Chapter Seven

I'm running and trying to push away any thoughts and expectations about tomorrow's dinner with Luc, but my mind keeps going back to what I should wear, where he's taking me, whether I should tell the girls or not. I'm so focused on trying not to think about him that I almost don't notice that he's running in the opposite direction, with his brother, Daniel and Maurice.

Both him and his brother are shirtless, wearing some kind of black elastic belt around their chests, like those that are used to measure your heart rate. When Luc sees me he smiles and nods at me, then keeps his focus on his run. It's a vision of hell, or heaven, depending on your point of view. His torso is toned to perfection, his shorts are hanging low on his waist, and because he isn't wearing a T-shirt, somehow his glutes are more displayed than usual.

Again I have trouble pushing my thoughts of him away. Almost an hour later I finish my run a few blocks before Fresh Me Up. When I'm about to open the door I see him there with his brother getting smoothies. Andi isn't there today, Lesley is. She's only there in the mornings when Andi has the day off. She's ok, if I don't consider the fact that she never remembers my usual order. I mean, really? I always order the same thing. But the problem is, what I see right now really bothers me. She's all smiles and blushing while Luc's writing something on a piece of paper, which he's giving her back.

Oh for fuck's sake.

The guy has a date with me tomorrow and needs to give his phone number to the girl at the café the first time he sees her?

Did I just say date? And since when am I the jealous type?

I don't know what's gotten into me. I decide to skip my smoothie routine today. I don't remember the last time this happened. Oh, wait, of all the three years I've lived here it's never happened unless I was travelling.

I go home as fast as I can and pretend I didn't see anything.

As crazy as it may sound, this weird feeling I have inside of me—something comparable to rage and jealousy, which doesn't even make any sense—makes me madly inspired. And so I drown myself in work. I basically create enough designs for two different collections, even though I know only two or three tops might be used. I skip all the meals that follow breakfast. This happens when I'm too focused on a project, or when I'm too anxious about something. I decide to have a glass of milk before falling hard on the bed before it's even dark outside.

#

The next day I'm woken by the doorbell. I check my watch: 10:00 am. Why didn't my alarm go off? Oh—because it's Saturday. It must be Naomi and Lexi to take a look at the lingerie.

I look like a mess—I'm still in yesterday's clothes, even my makeup's still on. I press the button to open the front door downstairs and wait for them to reach my floor, still trying to fully wake up.

‘Were you still sleeping?' asks Lexi, as if she's just caught me doing something illicit.

‘I guess I was,' I say, letting out a yawn.

‘Who are you? Where's my friend?' jokes Naomi as she gives me a hug. She smells so good, like honey and jasmine. I love her taste in fragrances.

I welcome them in and tell them to make themselves at home and get something to eat from the kitchen while I change into something fresh and brush my teeth.

When I get back to the kitchen feeling a bit more like myself, Naomi is making scrambled eggs while Lexi watches her, sharing today's gossip.

‘I can't handle the Hemsworth family,' says Lexi. Yes, her gossip updates are usually about movie stars, or singers, or athletes; any famous person really.

‘Yeah, they're hot. I like Chris best,' says Naomi

‘Me too. I mean look at those abs and arms. I wonder what's like to be Elsa Pataky and have children with him,' says Lexi.

‘Oh my God, why are you talking about children?' I ask.

‘It's not about children, it's about the Hemsworth family. Come sit, Naomi has your breakfast taken care of,' says Lexi.

‘What about them?' I ask as I sit on a stool next to her.

‘The males of that family are blessed,' she says and Naomi lets out a laugh.

‘She's horny,' teases Naomi.

‘Shut up, Naomi,' hisses Lexi.

Lexi's browsing her Instagram and shows me some pictures of Chris Hemsworth shirtless on some beach in Australia. Then she shows me some of Liam's and Luke's too, to make a fair comparison, according to her.

‘I prefer Liam,' I say.

‘I respect that,' she says, serious.

She keeps browsing on her Instagram, jumping from one profile to another, figuring out who's dating who and travelling where.

‘You're so addicted to that thing,' I say.

‘Yeah, if you had a profile you would be too, all the world's gossip and news is right here,' she says.

‘Not interested,' I say.

I'm not a social media kind of person. Ever since Josh and I broke up I deleted all my profiles from the web and haven't created one since, not even on LinkedIn for work. But even before we broke up I already hadn't used it much, he used to get angry anytime a male friend liked or commented on a status or picture of mine. There were many fights over the same subject over and over, and so I kind of developed an aversion to that. And well, there was also the stalking after the breakup.

‘Are you hungry?' asks Naomi from the counter.

‘A bit,' I say.

Having Naomi fixing me breakfast reminds me of when she took care of me after the breakup, precisely the day after, when my face was swollen and my ribcage hurt every time I breathed. I was so grateful that day to have her taking care of me without questions or accusations. I was glad I didn't have to go to my parents', considering the state I was in.

‘Thank you Naomi, you didn't have to.'

‘Have you been eating?' she asks as she transfers the eggs from the pan into a plate. She sounds like Dad, always worried about me eating enough.

‘Of course I've been eating,' I say, defensively.

