Chapter Twenty-Three

"T his is my decision, Hawk, not yours," Alyce insisted, straightening her shoulders. "I will not slip in through a side gate and try to slink to my chamber undetected. I plan to walk through the front gate as Lady of Hawkspur."

The bedraggled group stood at the crest of the final hill, looking down at Hawkspur Castle, its high walls, heavy towers, and sharp corners silhouetted by the first rays of sunlight breaking over the horizon.

Hawk touched his finger cautiously to her neck where the skin had been split by the sharp blade of the brute's knife. "You look a fright, love."

Her face warmed at the endearment that seemed to fall so freely from his lips, especially in earshot of his men. Was it meant only to offer comfort in the wake of a perilous night? Or did he truly feel something for her?

The bigger question was, did she want him to love her? She decided now was not the time to ponder what it all meant when she had only just survived a night with more emotional upheaval than one should ever have to endure in the span of a handful of hours.

"Word will get out that Cynwulf is gone, and when it does, it will be pandemonium." She looked from the castle in the distance to the man standing at her side. The connection between Cynwulf's unease since the arrival of Hawk, his confession of discovering his father's identity, and his desperate actions of the last several days had become clear in the light of the disastrous rendezvous in the forest. "Better that I forestall the rumors that are bound to spread quicker than fire."

"'Tis noble," Hawk said with a slow nod, "but it will not be easy. You are exhausted and blood splattered. Aelwin and his men will want answers, demand to know who did this to you and why. They will be looking for decisive leadership, assurance all will be fine without Cynwulf to lead them."

She breathed in a deep, fortifying breath. How could she explain all the thoughts and decisions that had been swirling in her head during the trek back to Hawkspur? Her whole world had been turned upside down since the last time the sun set over the village and her home. She could either return to the castle and wait meekly for others to determine what happened next or, she could plant her feet, square her shoulders, and lean into the storm that was about to descend upon her home.

Her home.

She had the rule of the Marcher laws to back her claim to Hawkspur, and Isabella Mortimer of Oswestry Castle to hold up as proof a woman could hold a fortress through times of strife. The gossips reveled in telling of Lady Isabella's antics and the bards sang joyfully of her successes in garrisoning her castle and thwarting the Welsh rebels who'd assumed her a weak target.

"In truth," she said, swallowing hard to suppress the impulse to ignore her failings—but she must face them to have any chance of following in the path of Isabella Mortimer. "I am ashamed of how I behaved this night, and how I responded to everything that happened. You witnessed me at my weakest, but I am more than that, and it will not happen again."

"You are loyal to your brother, and you fought to protect him," Hawk said evenly. "There is no shame in fighting to save those you love, even when they are beyond saving. You had a knife to your throat, your life in peril, and the moment you were free, you went to Ffyddlon. You are selfless to the point of being reckless, but you are not weak."

Hawk lifted his hand to smooth over her hair, but she stepped out of his reach to stop him from comforting her. If he touched her, it would be too easy to let him wrap his arms around her and shield her from her challenges while he murmured soothing words into her ear.

She had to boldly face whatever came her way, or forever be at the mercy of the decisions others made for her. Burying her face in Hawk's chest and hiding in the shelter of his arms whenever life became difficult would yield nothing—unless she was willing to be content with floating through life as an aimless vessel, always at the mercy of those who would steer her where they saw fit.

Hawk stood stone still, his arms at his side, looking down at her. There was a flash of something unreadable on his face when she stepped out of his reach before he masked it with a look of indifference as he listened to her. Was it anger? Hurt? Perhaps he was disappointed or thought her foolhardy. She would not try to analyze what he was feeling now; as callous as it felt, her focus had to be solely on what she intended to do.

"Hawkspur is the only home I have left, and those people—" she lifted her chin in the direction of the village sprawled before the castle—"are the only family I have remaining. By rights, Hawkspur belongs to me, and I intend to do whatever it takes to keep it."

