22

Olivia woke up to someone pounding on the door. She groaned and forced her eyes open, wincing when pain spiked through her head. She lifted her hands to rub her temples but flinched and dropped them when her fingers met her still-tender bruise.

“Olivia? Are you in there?” The knocking continued. “We’re going to be late.”

She somehow rolled out of bed, noticing with confusion that she was wearing a tight sweater dress and not pajamas. It hit her later than it should have that she’d gone to a party with Amy the night before. She vaguely remembered Amy getting them an Uber, but the rest was a blur. Olivia was just grateful that her friend had gotten her home safely.

“Olivia?” Ella called out again.

“Coming,” she mumbled, staggering to the door and unlocking it.

Ella’s eyes widened as she took Olivia in. She blinked. “What the hell happened to you?”

Olivia squinted against the bright light coming in through the door. “My friend Amy invited me out last night,” she explained, ushering Ella in so she could shut out the sunlight. She closed her eyes and leaned her back against the door. “I told her I didn’t want to drink, but I think she accidentally gave me something with alcohol. And after the first drink, having another seemed like a great idea.”

“Are you okay?” Ella asked, sounding worried. “Did Amy at least make sure you were safe?”

Olivia nodded. “Yeah, I was fine.” She vaguely recalled Amy helping her into the pool house, which meant her friend had been responsible enough for both of them. “She made sure I got home.”

“Alright,” Ella said, not sounding very convinced. “Are you going to be okay to go to classes?”

Olivia’s mouth felt desert dry, her head was pounding, and she desperately needed some food to help combat the nausea churning her stomach. But she hated the idea of missing classes because she was hung over. Her dad would be beyond disappointed if he ever found out.

It was too bad fall recess started the following week rather than that morning. The short break would have been a perfect excuse for Olivia to sleep in and mope around.

“Do I have time for a quick shower?” she asked.

“Sure.”

“Then I’ll be fine. Just give me a few minutes.”

Olivia felt half-dead as she got ready and regretted all the choices that had led her to this point. She nearly kissed Ella when she emerged from the bathroom to find her friend holding a plate with a slice of toast and some cheese.

“I thought you could use some food,” Ella explained. “Your dad was in the kitchen, but I told him you overslept.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” Olivia replied, grabbing the plate and devouring the food in a few mouthfuls.

She took two Tylenol and put on a pair of sunglasses before they left, but they did little to ease her suffering. The trip to campus felt far too long, but Olivia felt a hundred times better after getting a coffee on campus.

She missed her first lecture in her quest for caffeine but knew it was worth it. She felt almost human once her second lecture rolled around. She sent Chris a text while she waited for the class to start, her lips curving up as she read the message he’d sent the night before.

But when she remembered the reason she’d agreed to Amy’s invitation so readily, her smile collapsed. She hadn’t said anything to Ella in the car, but she was still hurt that they’d excluded her.

Olivia knew she deserved much worse from them for her own lies and half-truths, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t angry. Chris’s lies felt especially hurtful, but then again, she would hurt him right back and in a far worse way when she told him everything.

And she was going to tell him. She would tell him that evening if he could meet up with her after football practice. No more delaying. No more letting her fear get the better of her.

She’d spent enough time keeping secrets. Olivia knew he deserved the truth from her, even if it meant losing him forever.

◆◆◆

Chris hadn’t responded to her latest message asking to meet in the library, but Olivia hoped she’d find him at their table between her last two lectures anyway. It was one of the days when their schedules meant they couldn’t meet up for long, but there would be more than enough time for them to make plans for that evening.

If Chris was even there, which his lack of response to her texts made her doubt.

Olivia avoided the stairs, taking the elevator instead. She hadn’t been able to take the stairs since her fall, and it was just another thing she’d have to face eventually. The list was becoming longer and longer despite her efforts, and Olivia wondered if she’d ever be able to conquer them all.

She doubted it.

The elevator stopped on the third floor, and Olivia started heading for their usual table. She slowed when she noticed a couple had already taken the table for themselves. Her eyes moved away from the girl, who was sitting on her boyfriend’s lap and running her hands through his hair as though they were in a bedroom and not in a public library, but something made Olivia’s gaze cut back to them.

The man’s back was to her, but she knew that hair. She knew those shoulders. She knew that deep chuckle he let out when the girl whispered something in his ear.

