Chapter 8

Chapter 8

“How is your bride?”

“She is not my bride, Lucien,” Philip sighed.

His friend was a lot more optimistic than he had been, to his credit. However, he was too overzealous for his own good at times, and that did not stop with Lady Jacqueline.

“She seemed quite disappointed about your absence at breakfast, your mother says,” Lucien continued. “She did not speak at all, instead eating and then leaving with her sister and your mother.”

“Yes, my mother mentioned that. A market.”

“Is she ready to do battle?”

“Who? My mother?”

“Lady Jacqueline,” he chuckled. “The first time I visited you after the accident, your mother bought me a new dining table simply because I mentioned that I was looking into acquiring one. She is quite eager.”

“She certainly is, but I have warned Lady Jacqueline about that in a note.”

“A note? Are you yet to speak to her?”

“Of course not. Why, I spoke to her this morning before breakfast. I sent her a note because that is what one does when sending flowers.”

“Oh God, like mother like son.”

“It is not a gift, it is a gesture.”

“Certainly.”

“It is! I am well aware that I am not the sort of gentleman to have a lady like her, but we have found a mutual understanding, and we are going to see what happens.”

“Ah, so it is going well thus far.”

“Yes, in spite of her father’s best efforts. Can you believe that he did not say a word of the arrangement to his daughter? How can one do that and expect her not to take it badly?”

“I suppose he did it so that she could not rebel until she was already here. Arranged marriages can have that outcome.”

“In any case, it certainly did not help matters. Could you imagine if she thought I was in on his plan? She would have hated me.”

“She did not hate you when you accused her of trying to entrap you in marriage, so I doubt she would have taken it that far.”

“I do not find you entertaining.”

“That is quite the shame, for I certainly do.”

“In any case,” Philip said with a sigh, “we have discussed it, and have agreed to become friends and then see if that becomes a real courtship, just as I had planned to begin with.”

Lucien nodded, then suddenly looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“Hang on a moment, when did these conversations take place? You were both absent at dinner last night, and you were absent at breakfast. When did you find time for a conversation?”

“Two conversations,” Philip corrected him. “We have had two thus far, and it has been while we were both outside on walks. She seems quite at ease with me, believe it or not, and I certainly had not seen that coming.”

“But has she seen you yet?”

Philip was sure that his friend meant well, but it did not make him feel good to hear such words.

“You say that as though you expect Jackie to go running once she sees my face.”

“Of course not.”

“Why not? You know perfectly well that it is a possibility.”

“Possible yes, likely no.”

“But why did you say it like that?”

“Like what?”

“As if you expect her to run a mile upon bearing witness to me. I would have thought that you would be more supportive.”

“My apologies. Of course I do not mean it like that. I do not wish to discourage you, and I never have. This will be good for you, as your mother and I have told you time and again. I am not concerned that this girl will not like you, I am simply concerned because this sort of behavior is unlike you. Nothing more.”

It was true. Philip had changed since Lady Ophelia had shunned him, and he had thought for the longest time that he would not find happiness a second time, and now that Lady Jacqueline had arrived it gave him hope that he could trust that happiness again.

Regardless of how much he wanted to, however, he had to admit that Lucien was right; his sudden change in behavior was strange, and he had to remember not to throw himself in too far, lest it not end well once more.

“Was this a mistake?” Philip asked.

“No, no of course it wasn’t,” Lucien replied, though he did not sound certain. “I only want what is best for you, and you to only act when you are sure it is right to, as you do with everything else.”

Philip nodded, understanding his position completely, when there was a knock at the door.

“Excuse me, Your Grace,” the butler said quietly. “Lord Pemberton wishes to speak with you.”

Philip groaned. He did not wish to speak to Lady Jacqueline’s father for the moment, frustrated with him after what he had done. He did not want to discuss any particular matter with him until he had calmed down about it, and he did not know when that would be.

Even so, he had to be a good host, and that included speaking to his guests whether he was pleased with their actions or not.

“We can continue this conversation later,” he said to Lucien, who simply nodded and left the room, and Lord Pemberton entered soon after.

“Before you say a word,” Philip said firmly. “I want to make it clear to you that I am unimpressed by what you have done.”