Ffyddlon let out a restless whine in Red's arms. All three men had taken it in turns to carry her on the journey home, but she seemed to have a special fondness for the Viking. She ruffled the fur on the dog's side and gave Red an appreciative smile. He had a grin on his face, and Alyce dared to hope he did not think her way of thinking daft.

The small gesture bolstered Alyce's confidence. She turned to see Hunter's reaction, but he was warily scanning the forest behind them. The odd, broody man had been gentle and kind when he tried to calm her after they escaped, but after the terse discussion with Hawk, and his commander's refusal to give him leave to follow Cynwulf, Hunter had hardly looked at her or spoken to her.

She turned to face Hawk again, expecting him to argue against her decision, but it would not deter her.

He surprised her when he nodded at her once, held out his arm, and said, "Lead the way, my lady."

*

Hawk, Red, and Hunter walked side by side behind Alyce as she approached the gate of Hawkspur. He didn't think Alyce had any idea how much strength she would need in order to face the next few days, but he would stand behind her. Not only would she have to convince Aelwin and his men to acknowledge her as their liege with Cynwulf gone, but she also had a king to contend with—a king with a legendary temper.

He followed silently behind her with his men, the message clear. She called to the guard, demanding entrance, and the heavy gate was lifted moments later. As she passed into the courtyard, she ordered one of the guards to find Aelwin and bring him to the barracks, along with any other soldiers not standing guard on the high wall.

Men gawked and openly stared at her as she stated her commands. With leaves and dirt adorning her disheveled hair, a cut along her throat the length of a blade, and dried blood on her face and neck, she looked like a Viking berserker who had defied death and was ready to take on the world.

It was little wonder Red couldn't stop grinning at her.

"Quit mooning at her," Hawk grumbled as men closed in around Alyce, demanding to know what had happened to her and where Cynwulf was. She did not let them deter her from her course, walking with steady determined strides toward the barracks.

"If you don't keep her, I will," the damned Viking said, his tone more cheerful than Hawk liked.

"Are you willing to pay the price in my place for her?" He hadn't meant to snarl at his friend, but his defenses were up. The king would be at Hawkspur Castle by afternoon, and it was only a matter of time before he would have to confess his failings of the last night.

King Edward was not one to brook insubordination lightly, especially from his most trusted knight. His only hope was that saving Edward's life on the battlefield would buy him enough sympathy to keep him from being completely destroyed.

Red cringed. "Thor's thunder, but I do not relish your situation," he said with a shake of his head, his tone serious. After a few more strides, he asked in a low voice, "Do you regret your actions?"

"No," Hawk said with a short, bitter laugh. "But I may be tougher to say the same once Edward is finished with me."

Hunter surprised him by laying his hand on his shoulder. "She best be worth it." He squeezed Hawk's shoulder once, then released it to move to Red's side. "Give me the dog. I'll bring her to the kennel master to be stitched."

"Tell the kennel master to bring her to Alyce's chamber when he's finished," Hawk said, knowing Alyce would never agree to her pet being kept with the other hounds.

Hunter nodded as he took Ffyddlon from Red and started toward the keep.

Aelwin was crossing the bailey in their direction with long quick, strides as the messenger struggled to keep pace with him. When he reached Alyce, she turned to him with a look of relief on her face and placed her hand on his arm. Hawk felt an unfamiliar jab of jealousy in his gut, and he stepped closer to her in a protective gesture that did not go unnoticed by Aelwin.

"I would like to speak with you first," Alyce said, her voice steady, "before I address your men." She gestured toward the side of the barracks building. Cynwulf's second-in-command looked at her suspiciously but complied without question.

"Hawk, please accompany us," she added.

Once they were out of earshot of the other men, with Red glaring threateningly at anyone who tried to come close, Alyce said to Aelwin, "Cynwulf will not be coming back to Hawkspur. You and I must do all we can to protect the castle and the village."

