Chapter 13

Hanna

Thorne kept staring at me from the corner of his eye, which was really endangering his well-being when we were half-climbing, half-sliding across treacherous, rocky ground. The forest that bordered the two kingdoms was so massive it made me feel like we were the size of children”s toys, two dolls picking our way over endless slabs of rock between towering trees.

”What?” I asked.

”Are you alright?”

I turned on him, exasperation flaring, ready to tell him no. But he was looking at me with such a look of kindness and concern written across his face that I couldn”t snap at him.

”No,” I said, but it was soft.

It was true.

”You saw the way Kaelan looked when he thought of me.” I shivered softly at the thought. It had seared through me, burnt its way like a brand into my mind; I wasn”t sure I would ever look at him again and not see the hatefulness written across his face in that moment.

”It”s the enchantment,” Thorne said roughly. ”He doesn”t mean it.”

I slid down the side of a rock, bracing myself with my heels. Thorne held out his hand to me.

”It”s not just the enchantment and you know it.” I didn”t take his hand. I could be fine on my own, and I”d better be. ”The enchantment has to have something to hook into. It doesn”t make something from nothing. Deep down, part of Kaelan hates me.”

I”d convinced myself all these years that Kaelan”s hatred was on the surface, that underneath, deep down, was love.

Thorne made a small, disgusted noise, and it surprised me so much that I turned to face him. ”What?”

”He doesn”t hate you,” he said. ”He hates feeling. He hates what you do to him. That must be the hook for the enchantment.”

”He hates me.”

”If that makes it easier for you to keep moving,” Thorne said, his voice dry as if he thought I was stupid.

”Nothing can make this easier.”

”Mm.”

”Don”t grunt at me!”

Thorne sighed. ”Hanna. If he didn”t love you, he wouldn”t have concocted an elaborate scheme to imprison you as his unwilling queen. He”s a wicked, manipulative, arrogant king... but he certainly loves you. In his own twisted way.”

I stared at him, chewing my lower lip.

”I would rather not be loved if his passion is going to drive him to murder me,” I said drily.

”Mm.” He glanced up at the setting sun, barely visible through the gloom of the towering trees. ”We need to find a safe place to rest for the night.”

”We can sleep as dragons.”

”That”s not enough here,” he said. ”And we don”t want the Snake Queen”s monster minions reporting back to her that there are dragons in the forest anyway.”

”What do you suggest?”

Thorne looked up at one of the tall trees. The spreading branches seemed to be a hundred feet above us.

”Were you good at climbing trees as a kid?”

”Yes. But I hated it.”

He cocked his head to one side, looking at me curiously.

”I tried hard to be fearless as a child,” I explained.

”Like your sister.”

Gods, he saw right through me.

I didn”t dignify that with an answer.

Instead, I saw a good tree in the distance and headed for it resolutely. Thorne took a heartbeat, then began to follow me.

We didn”t need to talk anymore about the years I”d spent trying to live up to my sister. It was the need to get out of her shadow that had driven me here.

I was beginning to realize how stupid I had been. The impulse to protect her had been fine. But I had wasted years of my life trying to be someone I didn”t even truly want to be, thinking there was only one kind of person worth being.

I didn”t really want to be an assassin, or a spy, or a fighter.

I wasn”t sure what I wanted to be. I”d spent my whole life so far trying to be something else so much that I wasn”t even sure what desires were really mine and which I”d convinced myself were mine.

I reached the base of the tree and whispered an enchantment to keep my hands and feet braced against the trunk. Then I began to climb.

Thorne followed me.

He touched my calf, and his touch felt warm and safe.

”Let”s take that branch to the right,” he said quietly. ”I”ll build a nest for us.”

”A nest?”

”We are dragons, after all,” he said.

I frowned at his back as he moved past me, his hand touching my calf, my thigh, my back as he climbed as if he needed to touch me as much as he needed to touch the trunk itself. ”How long had you known I was a dragon?”

”Since Kaelan first saw you fly.” He crouched, then stood up on the branch. He”d had his hand braced against the trunk but now he walked down the thick branch as if we weren”t even higher than Kaelan”s tower.

”I”d hate to fall from here given how many branches we”d strike before we could unfurl our wings,” I mused.

”I”d hate to fall from here because what”s going to be on the floor of that forest when the sun sinks down completely,” he told me. ”All we have to worry about up here is the big cats.”

”Fantastic.”

”Which are rare.”

”We can sleep in shifts. Rare isn”t enough for me to have sweet dreams.”

Thorne”s magic had spun a literal nest for us that stretched between the bow on which he stood to the one above. He held out his hand to me. ”We”ll be safe in here.”

I”d been about to claim my own nest, but I couldn”t resist the impulse now to sleep close to him.

I took his hand and let him pull me inside. It was magical inside, all purple and blue threads of magic, glittering faintly against the dusk. It rocked slightly with every movement of the tree, but it felt cozy, like being onboard a ship.

