35

“Knock knock”

Olivia looked over her shoulder and gestured for Riley to come in. She’d left the door to the pool house open while she grabbed her phone and bookbag, so her half-sister stepped right in. “What’s up?” she asked after closing her bag. She left it on her bed and turned to face Riley.

The lavender-haired woman twisted her hands together. “Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

Olivia lifted her shoulder in a shrug. They’d had breakfast with their mom and Olivia’s dad, but Riley hadn’t said much while they’d eaten. She’d probably been preparing another apology in her mind instead of listening to their mom ask Olivia a million questions about how she was feeling and if she was ready for the day ahead.

“Sure,” Olivia said. “Ella won’t be here for another few minutes.”

It was her first day back at Georgetown after the dean’s office had reached out to her and revoked her expulsion, luckily before late registration had closed. It was also the first time she’d be seeing Ella since the exorcism a week and a half earlier, and Olivia wasn’t sure if this would be the last time Ella gave her a lift to campus. Forgiveness wasn’t exactly Olivia’s strong suit.

Riley nodded and closed the door, blocking the cold January air from further infiltrating the bedroom. “I wanted to apologize again for not telling you everything sooner.”

Olivia wet her lips and sighed. “I assumed as much.” She lifted her fingers to the cross hanging from her necklace and rubbed her thumb over the smooth metal. “I actually remembered something to do with that,” she admitted.

Riley’s eyebrows lifted. “What about it?”

“You came to visit me in the hospital a few days after the accident,” Olivia said, her gaze shifting to the floor. “And you told me you had something you needed to tell me.”

“I was going to tell you the truth then,” Riley said gently. “I’m surprised you remember that.”

Olivia swallowed and lifted her gaze, her eyes meeting Riley’s soft hazel stare.“I got so mad at you because I thought you were making it all about you.”

Riley smiled sadly. “It was a pretty awful time to try and bring it up,” she admitted. “But Mom and I just thought in light of the accident—” She grimaced. “And Drew being dead, I had no more excuses not to tell you.”

Olivia nodded. “I called you a bitch and told you to get out,” she said hoarsely, her grip on the cross at her neck tightening. “And I’m pretty sure I remember saying something about not wanting my freak of a half-sister around.”

Riley swallowed. “Yeah, that sounds familiar,” she said, her voice strained. She stepped to the side and leaned back against the desk before grabbing the end of her braid. “Do you remember when I first got here, and you called me a freak?”

Olivia winced, ashamed at the words she’d once said. “Yes.”

Riley nodded. “Well, that was far from the first time I’d been called that,” she admitted with a sigh. “Everyone at my school thought I was a weirdo who talked to herself, and that label stuck with me until I graduated.”

“Kids can be such assholes,” Olivia muttered and then rolled her eyes self-deprecatingly. “I’m one to talk.”

Riley smiled at that. “It wasn’t just them, though,” she continued, her smile dimming. “I didn’t know it at the time, but the reason Mom left New York was because my dad told her about the ability he gave to me. He waited until after I was born, and she didn’t take it that well.”

Olivia frowned. “What do you mean?”

“She was already going through post-partum depression, and she got really freaked out by it,” Riley explained, her expression tight. “She started to get scared when I was staring into space because she wondered if I was looking at a ghost she couldn’t see.”

“Oh,” Olivia said.

Riley nodded. “Yeah. She was worried about how seeing dead people would affect me, and she hated that I was stuck with an ability like that. It was just a lot, and it got to a point where she couldn’t handle it anymore.” She shrugged, but she looked anything but blasé. “So, she left.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Olivia didn’t mean to sound unsympathetic, but she wasn’t sure what any of it had to do with her.

Riley heaved a sigh. “Because I was called a freak for years by my classmates, and my own mother couldn’t handle knowing about my ability,” she explained. “And you already hated me so much when I got here...”

Olivia wished she could deny it, but it was true. She’d resented how much attention their mom had always placed on Riley. Even though it wasn’t Riley’s fault, she’d taken it out on her half-sister. It had been easy to hate her, especially since the other woman hadn’t tried to reach out to her over the years.