Hawk had not expected her to cut straight to the heart of the matter so abruptly, but he admired her candor.

"Hawk can attest to all that I say." Alyce took a deep, calming breath before she continued. "Cynwulf left with Welsh rebels during the night."

Aelwin looked like someone had struck him on the head with an iron cask. His eyes were bulging and blinking at the same time, as though he couldn't focus on what was happening. Based on this genuine shock, Hawk concluded Aelwin was not privy to the actions of his lord and commander.

"I cannot believe that he would willingly leave with Welsh rebels," Aelwin said with bewilderment. "He must have been forced. We must dispatch a patrol of our fastest and best to retrieve him."

Hawk could see in Aelwin's face as he went from disbelief to determination, his mind working to find solutions.

"It is my opinion," Hawk interjected, "that Cynwulf went with them to keep the rebels from coming to Hawkspur. From what he has told Alyce and what we witnessed tonight, your commander did not intend to betray anyone, but he exercised poor judgment and lost control of the situation."

"We do not have time to discuss details," Alyce said evenly, but Hawk could hear the despair in her voice. "The king will be here in a matter of hours, and we must be prepared. I will answer your questions at a later time. For now, what you must know is that Cynwulf…" she paused, swallowed hard, then continued, "has developed a sympathy for Daffydd, Prince Llywelyn's brother, and was coerced into sharing information with the Welsh rebels that he should not have. If he returns to Hawkspur now, he will face the wrath of the king, and cast suspicion upon us all." She swiped harshly at a tear rolling down her cheek and cleared her throat. "I am now Lady of Hawkspur. I will ask you and your men to swear fealty to me. We will do what we must to protect the castle and the people of Hawkspur from the rebels. But first, we must convince the king of our continued loyalty to the crown."

Aelwin contemplated this new information for a long moment, then lifted his face and looked at both of them with sharp, clear eyes. "This is highly unusual, my lady," Aelwin said, his voice shaky. "But Cynwulf has long praised your abilities. He trusted you, and I will do the same."

Alyce released a huff of air and Hawk saw some of the tension release from her shoulders. She had cleared the first obstacle.

They returned to the men gathered in front of the barracks. Alyce walked directly to a bench along the outer wall of the building, studying it as though trying to discern how she could climb atop. Hawk went to her, turned her by her shoulders, then placed both hands on her waist and lifted her to stand on the heavy plank of wood. She tried to smooth her clothing once she was steady on her feet, brushing her hands over the front of her gown. Hawk smiled inwardly at her wasted gesture—there was no saving her clothing.

She stood tall before the men in a filthy gown that could not be smoothed into place, draped in his oversized tunic with the swath cut from the hem for Ffyddlon, and smeared in blood and dirt. She looked more like a London street peasant than a lady of a castle, but Hawk still thought her beautiful.

He forced himself to look away from Alyce and turn toward the gathered men before any of them took notice of the way he stared at her. At least a hundred men stood in the yard before them, their voices growing louder as they became more alarmed by Alyce's state and Cynwulf's absence.

Aelwin raised his hand in a fist and the men reluctantly quieted, turning their attention to him. He still looked too green to be the lead of Cynwulf's army, but Hawk had to admit that his control over his men was admirable. It was the kind of control that came from being respected.

"An incident has occurred resulting in Cynwulf taking his leave of Hawkspur Castle," Alyce said loudly, a slight tremor to her voice.

"Where is he?" someone yelled from the middle of the gathered soldiers.

"Is he alive?" another called out.

Alyce held up her hands to call for silence, and Hawk turned a hard glare on the crowd, his height giving him the advantage of being visible to most of the men. Some of them were looking at Alyce, but those who were watching Hawk started nudging the others around them and soon the crowd was quiet again.

