Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

MIKO

M y eyes snapped open to sound of voices and heavy rain, my mind raging with my mate's predicament.

"Orion…" I rasped, sitting up on a bed. "I have to…"

"Miko?"

"Ori?"

"It's me, sir."

James. James was here. My pack was here.

"Orion… I have to get to…"

"Take it easy," my beta soothed. "Take it easy."‘

"He's hurt… He's hurt… I have to…"

I couldn't go after him like this. He needed me fighting-fit. He needed me to recover before I set off to save him.

"Ori…"

"Talk to me, sir," James implored.

I brought myself down to reason, trying to be as cool as possible.

Fuck.

I looked at James, seated on the end of my bed, his dark brown complexion painted by the soft light of a wind-up lantern. The scar on the left side of his face looking angrier than usual.

"Hey," I answered.

He wore a green baseball cap turned to the side—a James London staple.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his Yorkshire accent an oral glow.

I was topless, covered in bandages, any pain muffled by painkillers in my system and my werewolf healing. You could always count on Paige to make things right when you needed a patch up.

It took everything not to collapse under another onslaught of relief.

"I'm alright," I said. "Better for sleeping. You?"

"Fine, thanks. Happy to see your face."

I rolled my shoulders, fighting some grogginess. "Where are we?"

"Hospital. Handy, right?"

Blinking away some of the haze, I scanned my surroundings to see a ward of eight beds, mine closest to the door. The others were occupied by the other members of my pack apart from Paige. Trev, Daria, and Basil weren't here either, but the Gilmore family were.

They were all looking at me with concern.

The windows were boarded, sealed around the edges by thick masking tape. Rain battered the outside, an angry wind howling.

Cate hurried over. James stood up, linking arms with his wife.

"I'm so glad you're here, sir," she said, her usually cool vibe completely broken. And she seemed a lot paler than usual. "So, so glad."

Paige and Trev entered the ward, my medic giving me a hug. Gently, but heartfelt. I held her, closing my eyes, basking in her warmth, taking in the fair, rosy hues of her freckled cheeks.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"My pleasure, sir. Always."

I wanted to cry, my emotions caught in a blender on the highest setting, the lid loose. But I held it together because I always had to hold it together—especially in the presence of my pack. I was their leader, not some creature made of tissue paper.

Always strong. Always here for them.

But Ori… I need my Ori. My sweet, sweet cherrypie…

Basil entered, offering me a nod. "Good to see you again. Thank you so much for saving me."

"You good?"

"Much better, thank you. Still a few yards to go until I can start healing again."

"Cool."

Basil looked cleaner, wearing the same baby blue hospital scrubs I just noticed we all wore, along with some grubby white sneakers.

Cate hugged me next, then James, and even Trev. The violet-skinned troll hugged me with a surprising gentleness that wasn't unwelcome.

"Great to see you, mate."

I patted his right bicep. "How are you feeling after being yanked out of the mind walk?"

"Still a bit dizzy, but not bad."

"Same. Where's Daria?" There was no sign of the vampire.

"Said she'd join us later either here or if we hit the road. She needs to settle down for the day, and also reflect on her loss." The troll offered me sad eyes. "Poor Joe."

I still heard the gun crack and the pop of Joe's head.

"Lance…" I shook my head. "Lance killed him."

"That wanker."

"And I killed him."

The room went silent for a brief moment.

"Daria told us about your fight," James said.

"Yeah."

"He's really gone?" Cate chimed in next.

"He's gone."

"Good riddance."

I still waited to feel something, but Lance's relevance was in the toilet. I pined for Orion, struggling to not charge out of this hospital in pure desperation.

He'd better survive.

He'd better survive.

He'd. Better. Survive.

Trev placed a loving hand on Paige's spine, pulling me back from a spiral. You'd never expect to find or see love in a zombie apocalypse, but here it was in this room and in my heart. Not just my love for Orion, but for my pack, too.

Andrew, famous lion shifter and former consort to a late werelion queen, shook my hand, offering a consoling smile.

Malorie was the next to speak in this reunion special. "I never intended…" She released a long shaky breath. "I'm so sorry the mind walk ended too soon."

"Not your fault. It's Lance's. It's King Damien's. And how are you holding up? You must have taken a hit yourself."

"I'm fine. My brain is practically in storage for the time being."

"Shit."

"We all survived, didn't we?" she countered. "That is the main thing."

Arlo, Andrew and Malorie's son, fist bumped me, not saying anything, looking completely exhausted from all the shit he'd just been through.

