Chapter 26

Chapter

Twenty-Six

The journey home seemed to take both hours and only a few minutes. Matthias kept me talking, peppering me with questions that ranged from how Sean and I met to the differences between witch magic and natural magic and even which of the vinyl albums in my collection I played most often and why. He asked me several questions more than once—I suspected to see if I noticed he was repeating them.

"Aren't you going to ask me how many fingers you're holding up?" I asked at some point, in a tone that was probably more cranky than he deserved.

Matthias slid me a sideways glance. "Would you give me your honest answer if I did, or be a smart-ass?"

I crossed my arms and glared out the window.

When we arrived at the house, all was quiet. Pain and intermittent dizziness meant I had to suffer the further indignity of having Matthias carry me to the basement to let Malcolm out of his crystal.

When he appeared beside us, my ghost bestie took one look at me, flitted repeatedly, and ordered Matthias to get me upstairs so I could use a healing spell.

"Don't you want to know what happened?" I asked as Matthias carried me up to the second floor.

"I'll get the story from him!" Malcolm yelled from the living room. "Jeez Louise, Alice. You're beat to hell. This is not the time for a chit-chat!"

"I get no respect around here," I muttered. I stifled a wince when my foot bumped into the railing. Even my toes hurt.

Upstairs, Matthias braced me with one arm and his knee so he could open our bedroom door. "You use humor to disguise your real feelings," he said as he closed the door behind us with his foot. "And to try to keep us from worrying about you. You know we see through that, right?"

I'd known they did, but usually no one called me out on it. Well, except Carly.

"You're one to talk," I shot back. "As if you don't hide how you feel behind that whole ‘I'm as tough as old boot leather' thing you do."

He raised an eyebrow. "Now you are deflecting."

I harrumphed. "I already have a therapist and a ghost sidekick who gripe about this, okay? Don't you start."

"All right." He glanced around the room. "Would you like to lie on the bed or go into the bathroom?"

Little did he know my jokes were more to distract myself from thinking about what was going to happen next than whether they worried about me.

"Bathroom," I said with a sigh. "I need my box of healing spells from the nightstand. Top drawer. Also, please bring me my pillow."

Matthias left me perched on the side of the tub while he went to get my box of spells. When he returned, he found me sitting on the fluffy bath mat with my back against the tub.

"Thanks." I took the box and the pillow. "I know you stuck around for that mid-level healing spell earlier, but you don't want to be in here for this one. "

He crouched next to me. "Do you remember telling me that you would always be honest with me?"

I narrowed my eyes.

"If you were being honest right now," he continued, utterly unfazed by my scowl, "you would instead say you preferred I left you alone because you don't want me to see you suffering or being sick."

He had me there. I had promised honesty and I'd meant what I said. I shouldn't pick and choose when to follow my own rules.

And there was something about Matthias that made me feel safe telling him raw truth that I struggled to say to pretty much anyone else, except maybe Carly. Maybe it was the fact he'd been through hell too, or maybe I just knew what I said wouldn't go beyond this room. He'd become a safe place for me, as I hoped I was for him—or would be, someday.

"I don't even like Sean or Malcolm to see me use a strong healing spell," I said. "And I love them the most of anyone in the world. Not just because the effects are awful." I swallowed. "I used to have to use healing spells in front of people when I didn't want to. People who actually enjoyed watching me scream."

His expression darkened. He was probably visualizing what he would do to my tormentors given the chance.

I expected his shifter magic to sizzle on my skin, but instead when he touched my hand where it lay on top of my box of healing spells, all I felt was comfort and strength.

"I understand then why you don't want me to stay," he said. "But I would like to."

"Why?"

His stoic fa?ade melted away. For maybe the first time since we'd met, Matthias let me see the real depth of his pain and grief, but I also saw hope and determination.

