29

Olivia’s mom wiped more tears from her cheeks before blowing her nose, and Olivia felt nothing but shame. Her dad had left the hospital room minutes earlier, and she’d never seen him look so defeated. His eyes had been bloodshot, and his shoulders slumped as though the weight of the world hung on them.

“It’s not your fault, Mom,” Olivia said, her voice still croaky.

Edith grabbed Olivia’s hand again and squeezed so tightly that it was almost painful. “I should have been a better mother,” she said with a shake of her head.

Olivia sighed. “What I did had nothing to do with you.” She wasn’t lying. Her mom’s apparent preference for Riley hadn’t even been a factor in her decision.

Edith’s lips pressed together, but her bottom lip trembled anyway. “Maybe not, but I can imagine if I’d been as vocal about my support for you as I was for Riley, it wouldn’t have been as easy to get to this point.”

Olivia gulped. Her mom wasn’t entirely wrong. Maybe if Olivia had felt more loved growing up, she would have made different choices and they wouldn’t have ended up there. Olivia’s decision was the result of a chain of bad decisions that went further back than her mom could imagine, and she may not have made those same choices if she hadn’t felt like second-best.

But her mom had also made a much better effort in the last year to prove she didn’t have favorites, and there was no use looking at all the what-ifs.

“I did this because of the accident,” Olivia finally said, making sure her voice was firm. “That was the only reason I did it.”

More tears spilled down Edith’s face, but she nodded. “I hate that you have to go through this.”

Olivia averted her gaze. She couldn’t remember much about what had happened after she’d swallowed all those pills and gotten in the bathtub, but she remembered waking up and half-coughing and half-vomiting up water. She remembered being both relieved and disappointed.

Now, she was mostly just embarrassed. She still felt disconsolate, but the shame of Chris and the others finding her and of having the doctor and nurses look at her with their pitying frowns was enough to keep that despair from consuming her again.

The embarrassment was a benefit in that regard, and Olivia focused on it rather than the feelings that had brought her to this point.

“Don’t I deserve it?” she asked. “I killed two people.”

“Did you?” her mom asked, and Olivia’s eyes snapped back to meet the eyes that were so similar to her own.

“What do you mean?”

“I know you, Olivia,” she replied. “And even if you did what you said you did in that video, I know it was an accident. Not murder.”

It wasn’t the first time that her mother had expressed doubt over her daughter’s guilt, but Olivia appreciated it more than she could express. She also couldn’t allow her mom to let her off the hook, though.

“I hit Drew, Mom,” she said, her gaze lowering. “I caused the accident.”

“But—”

“Maybe I didn’t mean to kill them, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t my fault.”

Edith squeezed her hand again. “That doesn’t mean you deserve to die too,” she said, her voice breaking on the last two words.

“I’m sorry,” Olivia said, her own voice trembling as her eyes started to burn. She sniffed and looked at the closed door. “How are Noah and Riley?”

If Olivia regretted anything, it was that her half-brother and half-sister had found her. She would have felt just as guilty if it had been her parents, but she’d seen the fear in her half-siblings’ eyes after she’d coughed up the bath water. They’d looked terrified.

“They’re okay. They’re just worried about you.”

Olivia nodded.

“Are you up to seeing them?”

“Yeah,” she replied before licking her lips nervously. “I think so.”

Edith sent her a brittle smile. “Okay, I’ll go get them.” She placed a kiss on Olivia’s forehead. “I love you, honey.”

Olivia smiled back. “Love you too, Mom.”

Her mom left the room, and Olivia didn’t have to wait long for the door to open again. Riley walked in, and though Olivia was expecting Noah to walk in with her, she closed the door behind her.

“Where’s Noah?” Olivia asked, adjusting herself on the bed and sitting up higher.

Riley walked up to the bed slowly, her stride and posture uncertain. She was playing with the end of her braid, a sure sign that she was nervous. “I wanted to speak with you alone if that’s okay.”