She eyes me suspiciously, as if by doing so she could extract truth from me. She doesn't, but she knows I lied.

‘What?' I ask looking between my two friends who are watching me in the way they do when they want some kind of confession.

‘You haven't been like yourself lately,' says Lexi. ‘And you're hiding something.'

‘I'm not hiding anything, and I'm still myself. What makes you think that?'

I take the plate Naomi gives me with eggs and toast and use it as an excuse not to meet their eyes.

‘You never wake up late, you are always defensive when we talk to you lately, and you seem anxious,' says Naomi. ‘I know you don't eat when you're anxious.'

Why do they know me so well?

‘What's wrong with sleeping until late? I worked a lot in the past two days. I just want to finish the new designs as soon as possible, it's making me anxious, of course,' I say as I chew. Swallowing is hard.

They keep watching me.

‘Is it the cute neighbour?' asks Lexi, teasingly bumping her knee to mine.

‘Is there something about him you aren't telling us?' says Naomi widening her eyes in excitement, urging me to tell something juicy.

‘No and no. You guys, would you just leave it? There is nothing going on,' I lie, of course, there is no way I'm telling them I'm having a date with him tonight. Not when I myself don't even understand what's going on between us. Not when I don't know how I feel about this, about Luc. Soon he will leave and I won't have to talk about him to them anymore. Besides, I don't want them to make a big deal about tonight, I'm already doing the job myself. I'm even considering cancelling. Why did I agree to this dinner anyways?

‘Fine,' says Lexi, now defeated, seeming to have finally accepted I might truly have nothing to hide.

‘Is he on Instagram?' But she continues, to my annoyance.

‘How am I supposed to know that?' I say, my mouth full of toast.

‘Yeah, right, sometimes I forget you live in a non-social media world. What's his last name? I'm gonna try to find him,' she says.

I don't know his last name, is that weird? I mean, I didn't think knowing his last name would be important, I've only met him five days ago, not that I'm counting or anything.

‘Lexi, stop it,' I say, making it sound like I'm only annoyed by the fact that she wants to find his Instagram profile and not because I don't want to admit that I don't know his full name.

‘Oh my God, you don't know his last name, do you?'

‘Is it that important?' I ask, lying to myself. ‘It's not like I'm going to see him again.' I'm such a liar.

‘Of course it is. I mean, he's been in your home, he's cute—or so you say, because you know, we haven't seen the guy yet—and how are you supposed to stalk him on social media once he leaves?'

‘I'm no social media stalker,' I say, and she immediately regrets saying it. She knows very well this is actually the main reason I'm not on social media anymore, not even with fake profiles.

‘Where is the lingerie?' asks Naomi, changing the subject.

Once I'm done eating we head to my office. Yesterday I hung the bodysuits, robes and babydolls on the stand, the other pieces are spread out neatly on the big table, each bra and bralette with matching knickers, thongs and panties. There are also suspender belts.

‘I've been crazy about this one since I saw you designing it,' says Naomi, holding high-waisted silk knickers in pale pink with golden botanical details.

‘They are gorgeous, just feel this,' says Lexi holding the matching bra feeling the silk fabric between her fingers.

They amuse me. I love it how they make me feel better and how they love my work. I imagine if I ever have my own brand they will be my first clients, no doubt.

‘No, seriously Livvy. What would your brand be called if you were to have one?' asks Naomi, as if reading my mind.

I roll my eyes at her, pretending I haven't been thinking a lot about it lately.

‘Yeah. Let's discuss names,' says Lexi.

‘Guys, let's not.'

‘C'mon, are you saying you haven't been considering it?' Teases Lexi.

‘I might, but—'

‘But what? You're talented, you have experience, you've got the money and support. What else do you need?' says Naomi.

I just watch her. I don't know what to say, because she does have a point. The problem is just, I'm afraid. There are so many things involved.

‘Just … think about it, Livvy,' says Lexi, moving on to the next lingerie set.

I'm glad when we move on to the next topic, Lewis. I haven't seen Naomi excited about a date in a long while. I know it's because Lewis is a big deal to her. Then there's Lexi and Thomas's lack of sex issue, which she's still hesitant to talk about.

‘When are you going to talk to him about it?' I ask Lexi.

‘I don't know how to do it or what to say. Tommy is a bit closed up about the subject,' she says.

‘Are you saying you guys never talk about sex?' asks Naomi, unable to hide the surprise in her face.

‘Why? Should we talk about it?' asks Lexi innocently.

Naomi and I exchange looks.

‘Hmm, yeah? You guys have been together for how long? Almost ten years?' says Naomi.

‘Yeah. He was my first and only.'

‘Exactly, Lexi. Talk to him, sometimes a simple conversation can do wonders,' says Naomi.

They stay until late afternoon. I almost kick them out when I check the time and realise I should probably start getting ready for dinner. The dinner they don't know about. The dinner I refuse to consider a date. Is it bad that I'm hiding this from them? I know eventually I will probably tell them, in a couple of years when they have already forgotten there was ever a cute guy in my building. They will probably be mad, but they'll forgive me, it will be better than having them putting pressure onto all this right now.