Chapter 4

Chapter

Four

Twenty minutes before my alarm was set to go off, I woke from a sound sleep to the dulcet tones of someone punching the heavy bag in the workout room down the hall, Rogue whining at the bedroom door, Sean yelling downstairs, and the angry screeches of our house dragon.

"Well, good morning to you all too." I sighed and threw back the covers.

Baby Daisy had curled up on Sean's side of our bed for her morning nap. I kissed her little head and she sighed in her sleep.

Our pup had been a gift from Theol, the same fae who'd given me a week in shifter form. Last year, courtesy of infection with the shifter virus and sorcerer magic, my half-shifter heritage had resulted in the creation of a wolf version of me. Malcolm had named her Daisy. I wasn't able to shift, but Daisy could leap out of me in either magical or solid form. When Malcolm and I visited the Broken World, Daisy served as our companion, guard, and guide. But only hours after we returned, she'd chosen to sacrifice her life to save mine after a sniper shot me, and I'd had no way to save her.

In return for rescuing him from a Dark Fae, Theol had offered me a miracle: the ability to shift into a wolf form of my own. Instead, I'd asked him to save Daisy if he could. Moments later, Sean and I held Baby Daisy in our arms.

So Baby Daisy wasn't our offspring—she was me . My wolf self reborn as a pup, with dashes of my magic, shifter magic, and fae magic all blended together. What she'd be able to do when she got older, we didn't know. At the moment she was mostly just an adorable agent of chaos.

Rogue started scratching at the door, so I got up to open it. He made a beeline for the sanctuary of his doggy bed by the window.

Esme, in dragon form, flew into the room and landed on the bed, our brand-new TV remote in her claws. Well, that explained Sean's uncharacteristic shouting.

Esme's new habit of stealing and hiding everything in our house that wasn't nailed down was driving us all up the wall. Pū?is were notoriously mischievous, at least according to legend. Esme was so young when I'd received her as a gift that she hadn't yet developed bad habits. Now mischief had become as important to her as guarding us and our home.

I reached for the remote. The little gray-and-scarlet dragon hissed and took to the air, her wings lifting her well out of my reach. Aggravated, I jumped for the remote. Esme dodged my hands and darted out of the room with her prize. She flew down the hall in the direction of the workout room and the modified cat door/dragon hatch that led to the backyard.

My shoulders slumped. "Fantastic," I told Rogue. "That's the third remote this week. And I can't find any of my phone chargers either. She even got the one that was in my locked car, for crying out loud. I have no idea how she did that."

Rogue rolled over and put his paw over his eyes. Your cat-dragon, your problem , his body language seemed to say.

"Thanks for the sympathy, dog," I muttered. He snuffled and wiggled deeper into the bed.

By the time I emerged from the bathroom, having showered and dressed, the house had quieted except for Rogue's snoring and the incessant steady thump-thump-thump of large fists pounding the shifter-proof heavy bag.

Matthias spent more time in the workout room than anywhere else. Sean assured me seemingly obsessive exercise was both healthy and typical for a newly turned shifter. I had my doubts. The nonstop thumps made me edgy. I knew better than to ignore my instincts, especially when it came to pack members.

So I broke one of my most sacred personal rules and decided to have a difficult talk with a difficult person before I had my first cup of coffee of the day.

The thumps ceased before I reached the workout room. Sharp werewolf ears couldn't have missed the sound of my footsteps, though the floor didn't creak and my shoes didn't make any noise I could hear. Nothing much got past a shifter, even a new one still getting used to…well, everything.

When I got to the doorway, Matthias stood at attention, his arms at his sides. He didn't have a Court uniform any more, so he'd adopted black joggers and a dark gray T-shirt with the Tomb Mountain Pack logo as his daily attire. Maybe after so much upheaval, he found comfort in a new kind of uniform.

He'd spent more than an hour punching the bag bare-handed, judging by his swollen, bloody knuckles. That wasn't much of an injury by either werewolf or Vampire Court enforcer standards, but I didn't like it. At all. I knew better than anyone that hurting himself was a sign of the trauma and abuse that he'd internalized. I empathized because I still struggled with that myself, though not as much as I used to.

"Good morning," I said with a smile. "Want to take a break and have a cup of coffee with me on the deck?"

I'd phrased it as a question, but he accepted it as an order, as I'd figured he would. I didn't know exactly how long he'd belonged to the Vampire Court. Long enough for him to obey without question and forget what it felt like to make his own decisions, apparently. That hurt my heart more than anything else about his situation.