Olivia’s eyebrows rose. “Sure. Of course.”

“How are you feeling?” Riley asked.

Olivia’s eyes lowered to her hands. “Fine.” She shrugged. “Better.”

“That’s good.”

“I’m sorry you had to find me like that,” Olivia whispered.

“I’m just glad we got to you in time.”

“Yeah,” she replied, mostly agreeing, even if a part of her would have preferred that she hadn’t woken up after losing consciousness in that bath.

“Do you remember anything about what happened after you—” Riley cleared her throat. “After you took the pills,” she finished.

Olivia looked back up and frowned. “Do you mean after I woke up?”

“No.” Riley shifted on her feet. “I mean after you lost consciousness and before Chris resuscitated you.”

Olivia had known Chris was the one who’d performed CPR on her, but it still shocked her to hear it. She could have almost believed she’d hallucinated him kneeling next to her, his expression sick with worry. But Olivia knew his concern didn’t mean he’d forgiven her or that he ever would. She wouldn’t let herself read anything into it.

“I don’t understand,” she said, forcing her focus back to Riley’s question.

Riley bit her bottom lip and wiped her hands down the front of her ripped jeans. “You don’t remember seeing me?” she asked, grimacing at her own strange question.

“While I was unconscious?” Olivia asked slowly. “Uh, no.”

“Right,” Riley muttered. “I was worried you wouldn’t remember.”

“Remember what?” Olivia asked, sitting up straighter as annoyance flared in her chest. “What the hell is going on?”

“I, uh,” Riley began, her fingers going to the end of her lavender braid again. “Remember how I kept asking you to meet with me?”

Olivia nodded, her brows still drawn together. “Yeah.”

“Well, I had something really important I needed to tell you.”

“Okay,” Olivia said, drawing out the word.

“You don’t remember this, but I was in the living room with everyone else when you walked down the stairs after passing out in the bath.”

Olivia had to be missing something because she’d never felt so confused in her life. “I’m lost,” she said with a shake of her head.

“Nobody else could see you,” Riley continued, only making Olivia’s frown deepen, “Which is how I knew something had happened to you.”

Olivia blinked at her half-sister. “What?”

“I can see ghosts,” Riley blurted.

“You can see ghosts,” Olivia finally said after a long pause, her eyes wide as she looked at her half-sister, who’d clearly lost her mind.

Riley nodded, her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

“Right,” Olivia said. “And I’m the tooth fairy.”

Riley let out an annoyed huff. “I’m being serious, Olivia.” She stepped around the bed, so she was closer. “That’s the secret I needed to tell you and that I would have told you if we’d met up like I wanted.”

Olivia stared at the lavender-haired woman. “Now isn’t really the time to be messing with me, Riley.”

Riley’s expression softened. “I swear I’m telling the truth. It’s how I knew something was wrong and how we got to you in time.”

Something teased at Olivia’s memory, but she couldn’t quite grasp it or pull it to the forefront of her brain. “You’re telling me that I walked down the stairs as a ghost, and you saw me?”

Riley nodded.

“Because you can see ghosts.”

Riley nodded again. “I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the truth.” She stepped even closer. “How do you think we found Asher?”

Olivia narrowed her eyes. “You said Brett invited you over, and you heard Asher scream.” She’d found it odd that Riley would go to a stranger’s house, even if she’d taken Ella, Chris, and Noah with her, but that was the story she’d given to the cops.

Riley shook her head. “That’s what I told the detective, but the truth is Asher was in a kind of coma, and I could see his spirit.”

Olivia’s eyebrows flew up, disappearing behind her bangs. “You’re kidding, right? This is just some poorly-timed joke.”

“I’m not joking,” Riley insisted, sounding far too convincing. “If I hadn’t seen your ghost, you probably wouldn’t be here right now.”

Olivia swallowed. “How am I supposed to believe you?”