Olivia knew who was sitting on that chair with his arms wrapped around the golden-haired woman. Her stomach dropped like she’d missed a stair or stepped onto an unstable surface she’d expected to be firm beneath her feet. Her chest ached as her eyes took in the scene, but it was as though her brain refused to believe the truth.

She needed to see his face to accept it, so she walked closer, circling the desk with heavy steps that felt like a death march.

His eyes lifted, his gaze crossing the table to land on Olivia. She met his familiar brown eyes with her own, her stomach twisting with a combination of disappointment and disbelief.

“Kelce, give us a minute, won’t you?” Chris said, and the ache in Olivia’s chest became unbearable.

“Sure,” the woman Chris had slept with who knew how many times replied. She sent a smirk Olivia’s way before getting up and taking a seat at a table that was thankfully out of hearing range.

“Kelce, huh?” Olivia asked, forcing the words through her tight throat. She let out a humorless chuckle despite the pain scoring through the heart she’d left stupidly undefended. “Guess she wasn’t the only one wanting to rekindle things.”

Chris only stared coldly at her, his expression unmarred by guilt. “What can I say? The things she can do with her mouth…” He grinned, letting her fill in the rest for herself.

Olivia’s eyes were burning, and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep her tears at bay. How could she have let this happen to her again? How could she have believed any of the pretty words he’d said to her?

“So much for wanting me for more than just sex,” she said with a scoff. “I should have known it was all bullshit.”

Chris’s eyes narrowed as though she were the one in the wrong. As though he was the one who was meant to be angry. “I never made any promises. If you wanted something exclusive, you should have said.”

Olivia’s teeth gritted together. She couldn’t believe him. She couldn’t believe he could sit there and act as though she hadn’t made it clear from the beginning that she wanted more than sex. He knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t be okay with him sleeping with other people.

“Do I need to get tested?” she asked. “I’m guessing that story about you not sleeping with anyone in the last few months was bullshit too?”

“It wouldn’t hurt,” he replied, telling her everything she needed to know. He’d lied to her. He’d made a fool of her, and now he was sitting there as though he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Right,” she said with a bitter shake of her head. “Why did I expect anything better from someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” he asked, his brows lifting.

“Someone incapable of keeping it in his pants,” she spat.

“No need for slut-shaming,” he replied, his calmness making her want to punch him in his smug face even more. “We’re both adults, aren’t we? And I would have thought you’d be used to much worse after Drew.”

As though what he’d done was better. As though he hadn’t cheated on her just like Drew had.

“I never realized you and Drew were so alike,” she said, almost numbly. “More alike than you could ever imagine.”

“I’m nothing like him,” Chris retorted.

“You didn’t exactly wait until you’d ended things with me before you had your hands all over Kelce, did you?”

“The difference is that I didn’t make any promises to you,” he replied. “I’m not a cheater, no matter what you want to think.”

Olivia could feel her fingernails digging into her palms, her tight fists just begging to be put to use. “Why?” she asked. “Why lie? Why do any of it?”

“Why?” he said, his voice finally showing some emotion, even if the emotion was anger. “Because you killed my brother,” he told her, his tone acidic. “That’s why.”

Olivia’s eyes widened, and she took an unsteady step back. “What?”

“You nearly had me,” he said, standing and walking around the table to stand in front of her. “I almost believed you were innocent.”

“All of this because I got in the car with Drew?” she asked, her voice softer than she wanted it to be, holding none of the hard anger she felt simmering in her veins.

She didn’t want to believe that he’d done it all just to get back at her. She didn’t want to believe that everything had been a lie. The rock climbing, their date, sleeping with her. All of it. Fake.

“Yes,” he replied without a hint of remorse. “Except you did more than just get in the car with him, didn’t you?” he pressed, his brown eyes dark with hatred as he looked down at her.

Olivia took a step back, feeling too small before him. “What are you talking about?”

“Why don’t you ask your friend, Amy?”

Olivia’s frown deepened. “What?”

The muscle in Chris’s jaw feathered. “Here,” he said, taking his phone from his pocket and handing it to her. “You should think twice the next time you want to get wasted. Alcohol isn’t a good idea for people with secrets.”

Olivia gulped and played the video that was open on his phone. Amy was holding the phone, but they were both in the shot, their faces pressed close together as they whisper sang a Miley Cyrus song. They were sitting on Olivia’s bed, the gray headboard they were leaning against giving away their location.

