Chapter 42

Thorne

The memory of Hanna’s face, her deep blue eyes wide with concern, would stay with me. The feeling of her hand tenderly cupping my cheek lingered on my skin.

I didn’t want to die today.

But I couldn’t imagine a better way, if I must, then fixing what had been broken between her and Kaelan. Between giving her a chance at happiness.

With the last of my fading magic, I reached out for Kaelan’s mind.

He needed all his memories back. He needed to be able to hold onto them now that I no longer would.

But most of all, I gave him back one he already had… now that he knew that she had sacrificed herself for him and for her family.

Everyone had known Hanna and Kaelan were going to be married. So when he walked past her and took the hand of another woman to dance, everyone at the ball knew he was publicly rejecting her.

She had kept the same frozen smile on her face, but he knew her attention was always on him.

And it was the same for him, even though he went through the motions of the dance with another woman. He couldn’t even see her face. He was totally focused on Hanna.

Well, he was briefly distracted by the sight of Arren, moving through the crowd like an arrow speeding toward its target. But then Honor had her hand on Arren and was pulling him into a dance, whispering into his ear, before there could be violence.

Before the royals could embarrass themselves.

Hanna hadn’t betrayed any sign of how devastated she must be. He hadn’t told her he was breaking their engagement; he had just come to the ball, knowing he was going to get on his ship afterward and sail back to the ice kingdom.

He hadn’t entirely planned how he would hurt her. He’d been remembering how she had shied away from danger, how she’d run and left him for a last, desperate fight for his life that he barely won. All his admiration for her had gone up like smoke. So had his affection.

Every time that memory rose to mind, he hated her a little bit more.

But his obsession… his obsession with her clung to him like a thousand thorns pressing into his skin, like vines sinking into his arms and legs and twining around his spine and into his mind.

And so when the other woman pulled her away with him, away from the dance floor, he had gone with her. To hurt Hanna.

And when the other woman turned up her smiling face, he had pushed her away.

Also, for Hanna.

He couldn’t bear to touch another. But he wanted her to think that he had, so he tore his tunic down the front, mussed his hair. He’d bowed to the befuddled woman and then gone out.

“Kaelan!”

He turned on the steps to find her above him. There was high color in her cheeks, and her chest heaved. It was the same place where he had seen her for the first time, and he wondered why he had wanted her so much then… and since.

He had to break things so badly he could never return to her. That thought had pounded in his mind, because he was sure someday he would.

“Yes?” His voice was bored. Insolent.

Her cheeks flushed darker. “I know you don’t love me anymore. But you didn’t need to announce it to the whole court.”

“I could never bring such a weak queen home to my kingdom.” He answered. “Everyone will know that soon enough.”

He’d tilted his head to one side, studying her. “Everyone will know what you are.”

“I doubt that very much,” she’d whispered.

He hadn’t always been worthy of her. He knew that. But he could be.

Be worth it, I thought to Kaelan.

Be worth it for both of us.

That hope was the last thing I knew before I collapsed.