Chapter 11

ELEVEN

Silas

"You've been awfully quiet today." Dad says as he stands with his foot on the bottom row of the fence, watching me spread feed for the animals.

"We're all allowed to have an off day, aren't we?" I don't look at him, he's always been able to read me like a book, and right now I don't want the pep talk he'll be itching to give.

"We are." He nods, letting his forearms drop over the top row. "But I've never known you to have so much as a blip on your days. No matter what, you've always faced them head on. What's going on with you?"

He won't stop until I tell him. He'll just keep needling and then I'll get pissed, say something I don't mean, and I'll have to apologize. It's a vicious cycle and instead of giving in to it, I walk slowly over to where he stands, and mirror the way he's leaning. "You know that woman I had out here the other day?"

"Yup." He bites the tooth pick that's ever-present in his mouth and waits for me to continue.

"She and I have been seeing each other, but it's gotten complicated."

His eyes glow in the setting of the sun, a smile deepens the creases on his face. "When is love not complicated, Silas? We've always gotta work for what we want."

Leaning back, I take my hat off and brush the sweat from my hairline before setting it atop my head. "Don't you think I know that? I've worked for what I want my whole life. I wouldn't have made it through medical school if I weren't a hard worker." It pisses me off he would try to talk to me about expectations of relationships in the guise of work. "Britt though, she's been disappointed by the one person she should've been able to trust. Her husband really threw her and her daughter for a loop. She doesn't trust easily."

He pulls the toothpick out. "Shit, Silas, when you become a parent and you've got someone else to think of besides yourself, that's a given. You've got to weigh options, make choices, lose sleep, and somehow not let your goddamn self-identity go. That's with two parents. I can't imagine how that lady feels if her ex-husband keeps disappointing her daughter."

Sighing heavily, I shake my head. "Right, so what do you suppose I should do about it? Give me some fatherly advice, because I'm at a loss."

He's quiet for a minute, putting the toothpick back in his mouth. He rolls it around like a wad of chew (which he quit, and is why he has this habit with a toothpick), before he speaks. "You've got to be there, Silas. Just be there. Don't make promises you can't keep, don't say a bunch of pretty words that aren't gonna mean shit. Mean what ya say and say what ya mean. Simple as that."

Somehow, I don't think this is going to be as simple as that , but I'm willing to try anything at this point. Britt's been ignoring my texts for days. "I'll see what I can do." I give him a grin. "Thanks."

"I have been married to your mother for over thirty years. I know a thing or two."

I laugh, thinking about how hard it can be to please my mom. "You've done a great job, Dad."

"I like to hope so. We raised a family, had a home, and mostly never went to bed angry at one another. Love is as hard as life, Silas. You've got to work at it. Your lady friend is doing the best she can with what she has, and you've got to respect that. However, it doesn't mean you can't call her and leave a voice message." He shakes his head. "Instead of texting like everyone does now. She'd probably enjoy hearing your damn voice."

"Okay, okay, I got it. Thanks, old man."

He reaches over and gives me a reassuring squeeze on the forearm. "What's mean to be will work out, Silas. Have faith."

I'm tired. I've not been sleeping well because I'm worried about Britt. Scared she won't give me a chance to prove to her I'm not Dakota. I've texted her a handful of times, and she hasn't answered, so I'm going to take dad's advice.

I'm not surprised when the phone call I'm making goes straight to voicemail, but I don't let it discourage me.

"Hey, Britt, I know you're dealing with a lot right now. You've got responsibilities I can't even think about, and you've been disappointed by Dakota at every turn. He doesn't deserve you or Karli." I sigh heavily. "I don't expect you to blindly trust me, but I ask that you give me the chance to prove I won't let you down. I miss you, and I'd love to see you soon if that's okay. Bye."

When I hang up, I can't help but feel like how she responds to this will set the tone for whatever our relationship will end up being.