Chapter 36
Cha pter 36
Maverick
I stare down at the petite healer but don't say anything. It's not going to come out right when I tell her the reason I do that is because I've always been envious of those shifters—the ones who've found their mates—because I knew I'd never be able to have what they did, even though she stands in front of me. But I'm not going to do anything about it. I can't. That's probably why I'm a jerk to the males who've found their female. My eyes seek out the female in front of me. She has no idea what it did to me to hear her stand up for me in front of my old pack. I've never had anyone stand up for me before, except for maybe Cade and Amber. She has no idea what that did to me. And now...now I don't want to deal with the fallout of that. "All right. Well, I better get back to help Cade."
She blinks, like she's coming out of a daze. "Oh, right. Sorry."
Guilt hits me, but I keep it off my face. I shouldn't be kicking her out like this, but the longer she stays in my room, the less control I'm going to have. I tighten my fists. Control. Who am I kidding? I haven't had an ounce of control since this healer waltzed into my life and started wreaking havoc. I steel myself against those large doe eyes as they connect with mine. It's a punch to my gut, as it always is.
"All right. I'll just head to my room." She walks to the door and stops. "Are you going to be okay?" she asks in concern when she turns back. Then her face turns pink, like she's embarrassed. "Who am I kidding? You're Maverick. Of course you're going to be fine." She laughs lightly and turns back to the door. "All right. Bye." She darts out the door, leaving me in silence.
"I need a run," I mutter and reach back and pull my shirt off. My wolf is in agreement. We need to get rid of this aggression somehow. And since the little healer cut off my fighting, running in my wolf's skin it is, just as soon as I'm done helping Cade with my old pack. The door to my room opens suddenly, and Rose darts in, closing it quickly behind her. She stands right at the door with her ear against it. "What are you doing?"
She jumps and spins around. "Maverick," she says putting her hand over her heart.
"Did you forget I was in here, in my room?" I ask dryly.
She frowns. "You already took your shirt off? That was fast."
I lift an eyebrow and cross my arms over my chest. "Is there a reason you're back?"
"Oh yeah. I'm hiding."
When she doesn't elaborate, I prompt, "From who?"
"Oh, nobody, just...somebody."
I stare at her. "Well that was clear as mud," I mumble as I stalk over to the door. Her eyes widen when I get close, and I don't miss the way her eyes drop to my chest for a moment. I can practically feel my wolf howling at the fact our mate is looking at us. I scowl and push him down. I yank open the door and walk past the wide-eyed healer and step out into the hall. I take a deep breath before turning back to her. My eyes narrow as I step back inside. "It smells like Jacob and Daniel out here." I watch her carefully. "Have they been bothering you?"
She fidgets, a sure sign. "No, not at all."
I stare down at her. "You just happened to hide in my room when they were walking past, even though your room is right next door."
"No, well, yeah. I mean..."
I lose my patience. "Healer, you're pushing me." Those eyes snap to mine. Every. Single. Time. I fight my reaction to her.
"It's fine. I'll just go back to my room."
I reach out and catch her arm before she leaves, dropping it almost immediately when I feel her soft skin. "Are they bothering you?" My voice comes out much gruffer than I intended.
She sighs. "No, not really."
"Healer," I ground out.
"I think Cade maybe put them up to it, or maybe somebody else. They just always seem to be...around, especially Jacob. But it's really not that big a deal."
My muscles tighten with each word she says. "I'll deal with it. He won't bother you again." I take a step towards the door, intent on dealing with Jacob tonight. He won't be able to walk for a few days when I'm done with him. She steps in front of me.
"What are you doing?" Her eyes are wide.
"I'm going to deal with him."
"How?"
I stare down at her in confusion. "How what?"
"How are you going to deal with him? Because I don't want you to hurt him."
I growl low in my chest. Wrong thing to say, Healer. I step closer, searching her face. "Do you care for him?"
"What?"
I growl again. "Do you care for him?" I can't bring myself to say the idiot's name.
Her eyes widen to near epic proportions. "Jacob?" His name on her lips makes me all the more furious, and I fight to keep my wolf from making a sudden appearance. "No, of course not. That's why I came in here. I was trying to avoid him."
"Has he done anything to you?" I manage to get out.
"No! He's never done anything inappropriate. He's just always around. Wherever I am, he's always there in my space. He always gets close to me, closer than I want him to be, and he's always touching me. He—" She stops abruptly. I stalk past her. I'm going to find him and end him. "Wait," she steps in front of me. Again.