Shoving my emotions into a tenuous box, I asked them about their ordeal.

James answered first. "Well, after the fae stormed the farmhouse, we were locked up in that factory. Couldn't break the runes." His bottom lip trembled. "I really thought… I really thought…"

Cate took over from him, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Things seemed pretty hopeless. We had no light, only the red glow of those magical markings." Her nostrils flared, the pack weapons expert's lips curling into a snarl. "Bastards. All of them."

Paige picked up the explanation next after half a minute of silence, the Snoopy badge pinned to her scrubs a symbol of her joy. "We tried everything to break out so many times. The worst part was hearing and smelling you, sir. Knowing you were out there with a horde on your back and not being able to do a thing about it." Her eyes glistened with tears.

I took her hand, giving it a squeeze. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more to free you."

"But you did," she countered. "You and the vampires."

"Don't beat yourself up, sir," James threw in, standing straighter, his arm still linked with Cate's.

My pack went on to explain how they got away from the factory after breaking the door down, finding this hospital, James and Paige coming out to get me.

"I've never run so much in my life," Trev said. "Wild. But we avoided the horde, only having to take down a handful of zombies until we found this place."

I sighed heavily. "Thank God."

"What about you, Miko?" Andrew wondered. "Aside from killing Lance."

I'm dying to save my mate! my inner voice screamed.

"Can I have some water first, please?" I asked, keeping that box closed. "If there is any?"

Get stronger.

Get out there.

Get to the gates.

Malorie presented me with a full bottle of water. "This is fresh from outside. We've been filling up as many bottles and jars we can find."

"Excellent. Thanks." I took the water, gulping down half of it.

I explained my story, laying down every detail, including the truth about Wendy and her magical honey.

Arlo spoke first. "Holy. Shit."

"Right?" I responded. "The problem is getting that honey. We're running out of time. Dawn wants me dead. It wants all of us dead. And it won't be long before it nails turning supernaturals into biters."

"Daria said it felt like she was slowly dying again," Cate responded. "Like she was possessed, becoming a zombie."

Which was slightly different to how Dawn worked on humans. But whatever. It still worked toward the same goal, getting stronger by the day.

"Poor Orion," Paige said. "What are we going to do?"

Basil caught my eye. "King Damien will not open the gates. Especially now."

No shit. "Is there a back door or something?"

The fae glowered at me. "If there were, do you not think I would have used it by now?"

Dickhead. I folded my arms tightly across my chest. "I'm not taking no for an answer. If this whole thing has taught me anything, it's that there are possibilities everywhere. We just have to find them."

Listen to me being all buoyant when Orion suffered a knife to the stomach.

"The gates only open from the inside," Basil said pessimistically.

Why didn't he just lob salt in my eyes? It would piss me off less.

"I wish I had an answer for you," Andrew contributed.

"Isn't there always an emergency back door?" Trev said, scratching his chin.

The big guy was from Faery himself—Plumsea Village. But that didn't give him access to the realm's secrets.

"If there were, only the king would know," Basil said. "But I doubt it even exists. A back door would be dangerous."

His gloom started deflating my mood.

James swiveled his cap so the brim faced forward. "We'll put our heads together and come up with something."

"Food will help," Malorie said. "Let me warm up some spaghetti hoops. Everyone hungry?"

We all responded with a yes, my stomach grumbling.

How could I eat at a time like this?

Get strong.

Get to him.

Paige chuckled. "That's what I like to hear, sir." She winked at me.

I smiled for a couple of seconds then had a thought. "Could we try mind-walking again? See if we can find extra details?"

Everyone's shock came at me in waves. Why did I even suggest it? Going down that road again would fuck things up further.

"Sorry," I said quickly. "Scratch that."

Malorie clutched her throat. "If I thought it would help…" She rubbed her left temple. "And Trev's power has run its course. There is no more oracle energy to use."

"Sucks," the troll said.

Malorie seemed upset.

I did some damage control. "I really didn't mean to stir things up. I'm just desperate. I want my mate."

There went the blender again. Chaotic, violent, painful, ready to spray its contents everywhere.

The weredolphin came closer, taking both my hands in hers. "My heart goes out to you. And like James said, we will figure this out."

"Thanks."

She released my hands, hugging her husband. Jealousy poked me with a stick. I wanted to hold my man, to feel something happier than this torment, this knotted energy.

I unfolded my arms, gripping the edge of the bed. "I don't know what to do."

