12. Besties

TWELVE

Besties

ETAIN

I t’s not until later in the afternoon that Hawk comes back, and with him are a whole slew of Redemption Riders that I’ve never met before. I can’t keep them all straight. It’s good that their road names are stitched into their leather vests and jackets. I’ve seen the tattoos they all have on them. They are literally covered with tattoos, but they all have one in common. A dagger, dripping with blood, with Redemption scrolled around it.

I’ve now met Raven and Motown. They seem like good guys. Racer arrived a little later, but after Hawk introduced me, they all huddled together while Hawk took me back to the office. I’ve seen him happy, but this is a different kind of happy. He’s beaming, and it’s a good look on him.

“You’re happy.” I put my hands on his shoulders, come up on my tiptoes, and press my lips to his. Suddenly, his arms band around me, and I’m being pressed tight to his body. One of his hands roams down to my ass, giving it a squeeze, while his lips plunder mine in a devastating kiss that has me wishing there was a bed in this room. At the very least, I wish we could shove the papers off the desk and he could take me right here and now.

When he tears his mouth from mine, I whimper at the loss. “Ginger, I’m holding on by a thread here. The first time I fuck you isn’t going to be in an office with a bunch of my brothers just outside the door. It isn’t going to go fast. I’m going to savor every fucking second and watch your face as you come undone in my arms,” he murmurs.

That sounds all kinds of sweet and sexy, but it doesn’t do anything to assuage my need. Still, I get his point. I lean forward and touch my forehead to his. “Okay.” I lick my lips, close my eyes, and take a deep breath.

“Why don’t you knock off for the day? Me and my brothers have a lot to talk about, and it’ll give you time with Sasha,” he suggests.

I turn my head to look at the pile of papers on my desk. “There’s so much to do.”

“It’ll still be there in the morning, babe.”

“Is my car ready?” They were supposed to work on it today, but I haven’t seen it being brought into the bay yet.

“Not yet. I’ll have Declan and Lee drop you off. They’ll be hanging around outside your place to be on the safe side.”

“Why don’t they have road names?”

He shrugs. “They’re prospects. They want to be Redemption Riders, but they have to prove themselves and pay their dues.”

“Like a fraternity?”

He laughs so loud, I’m sure everyone in the shop can hear him. It takes him a minute to settle, then he tells me, “Hell no! Redemption Riders are serious people. We believe in loyalty to each other and the club for the rest of our lives. We’re not frat boys out to get drunk and laid. We can do that anytime. It’s a process, and because I fucked up once in taking in a guy who wasn’t serious, the club paid a hefty price for it. Now, it takes at least two years before you can become a full member, and you’re tested along the way. Every member gets to decide whether the prospect lives up to the crest we wear. No shortcuts, no excuses. If you want it, show me that you belong.”

“Sounds intense, honey,” I murmur.

“It is, and if it isn’t for them, well then, so be it. But if a guy makes the commitment, then he has brothers for life. There’s nothing we won’t do for him.”

I see how serious he is and sense the amount of responsibility that comes with his title. Being elected as the president, the leader of them all, has to be the greatest honor a man can receive from his brothers. “They love you,” I say.

“I fucking hope so, ’cause I love them. We came together because each of us has fought a battle. Each man’s story is his to tell when he’s ready. But until he gives it to me, I won’t move anyone along to be a full member. It’s got nothing to do with knowing their business, because we all have screwed-up pasts. It’s about trust. You either trust your brothers or you don’t,” he says, slowly letting me go.

“What if it’s so bad, they don’t want to relive the past?”

“Can’t move forward without facing the past, Ginger. It’ll always stay with you until you let it go. You gotta learn from the past and still move ahead. Easier said than done, I know,” he says. Wise words. Words I need to think about regarding my own choices and my past.

I used to think that I fell into situations, good or bad, and had to make the most of it. Then, my thoughts became about the decisions that mold the shape of my future. Somewhere along the line, I lost sight of my choices. It doesn’t have to be just this or that. Why can’t I have it all? Sure, not all at one time, but that doesn’t mean I can’t work, go for my certification, and eventually start my own accounting firm. I want to get married, have babies, and have the love of family, just like my parents gave me and Kiera. I need to let go of the what-ifs.

“I want kids one day,” I blurt.

His face freezes for a moment, then a smile breaks out. “How many?”

“Three.”

“That’s specific.”

“A boy, a girl, then it wouldn’t matter.”

“Why not just a boy and a girl, then?”

“Because a girl could use a sister.”

“No guarantees you’d have two girls. And you just said it didn’t matter.”

“Another girl would be good, but with two brothers, no one will ever pick on her. They’d be her protectors.”

“Won’t matter. Their daddy will protect all three of them and teach them how to take care of themselves,” he finishes. My insides go soft and squishy. I picture Hawk with a baby on his chest, his hand cupping their little baby booty. A baby with cobalt-blue eyes, just like his daddy.

He reaches out to take my hand. “Taking you home now, baby.” I let him lead me out the door, where he calls over to Declan and Lee. They drop what they’re doing at the sound of Hawk’s voice and come running. “Take Ginger home for me. It’s your job to keep her safe until I get there. Eyes wide open, you hear?”

Declan and Lee look at one another, both stating an unequivocal “Yes, sir.” Their faces go from serious to super serious. I say my goodbyes to the guys, then I climb into the car, and we set off down the road. Declan is driving, but Lee scans the streets for potential dangers. I feel like a rock star in the back of a limo with bodyguards. I would almost laugh, but I don’t think Declan or Lee would think it’s as hilarious as I do.

We pull into my driveway, but as I move to open my door, Lee says, “Please don’t. If you don’t mind giving me your keys, I want to go in and check it out.” He extends a hand for my keys.

