4. Blake

Blake looks behind her at Dr. Amory Paver as she unlocks the door to the cabin. Amory has looked angry throughout the flight and her lovely face looks upset now and Blake can't blame her. Blake knows she messed up all those years ago, but she doesn't know what to do about it.

Amory's long hair is escaping the elastic and soft honeyed tendrils are falling over her face. It has never escaped Blake's notice that Amory is beautiful; with a lovely feminine face and delicate features and big aqua blue eyes. Although the problem with Amory is that she has always been way too uptight.

Her and Amory were never very close, but what do you say to the girl whose girlfriend you fucked years ago? And now they're sharing a cabin together and are expected to work together for the first time in years.

Blake doesn't understand why, but she hopes that maybe this is a second chance. That maybe she can make amends, even if she doesn't know how.

She opens the door and holds it open for Amory, who walks through, dragging her suitcase behind her, and Blake can't help but look at the swing of her hips below her backpack. She looks away. She shouldn't have looked in the first place.

Once Amory is inside, Blake rolls her suitcase through the door and shuts the door behind her before she looks around. There's a little kitchen area, a room that leads to a small bathroom, and a problem.

"What the fuck," Amory says, looking in the center of the room, where Blake is also looking. "There's only one bed?"

It's not a big bed either. It's one of those long twins, like the kind you see on college campuses.

"Well," Blake says, not really sure what to say, "yeah there is."

"What are we supposed to do?" Amory asks. "Where are we supposed to sleep?"

"I suppose we could share the bed," Blake suggests, and Amory makes a noise of disgust that reminds her that Amory hates her, that they're supposed to hate each other.

"I am not sharing a bed with you," Amory declares, and Blake has to pretend that statement doesn't hurt her.

"Well, where are you going to sleep then?" Blake asks. "Because I'm not sleeping on the floor." It doesn't matter to her that Amory hates her, and probably rightfully, if she wants to make a big deal out of sharing a bed, then she can sleep somewhere else.

"Fine," Amory says, "I'll sleep on the floor, then."

"Seriously?" Blake asks.

"It's better than sleeping with you," Amory says, and Blake rolls her eyes. It's just a bed. Amory is being too overdramatic.

"If that's what you want, then fine," Blake responds.

"I hate this," Amory says.

"Like you hate me?" Blake asks, unable to resist the temptation to get a rise out of her. And, okay, if she's honest with herself, the idea that anyone hates her stings. But, she supposes she deserves it. She didn't know that Natalie was Amory's girlfriend until Amory walked in on the two of them together, but she did know that Natalie had a girlfriend and she still slept with her.

It was horrible, what she did, and she can recognize that now, even if younger and hornier her didn't see what a bad idea sleeping with someone else's girlfriend was. She also knows that at times she was a bitch to Amory at med school and during their surgical residency together, but Amory was never a saint. The two of them were at each other's throats the entire time they knew one another.

It all came to a head when Amory caught Blake with Natalie, however, and the two of them have hardly spoken since.

"I hate you more than this place," Amory states, and Blake can't ignore how much that hurts, no matter how much she wants to.

There's something about being hated that never sits well. Even if she knows she deserves it, she can't shake this urge to do something about it, to make it up to Amory, to apologize and mean it. After all, they're both queer women in the medical field. On paper, the two of them have more similarities than differences. But, Blake supposes, that's not how life works out.

"I'm going to boil some water," Blake says, changing the subject, "I'm starving."

"Fine," Amory says.

"Do you want to help?" Blake asks.

Amory sighs. "I guess so. Maybe prove to my mother that I'm not going to starve to death."

Blake doesn't know what Amory's talking about so she walks over to the small kitchen area and looks around to see what is there. She finds some pots and pans, pasta, and ground beef in the fridge. There are also some canned fruits and vegetables and beans. Beans sound like a good idea, but with how long they take to cook, she knows they'll be there all night, so her and Amory decide on pasta with meat.

There are also some juices and bottles of water in the fridge to drink. With cholera going around, she supposes that's a much safer alternative than drinking tap water, but for the pasta, as long as they boil the water, it'll be safe.