He followed me downstairs and waited in the kitchen while I poured two cups of the nectar of the gods. As I added cream and sugar to mine, I overheard Sean in our home office leading a video meeting with Maclin Security employees. The reassuring rumble of his voice made me smile despite my tension.

Mugs in hand, Matthias and I went out the back patio door to the deck and settled into chairs at our four-seater table. Like Sean and Daniel always did, he automatically took the seat with the best view of the entire backyard so he could keep watch for potential threats.

The chair creaked when he sat down. He'd put on additional muscle since becoming a werewolf. Shifters tended to be muscular but more lean than bulky because they ran in wolf form so much. Matthias seemed determined to be the exception.

He might be trying to compensate in his human form for his wolf's traumatized condition, which he perceived as weakness though none of us saw him that way. Maybe he thought his wolf would grow bigger and stronger and be able to hide his trauma better. Not only would that not work, it threatened to make the psychological damage he'd experienced worse.

And maybe he thought if he looked the part, he could convince himself and everyone else he was thriving, when he was anything but.

I didn't ask him how he was; he'd only tell me he was fine. Instead, I sipped my coffee and looked around the backyard as the late January sunshine warmed us. My gaze swept over the thick stand of trees than lined our property and hid our house from view of our neighbors over the back fence.

Hmm…maybe Esme had a stash in the woods of all the items she'd swiped from our house. I should ask Sean to sniff around if he hadn't already thought to look there. All that stuff had to be somewhere . Esme was a dragon, after all, and what was a dragon without her hoard ?

My thoughts returned to Matthias. Sean might be his alpha—a situation both had to live with but neither would have chosen—but I was the heart of the Tomb Mountain Pack. As such, I'd helped Matthias change into a werewolf without the torment a newly turned shifter usually experienced. Now I needed to help him transition from a Court possession to a pack werewolf. A Change took minutes. Relearning how to be a man with free will and the love and support of a pack would take much longer.

I didn't have a step-by-step plan for this. How could I predict what Matthias would need from me from one day to the next, or even from hour to hour? I just followed my instincts and my heart. They'd done a pretty good job so far letting me know what to do and how to do it.

"What are your plans for the day?" I asked.

He rested his coffee mug on his knee and held my gaze for a few beats before lowering his stare to the wolf's-head pendant and sword ring I kept on a chain around my neck. No shifters could meet my eyes for very long. Though I wasn't a werewolf, I had a dominant presence in addition to being Sean's consort.

"I have no plans." His carefully neutral voice and expression gave nothing away, but I recognized the aura of loneliness when I saw it.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't be here twenty-four hours a day to provide the support he needed and relied on, though I doubted he'd admit that to anyone, even himself. He'd be okay here in our home, but okay wasn't the same as getting better. I ought to know.

"I could use your help with something," I said.

He straightened automatically. "Yes?"

"Charles Vaughan has targeted us. The best defense is a good offense. We need ammunition. I would like you to compile all the information about Charles and the Court you have that might be helpful to us."

"I can't accept this assignment." His expression went flat. "I can tell you nothing I saw, heard, or learned about the Court during my time there."

His tone told me his silence was not a matter of choice. "They put a spell on you?" I asked, my voice gentle. "Is it a geas? "

"Yes." He flinched, as if simply hearing the word caused him pain. Maybe his grimace was at the memory of having the geas put on him to begin with.

I'd never experienced that kind of spell, thank goodness, but I knew a geas caused enormous suffering and even death if violated. Most included spellwork that killed the recipient outright if someone attempted to remove the spell. It was precisely the kind of move I'd expect the vampires to make, and yet my disgust and anger made my vision go red around the edges. Magic sparked on my fingertips.

Matthias apparently misinterpreted my reaction as anger directed at him. "I am sorry," he said earnestly.

"Don't be." I touched his arm. "We'll come back to that another time. Does the geas keep you from gathering new information from whatever sources you can find and passing it along to us?"

He tilted his head and considered. "I don't think so."

"Digging around might be dangerous. Are you comfortable with that?"

His nostrils flared like a wolf who'd caught a scent. "I am."

Sean had told me that information—especially when it was connected to a mystery or danger—triggered a werewolf's instincts like a kind of prey. That, in addition to their strength, agility, and other physiological advantages, was a big reason so many shifters went into private investigation and security work or related careers. Wolves liked to hunt, no matter who or what they were hunting.

And maybe Matthias didn't need to be sitting around our house marinating in his own dark thoughts. He needed a mission.