"Without hesitating, you lay next to me on the cellar floor at Valas's mansion and held my hand in my darkest hour," he said. "I've never known as much courage or kindness in my life as I did in that moment. "

A sharp pain lanced through my head, causing me to flinch. I hurt so much, and it was only going to get worse before it got better. I didn't want to ever drink vampire blood again because of its side effects, but that didn't mean I didn't wish for its painless and even euphoric healing power.

"Alice." Matthias squeezed my bruised hand ever so gently. "Tell me to stay, or tell me to go, but make a choice."

"It's going to be bad," I said, my voice rough.

"I know." His amber gaze locked on mine. "That's why I want to stay."

To my surprise, I found myself wanting him to stay too. Maybe a little at a time I could replace the memories of Moses and his people watching me in agony back at his compound in Baltimore with better ones. Well, less awful ones, anyway.

So I opened the box, found a dark blue crystal containing a strong healing spell, and lay on the bath mat because I'd end up lying down anyway. Better to lie down on purpose than fall over and risk hitting my head.

Matthias lay down beside me. Thank goodness we had a large bathroom. He took up a lot of square footage.

"Same rules as before," I said. "Keep a little distance. You can't touch me until it's done."

"I'm familiar with healing spells." He touched my hand one last time and then tucked his bent arm under his head like a pillow. "But thank you for the reminder."

No sense putting it off any more. My ears were ringing again and I might be in danger of losing consciousness.

I gripped the spell tightly in my fist, pressed my hand to my chest, and closed my eyes. " Helios ," I said, and smushed the pillow to my face.

The first pulse of healing magic sent a wave of agony through me that nearly made me pass out.

And it got worse from there.

In a near-delirium, I screamed and screamed into my pillow as magic rolled through my body from my chest up to the top of my head and down to the tips of my toes. Every wave was pure agony, but each pulse in my head wiped away my thoughts and replaced them with static.

Even worse, sudden, acute nausea surged, and I went cold and clammy all over. I'd be violently sick soon.

It took all my tattered concentration to hold onto the crystal and the pillow. In moments, I had no ability to think of anything else.

Which was why it took me an eternity to realize when something had changed.

My vision had grayed out almost immediately, but as the gray faded I found myself staring into Matthias's amber eyes. He must have taken away my pillow, or maybe I'd dropped it.

And then my agony faded, just as it did on the rare occasions when I allowed Sean to take my pain during a healing spell.

The healing spell pulsed, sending magic rolling through me in waves, but my hurt was gone. So was the debilitating nausea.

No . The sudden clarity of that thought startled me after the static that had clouded my mind. I won't let Matthias take this for me .

But he wasn't growling or bristling with shifter magic and his eyes weren't full of pain like Sean's were when he took the agony of a healing spell. I heard only a low rumble in his chest and saw a shadow move in his eyes: his wolf, staring back at me.

He wasn't hurting, and he wasn't sick. But neither was I.

"Matthias," I whispered. "What are you doing?"

"What I'm meant to do," he said, just as quietly. "I think."

Maybe he could do this courtesy of having consumed Valas's blood for years prior to being Changed, or maybe it had something to do with how I'd helped him during his first shift, when I'd taken his pain and pushed it away as he was apparently doing for me now.

Either way, he had magic of his own after all.

Tears spilled from my eyes. I didn't try to stop them. Matthias seemed to understand they weren't from pain or grief—just a lot of emotions all welling up at once .

And when the healing spell finished, he helped me into the shower, waited in the bedroom while I got myself clean, handed me a set of pajamas, and put me into bed. And never once did I feel self-conscious about him helping me. Maybe that was his magic too, or maybe I was too exhausted to be self-conscious about being cared for.

"Is Sean home yet?" I murmured as he pulled the covers up to my chin.

"Not yet." He rested his hand on my shoulder. "He said he will be soon. Don't worry about anything, Alice. We'll take of you."

I was made of worry these days, but not right now. Maybe Matthias took that too while he was taking the pain and sickness.

I was asleep before he closed the bedroom door.