Riley threw up her hands. “I don’t know. It’s a family gift, okay. My dad and my grandmother had it, and they passed it on to me.” She wiped her hands over her face before shooting Olivia a glassy-eyed glare. “I can see dead people, and I’m fucking grateful that I can because otherwise you’d be dead.”

Olivia gaped as Riley’s face crumpled, and she choked out a sob.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just…”

Olivia shifted on the bed uncomfortably.

“You scared the shit out of me,” Riley admitted with a humorless chuckle. “I thought you were gone. I saw you on those stairs, and I thought you were gone .”

Olivia took an unsteady breath in. For all she knew, her half-sister was an amazing actress, but nobody was this good. She didn’t want to believe it, but Riley must have been telling her the truth.

“Please don’t ever do that again,” Riley said sharply. “I can’t lose you, too.”

Riley had lost both of her grandparents and her dad before moving in with them, and Olivia hated that she’d nearly added to Riley’s grief. But a part of her had actually thought her half-sister wouldn’t care all that much.

Olivia had been an absolute cow to her when she’d moved in. It wouldn’t have been surprising if Riley didn’t love her all that much.

“I’m really sorry,” Olivia said. She should have known Riley would have cared. Her half-sister was a good person. A much better person than she was.

Riley sighed, her shoulders slumping forward. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my abilities before.”

“To be fair, I’m not sure if I would have believed you before this.” She scoffed. “Honestly, I’m still not sure if I do.”

Riley smiled tightly. “It’s not the easiest thing to believe, but I swear I’m telling the truth.”

Olivia searched her half-sister’s face, taking in the earnestness of her expression and the glassiness of her eyes. “I believe you,” she finally said.

Riley softened at that, her whole body seeming to relax. “I felt so guilty for keeping it from you,” she told Olivia. “And the others hated lying to you.”

Olivia stiffened. “The others?”

She thought of how Ella, Noah, and Chris had kept pressing her to meet with Riley. They’d told her it was important. They’d known exactly what Riley had wanted to tell Olivia. They’d lied to her, and Olivia was guessing they weren’t the only ones.

The tension returned to Riley’s body, and her eyes widened. “Mom’s always known because my dad told her after they had me,” she explained. “And well, Noah and the others found out because they helped me find Asher.”

“Why did you need their help? I thought Asher’s ghost led you to Brett’s house?” Olivia asked quietly, her mind working hard to fit all the pieces together.

“Not exactly,” Riley replied with another wince. “Ella was actually the one who found where Brett was keeping Asher.”

“Ella?” Olivia asked, feeling oddly numb and detached.

Riley nodded, looking nervous again. “She has a gift, too.”

Olivia listened to Riley’s explanation, not allowing herself to outwardly react to anything her half-sister said. She didn’t even blink when Riley explained Ella could do something called dreamwalking and spiritwalking. She just stared as Riley explained Brett’s history with Ella while she spoke about his powers and how he’d kept Asher in a coma-like state with a stasis spell.

A shiver went through Riley’s body when she told Olivia about the exorcism she’d had to perform on Brett, but Olivia just took it in silently and stoically.

It sounded like something out of a book or a TV show. It sounded absurd, but Olivia listened to it all. And she believed every word. Riley wouldn’t lie about this, not when it would only earn Olivia’s anger, so Olivia didn’t doubt a word.

No wonder they’d met up without her that day she’d gone to get her book from Ella. They’d been hiding all of this from her. They had to meet in secret and lie to her about it because they’d all been lying to her for over two years.

“Does my dad know?” Olivia asked once Riley was done explaining everything.

Riley nodded, but the guilt in her eyes would have been enough of an answer. “Mom told him after we found Asher.”

“So Mom knows, and my dad knows,” Olivia said, her face remaining blank. She no longer needed the shame. Her new-found anger was plenty enough to drive away any lingering hopelessness and numbness. “Noah, Ella, Asher, and Chris know.”