She starts to cook and Amory helps her in silence. It's not a comfortable silence either. In fact, it's one of the most uncomfortable silences Blake's ever experienced. Amory's anger radiates off of her like light off of a star, and Blake keeps glancing at her only to receive glares in return. She tries to not let it bother her.

She gives Amory a smirk and Amory looks away in frustration.

"Are there any spices here?" Amory asks.

"I'll look," Blake says, finding some spices in a cabinet above her head. She hands them to Amory, who doesn't even give her a thank you.

Blake finishes boiling the pasta and Amory seasons it. The two of them sit at the small table in the cabin and eat.

Blake moans when she puts some of the food in her mouth. Amory did a good job.

"This is so good," she says.

"Tell that to my mother," Amory says.

"What?" Blake asks.

"Nothing," Amory says.

"No," Blake says, "what about your mother?"

"It's nothing. She just thinks I can't cook."

"Well, she must not have tastebuds," Blake says. "This is great."

Amory shrugs. "Anyone can make pasta."

"I don't know about that," Blake says. "You should have seen me when I was still in college, before medical school. I couldn't even cook ramen."

Amory looks at her in concern. "What did you even eat?" she asks.

"Well, I spent way too much money on a meal plan," Blake says, "but when the dining halls were closed, I would just eat ramen out of the packets."

Amory cringes. "Gross."

"I know," Blake says, "but this is good." She motions to the pasta.

Amory doesn't say anything else, but she does smile at Blake's compliment.

"I'm exhausted," Blake says. Between the food and not being able to sleep through the plane ride, she really wants to sleep for a whole day. But she knows she can't do that. She's scheduled to work tomorrow, bright and early. And the time zones are definitely confusing to her.

"Me too," Amory says, "that plane ride did not agree with me at all."

"Let's turn in," Blake says, and then she looks at Amory, the bed, and the floor. "Are you sure you want to sleep on the floor?"

Amory glares at Blake. "I'm not sleeping with you."

"Suit yourself," Blake says, "but I'm sure the bed is a lot more comfortable than this cabin floor."

"I'll cope," Amory deadpans.

"Fine," Blake says, not knowing what else to say. After all, Amory is a grown adult. If she wants to make such a big deal out of sharing a bed, Blake can't stop her.

"At least take some of the pillows and blankets," Blake says.

"Oh, I was planning on it."

Blake goes to the bed and takes one of the two comforters and a pillow and puts them on the floor. She wants to help Amory set up her sleeping spot, but she's not sure how well that will be received and her and Amory are already on thin ice as it is. So she watches as Amory fluffs the pillow and folds the blanket in half, sleeping bag style.

"That looks so comfy," Blake says, sarcastically.

"Shut up," Amory says, her aqua eyes flashing dangerously and Blake does, going over to the bed and wrapping herself in the leftover blanket.

She watches as Amory settles herself on the floor and sighs to herself. She never knew Amory to be so stubborn, but she supposes she shouldn't be surprised. It takes a certain amount of stubbornness to become a doctor, after all.

Blake is exhausted, but Jenna keeps texting her. She knows that it's not her fault. They didn't really plan for the time zone changes very well, but Blake finds herself growing frustrated at the lack of sleep.

Jenna: Did you get there safely? I never heard from you after you landed

Blake: Yes, but you're never going to believe what happened

Blake looks to the floor, where Amory is trying to fall asleep, turning on her sides and trying to find a comfortable position.

Jenna: Tell me this doesn't have something to do with Dr. Paver

Blake had told Jenna about the plane ride and everything, but she failed to update her about the cabin situation.

Blake: we're sharing a cabin

Jenna: Omg. Godspeed my friend

Blake: lol. I need it. She hates my guts

Jenna: I mean, not to sound like a bitch, but can you blame her?

Blake: Nope, I can't, but that's the sucky part.

Blake: I want to apologize but I don't even know how

Jenna: I mean, you can say you're sorry, but who knows if she'll even believe you

Blake: I just want to let her know that I'm not the same person I was back then

Blake: What I did was super fucked up, but I know that now.

Jenna: So tell her that.

Blake: Yeah, but who knows if she'll listen

Jenna: Well you can't make her listen

Jenna: But you'll never know if you don't try. You'll just both be miserable

Blake sighs to herself and looks at Amory again. Amory's eyes are closed, long eyelashes flickering, but Blake can tell by her breaths that she's still awake. She thinks to herself, why does she have to be so stubborn? But, then again, why did Blake have to sleep with her girlfriend?