"According to my calculations," Paige said, "we're about a four hour walk away from Dunstable." My medic also possessed useful navigation skills. "If we can find some transport like bicycles, that cuts the time down."

"Excellent."

James gave me an apologetic look, sorrowful lasers practically shooting out of his pupils to pierce my soul.

I folded my arms again, not liking this already. "What is it?"

He stroked the rim of his cap, pushing his teeth against his mouth.

"James?" I pressed, hating hesitation.

"London is nine hours away."

Shit.

"If you were to successfully cross into Faery," Basil joined in, "you would have to add in around eleven or twelve hours' worth of flying time to the Forest of the Lost."

Double shit.

"I'm sorry, Miko." James dipped his head, his defeat painful to watch.

And there was the crux of it. In four hours, I could end this, stop Dawn before it became unstoppable.

Back here again, was I? Back to giving up on happiness to save the world.

Damn.

"I don't know what to do," I said again. "I really don't know what to do."

What sort of alpha said that? The proper answer was to head north for Dunstable. Any real leader would do that.

"We understand," Cate responded. "If this was on my shoulders, I couldn't…" She paused, making sad eyes at her husband. "I couldn't leave you, even for the greater good."

James cupped the side of her face. "Agreed, my darling heart."

Basil huffed, parking his arse on a plastic chair. He crossed his legs, every inch of him tense. "This is ridiculous."

Here we go. "Just say what you have to say."

"You searched for answers all this time, got them, and now you want to throw them away?" He tutted, shaking his head.

Would I get away with breaking his nose? "Be careful."

He paid no attention to my warning. "I'm being honest. You know what your destiny entails."

Cate stepped in. "And you just heard about the honey. We don't have to lose Miko."

Basil sighed, rubbing his left cheek, a dusting of blond stubble there. "Look, I'm not dismissing your love for Orion. I may not be the biggest fan of your bonding, but I respect it. This isn't me trying to move in and win Orion back. Our time is done thanks to my stupidity. I only want to be his friend."

I cooled off a bit. I knew my bonding to Orion hurt him, but it was good to hear he wanted to move on.

"I might be a lot of things," he continued, "but I know when to give up on something that wasn't meant to be." His stare was so direct it turned my blood cold. "Maybe the same applies here."

Ah, fuck. Damn him. "Just stop."

"I'm simply being pragmatic."

Yeah, he was. And I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want brutal reality. I wanted hope and sunshine. But Orion was too far away, and the sun was beginning to set on everything. By the time we reunited, things?—

"You talk a lot of sense, Basil," Andrew said. "Love, however, is illogical."

We weren't doing this. We weren't having this conversation, waxing lyrical about complications of the heart. I really wasn't in the fucking mood, my reason about to shatter.

I wanted Ori.

I wanted him alive and in my arms. Right. Now.

Still, I had a choice to make.

Be selfish. Be selfless. Pick a direction. Live by the decision. Die by the decision. Being selfish could kill everyone here. Being selfless meant…

Shit. What would Orion think if I told him I was giving up on us to save the world? Would he be mad? Could anyone be mad at that?

I left the ward for a moment, the room too close, too many bodies and voices around me. Alone time would help.

With my back against the wall, my arms folded so tightly, I found myself stuck again. Drifting into my thoughts, languishing in dread, swaying on the edge of heartbreak.

I hated being stuck. I hated indecision.

Tears blurred my vision, breaking free, rolling silently down my cheeks. The pressure got too much. I slid down the wall, losing myself to weakness. Hating myself more.

When would this wheel stop spinning?

Folding my arms across the top of my knees, I buried my face in them and drew deep breaths, trying to calm down. Then I felt a squishy presence in my pocket. Belle, my unicorn stress ball, still there. I fished her out and squeezed her in time with each second.

"Thanks," I whispered.

Belle, named by Orion and gifted by James, always helped me out whenever I wandered too far into stress.

Thump, thump.

I lifted my head. "Orion?"

Thump, thump.

His heartbeat came through louder than normal, heavier.

"Orion?"

No answer, only those unsettling beats.

"Ori?"

Nothing.

"Ori?"

"I'm here… I'm… I'm okay."

His voice. His sweet, sweet voice. "You're not."

"I will… I will be."

"Don't leave me." Why did I say that when on the cusp of leaving him?

"I… I won't. I better… I better rest."

"I'll be…" I couldn't finish, and the connection faded away.

Hearing him made the indecision worse, the frustration unbearable. It made me a sobbing mess, a useless lump in a hospital corridor without a clue of its next move.

Damn.

Just damn.