Riley nodded again.

“So they all knew, and you didn’t tell me because…?”

Her half-sister flinched. “Mom and I were worried about—we weren’t sure…”

Olivia’s jaw tightened, her teeth gritting together. “You were worried about what?” she asked, her anger finally breaking through into her tone.

Riley shifted uneasily. “Mom was worried you might tell your friends.”

“She thought I wouldn’t be able to keep your secret?”

“I guess,” Riley replied.

“And you agreed with her,” Olivia surmised.

Riley didn’t look like she wanted to reply, but she finally nodded. “Things were still a bit tense between us, and I just wasn’t sure if telling you was the best way to go.”

“So you and everyone else decided to keep me in the dark?” Olivia asked, her hands curling into fists. “Because why would you trust some bratty teenager, right?”

Riley sighed. “It wasn’t like that. We wanted to tell you but thought it was better to wait until you were a bit older.”

“And I wasn’t old enough when I turned eighteen?” Olivia asked with an ugly chuckle. “Or when my boyfriend died? Or when I graduated from high school?”

“The longer I waited, the more scared I was to tell you,” Riley tried to explain. “I was scared you’d hate me, and I couldn’t bear the thought of things going back to how they were when I moved here.”

“You were right to be scared,” Olivia said, her glare scorching. “Honestly, I might have understood you keeping it a secret from me for so long. I would have even felt bad for dodging your calls and not wanting to meet up with you. I would have even blamed myself for you not telling me sooner because you were clearly trying.”

Riley’s lips parted, but Olivia sent her a scathing look that kept her from speaking.

“But if you’d really wanted to tell me, you could have. You didn’t need me to go for coffee with you. All you had to do was pull me aside when we bumped into each other on campus or when you came over for dinner.”

“I wanted to,” Riley said. “I really did.”

“But you didn’t.” Olivia shook her head bitterly. “All you had to do was tell me, but you dragged your feet for months once you’d actually decided to trust me with the truth.”

Riley’s eyes filled with more moisture until a tear rolled down her cheek. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Then why did you?” Olivia asked bluntly.

Riley and their mom had to have known it would hurt Olivia to know she was the last to know. They had to have known it would be just another sign of how Olivia was always the one to be excluded and left behind. They had to have known, but they’d still done it and lied to her for months and months.

“It was a mistake,” Riley said, her eyes pleading. “We should have told you. I should have told you.”

“You should have,” Olivia agreed. “And even with me avoiding you, you had plenty of opportunity to do so, but you chose not to.”

“Olivia, please,” Riley begged. “I’m so sorry, but I swear I was planning on telling you.”

“But I still would have been the last to know,” Olivia said.

Riley couldn’t get away with the lie, so she pressed her lips together and didn’t reply.

“Get out,” Olivia said, her palms starting to hurt from her fingernails digging into them.

Riley looked like she wanted to stay and keep arguing her case, but she must have known she wouldn’t win. “Do you want to see Noah?” she asked, her hand resting on the door handle.

“No,” Olivia replied. “I don’t want to see anyone.”

“What about your dad?”

Olivia’s chest clenched painfully. Knowing Noah, Ella, and Chris had been keeping this from her was bad enough. Knowing her dad had been lying to her was a blow she wasn’t sure she’d recover from.

“I don’t want to see him either,” she said.

Riley nodded sadly. “There’s something else you should know.”

Olivia narrowed her eyes. “What?”

Her half-sister gnawed on her lip and removed her fingers from the handle. “You weren’t alone when I saw you coming downstairs.”

“What are you talking about?”

Riley took in a deep breath before replying. “Drew was with you, and I think he’s still with you now.”

Every muscle in Olivia’s body tensed. “What?”

“I can sense when ghosts are around,” Riley replied. “And I always assumed it was Brett’s ghost that I felt because you were always with Ella when I saw you on campus.”

“You’re saying Drew didn’t move on?” Olivia asked, feeling like the breath had been knocked from her lungs.