"Move," I growl.
"What are you going to do?"
"Kill him." My wolf gives his agreement.
"Mav, no!"
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I am aware of the fact that she's talking. But I can't focus on it. I need to find and destroy Jacob. He's trying to take what is mine. He touched what is mine. He won't stay away from mine.
"Maverick, uh, your wolf..." I growl low. At this point I'm not really sure if it's me or my wolf. "Please don't, Mav."
I can't see anything through the haze. First my old pack disrespects our mate, now my packmate does. And then, my mind goes blank. It takes a moment for me to pull out of my anger-induced haze and recognize what's happening. When it does, my body is sent into shock. The healer is kissing me! The moment is over way too fast. I blink and stare down at her.
Her eyes are wide, her pupils huge. "I'm sorry." She says each word slowly. "I didn't know what else to do. You were starting to wolf out, and I-I didn't know what else to do." She takes another step backwards and runs into the door. "You look like you're calm now. Okay, um, bye." The door closes, and she's gone.
I stare at the closed door as my brain fires and misfires repeatedly. I take several shaky steps over to my bed and sit, dropping my face into my hands. Her kiss replays through my mind on repeat. Of all the things I thought would hit me if I ever kissed her, it was not this. Regret . It was over so fast, I barely had a chance to feel it. And the look on her face afterward. Nausea churns in my gut. She looked embarrassed. That's not the look I want my mate to wear after she kisses me. I curse at the slip-up. Healer, I mentally correct myself; but I think it might be too late.
I look around my empty room and curse again. I can't stay here; my room smells like her. I shake my head and stand. That healer has no idea what she's doing to me. "I'm going for that run now," I say to the empty room. I'll let Cade deal with my old pack for now. My wolf agrees with me, and I slip out into the hall and out the back door. Within seconds, I surrender the lead to my wolf and let him run, after making sure he doesn't go after Jacob to kill him. My thoughts take a backseat as his baser instincts take over, and I'm grateful for the reprieve for a little while. I let him run for over an hour before I force him to return to the packhouse. He goes back willingly, reminding me once again how much the healer has changed things. I used to have to force my wolf to head back to the lodge after a run. Now, he gladly heads back that way, knowing our mate is somewhere inside.
When we get back, I quickly take a shower and head next door to the healer's room before I have a chance to think about what a bad idea this is. I knock on the door and breathe a sigh of relief when she opens the door. "Maverick." There's surprise in her voice and something else that looks a lot like shame or embarrassment, and I hate it.
"Want to eat dinner with me and maybe watch a movie?" I ask quickly.
She blinks. "I-uh..." Then a beautiful smile comes over her face, and my heart stutters in my chest. "I would love to."
A feeling comes over me that I don't know what to do with; it happens whenever she smiles. It's like she's the sun, and she just makes everybody in her orbit warm. "I'll grab the food. You can head into my room and pick out something for us to watch."
She bites her lip in hesitation, and I force my hands to stay at my sides. "Okay," she says softly.
"I'll be back in a few. It's unlocked." I don't wait for her to say anything else. I don't want her to talk herself out of it, and I don't want my common sense to kick in and remind me what a bad idea this is. I've kept my distance from the healer for a reason. But my wolf is still on edge with my old pack being here and what she said about Jacob. Speaking of... he'd really better hope I don't run into him tonight . When I get to the dining hall, I see my old pack; and I'm suddenly really glad that neither the healer nor myself will be eating in the dining hall tonight. I slip into the kitchen quietly.
Pamella calls out with a big smile. "Where've you been? It's been too long since you've been in my kitchen hassling me."
I smile at the gray-haired woman. "Been busy," I say with a shrug.
She puts her hands on her hips and frowns. "Avoiding your mate? Yes, I've heard all about it." She shakes her spatula at me. "That girl is an angel. If you don't scoop her up, somebody else will." I growl as her words bring the exact image to mind I'm trying to avoid. "See? I can't even talk about your mate without you growling." She eyes me in concern. "Why don't you just pursue her, Mav? Let yourself have this."
I turn away from the soft look in her eyes. Pamella's known me for years, ever since I used to sneak in here to steal food when I first came to this pack at fifteen. Back then, I was a scrawny kid that was growing like a weed and starving all the time. She took me under her wing, always making sure I had more than enough food. "I'm here to get food for the healer and myself for dinner." I say that to get her off my back; it works like a charm.
Her entire face lights up. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes!"