Riley shook her head, her lips turned down. “At first, I agreed with Mom that maybe we needed to wait until you were a bit older to tell you, but once that point came, I got so scared that you’d be freaked out by what I could do and that you’d really think I was a freak.”

Olivia nodded in understanding.

“I hated the idea of you being scared of me because, for a long time, almost everyone in my life, Mom included, was.”

“But you told Chris and Ella,” Olivia pointed out, still feeling a sting at that detail.

“I didn’t care as much about what they thought,” Riley replied quietly. “I still worried they’d call me crazy, but I barely knew them then.”

“You barely knew me either,” Olivia replied quietly.

“But you were still my sister,” she argued gently. “And I don’t think I could have handled you hating me any more than you already did.”

Olivia let out a sigh. She’d told herself she wouldn’t let herself forgive Riley for excluding her, but after hearing her reasons, she’d be a hypocrite if she held onto her anger.

“As much as I want to stay mad at you, I get it.”

“You do?” Riley asked, her eyes widening with hope.

Olivia bit the inside of her cheek and nodded. “I kept secrets from Chris for the same reason.” She looked down at her hands. “I was so scared he’d go back to hating me, and I couldn’t stand the thought of that.”

Riley stepped forward and took one of Olivia’s hands in hers. “I hope you know now that he wouldn’t have blamed you.” She squeezed gently. “None of us would have.”

Olivia blinked back the sting in her eyes and nodded. “I know.” Her jaw tightened. “Now that Drew isn’t in my head, I can see it all a lot more clearly.”

She hated that he’d been manipulating her even after his death, his grip on her mind stronger than it had been even when he was alive.

“I’ll never forgive myself for not telling you sooner,” Riley said. “It’s my fault he was able to do what he did.”

“I hate that you didn’t tell me,” Olivia said. She shook her head. “But Drew is the only one I blame for everything he did. He’s the only one responsible for what happened.”

It had taken Olivia two weeks to come to that realization, but she was glad she had. She could spend her whole life blaming Riley and the others for Drew being able to stay so long with her after his death. She could spend the rest of her life being bitter at them, but the truth was that none of them could have possibly known what risk Drew’s ghost posed, and Drew never would have been able to push Olivia into taking those pills if a part of Olivia hadn’t wanted to already.

True, she would have known that Drew wasn’t a hallucination a whole lot sooner if they’d been honest with her. But could Olivia really blame Riley for her reluctance to tell her when she’d been so awful to the woman? Olivia had had her reasons for lashing out at Riley, but that didn’t really matter. At the end of the day, they’d both made mistakes, and those mistakes had led them to make the choices they had, terrible as they may have been.

“Do you think we can start over?” Riley asked, her nerves evident in her voice.

Olivia studied her half-sister’s face, taking in the worried crease between her eyebrows and the glittering shine in her eyes. When Riley had cut their mom out of her life and Olivia along with her, Olivia had thought her sister was heartless, and when Riley had moved in, she’d come across as someone who didn’t care much. But Olivia could see now how wrong she’d been.

Riley cared. A lot. It was because she cared so much that their mom’s actions had hurt her so much, making Riley cut her out of her life. It was why she’d tried to befriend Olivia when she’d moved in, even after Olivia had been nothing but cruel to her.

“Yeah,” Olivia finally said. “I’d like that.”

Riley’s face broke into a grin, and she pulled Olivia into a tight hug. “Thank you,” she murmured.

Olivia couldn’t fight back her own smile. “Just don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t,” Riley promised before pulling back.

“Good, because I’m really not a fan of giving out second chances.”

Riley nodded, her smile turning sad. “I know.” She searched Olivia’s eyes. “Speaking of which, have you spoken to Chris?”

Olivia pressed her lips together into an unforgiving line and distracted herself by grabbing her jacket from the bed and shrugging it on. “Not since the exorcism,” she eventually replied.

“What actually happened between you two?” Riley asked, the question more curious than prying.

Olivia roughly pulled her hair from under the collar of her jacket. “We started seeing each other, we slept together, and then he saw the video,” she replied tightly.