Matthias wouldn't be a stranger to digging up facts and rumors. He didn't have the Court's resources at his disposal anymore, but I didn't think that would hold him back all that much. He was as intelligent and capable as anyone I'd ever met.

"Then let's see what you can find out about current conditions at the Court and we'll go from there," I said. "Whatever you need, just let us know. If you can be ready with at least a preliminary report tomorrow morning, that would be great." After a moment, I added, "By the way, Arkady is working on gathering intel too. She'll be here tomorrow morning at eight to tell us what she's found out."

He didn't react visibly, but his words sounded clipped when he said, "Then I will ensure my report is especially thorough and ready by then."

Last year, Matthias and Arkady had been an item for a few months—an on-again, off-again relationship that couldn't survive their very different perspectives on what it meant to work for the Vampire Court and the demands their respective jobs put on their lives.

Now Matthias's life had turned upside down. Meanwhile, Arkady was now my business partner and happily in lust with Ronan. I wasn't sure how Matthias felt about their very different situations, other than his tone indicated some raw feelings remained.

"What will you be doing today?" he asked.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. "Sean, Ben, and I have a meeting with an attorney later this morning, and then tonight I have a…" I swallowed hard. "A dinner engagement."

He leaned forward and seemed to…loom larger, as if he'd grown a foot in both height and width in that moment. His golden shifter magic prickled on my skin. "You're troubled by your dinner engagement tonight?" he rumbled. "You don't feel safe?"

The question itself didn't startle me, but his growl and sudden aggressiveness did. Everything in his body language just now reminded me of Ben, who was third in the pack hierarchy, and even Nan.

Like last night when he'd seen me faint, Matthias reacted instantly and instinctively to a perceived threat—more intensely and more quickly than I'd expected. But what did that mean?

I could lie to Matthias and tell him I wasn't worried about tonight's dinner and maybe he'd believe me, but I didn't want to tell him anything but truth, even if a white lie would make him feel better. The Vamp Court operated on lies, manipulation, cruelty, and victimization. Our pack didn't tolerate any of those things. Sean and I had chosen to lead by example in this and every other core value of the Tomb Mountain Pack.

"Yes, I'm concerned," I told Matthias, my hands folded around my mug. Even empty, its familiar weight reassured me. "I'm meeting with a dangerous person. I can't know for sure what they'll do, or try to do. But I'll have Malcolm with me and we'll fight if anyone comes at us. We'll get back here safe if we have to burn the place we're going and everyone in it to the ground."

His magic no longer prickled, but he continued to lean forward and his frown remained. "If Sean approves, I will go with you," he said. "Two allies at your back are better than one."

"Thank you for offering," I said sincerely. "But this is something I have to do on my own."

"All right." After an uncharacteristic hesitation, he asked, "Are you meeting with Charles Vaughan?"

"No," I promised. "I'm not going anywhere near Charles or Northbourne."

The tension in his shoulders eased a bit. "Good." He set his coffee cup on the table and met my gaze again, this time for longer. The reason for his direct gaze became immediately apparent when he asked, "Can I ask you to be honest with me?"

From some people I might have taken that question personally, but not from him. He'd probably experienced very little honesty prior to joining our pack.

"I will never be anything but honest with you," I stated. "I might not always be able to tell you something, but if that's the case I'll say so. I won't lie to you. None of us will. "

He didn't seem convinced, but he didn't argue the point. "Sean gives others in the pack orders, but rarely to me. He asks me rather than commands me. Why is that?"

That was a more complicated question than he probably thought. It also intersected with what I'd noticed about his demeanor earlier in this conversation. How to answer in a way that would make sense?

When I didn't respond immediately, he added, "I am more comfortable with orders. Requests and options are…confusing. I wondered if his way of addressing me was punishment for attacking your pack."

"Sean isn't passive-aggressive," I assured him. "He's absolutely still angry about you attacking us on Valas's orders and kidnapping Daniel and me. If you'd survived the mansion collapse but hadn't been Changed, he would have killed you."

"He has said that, yes." He didn't seem bothered that Sean had expressed that sentiment. "I would have done the same if our situation was reversed."

"You asked why he doesn't give you orders like he does the others," I said. "Two main reasons. First, he understands what you've been through better than you think. He doesn't feel sorry for you, but he knows you and your wolf. Alphas aren't the merciless killing machines some people think. They're protectors first and foremost. Part of that is treating each member of the pack as he believes they should be treated, based on who they are and what they need."

Matthias thought about that for a bit. "And second?" he asked.

