17. Revnan

The room I'm in is small, crowded with old school furniture, and my current bed is no more than a pallet covered by a few old curtains. It's not comfortable by any means, though it's better than the desks, which were too small to sleep on without crashing to the floor. In any other circumstances, I would be itching to get out of here.

I know Wilkes is right. I know I should listen to his guidance. But to do so would be to walk away from my fated mate – and I know now for certain she is that. At first, I thought it was a delusion from blood loss, but now I"m certain of it.

I stretch. The pain in my side is but a memory now. Whoever she is, she's a good medic.

I know I would have healed faster and better in a regeneration unit, but I would not have missed this time with Maya for anything. I just wish I knew what to do next. "I can't exactly take her back to the squad with me, and I can"t stay here forever," I ponder aloud. "But I can't give up my fated mate."

Her twinkling blue eyes remind me of someone who visits my dreams so often. I knew the stories of finding your destined other half, but never had I heard about the strange sense of familiarity Maya brings. Unless, perhaps, that"s all in my head.

Ataxia knows the ravages of war had been getting to me. The atrocities are always there, hiding behind my eyes. All I need to do is close them and I see body parts, torn and scattered in all directions. And no matter how much I wash, the stench of death still clings to my fur.

"Hey," says Maya, startling me as she slips through the door. "I bought you some food," she adds, holding out the box in her hands.

"That's amazing," I tell her. "Was it hard to come by?" I hadn't realized how difficult procuring even the basic necessities had become for the civilian humans here on Armstrong. The fact that Maya is managing to feed me speaks volumes for her generosity and dedication.

Maybe for that reason alone I should leave. I hate thinking that I am a burden to my fated mate. I haven"t told her yet about our link. Would she be better off without me?

"No," she says, but the pinch in the corners of her eyes tells me she's lying. "The food supplies seem to be coming through a little better now."

I look in the box. It's the strange human food called bread again, and I can smell some kind of roasted meat.

"Thank you," I say.

"I can't stay," she says, looking away.

"I appreciate everything you've done for me," I tell her.

"It's the least I could do," she replies. "If I could find more food, I would feed you more." There is a fleeting smile, and she nervously tucks her hair behind her ear.

"This is perfect," I say, even though I could devour three times what she leaves for me.

"I have to go and see my mom, but I'll try and get back later if that's okay?"

"Of course," I reply. I want to say more. But I'm still unsure if it's wise.

I lay back on the bed, breathing in the scent she'd left behind in the room. I can't quite place where I've smelled it before. It is like everything about her, so tantalizingly familiar.

When I was growing up, there was a couple who lived next door to me. They were said to be fated mates. To me, watching them as a child, they seemed to dance through life. They would sometimes throw parties, and I was fascinated by the way they moved around one another and finished one another"s sentences.

As blessed as I know I should feel to have found her, it"s hard to imagine I can truly experience that same joy they shared with Maya here on the wartorn planet of Armstrong

I sit on the bed and slowly eat the bread and meat she has left. The first time I tried bread, I thought it was horribly bland, but the more I eat, the more it grows on me. It is the perfect accompaniment to the meat, which is covered in a spicy sauce. As usual, once I'm done, I'm still hungry.

I notice at the bottom of the box is a small delicate purple flower. I pick it up and sit it in the palm of my hand. It's a small thing, a simple gesture. But it fills my heart with joy.

I have a small effigy of the Goddess Ataxia nestled in my pocket. My Mother gave it to me to keep me safe when I signed up. I didn't understand her tears then. I do now.

I pull it out and lay it in front of me next to the flower. Embedded in each palm of the tiny statue is a jewel. A white one in her left representing the soul, and a red in her right representing the heart.

It is some Ataxians belief that we reincarnate. I"m not sure most really believe it, deep down, but I know I"ve heard it mentioned. I don't think I've ever quite believed it before, myself. But when I look into Maya's eyes, I find it easy to think we have a bond that transcends this lifetime.

I decide I need answers. Folding my legs under me, I take the flower in one hand and the small statue in the other. Taking a deep breath, I slip into a meditative state.

"Great Ataxia, hear my prayer," I whisper quietly. "I come to you seeking guidance. What do I do, to take care of my fated mate? I feel torn between her and my duties as a soldier. And sometimes I feel destiny is leading me, but I can't tell what it is trying to say."

I allow the blue haze to envelope me as I have been taught since I was a child. I've always felt a great sense of peace when I meditate on Ataxia. It's a practice that I have let slip recently. I hope Ataxia hasn't forgotten me.

As I go deeper and deeper within myself, I begin to feel a presence. The presence wraps itself around my body until it coils inside me. I have never felt the Goddess this clearly within me.

"Beware, Revnan," she whispers. "Great forces work against your pairing. Sometimes the best thing to do is let go. A union with a fated mate is a powerful thing, and it can attract the attention of some dangerous entities."

The words that echo in my head cause my stomach to contract in fear. "What?" I demand. "What do you mean?"

But my fear has pulled me back into the room in a cold sweat. The Goddess is gone, if it ever was her, leaving me with a pounding heart and shaking hands.

Just at that moment, the door clicks open and Maya walks in. She looks at me and frowns. "Are you okay?" she asks. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

I swallow. I could not even begin to explain right now. I look at my hand. The flower is crumpled in my big blue fist.

Maya follows my gaze. "Oh," she says, a little hurt in her voice.

"I was trying to meditate," I explain. "I guess it didn't work."

"I was wondering if you feel up to going out for a while?" Maya asks. "I was going to take you to where those flowers bloom." She looks pointedly at the crumpled thing in my hand. "But maybe you're not keen on flowers?"

"I'd love to see the flowers," I tell her. "It was a genuine accident that this one got damaged. I guess my hands are just too big for such a delicate thing."

She laughs, and it soothes my troubled soul. As do the array of flowers in the nearby field. It is the first time that I have left the schoolhouse since she dragged my broken body there several weeks ago.

The day is clear and bright, and we manage to sneak past a line of trees without anyone noticing us. After that, hidden from sight, the rest of the trip is peaceful. As we walk, I feel the troubles lifting from my shoulders. Just being with Maya has a calming, soothing effect, as if she washes my spirit clean and leaves me renewed.

By the time we head home, I've almost forgotten Ataxia's warning. Maybe it was just my imagination, anyway. A fabrication of my troubled mind.

I sit on a bench in the front room of the school, and she sits next to me. A little too close. Every fiber of my being wants her. I'm surprised the energy we are giving off isn't causing sparks to erupt around us.

She turns and looks up at me, her smiling lips begging to be kissed. Her breath whispers over my lips. And then our worlds explode as our lips touch.

There is no more doubt, not that I really needed any more convincing. This is the most perfect moment of my life. I feel the connection running between us and culminating in this one fateful moment. She is mine, I am hers. We are twin souls entwined.

As we pull apart, I can tell by the look in her eyes that she feels it, too. There is a magic in the air that transcends the normal world.

"What was that?" she says in awe.

"We are fated mates," I tell her. "Twin souls who have found one another. Who were made for each other."

She smiles in reply. "I knew you were special from the moment I met you," she says, touching my cheek and running her hands through my fur.

"I've dreamed about you for as long as I can remember," I tell her. "It's like I knew who I was destined for all this time. Before I ever even met you."

"I feel the same about you," she replies, tears glittering in her eyes. "I feel like I've always known you. That I've been searching for you my entire life."

"And now you've found me," I reply, my heart full to bursting.