Olivia turned down the volume of the video, cringing when she saw herself put a hand over her mouth like she was about to be sick. Amy stopped singing as well, and when Olivia disappeared from the camera’s field, presumably to vomit in the bathroom, she cackled.

“She’s such a lightweight,” Amy said to the camera with a grin before she got up and went to the bathroom.

She didn’t turn off the camera, and Olivia was glad to see that though she was sitting in front of the toilet, she wasn’t hurling up her guts. She was crying instead.

“Olivia?” Amy asked, her phone dropping to her side so Olivia was no longer in the shot. “What’s wrong?”

“He’s going to hate me,” Olivia heard herself say, and dread pooled in her gut.

“Who?”

“Chris,” she replied in the video, her voice slurred.

“Why would he hate you?” Amy asked.

“Once he finds out, he’ll never forgive me,” Olivia said, as though she hadn’t heard Amy’s question.

“Once he finds out what?”

“It was my fault,” Olivia said, her voice thick with tears. “I killed his brother.”

“Livvy,” Amy said with a sigh. “Sure, you shouldn’t have let Drew drive, but you didn’t kill anyone.”

Olivia flinched. She didn’t remember saying any of this, and she certainly didn’t remember Amy’s somewhat accusatory words.

“You’re nearly at the best part,” Chris said, his arms crossing over his chest as he watched her watch the video.

“Come on,” Amy said. She put her phone in her pocket, but the camera was still going. “Let’s get you into bed.”

Neither of them spoke for a handful of seconds, but Olivia could hear the sounds of her friend helping her up and tucking her into bed.

“It’s okay, Livvy,” Amy finally said. “You probably didn’t know how drunk he was.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. We were fighting, and I didn’t mean to,” Olivia said, sounding out of it. “It’s all my fault.”

“What are you talking about?” her friend asked, her tone sharper.

“He was being so awful,” Olivia replied, her voice breaking at the end with a sob. “I shouldn’t have done it. It’s all my fault.”

“What did you do, Olivia?” Amy asked, her voice like ice.

“I punched him.”

Olivia sucked in a breath. There it was. The secret she’d been keeping finally revealed. No wonder Chris hadn’t shown any remorse after she’d walked into the library.

“What?” Amy asked. She sounded shocked, and who could blame her?

“I punched him,” Olivia repeated. “And he swerved into the other lane.”

The video didn’t stop there, but Olivia turned it off. She’d seen enough.

Chris let out an ugly laugh. “You really had us all fooled,” he said. “And to think I’d—” He shook his head angrily. “To think I was ready to forgive you.”

“Chris, please let me explain. I—”

“You killed my brother,” he spat. “You killed my brother, and you had the nerve to think I’d want anything to do with you. You had the nerve to sleep with me after destroying my life.”

“That’s not—”

“I don’t ever want to see your face again,” he told her, stepping forward until he was right in her face. “You deserve to rot in prison for what you did, and even that wouldn’t be enough.”

Olivia had to bite down on her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. If Amy hadn’t taken that video and sent it to Chris, she could have told him the truth herself. She could have explained it better. But now it was too late.

Chris’s rage-filled expression transformed into a smirk. “You know, I never told anyone this, but when Riley first got here, I had this big crush on her.”

Olivia shook her head. He was just trying to hurt her. He didn’t mean it. He couldn’t mean it.

“I thought she was so fucking hot,” Chris continued, driving the knife deeper. “And if Asher hadn’t swooped in, I definitely would have made a move.”

“You’re lying,” she choked out.

Chris let out an amused huff. “No, I’m not. Is it really that hard to believe when you and I both know that everyone prefers her over you?” His smirk became uglier, twisting his face into something unrecognizable. “And why wouldn’t they? You’ve always been an entitled brat, always whining and complaining about how mommy and daddy don’t love you enough. I don’t know how Drew put up with it for so long.”

Olivia felt like she couldn’t breathe. His words were a punch to the gut that she would never fully recover from. Because he was right. Everyone in her life had chosen Riley over her. He was just another person who saw her as second best.

She could feel the burning ache of tears forming behind her eyes again, but she couldn’t let them fall in front of him.

“Have fun with Kelce,” she said before turning away and striding back toward the elevator.

Only once her back was to him did she allow her face to crumple and the tears to finally escape. The voice in her head that had been her constant companion since the accident told her that Chris was right. She was a murderer, and not even prison was enough for her. She deserved far worse for what she’d done.