violent act startled me, but Nan didn't react.

"Yes, I do," Sean snapped. "Just because I haven't lived it doesn't mean I can't understand it. I've seen my share of suffering."

I wondered if he was thinking about my memories of my life with my grandfather, which he'd seen when I got them back from the sorcerer Mira?. I hadn't intended for Sean to see them, and really hadn't wanted him to—not because I wanted to hide them, but because Sean had enough bad memories without having mine too. But it was over and done, and there was no undoing it.

Sean kept Jesse pinned on the ground as Joshua watched, fear in his eyes. "Let me make something clear. If we invite you to join our pack and you decide to accept, no one in my pack, least of all me, wants you to beg—for a place among us, or anything else. No one in my pack will abuse you or your brother, because that's not the kind of people we are, and because I won't tolerate it. No one in my pack will treat Joshua or you as anything but a brother. We will protect you both, and you will protect your pack mates. Before that happens, however, you will get that chip off your shoulder. We've lost two pack members recently who wouldn't let go of their anger. If you know about our pack, you know that."

"I know about that." Jesse avoided Sean's eyes. "Please let me up, so my brother doesn't get scared."

Sean released Jesse's shirt. The younger man got to his feet and backed up several steps. "He didn't hurt me," he told Joshua, who'd shrunk back when Sean put his brother on the ground. "I was out of line, talking to an alpha like that." His expression indicated he didn't think he'd been entirely out of line, but he wanted to reassure Joshua, who looked ready to bolt.

"I'm not saying you shouldn't be angry about what you and Joshua have been through," Sean said as the brothers stood silently. "You have every right to be angry. I'm angry on your behalf. You've seen the worst of toxic pack culture, power dynamics, and abusive behavior. A lot of packs measure their worth based on brute strength and how they cull those they think are weak. Since the days of my predecessor, this pack has never been that way, and as long as I'm the alpha, it never will be." He glanced at me, his eyes warm. "As Alice has said, mercy and love are not weaknesses."

"At the end of the day, they are our greatest strengths," I told them. "As you know already, you will never fight harder than to protect those you love."

Jesse and Joshua exchanged a glance, having a conversation with their eyes as only siblings could. "That's why we came here," Jesse said finally. "Because we heard your pack was different. Joshua deserves a pack and a home."

"You both do," I said.

Sean squeezed my hand. "What do you think about Nan, our beta?" he asked Jesse.

"I think she could whup me," Jesse said without hesitation. "And I think she'll help me take care of my brother."

"And what do you think of Alice?" Sean asked. If the question about Nan had been a test, this second question was even more pointed.

"I've never met anyone like her." Jesse met my eyes and then lowered his gaze. "She's human, but she's got a wolf. And she's so powerful. I can feel her magic from over here."

"Are you afraid of her wolf?" Sean asked.

Jesse nodded.

"You should be." Sean's tone was full of warning. "Alice is my consort. She and her wolf are part of our pack. If you're in any way uncomfortable with that, or with a female beta, you can go."

Joshua flinched and Jesse looked a little taken aback. I wanted to say something to soften Sean's words, but I remembered what he'd told me last night: Let me do what I need to do as the alpha of our pack . Sean's ultimatum was harsh, but he had to make our position clear so the Hayes brothers—and any other new wolves who wanted to join our pack—knew how things stood.

Sean had been too lenient on both Caleb Jennings and Delia Hastings. I'd come to realize, even before last night, that his tolerance was mostly my fault, both directly and indirectly. He'd always been a good man and never more authoritarian than necessary to lead the pack, but since he'd fallen in love with me, his heart had softened a little more than he could probably afford. He was nothing like any pack alpha I'd ever known, which was a big reason why I loved him. I had no use for alphas—or anyone, for that matter—who mistreated others, or used their strength to subjugate or harm instead of protect, or preferred a partner who stood behind them instead of at their side.

At the same time, I was starting to understand that just as I wanted and needed him to accept me as I was, he needed the same from me. Delia's death in particular had hammered that point home. In the days since Sean had killed her, I'd realized granting Delia mercy after she'd had me hexed had not made the situation any better. I'd had only the best of intentions, but if I hadn't spoken up and wielded my authority as consort to spare Delia from Sean's rightful punishment, she might be alive now. That was a painful truth, and it would weigh on me for a long time.

All I could do now was try to learn from that mistake and let Sean do what he needed to do. Personal growth , Malcolm called it. He wasn't wrong, but I wished personal growth didn't hurt so much sometimes.

"We're fine with having a female beta," Jesse said. "Now that I've met her, I know she deserves that position in the pack. And as for Alice, if she's willing to fight for me and Joshua as if we're her brothers, then we're willing to do the same." He glanced at me.

