Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Relief.

That was all that Philip could feel as he closed his eyes that night; relief that Lady Jacqueline had given him another opportunity, that Lady Ophelia’s sudden appearance had only brought them closer, and that Lady Jacqueline had not run off with Lucien.

With every moment he spent with her, Philip could feel himself being drawn more and more to her. He had found himself wanting nothing more than to simply be around her that evening, which was what had possessed him to go to dinner.

It had been a frightening prospect, and he did not know what to expect when it came to her family, but he was grateful to see that they accepted him, even if they needed a moment to adjust. Only her father had seen him before, when planning the courtship, and even then he was wearing his mask.

And then they touched during the game. It was only their hands lightly brushing, not enough to make even the most stalwart matrons blush, but even so he had felt the strangest thing wash over him. Fortunately, one look at Lady Jacqueline proved that she had felt it too, and he was pleased to know that he was not the only one affected.

Then came a sense of unease as he lay in his bed. How could he prove to her how serious he felt about their courtship?

He had gone to dinner, and it had taken a lot of courage and made him feel quite uncomfortable, but he was pleased to have done so by the end of the evening. Then again, it did not mean that he was ready to go out into the world and bare his scars for all to see. It was easier to hide in the shadows than step into the sun, and he preferred it that way.

It was strange for him to have even shown his face to Lady Ophelia, who had seen it before, but he had not cared about what she thought. His only intentions were to prevent her from saying something unkind to Lady Jacqueline.

He had been thinking a lot about his behavior around Lady Jacqueline of late, and he wondered if it was truly nothing more than mere gratitude for what she had done for him, or if it was something more.

He shook the thoughts from his head. She had only been there for a few days. Was that truly enough time to like someone so much that he could feel jealousy at the sight of her with another man?

He wanted to do something for her.

“And where are we going?” She asked the next morning, laughing as she followed him out into the gardens, a maid in tow to act as chaperone.

“Is it not evident from the basket?” He asked, lifting it up pointedly.

“It could be a few things. Perhaps you have simply brought a lot of candles to light and put out, and that is our activity for the day.”

“Would you be entertained by that?”

“I do not believe so, no.”

“Ah, that is a shame indeed, for that is precisely what I had in mind for the two of us.”

He kept up the act until they had reached their destination, and he then placed the basket on the ground and allowed her to open it. She gasped at the picnic that he had prepared; little sandwiches, biscuits, cakes, and drinks.

“I must thank your cook when I see her,” she said wistfully.

“You can thank me whenever you please.”

“What?”

“I could not sleep last night,” he explained. “It had been rather eventful, and I needed something to do with my hands this morning. Granted, I did not bake the bread, but other than that this was all made by myself.”

“But these—these are my favorites!” She said in surprise as she searched the contents. “How did you know?”

“Your sister knows everything about you,” he smirked. “And she was more than happy to tell me what you would like to eat.”

“You truly have thought of everything, haven’t you?”

“I hope so, yes. I have been wanting to do something for you, and this is what I settled on.”

“You have done exactly the right thing,” she smiled, serving him some of the food he had prepared. “Did you include any of your own favorites?”

He had not been expecting that question.

“No,” he replied. “I was only thinking of yours, though I must say I do enjoy them a lot.”

“Oh, in that case, what are your favorites?”

He certainly had not expected that question. Nobody had ever cared to ask about his preferences other than his own parents, even when he was out in society, whole , as he so often put it. It had never been about what others could do for him, only what he could do for them, and he hadn’t minded that too much. When a man was in a position such as his, it was only fair that he gave back, after all. But then, as he watched his friends disappear when he needed them, he realized that he truly did need people to care about him.

And now here she was.

“I suppose I am partial to cucumber,” he said quietly.

“Cucumber?” She echoed. “Do you not like anything a little more adventurous?”

“I enjoy jam.”

“Which kind is your favorite?”

“Strawberry.”

“Ah, mine is blackberry. You knew that, of course.”

“Yes, and your sister explained that you do not like too much of it. A thin layer, so that the bread has a flavor but nothing more.”

“Precisely! If there is too much then it is too sweet. I cannot stand it.”

“Then I swear never to forget that,” he promised. “What else might you enjoy, picnic food aside?”

“Well, music, as you know, though I do also truly enjoy literature. I did not think to bring the book I am reading right now, but thus far I have been far too busy to read it. I can look forward to seeing it again upon my return, though!”