"Cynwulf is alive," Alyce called out, then dropped her chin to look at the ground. Hawk could see her repeatedly balling and flexing her hands in an attempt to regain her composure. He wanted to reach out to her and encourage her to stay strong, but he would not diminish her authority in that way. His pride in her grew as she sucked in a deep breath, then lifted her head to face the crowd with a look of absolute resolve.

"Cynwulf is alive," she repeated. "He made decisions that he cannot undo, and now he has done what he must to give all of us a chance to prove Hawkspur is still loyal to the crown."

The men broke out in yells of disbelief and denial.

"I have witnesses," Alyce yelled at the top of her voice to the crowd. When the clamor of their voices was reduced to a steady hum of mumbled words, she continued. "I assure you, none of you love and respect my brother more than I, and it is breaking my heart to admit his betrayal, but it is true."

The men appeared stunned, and Hawk could see the gravity of her words sinking in.

"We will continue as we always have," Alyce said, her voice steadier. "We will protect Hawkspur and the village from rebels, and we will protect the border in the name of King Edward. Nothing about your service to Hawkspur or our duty as a Marcher castle has changed, save that Aelwin is now your commander, and you will answer to him." She paused to scan the crowd, meeting the gazes of the men to ensure she had their full attention. "And Aelwin will answer to me as Lady of Hawkspur."

Men started to shift uncomfortably, darting glances at Aelwin to gauge his reaction to the announcement. Hawk balled his fists at his side, ready to beat them all into submission with his bare hands if they did not comply.

"I will remind you," Alyce said loudly, steadying her gaze at the men before her, "I have served as steward of this castle since the day my brother became lord at the passing of our uncle. Cynwulf consulted me in nearly everything, and he depended upon my expertise to manage the stores, oversee the planting and harvesting, negotiate trades, and see to the wellbeing of the villagers. I know all of you, and you know me."

Hawk watched as nigh on all of the men nodded their heads, even if reluctantly. The scales were beginning to tip in her favor, and the esteem they held for the lady might be the key to buying herself the time she needed to prove herself.

Pressing her advantage, Alyce continued, "I know as well as all of you that I am lacking in the art of swordsmanship, the finer points of castle defense, or the strategies of war. For that, I will build a council of trusted advisors, one of whom will be Aelwin."

Murmurs of approval rippled through the crowd.

"Cynwulf relinquished himself to save us. If we stand together, we can protect Hawkspur, your families, and our homes. It is what Cynwulf expects us to do; let us prove his faith in us is well placed."

Hawk turned to look at her as she said the last. He felt a swell of admiration for the lady, standing with her shoulders squared and hands folded clasped in front of her, and thought her as regal and poised as a queen. Her insides were likely churning as she anxiously awaited their response, but on the outside, she was cool and collected.

Aelwin broke the silence. "We are stronger united."

He turned to stand in front of Alyce in her elevated position on the bench and took her hand in both of his to kiss the back of it. Then he knelt to the ground and swore his fealty to her as Lady of Hawkspur, as his liege.

Slowly the men followed their commander's lead, kneeling in a wave that started at the front of the gathered men and continued until the only man left standing was Red, who was watching the whole event from the back of the crowd with that stupid grin on his face. He met Hawk's gaze and nodded his approval.

"Rise," Alyce commanded in a clear voice that carried over the kneeling men. When they stood, facing her again, she added, "Let us not forget in our hearts the good in Cynwulf, but now we must prove Hawkspur is unwavering in its loyalty to England. We will protect the castle and border against the Welsh rebels. We will also protect those of you here who are Welsh and who have sworn your loyalty to Hawkspur, to me, and thus to the crown. Hawkspur is as much your home as ours."

She stood looking over the men for a long moment, then nodded her head once, seemingly finished with her remarks. She reached out her hand, and Hawk took it, ready to assist her to the ground, but she hesitated, then stretched to her full height again.

"Aelwin," she said in a voice loud enough for his men to hear her.

He turned to her immediately. "Aye, my lady?"

"Prepare for the arrival of the King of England."