Chapter 12

chapter twelve

Quinn

Voltage is exactly as I expected.

Dirty and full of drunk assholes.

The bouncer at the door didn't even ID us. He was too busy looking at my chest, and Ava's long legs to care. All she had to do was bat her eyelashes in his direction and he was ushering us through the door.

Five seconds inside and I know this isn't my vibe. I'm certainly not a party girl.

Ava walks in like she owns the place, even though she maybe knows three people. She has a very distinct personality that is the complete opposite of mine. Where she is outspoken, I'm reserved. Maybe that wasn't always the case but that's how it's been for a while. I don't like the attention, so I'm happy to let her bask in it.

After we get a couple of drinks at the bar, Ava sets her sights on the guy from earlier. He's posted up in the corner of the patio on a barstool with a girl standing between his knees.

"Why did he ask me to come here if he has a fucking girlfriend?" She sneers, tilting her vodka cranberry back.

I should make an excuse for him to make her feel better but that's not really my style. So instead, I tell her the truth. "It's probably just the first girl that he saw tonight. Dude is looking to get laid."

Ava doesn't stop drinking and gulps until her entire drink is gone. Slamming it on the bar she growls, "Fucking jerk."

I spot the guy, Remi, from my class earlier and smile as he notices me and waves. "Who's that!" Ava grins, wiggling her eyebrows. "He's totally eye fucking you."

"Is not," I argue. "And it's just some guy from my History class."

Ava rolls her eyes, "Bullshit. That guy is totally undressing you with his eyes right now, and he is hot, Quinn. Like, in a way I can't even explain."

She is right, Remi is hot. He totally gives off a smart jock vibe that is obviously making Ava's panties melt, and the way his hair hangs over his black rimmed glasses is sexy, I'll give her that.

Remi walks up and Ava squirms next to me.

"Hey, you." He smiles. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Yeah, not really my vibe." I admit, pointing to Ava, "This is my roommate, Ava."

"Remington." He grins, his dimples on display. "Nice to meet you."

Ava doesn't speak, instead she just smiles a hello. It might be the first time since I've met her that she doesn't have something to say.

"I thought I told you to leave my girl alone, Remi?"

Grayson's voice pulls me out of my head and back to the present. Remi shakes his head and grins at me.

"No wonder you dumped him" Ava sighs, "He's delusional."

I feel my heart sink to the pit of my stomach, because I didn't dump him. Grayson stares Remi down with a vengeance and Ava giggles.

I wait for Grayson to speak or come back with some asshole comment, but he doesn't.

"Quinn, we need to talk."

I want to tell him no, that he can go crawl back into whatever pussy he just crawled out of, but instead, I stare into his eyes. The same stupid eyes that have helped me through the worst times in my entire life.

"Fine," I sigh, causing Ava's attitude to perk up.

"You don't have to go anywhere with him, Quinn."

I pull her to the side, "I know, but trust me, it'll be better if we talk this out and get it over with. Otherwise, it's going to be a long year."

She eyes me, like she isn't quite sure what to do, but I nod to let her know it's okay.

"I'm not leaving," I tell Grayson. "We can talk in your car but after that I'm coming back inside."

He gives me a curt nod and I follow him out the door. The entire time I can't help but picture my best friend, Raelynn, getting in this car. Well, my ex best friend.

I shut the door, and turn to face him. "What do you want to talk about, Gray? There's not much left to say."

"I'm sorry," He blurts and the words just ring in my ears. I don't think I've ever heard him say that to anyone .

"What I did was awful, Quinn, but you have to believe that I didn't mean for any of this to happen, and I know you won't believe me but I didn't cheat on you."

I shake my head, "I saw the messages on your phone, Grayson. You expect me to believe that you weren't screwing her?"

He looks up from the steering wheel with pleading eyes, "Look at me. I swear to you, we didn't. We never did."

I feel my stomach fall into my ass.

Why do I want to believe him?

"Then make it make sense!" I demand. "Because right now, you are just a liar."

"I can't," he grits. "I want to but I can't. I don't want to see you upset."

Is he serious?

"I'm already upset, Grayson! We dated for two years. I trusted you." I look at my feet in the floorboard. "I trusted Rae, too."

"I don't even know where to start," he sighs. "Just promise me that no matter what I say, you won't leave."

I shake my head, "I'm not promising anything. Our promises don't mean a thing anymore."

I know that was an unnecessary jab, but I have all this pent up frustration and it feels good to let it out.

"The night your mom died…" He starts and I feel a weight suddenly against my chest, as if someone is standing on top of me. "We fought, remember?"

I try my best to go back there, to that place in the back of my mind I try so hard to suppress. I nod.

"Do you remember why?"

I nod my head, "I wouldn't leave with you."

He runs his hands down his face, "Okay but do you remember why I wanted you to leave?"

I search for a memory. Anything to remind me of that night, but it's all a blur. "No."

"Rae invited some boys from the school in the next county to the party. She'd been talking to one of them."

"Corbyn or something?" I remember, but barely.

"I don't know," he sighs. "They were all making plans to leave and go back to this guy's house. Everyone was fucking hammered."

"Except for you." I state.

"We weren't on good terms, but I didn't want you to get hurt. Those guys weren't good, Quinn. I didn't want them to touch you or hurt you."

I feel my stomach constrict. I don't remember that at all, but I also probably would've done whatever Raelynn wanted to do back then. Especially since I'd been drinking.

"So you called my mom."

His eyes scream that he's sorry, "I did. You wouldn't leave with me and I knew that if you knew your mom was coming, it would sober you up enough to stay put."

"Why are you telling me this?"

His expression changes from sorry to sad. "Raelynn left that night. Do you remember that?"

I shake my head, "No? She was too drunk to drive."

My eyes fill with tears and I feel my throat burn with the contents of my stomach threatening to come out.

"We were so busy fighting. I don't even remember her leaving." I choke.

"She got in the car with those guys," he admits, "and your mom never made it to the party."

A sob crashes through my body, and I feel my heart pounding against my ribcage.

Did anyone know this?

I tried my best to let my sister handle the police and funeral arrangements because I could barely bring myself to even breathe. The only thing I could think was that it was my fault.

"But they arrested someone," I cry.

"And they let them go." He sighs, "They told the police the car was stolen."

I feel my chest tighten. Raelynn was in the car that hit my mom and she just left her there to die?

"She left my mom?"

Grayson shakes his head, "She was scared to death. She didn't know it was your mom."

I can't breathe. Why is he defending her?

"You kept this from me?" I croak. "You knew this entire time and you didn't say anything?"

"You weren't okay, Quinn. You were in therapy and I didn't want to make things worse for you."

I stare at him and wonder how he could live with himself, knowing the truth and not saying a word. "Raelynn went on and pretended like that night never even happened. How could she do that?"

He grabs my hand, squeezing it like he used to. Something that used to calm me down. "She wanted to go to the cops so many times and tell them the truth, Quinn."

"Why didn't she?" I cry.

"You needed her," he admits. "You needed all of us. I don't think you really understand how bad you were. Rae was afraid if she told you that you'd never forgive her."

I can't help from sneering, "She's right."

He grabs my hand and squeezes it, but I jerk it away.

"I'll never forgive you either."

Slinging the door open, I get out of his car as fast as I can.