Riley nodded. “I think he’s been with you all along.”

Olivia suddenly felt too hot, and she wiped her clammy palms on her bed sheets. “Did he say anything to you?”

Riley shook her head, and Olivia’s shoulders dropped. She thought of all the times she’d seen him since the accident. What if they hadn’t been hallucinations? What if they’d been real?

“If I told you I’ve seen him, what would you say?” she asked.

Riley’s forehead creased, and she stepped up to the bed again. “Are you saying you’ve seen Drew’s ghost?”

Olivia gulped. “Maybe.”

Riley nodded slowly. “Usually, I wouldn’t think that’s possible.”

“But?”

“But I don’t think Drew’s ghost is exactly normal. Ghosts usually can’t hide from me, but I can’t see him right now even though I can definitely feel him.”

Olivia’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean he’s not normal?”

“Remember the knife Brett attacked Ella with?” Riley asked.

Olivia nodded. It was kind of hard to forget that.

“Well, there was a rune carved into the blade,” her half-sister explained carefully, her eyes gliding over Olivia as though searching for Drew. “And we all thought that he hadn’t activated the spell he’d put on it until he tried to stab Ella a second time.”

“What does that have to do with Drew?” Olivia asked.

“Brett cut Drew with that knife,” Riley replied.

“And he cut my neck,” Olivia murmured. She lifted her fingers to her neck. The cut had been so small. She’d thought it insignificant, especially with Ella and Drew’s worse injuries.

“Which means your blood would have been on the blade, too,” Riley said.

“What did the spell do?” Olivia asked, feeling sick.

“We think it was meant to connect their souls or spirits together,” Riley said, “So that when they died, Ella would be tied to him.”

Olivia shook her head even though it made sense. Even though she knew it all lined up.

“Ella told us Brett activated the spell on the blade before he tried to stab her again, but it wasn’t the first time he’d done it,” Riley continued. “He must have been re activating it because it had already been used on you and Drew.”

Olivia’s eyes moved up from her lap to Riley’s pitying stare. “You’re saying Drew’s spirit is tied to me?”

Riley nodded. “When he died in the accident, Brett’s spell meant his ghost attached itself to you.”

Olivia felt frozen. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak. All the times she’d thought she’d been going crazy, all the times Drew had spoken to her…it had all been real.

“We can try an exorcism,” Riley said gently. “Drew should have the chance to find peace.”

Her words snapped Olivia out of her statue-like state, and she glared at the woman in front of her. “Get out.”

“Olivia—”

“If you’d told me about all of this earlier, I would have known I wasn’t imagining him,” Olivia told her, letting every ounce of rage show on her face and in her voice.

Riley’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know—”

“Get out!”

“I’m sorry,” Riley said, taking a step back. “But please think about the exorcism. We can’t undo the spell, so this is the only way he can move on, even if it’s painful for him.”

Olivia’s teeth ground together. “You can do it after the trial.”

Riley looked confused by that, but she didn’t question it. “Okay. Just tell me when you’re ready.” She opened the door but looked over her shoulder. “I’m really sorry for everything,” she said before leaving and closing the door behind her.

Olivia wanted to scream. Or cry. Or both. Instead, she planned until she’d finally settled on what she needed to do. She wouldn’t wait for the trial to end before Riley did the exorcism. She’d get her half-sister to do it after the dedication ceremony for the Georgetown University building, which, if the rumors about it were true, was for Drew.

Knowing exactly what needed to be done, Olivia reached for the phone her mom had brought for her, along with some clothes. She unlocked it and made the call, feeling more determined than ever. The part of her that had been disappointed her suicide attempt hadn’t worked faded into the background. That voice in her head that had convinced her she would be better off gone was unusually silent in the wake of Riley’s confessions.

Olivia’s mind hadn’t been so clear and focused since the night Drew and Lucas had died. It was a long-needed change.