Chapter Thirty-Two

A lyce returned to her chamber before dawn after Hawk had made love to her again. Extricating her body from the tangle of his limbs, knowing she may never have another night like this with him was like ripping her heart from her chest. She had to force herself not to look at him as she found her shift and wrapped herself in her robe. Even then, he had stalked from the bed like a lion on the hunt and pressed her up against the door to brand her with another blistering kiss before letting her leave.

She returned to her chamber in a daze, dressed quickly, splashed water on her face, and tried to force her attention to the duties of the day. She touched her fingers to her lips for the hundredth time as she descended the stairs from the upper chambers. It warmed her through to the core each time she did it, a new memory from the night coming back to her like a secret.

Duty jolted her back to reality as she stepped into the small passageway next to the open solar door. The king was seated at the table and men were pouring into the room to stand along the walls, next to the hearth, behind the king, and wherever else they could fit.

"After you, my lady," Hawk said, stepping into the passageway behind her from the stairs. Aelwin and Red were directly behind him. "There has been an urgent summons from the king. Aelwin knocked on your door, but Gertie told him you had already risen for the day."

The warmth in his eyes as he looked at her made her weak in the knees. "Y-yes," she stammered, quickly averting her eyes from Hawk lest Aelwin or Red see the longing she feared was clearly visible on her face.

She stepped into the solar with the other men. Aelwin positioned himself at her side, Hawk and Red at her back. If she leaned back even slightly, her body would touch Hawk's. It took all of her concentration to focus on what the king was saying and not on the heat radiating from him so close behind her.

"Llywelyn and Daffydd are on the move," King Edward announced. "My army will be ready to deploy at first light on the morrow. We will march west and cut them off before they can lay waste to any more of my kingdom. This is not a warning to Llywelyn and his ungrateful, greedy brother," the king's voice was full of scorn as he spoke. "This is a fight to the death. I want them both, dead or alive." He paused a moment then said, "No, I will take Llywelyn dead or alive, but I want Daffydd alive. The man has crossed me one too many times and will pay the price for his treachery. He will not have the mercy of a swift death."

He looked around the room at each person, stopping for a heartbeat longer when his eyes met Alyce's. She saw a muscle ripple in his jaw before his gaze continued to roam over the men gathered in the room. "Kill any Welsh rebel who does not yield immediately. Take as hostage any English traitors who chose sympathy for the Welsh over loyalty to their king. I want this ended, once and for all."

Murmurs of assent filled the air, but Alyce felt her gut twist. The king's message was clear: if Cynwulf was among the rebels he was to be captured and brought before the king. It sickened her to think of what he would do to her brother now that she knew what a "light" punishment looked like. Cynwulf would receive far worse than a flogging and a flayed back.

"Lady Alyce."

The king's words started Alyce out of her own thoughts. She bobbed a quick curtsy. "Yes, Sire?"

"I will be leaving my lady-wife here with her guard. I expect you and your commander—" he nodded toward Aelwin—"to protect her and Hawkspur at all costs."

"Yes, Sire," Alyce agreed.

"I expect you are well aware that any Marcher castle that harbors Welsh rebels, offers them assistance, or aids them in any way will be seized, and the liege and commander will be hanged?"

She did not blink or show any outward signs of distress even as the bile rose in her throat. "Of course, Sire."

"That includes any rebels who are relations. Do not let foolishness lead you into a situation that could be perceived as disloyalty to the crown."

"I will not, Sire." Alyce felt humiliated by the king's reprimand, though she could not fault him based on the events of the last sennight.

He nodded, then said, "I will send the commander of the queen's guard to meet with your commander. The fortification of this fortress will be your responsibility, Lady Alyce. Do not fail me."

"Yes, Sire." Alyce would do everything in her power to ensure no harm came to the queen or Hawkspur. If she succeeded, it would bolster her argument that she did not need to take Montworth as husband to keep the castle secure.

She would figure out the issue regarding her lack of heirs later.

The king pushed to his feet. "Everyone—including you, Hawk—prepare your troops for departure."

Alyce felt her heart sink as the men filed out of the room. In less than a day, the man she knew she'd love forever would be leaving Hawkspur, possibly for good.

*

Alyce was exhausted by the time she climbed the stairs to the upper chambers at the end of the day. The castle had been a hive of activity as preparations were underway for the king's army to march in the morning. She and Aelwin had doubled the guards at every point around the fortress and the perimeter of the village and fields surrounding the castle. They had met with merchants and village elders to review the emergency procedures should Hawkspur come under attack. And she had consulted with the queen to ensure her comfort and security while the king rode at the head of his army.

Queen Eleanor and her ladies were prepared to wait for as long as it took for the king to return victorious, which could be as little as a day or as long as weeks or months. For her own sanity, Alyce prayed it was a matter of days and not months. She missed the familiarity of her own chamber and her bed.

As she entered the passageway to the upper chambers, she could feel her heartbeat increasing with the possibility of seeing Hawk one more time before he left in the morning. Her skin shivered in anticipation of his touch, even as her common sense told her it was selfish to spend another night in Hawk's bed, expecting him to forsake his much-needed rest the night before going to battle.