I reach into my purse, but feel compelled to speak. “I don’t think that’s necessary. I’m sure we locked up before we left.”

“Please, Etain,” Declan says. “This is big for us, and we don’t want to take any chances.”

I give a shrug and drop the keys into Lee’s hand. “If it makes you feel better, go right ahead.” I think it’s sweet that these guys are taking precautions. Declan waits outside with me while Lee goes in. We seem to have caught Sasha’s attention, as she waves from her garden. “Do you have time to come over and hang out for a while?” I ask her.

“Isn’t Hawk coming by?”

“Not till much later. I could use the company. I was thinking of making a homemade pizza. Care to join?”

Sasha smiles at me and replies, “Love to, but only if I can contribute to our dinner.”

“Bring whatever you like. By the way, your muffins were a hit. I had to pry them out of Shooter’s hand for him to share with the others.”

Declan jumps in. “You made them? Hell, they were awesome. I was only able to get one away from the rest of the men, though,” he says with sad puppy-dog eyes.

I see her beaming with pride. “I’m glad they went over well.” She brushes her hands over her well-worn, faded, blue jeans. “I’m going to clean up, and I’ll be by in about a half hour.”

I give her two thumbs-up and watch her go inside as Lee comes back out. “All clear,” he says. Declan accompanies me inside, and I drop my purse on the counter.

“I’m going to get changed. Be right back. Help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen,” I say, then go into the bedroom to find a comfortable pair of dark leggings and an oversized white Metallica T-shirt. I pull my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head.

When I come back into the living room, Declan is looking out the front window, at what, I have no clue, and Lee is standing near the back door. These guys are taking this to the extreme.

“Aren’t you guys taking this a little too far?” I ask.

“Hawk tells us to look after his woman, we do it, and we do it right,” Lee answers.

“Okay, but this is silly. You can sit in this chair”—I pat the armchair—“and still see the door.” Then I look at Declan. “And from here, you can see the entire expanse of the front yard and down the street.” I indicate the other chair. “You can even move them around if you want. It’s going to be a long night with you two pacing around.”

Declan and Lee exchange looks before deciding to arrange the chairs the way they like them and taking a seat.

“Is that better?” I giggle. They both crack a smile, barely, but I’ll take it. I go to the kitchen, take out a couple of pops, and hand each of them one. “I would give you beer, but I have a feeling you won’t drink it.”

“Thanks,” Declan says as I hand him his.

“We’ll take one to go once Hawk takes over,” Lee adds, this time with a grin.

It takes a while for the guys to warm up to me, but eventually, they begin to share about how they met Hawk. In Declan’s case, it was Hawk who approached him outside town, hitchhiking. He didn’t say any more, but I know there’s a story there that’ll be interesting to hear. Lee came into the fold through Flex. He and Flex were in the army together.

“I was in a bad way. I couldn’t relate to anyone. I’m used to getting up when I’m told, eating when I’m told, then I come home, and I’m completely lost,” Lee says, shaking his head. “When you’re in the army, all you can think about is going home and getting back to normal, but no one tells you that normal doesn’t exist anymore.”

“How are you doing now?” I ask with genuine concern. I’ve read about veterans returning to their families and not being able to assimilate into civilian life.

“I’m with brothers who understand what I’ve experienced. I can talk about it and not feel guilty for sharing my trauma. My parents are great, but I couldn’t put this on them. They weren’t too happy with me when I told them I needed my space, but they see now that this was the best thing for me. They’ve met Hawk and Flex and know I have good people to lean on,” Lee shares.

I get what he’s saying, although not to the extreme he’s experiencing it. They say you can’t go home, and I know that when I visit my parents, it’s homey and warm, but not my home anymore. “I don’t dare compare my woes to what you’ve seen, but I see what you mean. My mom would hover over me until I suffocated, and my dad would agonize over every little thing. Both my sister and I had to spread our wings. Going to visit is great, but we’re making homes where Kiera and I choose to land.”

The doorknob jiggles, and then we hear Sasha’s voice. “Hey, what’s with the locked door?”

“Coming,” I reply, but before I get to the door, Declan is up and opening it. He escorts Sasha in, then locks it once more. Sasha sees this and gives me a look that screams, What the heck is going on?

Ignoring her expression, I hustle her into my tiny kitchen, and we get started making pizzas. Sasha dices and slices, while I do the rest. When she sees that the guys are engaged in their own conversation, she raises a brow and asks, “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

I grab a couple of wineglasses and pour us each a glass. “Hawk is being careful. We went to Jake’s for lunch and met another club. Their leader, Gunner, had someone watching my place, and Hawk isn’t too happy.”

Sasha’s eyes bug out. “Oh my God. That’s horrible! No wonder you have personal bodyguards.”

“Personally, I think he’s making much more of it than he should, but he insists, and since he has so much on his mind, I don’t want to add to it.” Sasha tenses, biting her lower lip. “I know you like the quiet life, Sasha. If you want me to find another place?—”

“Don’t you even finish that sentence. This is your home. We’ve just met, but I really like you. I consider you a friend.”

“Let me tell you a secret,” I whisper. “I haven’t had many friends in the last few years and the ones I had disappeared over the years. I could use a best friend.”

Sasha’s smile lights up, and she hugs me tight, nearly causing both of us to spill our wine. “Me too,” she murmurs in my ear. “I’ve always wanted a bestie.”

My giggle turns into a laugh, and Sasha joins in. I pull back, stretch out my hand, and hold out my pinky finger. Sasha hooks her pinky with mine. “Pinky swear: besties for life.” Tears well up in her eyes, and she sniffles.

Lee’s voice pulls us apart. “Women. I’ll never understand them.”

Declan lets out a roar of laughter. “And you never will, man. They are the world’s greatest joy and the greatest mystery at the same time.”