This was the tricky part. How could I explain to Matthias who and what he was as a man, werewolf, and pack member?

I was suddenly reminded of my own recent epiphany about being the heart of our pack. No one could have told me I was our heart or explain what that meant. Like Dorothy realizing she had the power to take herself home without the Wizard's help, I'd had to figure it out for myself. I had to guide Matthias to a similar revelation.

"Have you noticed how Sean speaks to Nan and Ben versus other members of the pack?" I asked. "He rarely gives them orders either."

"Which makes sense, because they're his beta and third and much closer to him in dominance." He frowned. "I don't see the connection."

"Give it a minute. What would you do if you felt any member of our pack was in danger?"

"Find the danger and kill it," he said automatically.

"Why?"

"Because…" He frowned, probably searching for the right words. "Because that's why I am here," he finished.

"Most werewolves wouldn't have phrased it like that," I said. "Of course shifters are protective of their pack mates, but they wouldn't say it's their reason for being. If I asked Sean, Nan, or Ben that question, though, they would answer the same way. So would I, if you'd asked me." I rested my elbows on my knees. "Do you know what that means?"

I knew he got it when his poker face disappeared and his eyes widened. This was certainly the first time I'd ever seen Matthias startled.

"When you realize who you are, how much power you possess, and the responsibility you carry, that's when you're capable of holding up an entire mansion to protect those you love," I told him, alluding to what I'd done to keep us alive after Valas's palatial lair collapsed with us trapped in the cellar. "Sean, Nan, Ben, you, and I are protectors. It's who we are. It's why we're here."

"You believe my wolf is dominant." Matthias glanced at his knuckles. They'd healed from punching the heavy bag without wrappings or gloves, but blood had dried on his skin. He brushed it off as he thought. "I am physically strong, but my wolf isn't ready for a leadership role."

His wolf remained battered and cowed by so many years of servitude at the Court. I'd seen that for myself during his Change, and Sean could observe it every time he looked into Matthias's eyes.

"Not yet," I agreed. "Give it time. You're still healing. I wasn't ready for my role when I joined this pack either. The good news is, there's no rush. You'll get there when you get there."

We sat in thoughtful silence for a few minutes. I was about to go inside to refill my coffee when he said, "Thank you for helping me understand what I am."

"It's a lot to think about, huh?"

"Yes." After a beat, he asked, "The Court wants me back to kill me for siding with Valas against Charles Vaughan. I think they're targeting you now because I'm a member of your pack, even though Sean is on the Were Ruling Council and you have a long history with Charles. Am I correct?"

And just like that, all my rage and frustration over Charles's bullshit came roaring back. I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "Possibly. You know as well as I do there's never a simple explanation for anything the Court does—or what Charles Vaughan does."

"I thought he would allow me to live because he knows killing me would further alienate you."

I doubted it was possible for me to be any more alienated from Charles than I already was, but Matthias might not be wrong. "Who knows what goes through that guy's head." I rose and rested my hand on Matthias's massive bicep. "In any case, you're one of us now. Anyone messes with you, they're messing with the whole pack. That's twenty werewolves and one totally badass mage. It would be a super-duper bad idea."

A ghost of a smile made the corners of his mouth turn up. "Super duper," he agreed. "Thanks, Alice. I'll start on my report immediately. And if you change your mind about wanting additional backup tonight for your meeting, please let me know. It would be my privilege to join you."

If my meeting was with anyone but Moses, I would happily invite Matthias to join me. And I might on a different night, if the situation called for it. Not tonight, however. Tonight I had to face my grandfather one-on-one. I had a point to make.

"Thank you. Rain check." I patted his arm and headed for the patio door. "I need more coffee. Coming inside?"

"In a while. I need to think."

For the first time, hearing him say that didn't make my stomach churn.

I went inside and closed the sliding door behind me. He'd already turned to face the backyard, his coffee mug resting on his knee.

Sean emerged from the office and met me halfway to the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

"Is your meeting over?" I asked, my voice muffled by his shirt.

"Not yet. I just told them I'd be right back." He nuzzled my hair. "Thank you for talking to him."

The office shared an exterior wall with the deck. He'd probably heard every word. "Was everything I said okay?" I asked.

"Better than okay." He tipped my chin up and kissed me. "You said what he needed to hear. You're getting good at this, Miss Magic."

"I try." I smacked his butt. "Get back to work, Wolf. I've got stuff to do before our meeting with Aaron."

"Yes, ma'am." Chuckling, he returned to the office.