I am resting, but her cool hand pushes away the bedding and trails up my leg. Her fingertips delve between my thighs, caressing, teasing, and demanding.

I open my legs for her, as I have always done. As I always will, because her touches are like no other, and because she rules me. I am hers to do with as she pleases, and this she knows.

She commands, and I obey.

Without mercy, she demands I come again and again, and I do—on her fingers, on her lips, on a wand made of jade she warms by the fire.

I call her name and she laughs, the sound like bells, before she covers my mouth with her own. She drinks in my voice as I cry out. Her name is as sweet on my lips as her mouth.

She lowers her mouth to my breast. I know what is coming and fight to free myself, to no avail. She will not let me run.

When she slips her fingers deep within my sex and sinks her fangs into my tender flesh at the same time, I scream and come on her hand. The agony is exquisite.

I know only pain and pleasure for a very long time .

"We will rule the New World," she tells me later as I lie peaceful and sated in her arms. She laves my breasts and throat with her cool tongue, swirling my blood in languid circles, and licking it from her lips. "You and I will be its empresses, its queens. All its creatures of the night will swear fealty to us. This old world and its gods and rulers may go to blazes—I do not care."

I do not argue, but I know the new class of rulers in the New World are not like the ones we know here, who respect the authority and strength of vampires. They are different, these men of America, but she does not wish to hear such warnings. And old gods abide as much there as here. Their names and power reach me even on the shore of the old world, carried on the winds.

She does not hear these voices. I dare not tell her that I do, or that I carry within myself the accursed power of sorcery, given to me by a demon lord, and the dark arts of the warlocks of the Carpathian Mountains. She and I share a great many secrets, but not those.

Nor have I told her what I have contained in the small box hidden in my casket. He is my greatest secret and my greatest shame. My greatest joy, and my greatest pain.

Tomorrow she and I will leave all we know and sail for the New World aboard our chartered ship, the Lita Grey , with only our most precious things and darkest secrets packed in and around our caskets. Our perilous journey is paid for, our safety in daytime ensured by our loyal guards.

The Courts in the colonies have already been claimed, so once our ship arrives, my coterie and I will travel across America's entire wide land to the Court that has risen on its western coast. My companion and her guards will travel to the north, where another is planned near the waters of five great lakes. Our lover Lucien schemes to lead the Court already formed in a new town to the south called La Nouvelle-Orléans. Always impatient and unwilling to chance a rival's claim, he has already sailed.

The greatest young vampires of the old world, weary of its wars and known ways, thirst for what is new. And for the power that here belongs to the truly ancient among us and will never be shared.

"You have not bled enough for my taste tonight, Sala," she says, her fangs at my throat as her fingers play between my thighs. "But we have hours yet before the sun rises. I may yet be satisfied."

"I will satisfy you," I assure her, my back arching. "Tell me what you desire."

"I must hear you call for me many more times." Her fang nicks my ear. It is a tiny pain and a promise, and I sigh in contentment. "We will be parted soon. I do not want to forget the sound of my true name on your sweet tongue."

I greatly desire the power she has all but promised. I want to rule my own Court and lead my kind in the New World. How could I not, after having witnessed a thousand years of rule and misrule in my own land?

And yet…

"Our thrones will be high, but they will be lonely," I say. "And far from each other."

"So they will." Her tongue traces the contours of my ear and she tugs my earring with her teeth. "But our rule will be long and our power unquestioned," she murmurs. "It is a dream, Sala. When we sleep at dawn, dream of it with me."

Old gods and new rulers await us in America, but I am sure I will dream of my Court come the dawn, lying beside her in the safety and darkness of this place.

The enormity of what lies before us seems less daunting knowing she will be there as well—though she will be farther away from me in America than my birthplace is from this village on the coast of France.

"I am yours for all time, Alys," I tell her.

She cups my face with her cool hand. "That name dies here, as does yours. After tomorrow, I go forth as Elizabeth."

