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Chapter 45

chapter forty-five

Quinn

Gavin.

I stare at him over Grayson's shoulder and I feel a rush of emotions overtake me. I jerk my hand away from Grayson and pierce him with a look. He knew what he was doing. He knew Gavin was in there and that he'd walk out and see us.

This can't be happening.

I push past Grayson, and try my best to get the fucking crutches to move faster. A sea of tears begin to form in my eyes and I feel everything. I fall to the curb and for what feels like forever I can't breathe fully.

I'm basically hyperventilating and choking on my own breaths.

I came here to tell Gavin how I feel. To tell him that I'm better with him, that we are better together. That no matter what I'd always choose him. That I never should've made him feel like I wasn't choosing him. That I'd been manipulated for so long that I had no idea what was happening between us so I kept him at an arm's length because I was scared.

A hand lands on my shoulder and I turn to see Grayson, "Quinn come on. Let me take you home."

"No!" I scream. "Get away from me, Grayson!"

A deep familiar voice comes from behind us, and I turn to see Coach. "Collins, you're suspended indefinitely from the Ridge U football team. You need to go meet with the dean about what your options are for classes."

What?

Grayson backs away from me and does as the coach says, leaving. Coach sits on the curb next to me. I feel a giant weight placed on my chest.

"I'm sorry I fucked up your season."

He shakes his head, "You didn't. You aren't responsible for what others do. They are grown."

I give him the side-eye, "Things would be different had I not been here. So don't lie. Why'd you kick him off the team?"

"He paid Grant Laremore five thousand dollars to put Gavin out of the game."

What?

I feel an instant wave of nausea, and spill the contents of my breakfast onto the concrete next to us.

"It's none of my business," he says. "But for what it's worth, Gavin is a good guy. He cares about his team and his friends. It also seems he cares about you."

"I know," I whisper.

He shakes his head, "Maybe even more than football. I've been doing this long enough that I can tell when one of my guys' heart isn't in the game. When I approached Gavin to play ball, he told me why he was doing it. It was for everyone else's benefit, the guy has more drive than any other kid I've ever coached."

I tilt my eyes up to him, "Why are you telling me this?"

He shrugs, "Because, I want you to know when Gavin sets his mind to something he's gonna get it done. Maybe it's time someone fought for him."

Those words resonate with me as Coach lifts himself off the concrete and walks away.

He's absolutely right.

I hobble up to my feet and situate my crutches under my arms and call Ava to pick me up. I need to find Gavin and tell him the truth.

I need to tell him that I love him.

When Ava pulls up to the curb I practically jump inside not worrying about the pain in my ankle. It feels irrelevant right now, but maybe it's just the adrenaline kicking in.

"Why do you look so crazy?" Ava asks.

"Because I'm an idiot. Take me to Gavin's please."

She pulls up outside and I see his truck, immediately feeling the ache in my heart begin to settle. He's here. Thank God.

She lets me out and I bang on the door until my fist hurts, and finally start using my hand openly. "Gavin!"

The neighbor comes outside and I realize that I must look crazy because the man is looking at me over the rim of his glasses like he's contemplating calling the cops.

I wave shyly at the man and continue to beat on the door. I hear Daisy begin to bark and finally he pulls the door open. I leap into his arms and squeeze him so tight that there wouldn't be a chance he could leave. He needed to hear what I was about to say.

"It's you, Gavin. It will always be you."

He sits me down but his hands never leave my hips.

"This was the worst weekend of my life. I never wanted you to feel like I was choosing him over you, I just didn't know what to do. I've been so conditioned to the same thing for so long that I made the mistake of falling right back into that same pattern. When you walked away from me that night I'd never felt that feeling before. It was the worst pain I'd ever felt."

He stares down at me with a wetness brimming his lashes. "It's okay, Quinn. I wanted to protect you from all the things that were circulating online so I thought a hard launch was the right thing to do. I hate when people talk shit about you, especially when I know the real you. I shouldn't have pushed a relationship on you when you told me you weren't ready."

He looks so gorgeous, hair damp from the shower he must've just taken, and it's the way he looks at me. It's like there's no one else in the world.

"I was ready." I admit. "I was just afraid. I felt like it was my responsibility to dance around everyone's feelings. I didn't want to be responsible for single-handedly dismantling the Eagle football team."

The corner of Gavin's mouth tilts into a smirk, "Eagles are doing pretty good. Even dismantled. I just wanted you to do what was best for you, I always want that."

"I do too." I say. "Which is why I think you should focus more on things that you want. If you don't want to play football, quit. I'll help you figure out how you can pay for school. I want you for who you are, not because you can catch a pass one handed while diving into the endzone. Although, that is pretty impressive."

He chuckles, "Football isn't so bad when you are in the stands wearing my jersey."

"Oh, yeah?" I tease.

"Yeah," he laughs. "Before this last game, football almost started to feel fun again."

"Well," I start. "If you want me in the stands in your jersey, that's exactly where I'll be."

"Promise?"

I tilt my eyes to his, "Promise."

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