"I fight for this pack," I told him. I started to add for as long as I'm a part of it , but I changed my mind. They didn't need to know I was worried about my future.

"Joshua?" Sean prompted when Jesse's younger brother said nothing. "What do you think?"

"I would like to stay," Joshua said, his voice barely audible. "I have no problem with Nan or Alice."

"I'm glad to hear it." Sean gestured at the woods behind them. "Go ahead and shift and go running. We'll join you in a few moments."

The brothers went to their truck and quickly stripped, leaving their clothes inside the cab. Though I knew nudity mattered little to shifters, and neither Jesse or Joshua seemed the least self-conscious, I kept my gaze averted. Sean's eyes twinkled, but he didn't tease me.

Joshua shifted first. His shift took longer than most werewolves I'd seen. His wolf was tawny brown and average sized. He hunkered on his belly with his tail between his legs. Even Karen Williams, the pack's current most submissive member and smallest wolf, had never cowered like that in front of Sean. My heart ached for him.

Jesse stepped between Joshua's wolf and Sean and then shifted. He'd wanted to make sure Joshua was safely recovered from the pain of shifting and protected. His love for his brother was fierce. For all his anger, he was loyal and noble, and I liked him.

Jesse's wolf was the same size as his brother's, with darker ears and a streak of dark brown on his tail. He kept his tail halfway down, in deference to us, but I sensed his anger still simmering. He could attack at any moment, given provocation. That was worrisome, since a werewolf with a hair trigger was a recipe for disaster—for everyone.

Together, they disappeared into the trees, with Jesse in the lead and Joshua right behind.

Sean turned to me. "What do you think?"

"You can probably guess what I think." I exhaled. "I hate that they were abused and driven from their own pack and haven't been able to find any pack that will welcome them. Jesse is volatile and Joshua needs protecting, but that's no excuse for how they've been ostracized. Jesse came to us because he thought they'd be protected and find a home here. I can't think of a higher compliment for our pack than that."

Silence. I looked at Sean, and then Nan. Had I said something wrong?

"What you just said flies in face of everything most packs stand for, and would give several members of the Council apoplexy." Nan smiled. "In order words, it was exactly the right thing to say."

"Are we comfortable being the pack with the reputation for taking in those who have a difficult time fitting in anywhere else?" Sean asked.

It was a serious question, with a lot of possible repercussions worth thinking about. He'd been considering this very issue since the moment he'd received Jesse's first e-mail, and probably before.

I knew what my heart said, especially given what we knew about Jesse and Joshua, but what about my head? We couldn't make decisions based solely on emotion.

Nan spoke. "Here's a better question: are we comfortable being the kind of pack that turns away people like Jesse and Joshua?"

Sean thought about it, but not for long. Nan's question went to the very heart of who Sean was, and what he wanted his pack to be.

"No, we are not comfortable turning them away," Sean stated. "I believe Jesse wants to change his ways and Joshua deserves a home. I want to give them a chance."

"They deserve a chance," I said. "But if Jesse doesn't show right away that he's improving?—"

"He gets one warning, and then they'll have to leave," Sean finished. He kissed my forehead. "It's harsh, but it's what we'll have to do." I could tell he was thinking about Caleb, who, despite being given a dozen chances, had never been able to let go of his anger.

"I understand," I told him, and I meant it. "Just don't ever stop believing in people." I'd told him that after Caleb's death, when he'd blamed himself for the attack that nearly killed me.

"I won't," he promised. "But there are higher stakes now, and harder limits."

I kissed him. His mouth was hard. He was in alpha mode. I understood it, even if I didn't necessarily like it. "Go run with the others," I said. "I'll wait here until you get back."

He pulled his shirt off over his head. Mmm, that perfect chest.

Nan chuckled and headed for her car to take off her clothes and give us a moment of privacy.

Sean folded his clothes and left them on the hood of the Maclin Security SUV. I tried not to leer, but I was already thinking about getting back home after our meeting with Charles.

Sean kissed me, this time with enough heat to make my legs wobbly. To my surprise, he picked me up with his hands under my butt, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist. It was something we did in private, but I'd never done something so blatantly sexual in front of someone else who wasn't part of the fun—and he was naked, for crying out loud.

When I resisted, Sean drew back, his eyes bright gold. "What's wrong?"

I pressed my lips to his ear. "Nan's right there," I murmured.

"Nan knows we have sex," he countered, without lowering me to the ground. "It won't bother her." He leaned me back against the car and slid his hand under my thigh.

I was as aroused as hell—good Lord, who wouldn't be?—but I clearly wanted him to put me down, and he didn't. What was going on with him?