“What might that be, Your Grace? I do believe I have acted as any good guest should during my stay here.”

“It is the reason for your visit here that has left me unimpressed.”

“What do you mean, Your Grace? Is my daughter not pleasing to you?”

“She most certainly is, but the fact that you have brought her here without telling her the true purpose of the visit has left me anything but pleased.”

“Ah, you have come to learn that.”

“You know perfectly well that I would have eventually. What sort of marriage, if that was truly your goal, would be made up of two people that do not discuss things with one another?”

“My marriage worked perfectly well that way. We found it more amicable.”

“Well, thank God that such a fate will not befall me. It does not matter what excuse you give, it was completely wrong of you to deceive your daughter in such a manner. I did not agree to this arrangement thinking that I was fooling a sweet lady. It astounds me that not only did you choose to do such a thing, but that you are so evidently proud of it.”

Suddenly, he saw the earl falter.

“I am not proud,” he mumbled. “I may act as though I have no regrets, but that is precisely as it appears to be, an act.”

Philip tried not to roll his eyes at the man.

“You see,” he continued. “I am every bit the coward that you think I am, but I only needed more time.”

“You had enough time to tell her.”

“I did, but I did not know how to broach the subject. I thought, I hoped, that if we gave it enough time for the two of you to get along before I revealed the truth to her, she might have been more willing to listen. I was only wanting to soften the truth, not to trick my own daughter.”

Philip did not believe the excuse, but he pitied the man a great deal.

“Then why did you not warn me of that fact? Your scheme was ruined instantly by my mother, for she had no way of knowing not to say a word. Even if I wanted to go along with your plan, I could not have when you did not tell me that there was one to begin with.”

“I am embarrassed enough, Your Grace,” Lord Pemberton snapped. “Is that what you want me to say? I am embarrassed that I have been reduced to putting my daughter in this position. I never once thought that I would have to do this to her, and now here I am. Forgive me for not being man enough to tell her when it was convenient.”

His explanation was precisely why Philip pitied him. As the father, the head of the household, he was supposed to shoulder such responsibilities as having the difficult conversations and making the difficult choices, and yet he was unable to. It was difficult to see how he managed to find a wife to begin with, but then he had no way of knowing how affluent Lord Pemberton had been before gambling it all away.

It was entirely possible that his wife’s death had destroyed him, though his revelation that the two of them never shared things with each other caused that idea to be questioned greatly.

“Does she hate me?” Lord Pemberton asked, defeated.

“I cannot answer for her,” Philip sighed. “But your plan is not ruined as yet. She and I discussed it this morning, and she is willing to go ahead with the courtship. Should it go well, then the marriage will happen, and it will be as though you never betrayed her. But should we change our minds, you are never to blame her for it. You only have yourself to find fault with for lying to her. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Your Grace. I ought to speak to her myself about it, so that I might explain it all.”

“She will be having an enjoyable time right now. You will not ruin that when she returns. If she wishes to talk to you about it, then she will do so in her own time. For now, I want her to enjoy her time here and to be in the best spirits possible so that the two of us might find a connection. Do you understand?”

Lord Pemberton nodded, apologizing once more before leaving the study. With a groan, Philip rested his head on the desk. In spite of what men in gentlemen’s clubs said, he had to admit that ladies had always been easier to be around.

He was not a lady’s man, nothing of the sort, but they were far easier to talk to, and to understand. He found himself missing Lady Jacqueline, as he had enjoyed their conversation that morning, and he wanted to continue it.

Then he thought of how she was eager to see his face, and he was less inclined to see her so quickly. He did not know how to handle that situation, as he could not hide himself forever. The last time a lady had seen the extent of his injuries, it had been Lady Ophelia, and when she did see them, she immediately called off their engagement.

It had destroyed him, and he had never fully recovered from it. The first lady to see them, however, had led to an even worse experience. It had been his mother, and he hated that she had never looked at him in the same way since.

It was not with disgust, but with fear. Ever since that day, she had cared for him as though he were a child of eight, not a man of eight-and-twenty. She had been so careful with him ever since, and he had hated it. That was why he was so frightened of showing Lady Jacqueline the extent of his injuries.

He had only ever seen two responses—to run away or to act as though he needed protecting. He could not decide which of the two was worse.