The two of us unlaced our boots and then sank into the soft mattress Thorne had spun.

”More gifts from your sister?” I asked.

”She”s very useful.”

”I like your sisters.”

”Well.” A smile played at the edges of his lips, and I was sure he liked hearing them complimented even if he wouldn”t admit it. ”That makes you and me. No one really likes Alys.”

”I”m pretty sure Ekardo likes---”

”Shut up.”

I let out a laugh, and his lips twitched. His gaze on me was warm, as if he had missed the sound of my laughter.

The two of us shared a simple meal of bread, cheese and sausages---all slightly squashed---from his bag. We passed back and forth the flagon of water; I enchanted it into wine, and Thorne quirked an eyebrow at me.

”Are you going to scold me for wasting my magic?” I asked because I was quite sure I knew what he was thinking.

”There”s no waste in doing things that bring you joy.” He frowned down at the flagon. ”But why did you make such cheap wine if you were going to the trouble? You could turn it into anything.”

”That”s my favorite Isle wine.”

He shook his head and passed it back to me. ”Your taste in wine is as terrible as your taste in men.”

I laughed, but it had an edge now; I wasn”t sure what he meant with that teasing.

He laid back, one big arm canted under his head. Neither of us undressed any further, given that we didn”t know what might happen during the night. I wriggled my toes, feeling the pressure ease in my feet as I lifted them and rested them against the bark; the sense of blood prickling in my feet and flowing back into my legs after a day of walking was pleasant.

The two of us lay side by side, not speaking. I rested the flagon of wine on my chest. How did it always feel so comfortable with Thorne by my side?

”I know Kaelan seems like an asshole,” Thorne said, then adjusted: ”I know he is an asshole. But he”s not just that.”

”You don”t need to write an epic poem about how wonderful he is,” I said dryly. ”He is going to try to murder me.”

I was convinced now, just from the way he had looked in that mirror. Every time I thought of his face, I felt an ache of heartbreak, a twinge of terror.

Thorne sighed and tilted his head back. ”But you”re still committed to saving him from this enchantment?”

”Yes. Of course.” I rubbed my hand across my face, feeling as if I were getting dragged further and further from my original mission to protect my sister and my nieces and nephews. I”d gotten so distracted by Kaelan. I should be hunting down the Snake Queen”s spies, not chasing an enchantment to try to save my marriage---which was doomed by our circumstances even if not for the enchantment.

”You know how I went to live in Edric”s palace when I was seven?” he said.

I nodded. ”Tell me about that.”

I knew Thorne”s story would be all tied up with Kaelan. He wouldn”t volunteer a story without a reason. But I was still curious.

”Kaelan”s behavior had grown... uncontrollable after the loss of his mother. Edric would never have struck him. Not when he was trying to raise a royal.”

I nodded.

”Instead, he”d had a whipping boy. Kaelan”s best friend. I forget his name. But the boy had come to despise Kaelan. He was just a child too, and he was always being hurt for whatever Kaelan did that his father didn”t care for.”

”What happened to him?” I whispered.

”Kaelan pretended not to care what happened to him. To hate him. That was when Edric brought me in, hoping I”d be more useful in keeping Kaelan in line.”

There were so many threads of that story he wasn”t revealing to me. I pictured the dark haired, serious little boy I”d imagine he”d been, taken away from his mother.

I rested my head on his shoulder. He closed his arm around my waist, holding me close, keeping me warm and cozy.

”His friend hated him so much,” Thorne said. ”But Kaelan was just trying to get him to safety---to convince his father he didn”t care so the boy would be released back to his family. So he could have the safe, happy life Kaelan couldn”t have for himself.”

”Did Edric kill him?” I whispered, afraid of the answer.

”No, thankfully.” Thorne said. ”That was before Edric began killing to keep Kaelan in line. He was still trying... more normal tactics. No, since Kaelan only laughed when the other boy was beaten at that point, Edric decided keeping him at the palace was pointless. He sent the boy home, which was the happiest ending imaginable. Kaelan was jealous… the boy was returning to a family who loved him.”

He sighed. I felt it through my body. ”The boy spat in Kaelan”s face the day he went home. He despised him.”

”But Kaelan was just trying to protect him.”

Thorne brushed my hair back from my face. His palm was rough against my skin. I couldn”t quite tell what he was doing anymore, why he touched me.

”Kaelan”s always been a hero for our kingdom,” Thorne said quietly. ”Even as he plays the villain.”

I laid there, uncertain of Thorne”s touch, and uncertain about how he praised Kaelan...

As if he were trying to push me away and back into Kaelan”s arms when this was over.

When I told Thorne that I wasn”t his, had I broken the bond between us irrevocably?

Even when Thorne was so close, so comforting, I wondered if there was a vast gulf between us.

And it made me sleep fitfully, even more than the roars and screams of the animals and monsters far below us.