Blake: Yeah. I might talk to her later. It's super late over here right now

Blake: And we're both super tired so I'm gonna talk to you later.

Jenna: Okay. Good night.

Blake: Good night.

Blake closes her eyes and falls asleep. It doesn't last long, however. She wakes up again a couple hours later to Amory tossing and turning on the floor. Blake tries hard to ignore her and go back to sleep, but she can't. Amory sighing and turning on the floor invades her thoughts, and she can't clear her mind enough to fall asleep.

Blake sighs and then she starts to get annoyed. Like, she gets that Amory hates her, and she understands why, but she doesn't need to be so stubborn about it to the point where she's uncomfortable. She doesn't get it. She would never do that if she were in Amory's shoes. But then again, she's not, and has never been in Amory's situation.

Amory turns over again and groans.

Blake rolls her eyes and looks over to where Amory is sleeping. It wouldn't be so bad if Amory wasn't so loud about her discomfort, but now Blake can't sleep and she needs her sleep. She's still like a teenager sometimes, especially when it comes to sleep. If she doesn't get at least nine hours, she's miserable the next day. That's part of the reason she was so bitchy during medical school and her residency.

Blake tries to ignore Amory once again, and it works for about an hour, as she's able to fall into a restless sleep, but then she wakes up again and she's getting pissed off. She really needs Amory to either stop rolling around or join her in the bed.

Maybe naked.

For fuck's sake, Blake! Turn off your inappropriate sex drive for once.

"Oh," Blake says, giving an overdramatic moan, "this bed sure is comfy."

"Fuck off."

"It's so comfy, I could sleep here forever," Blake says.

"Fuck off," Amory says again with a groan.

"Well at least I'm not tossing and turning," Blake says. "I'm sleeping on a comfortable mattress, so comfortable I could sink into it."

"You need to shut up," Amory says.

"Says you," Blake says. "You're making so much noise I'm sure the clinic can hear you from here."

"Well excuse me, but I'm uncomfortable."

"And who's fault is that, darling?" Blake asks. "Huh?"

"Yours," Amory says.

"Mine?" Blake asks. "How is it my fault?"

"Why don't you ask my ex-girlfriend?" Amory says.

"I didn't know she was your girlfriend at the time."

"That's bullshit," Amory states. "How could you possibly not know?"

"Well, it's not like I'm some crazy stalker who knows every detail of your life," Blake says, "and she never mentioned you."

"Seriously?" Amory asks.

"Yes, seriously," Blake says. "She said she had a girlfriend, but she never said who or gave me a name."

"Wait," Amory responds, "you knew she had a girlfriend and you still slept with her? Even if you didn't know she was my girlfriend, that's still so fucked up."

Blake frowns, but Amory is right. What she did all those years ago is fucked up, but still, it was years ago. She was a different person back then.

"I was an idiot," Blake says.

"You got that right," Amory agrees.

"But for what it's worth," Blake continues, "I wouldn't do that now. I've learned from my mistakes."

"Is that supposed to make it better?" Amory asks.

"What do you want from me?" Blake asks. "An apology? Because I am sorry. What I did was fucked up. Even if we never liked each other, what I did was messed up and I never should have slept with Natalie."

"I don't care if you're sorry," Amory replies, venom in her words. "What I want is for you to drop dead."

"What is your problem?" Blake asks.

"You slept with my girlfriend!" Amory exclaims.

"Years ago," Blake says. "And I've changed since then. People are allowed to change. Just like I know you've changed over the years, or do you want to tell me that you're the same girl who sabotaged my biology notes in med school?"

Amory frowns but she doesn't know what to say to Blake. She can't disagree with her, because she's right, but she doesn't want to agree with her either.

"Whatever," Amory says, turning over on her pillow, but she stops tossing around as much and Blake is able to relax some.

It takes Blake a while, however, after what she said. She wonders if her words got to Amory or if the other woman is just content to hate her for the rest of her life. If so, this is going to be the longest and most painful trip ever.

And why can't I stop wondering what she looks like naked?