Riley winced. “I’m assuming he didn’t take it well?”

Olivia scoffed. “I found him in the library with another woman,” she replied.

“And I’m guessing they weren’t just studying?”

A muscle in Olivia’s jaw feathered. “She was someone he used to sleep with, and she was on his lap.”

“God,” Riley muttered. “He really fucked this one up.”

Olivia shrugged, trying and failing to keep the hurt from her face.

“Please tell me he didn’t actually get back together with her?” Riley asked, looking sick at the thought.

“He says he didn’t,” Olivia replied. “But even if that’s true, he said some things that he can never take back.”

“Like what?”

Olivia swallowed painfully. “Like that he had a thing for you when you first got here,” she replied, and Riley’s eyes widened in shock. “And that he would have done something about it if Asher hadn’t made his move first.”

“Fuck,” Riley muttered. “You know he was probably just saying that to hurt you, right?”

Olivia shrugged. “He also implied that he’d only been with me because he wanted to get back at me for playing a part in his brother’s death,” she added, looking down to hide the moisture in her eyes.

“That’s definitely bullshit,” Riley said firmly.

Olivia looked up and found nothing but certainty in Riley’s expression.

“I saw the way he looked at you before the video came out,” she said. “He wasn’t with you because he was out for some twisted kind of revenge.”

Olivia bit her lip in an attempt to stem her tears and nodded. “I’m pretty sure he was lying about that part,” she agreed.

“But?” Riley pressed.

“But I refuse to be somebody’s second choice,” Olivia said, her chest pinching painfully. “Especially if their first choice was you.”

Riley let out a heavy breath. “For the record, I don’t think he was ever interested in me like that,” she told Olivia. “And even if he was, I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.”

“Like he hates me?” Olivia joked with a short, humorless laugh.

“No,” Riley said. “Like he loves you.”

Olivia pulled in a sharp breath but quickly shook her head. She so desperately wanted to believe her sister, but she couldn’t forget what Chris had said to her that day. She didn’t think anything could heal the wounds that his words had inflicted.

Luckily, her phone’s ringtone saved her from having to form a reply. “Ella’s probably here,” she said. “I better go.”

Riley nodded, looking sad. “Okay.”

Olivia placed her bag on her shoulder. “Is Asher still picking you up?”

“Yeah, he’s on his way.”

“I’ll see you later then.”

“Maybe we can meet up for lunch,” Riley suggested after they’d stepped outside and Olivia had locked the door.

“Yeah,” she replied, the weight pressing against her chest lightening. “I’d like that.”

“Great,” Riley said, a smile playing on her lips. “Oh, and there’s something else you should know,” she said as they walked around the covered pool.

“What’s that?”

“Mom, Hugh, and I had a huge fight about three months ago.”

Olivia’s brow furrowed. “Okay,” she said, drawing out the word into a question.

“Your parents were furious that I hadn’t told you yet,” Riley explained. “Your dad was especially mad, but they both made it clear that I wouldn’t be very welcome in their house until I told you everything.”

Olivia’s eyebrows flew up. That seemed a little harsh. “Are you trying to say I shouldn’t be mad at them?”

“I’m saying that if you were worried they were picking favorites by keeping my secret, they definitely weren’t. Mom and I decided not to tell you at first because we were worried you might not understand how serious it was and how important it was not to tell others, but after you turned eighteen, she knew you needed to be told.” She stopped walking and turned to face Olivia. “She knew we could trust you with it.”

“And my dad?” Olivia asked.

“Oh, he wanted to tell you from the beginning,” Riley replied. “He was just waiting for me to grow a pair.”

A laugh burst from Olivia’s mouth. “Please tell me he didn’t use those exact words.”

Riley grinned. “He didn’t.”

“Thanks for telling me,” Olivia said before pointing to the driveway. “I better get going.”

Riley nodded, and Olivia jogged to Ella’s car. She pulled open the passenger door and hopped in, but whatever lightness she’d felt after speaking to her sister disappeared once she was sitting next to Ella.