“Which book is it?”

“It is Waverly by Sir Walter Scott. I am thoroughly enjoying it, though I am barely even a quarter of the way through it.”

“I have read that before! It was the first thing that I read after the accident. It is truly an incredible story, you will love it.”

“Do you like to read?”

“I am a reclusive man that scarcely ever leaves his household. Other than playing the pianoforte and handling my county, what else is there for me to do?”

She laughed, and then sipped her lemonade.

“If I ask you something,” she said carefully. “Do you promise not to mock me?”

“I shall do my utmost not to, but it is entirely dependent on your question.”

“As a duke, are you taught different languages?”

“I certainly was, yes.”

“But is that because you are a duke, or because your parents ensured that you had many tutors?”

“It is vital that dukes speak many languages. We never know who we might have to meet, as the King and Queen know people in various countries, and so we must be able to communicate with them.”

“I never truly had a need to learn them, but I adore French and Latin.”

“I am fluent in both. I also enjoy Spanish, though I cannot claim to be perfect at it.”

“What are your favorite words?”

“I wish you would stop making me wonder about these things.”

“You need not answer,” she smirked.

“Oh, no, I certainly will,” he replied, thinking for a moment. “For French, I would say it is escorce . It means the bark of a tree. As for Latin, I would say prodigiosus , meaning something unnatural and wonderful. And for Spanish, it is azacán .”

“What does that mean?”

“It is a word for someone who is particularly anxious about their responsibilities or business.”

She seemed to like that one the most.

“I may never meet the King and Queen’s prestigious guests from foreign lands,” she said with a gentle laugh. “But I do think it would be helpful to speak a second language with someone, so that we could use it around others, so that they would not know what we were discussing.”

“Then we can make your French even better and do that,” he suggested, to which she nodded.

“These are truly delicious,” she sighed, biting into a cream cake. “If you ever decide that a dukedom is not for you, you would make an excellent baker.”

“If only I had such a choice.”

“Yes, of course. My apologies, I do not mean to remind you of your role.”

“You need not apologize. I am incredibly fortunate for my place in society, and I would not trade it for anything.”

He wanted to take her seriously, but he saw the cream on the corner of her lips, and it distracted him entirely. He gestured to the corner of his own mouth, and she tried to wipe it away, but she missed it. He chuckled, doing it a second time, but this time—when she did not get it—he gave in and leaned forward, placing his hand gently on her face to wipe it away himself.

He froze.

“I do apologize,” he said quickly. “I should not be taking liberties with you like that.”

But she was giggling, a blush creeping across her cheeks, and he had to admit, if only to himself, that he was not sorry in the slightest.

“It is fine,” she assured him. “You did not do anything that I did not want you to do.”

“Is that to say that you deliberately did not clean it away yourself?”

“It is to say that a lady of my age is typically able to remove cream from her lips.”

His heart thudded, the heat of her skin still lingering on his fingers. She was far more intelligent than any lady he had ever met, a quick wit, just as his mother was, and he loved it about her. He had never wanted a wife that would simper and fan herself demurely, and she was proof of this. If anything, he wanted to be kept on his toes—he had to be.

The sun was high when they left for the picnic, but it was beginning to dip beneath the trees, the sky turning red. He saw Lady Jacqueline looking at the sky, sighing.

“I ought to return to the house,” she said begrudgingly. “It will be dinner soon, and I do not wish to be late.”

“No, of course not,” he replied, hating the fact that time passed.

“Will you be joining us again tonight?”

“I believe so, though I shall have a few things to take care of before I make my appearance, namely returning this basket.”

“I can help you, if you wish.”

“Do not worry, I can do it. You go and prepare for dinner, and I shall see you later.”

He hated that he had not accepted her request, but he refused to have her help him when she was his guest, or even the lady he was courting. It simply would not do.

She left with her maid, and he watched her go before lying back in the grass and closing his eyes. It had been a wonderful afternoon, and once more he had found himself alone after spending time with Lady Jacqueline, and missing her greatly. He could not wait to see her again, hence he would go to dinner, but he also knew that he would be quite occupied in the coming days, and he was already suffering over the matter.

He would, however, find time for her. He promised himself that he would, because she had been gone a few mere moments, maid in tow, and already he longed to see her again.

And he still could not believe that he felt that way.