She wanted to scream her dismay when she saw that the door to Hawk's chamber was open, revealing the room had been emptied of Hawk's few possessions. She stepped inside the room, looking for any sign he would return. Hot tears stung her eyes as she realized he had left already, and without bidding her farewell.

"I will not cry," she muttered with determination, turning on her heel to leave the room and retire to her chamber.

"Gertie," she said, swinging her door open, "I—" She stopped midsentence as she realized Gertie was not in the room. Her limbs sagged with relief and her eyes blurred at the sight of Hawk standing next to the hearth, Ffyddlon's tail thumping against the floor as he scratched her head.

His arms were around her, taking her breath away, and he had her pressed up to the door before she knew what was happening.

"I thought you had left," she said, her voice a pitiful sob as she threw her arms around his neck and buried her face against his throat.

"I had to see you before I go," he said huskily. He cupped his hand around the back of her neck, pressing with his thumb to tip her face up to his. "My men and I are to find Llywelyn's camp under cover of the night and report their activity back to the king. His spies have informed him of the Welsh rebel's destination, but the king is taking no chances that they will change their course and avoid his ambush."

"You are leaving tonight?" Her hopes of another night in his arms were dashed.

"Aye. Hunter has already departed, and we are to follow him shortly." He leaned down to touch her lips with his in a gentle kiss. "I have only time to say goodbye."

"No," she whimpered, embarrassed at how pathetic she sounded.

Hawk brushed his thumb over her cheek. "I will come back."

She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. She would not spend their last moments together crying or begging him not to go. He had his duty to attend to, and she had hers. "Godspeed to you. You will always be welcome at Hawkspur."

"Will I always be welcome to your bed, my love?"

A thrill tickled up her neck at being called his love. She smiled, saying with sincerity, "Always."

He kissed her with renewed urgency, his tongue plundering her mouth as his hands roamed over her body, pulling at her clothing to loosen it. She kissed and touched him with matching urgency, yanking at his shirt where it was tucked into his braies and chausses, wanting to touch his body and feel the hard plains of his chest under her fingers.

She stopped and looked at him in confusion when she encountered a layer of tightly wound linen instead of the warmth of his skin.

"Sorry, love," he said with a smirk. "Red's work to keep my shirt from rubbing the scabs off my back."

"Oh, God," she said with horror, "of course!"

"That doesn't mean I don't want to see you naked," he drawled, tugging her gown and chemise over her head. "Or that I'm not going to take you right here against the door." He stepped back once she was naked and looked his fill at her.

Alyce's instinct was to cover her bare body with her arms, but she would not let the image he took of her into battle be that of her shrinking away from him. Instead, she loosened her braid to shake her hair out over her shoulders.

"My God, you are magnificent," he said, his eyes scorching her body as they roamed over her breasts and hips, down her legs, and back up to her face.

She reached for him then, tugging at the ties on his braies. He hitched her leg up over his hip and cupped his hand around the back of her thigh to hold it in place as he stroked the wet folds of her with his other hand.

"Now, Hawk," she urged, wrapping her arms around his neck and lifting her other leg to leverage herself against his hips. He lifted her with his arms around her back and pressed her into the door as he entered her in one swift thrust. He kept one arm wrapped tightly around her and with the other he pushed the hair out of her face and ravished her mouth, his tongue flicking and caressing her in the same rhythm as his cock pounding into her as she squeezed around him, pulling him deeper into her.

He kept up the rhythm until her legs quivered and she was gasping and moaning against his lips. With another powerful stroke, he shuttered against her as she continued to lick and nip at his mouth. They didn't stop kissing as he pulled his hips away from hers and lowered her legs to the floor.

When he finally lifted his mouth from hers, he rested his forehead against her saying, "If I die tonight, I will die a happy man."

"Don't say that Hawk!" She fisted her hands into his shirt and shook him once. "You have to come back to me because…" She stopped, pressing her lips together. She had almost said the words.

"Because what?" he coaxed, his eyes and face suffused with so much gentleness and adoration that it was her undoing. God forbid something did happen to him tonight, she could not let him go to his grave not knowing how she felt.

"Because I love you." The smile that broke across his face at her confession was all the assurance she needed that he felt the same. "It is foolish, and the queen told me not to do it because I cannot have you, but I love you."

"Who says you cannot have me?" He looked genuinely shocked, and she wished she had not said it.

"You need heirs, Hawk." She sighed, laying her hand over his cheek. "I love you enough that I will not hold you back from taking a wife and siring the sons you deserve."

His eyes opened wide in surprise and then narrowed at her. "You would be my mistress?"

She nodded. "Until you marry, yes."

"And then what?" His voice was gruff with anger.

"Then I will let you go and be thankful for the time I've had with you."

He stepped back from her, roughly tying his braies. "You tell me you love me, and then tell me I am to marry some other woman, and you will just let me go?"

She stepped closer to him, framing his face in her hands again and forcing him to look at her. "Let us not discuss the future, Hawk. Right now, I want to remember the feeling of your body against mine and I want you to leave here knowing that I love you. You must concentrate on your mission and come back to me so I can tell you I love you at least one more time."

Hawk sighed, then pulled her into him. "I will come back, and you will tell me you love me, more than once."

Alyce did not say that would be impossible because the queen would never allow him to marry a barren woman. Instead, she kissed him and told him she loved him again.