“Hey,” the other woman said, a nervous smile tipping up her lips.

“Hey,” Olivia replied, unable to smile back. “Thanks for picking me up.”

“Of course.”

Ella reversed out of the driveway, and the first five minutes of the drive were spent in silence. Olivia could have remained unspeaking the entire way to campus, but Ella made sure that didn’t happen.

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you,” she said after pulling to a stop at a red light.

“I know,” Olivia replied with a sigh.

“If we’d known about Drew…”

Olivia’s lips pinched together. “I know.” She waited for the familiar voice in her head to tell her they’d all probably laughed behind her back and had enjoyed keeping her in the dark. It never came. “I drove by your house one day and saw everyone arriving,” she said, remembering the feeling of her stomach dropping and her chest tightening like it was only a day earlier. “Chris lied and told me he was going to be busy with his family, and you never mentioned having plans with the others.”

“That must have been the day we did the exorcism for Brett,” Ella said after a beat of heavy silence.

Olivia shrugged. “I guess.” She swallowed past the painful lump in her throat before speaking again. “I knew then that you were all keeping secrets from me. I just didn’t realize how big they were.”

“We never wanted to hurt you.”

Olivia nodded. “You just didn’t trust me.”

“No,” Ella replied immediately, her voice losing its gentleness momentarily. “It wasn’t about trust. We just didn’t want to push Riley into telling you before she was ready.”

Olivia hated the jealousy that infected her thoughts. “So everyone agreed that she was more important?”

Ella shook her head and reached out to grab Olivia’s hand. “I promise it wasn’t like that.” She released her grip on Olivia’s fingers to turn the steering wheel. “I wanted to tell you about my abilities months ago, but I knew it would be hard to do that without giving Riley’s gifts away, too. It was an impossible decision to make, but Noah and I both decided that we’d give Riley the time she needed, even if we hated it.”

Olivia’s teeth ground together. “Did you even try to convince her to tell me the truth?”

“Almost every day,” Ella replied, surprising Olivia enough that her tight jaw muscles loosened. “Noah and I both encouraged her to tell you everything. She was just scared that you’d think she was a freak or something.”

“Yeah,” Olivia murmured. “She told me she was scared I’d react like our mom did.”

Ella nodded, her expression pained. “Between you and me, I don’t think Riley’s gotten over what happened between her and Edith.”

“They seem okay now,” Olivia argued, but the other woman shook her head.

“I know Riley’s trying to move past it, but she still hates talking about any of this stuff with your mom. I think Riley’s still dealing with all of it, and she was terrified you’d reject her like your mom did.”

Olivia winced. “I get why she was scared to tell me,” she admitted. “Our mom really did a number on her.”

Ella nodded. “Which is why Noah and I agreed not to tell you until Riley was ready. We encouraged her, but we didn’t feel like we could do more than that.”

Olivia sighed heavily and slumped back in her seat. “It’s hard to stay mad at all of you when you say shit like that.”

Ela let out a short laugh. “So, do you think we can still be friends?” she asked hopefully.

“I suppose,” Olivia replied. She sat up straight and narrowed her eyes at the side of Ella’s face. “But if you keep secrets like this from me again, there won’t be any more chances.”

“That’s fair,” Ella agreed with a sharp nod. “But I promise it won’t ever happen again. I’ll be the best friend a girl could ask for.”

“And the best carpool buddy,” Olivia added before wetting her lips. “At least for the next few months.”

“What do you mean?” Ella asked sharply.

Olivia shrugged. “I’m thinking of transferring.”

“What? To where?”

“Anywhere that isn’t Georgetown,” Olivia replied. “I haven’t decided yet.”

She’d looked at options that were close to home, but the only options that called to her were the ones that were at least a thousand miles away. Olivia had been seeing her therapist more regularly since she’d been released from the hospital, and the woman had told her she was trying to run from her problems.

Maybe she was, but Olivia didn’t care. She wanted to be as far from Georgetown and the memories of Drew as possible. And if it took her away from Chris and the line of women he was sure to sleep with and flirt with at the library table that used to be theirs, then that was just a bonus.