Nan was out of my line of sight, but a tingle of magic on the back of my neck indicated she'd shifted. Sean kissed me again. "Go," I said when we came up for air. I was breathing heavily, unable to ignore either his arousal or my own. I needed a cold shower. "Run with the others. As soon as we get home from Charles's house, we'll have some time to ourselves."

With obvious reluctance, Sean let me slide down until my feet hit the ground. "We won't be long," he said. His voice had a little edge of growl that indicated his wolf was close to his skin. "And we won't go far."

"I'll be fine." As soon as I cooled down. "I'll holler if I need you."

He took a couple of steps back, went to his knees, and shifted in a powerful surge of golden shifter magic. Black magic threads twisted through the gold—the traces of Mira?'s power Sean had absorbed when I'd killed the sorcerer.

Every time I saw Mira?'s magic in Sean's aura, I hated it more. Sean said it gave him more power and strengthened his bonds with pack members and that was all, but I had no more idea what effects Mira?'s black magic would have on Sean than on my own magic or body. I knew Mira?'s magic was slowly killing me. What if it was damaging Sean too? Or changing him? Black magic was evil, and we'd gotten ours from an evil man.

As much as Mira?'s power added to my own, I had to get rid of it somehow to save my life. I wanted it gone from Sean too, but I had no idea how to do either of those things.

Sean's wolf was enormous—black and gray, with beautiful golden eyes. He raised his head and howled. Nan's gray wolf answered from near the tree line. In the distance, Jesse and Joshua howled from the field beyond the trees.

Sean nudged my hand with his nose, then headed off into the trees with Nan to join the Hayes brothers to run and hunt. If there were no issues, Sean would invite the brothers to meet the rest of the pack, and then they'd do the formalities of registering the Hayes brothers as pack members with the Council.

The weather was beautiful. If we'd been in Sean's truck, I would have sat on the tailgate, but his truck had been totaled by heavily armed panther shifters on motorcycles, so we were in one of his company SUVs. I got into the SUV, shut the door, and leaned back in the passenger seat. My back still ached.

When my phone buzzed, I glanced at the screen. Mr. Sunshine Calling . I hit the green button. "Hello, Matthias. What's up?"

Matthias Albrecht was a longtime enforcer for the Vampire Court. In the wake of the death of her traitorous personal guard Hanson, Valas had promoted Matthias to take his place.

He and one of my best friends, Vamp Court investigator Arkady Woodall, were in a rather volatile on-again, off-again relationship. At the moment they were back on, but their philosophical differences about what it meant to be employed by the Court and how much loyalty the Court demanded were major points of disagreement. Matthias obeyed Valas and other members of the Court in all things. Arkady didn't believe in following their orders when it conflicted with her own sense of right and wrong.

At the moment, they enjoyed the resulting angry sex, but Arkady confided she'd all but decided their relationship had to end. Matthias was loyal foremost to the Court, and despite how much he liked her, he couldn't understand why Arkady was so resistant to their system of complete and total loyalty.

"Ms. Worth," Matthias rumbled. "Madame Valas requires your presence at Northbourne."

I glanced out the window. The sun was still an hour from setting. The older the vamp, the earlier they rose. Valas was more than a thousand years old. When, where, and for how long she slept each day were closely guarded secrets, but I'd started to wonder if she slept at all.

"Sean and I have a meeting with Charles Vaughan at ten," I said. "What does Valas want? Because if it's another case for the Court, I'm probably not interested."

I didn't have to see his face to know Matthias didn't approve of the way I referred to his boss so informally, or that I would turn down a job for the Court. "Madame Valas did not tell me specifically what she wishes to discuss, only that it pertains to your prior agreement ." He put subtle emphasis on the last two words.

Well, crap. I owed Valas a big favor in return for how she'd helped me save Sean's life. I got the sense she was about ready for me to fulfill my end of the deal.

"I can come to Northbourne after our meeting with Charles," I said reluctantly. "I'll let you know when I'm on my way there."

"Thank you, Ms. Worth. I will see you soon." He ended the call.

I made a face and stuck my phone in the cup holder. So much for fun with Sean back home. When they returned from their wolf run, there would be just enough time to swing by my house so I could pick up my vehicle and then drive to Charles's estate.

Someone from the Court could drive me from Charles's house to Northbourne and then home after my meeting with Valas, but I didn't want a Court chauffeur. My binding with Valas chafed, though she had far less power over me than a mundane human. After months or years of manipulation by Charles, I was even more conscious of my freedom than before.

I might as well try to rest while I waited for Sean and the others to come back. This might be a long night. I locked the doors, leaned the seat back, and curled up.