"And I go forth as ? —"

She kisses me, stealing away my voice as I start to say the name I have chosen for myself, as if she does not want to hear me say it.

It is just as well. I will hear that new name spoken for a very long time as I sit at the head of my own Court, on the far-away western coast of America.

I opened my eyes, rolled to my back, and stared up at the ceiling of our bedroom. Between my legs, my thighs were wet from a passion-filled memory I'd relived even though it wasn't my own. And if I wasn't mistaken, it was at least the third such memory I'd experienced as a dream.

"Valas," I whispered.

She'd bound me months ago when it was the only way to break the sorcerer Mira?'s power over me. And though she'd pretended to release the binding later, she never had, and that connection had lasted until the moment of her death in Colorado. It made sense that I had echoes of her memories and they'd begun to surface. No wonder my dreams lately had been so vivid.

I didn't want any of her dreams, but at least this one had been…pleasant. I strongly suspected I'd had at least one orgasm in my sleep.

"Thanks for that, I guess," I said aloud. Not that Valas could hear me, wherever she was. I chuckled.

The fact Valas and Elizabeth of the Chicago Court had been lovers didn't surprise me; I would have been far more shocked to find out they hadn't shared a bed. They'd shown no outward signs of affection when I'd seen Elizabeth visit Valas's Court last year, and yet I'd had a sense those waters ran deep. What did surprise me about this memory was their real tenderness and love for one another.

Was Elizabeth grieving for Valas's death, then? Truly grieving? I couldn't imagine loving someone for centuries and then losing them in such a way. I had little sympathy for Valas after all the suffering she'd caused, but Elizabeth's loss still resonated.

And Elizabeth's real name was apparently Alys. Now there was a twist I didn't see coming. The prospect that had anything to do with Valas's interest in me was almost too ludicrous to entertain. Almost. I made a face.

Despite the strong healing spell I'd used, a dull ache radiated from what felt like every bone and muscle in my body. Even my nose was still sore.

Sean's pillow was cold, the bedding left uncharacteristically unmade as if he'd rolled out of it quickly. I saw no sign of Baby Daisy, Rogue, or Esme either. The soft light of dawn peeked in around the edges of the closed curtains. The house was quiet.

He must have gotten home at some point, stayed in bed with me for a while, and risen early. The attack on the road had probably left him with a mountain of problems to sort out. As if we needed more problems. I rubbed my face with my hands, winced, and reached for my bedside bottle of ibuprofen.

It was barely seven in the morning, but my phone screen showed a text message from Philippa Grayson sent a half hour ago asking for an update. I needed a cup of coffee to face that and lots more to face everything else.

I found my robe, padded barefoot to the windows, and drew back the curtains, expecting to see the cars of several pack members. Instead, only my SUV and Ben's vehicle were out front. I hoped that was a good sign. If things were bad, Sean would probably have called for a pack meeting. I wasn't looking forward to telling Sean and Malcolm about my dreams, since anything to do with Valas tended to get everyone's hackles up, but at least we had some answers.

I dressed quickly, tamed my tangled hair, and opened the bedroom door. No sign of Matthias or anyone else, even Malcolm, but Sean's voice drifted upstairs from what sounded like the office. His tone seemed calm and I sensed no anger through our nascent bond. I also heard Matthias's low rumble.

Despite everything, now hope soared. Had the Council voted to support us? Could we have finally, finally gotten something to go our way?

I hurried down to the kitchen, poured a cup of fresh coffee, and added cream and sugar. The voices in the office quieted as I shut the refrigerator. Odd that they'd closed the office door, but maybe Sean had wanted to keep Rogue, Esme, and Baby Daisy inside so they didn't wake me. I loved how thoughtful he was, even when everything around us seemed to be falling apart.

I knocked. "Sean?"

"Come in," he called, his voice almost cheerful. How I'd missed that sound. He must have gotten good news.

Smiling, I opened the door?—

—and came face-to-face with Valas.