Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Rory

I think back to two nights ago and my sleepover with Te. Actually, I think back to the visit from Te’s brother. The man drives me crazy, and I need to stop thinking about him.

Once he left all I could do was vent to Te about what a nutjob her brother was. Not that it did me any good because as soon as I got back in the room, I realized she was not on my side at all.

“Wow, the heat between the two of you…” she waves her hand like she’s been burned, “it is off the charts, my sweet friend.”

“What?”

“You all were so hot I thought I was going to need a fire extinguisher to put you two out, girl.”

I shake my head at her.

“No.” I deny what she is saying. “He’s crazy, Te. You know that, right? It’s not just me. The man is a walking crazy train! Why? Te, why is he a nutjob? What caused him to go looney?”

“If I had to guess I would have to say…you.”

“What? I caused him to lose his fluff and stuff?” Is she right? “How?”

She offers me a smile and pulls me down on the couch beside her, “Talking about your pussy would be one way.”

“I wasn’t talking about my pussy, Te! You were. I realize how weird that sounded as soon as it came out of my mouth.” We start laughing and push each other until both of us have to wipe tears away. “What gives anyway? Why did you tell your fucking brother I shave my hoo-ha?”

“Hoo-ha? Who calls a pussy a hoo-ha?”

“Me.”

“What are you, five?”

There’s another bout of laughing before we settle down and get serious about watching the movies we’ve chosen. I’ve missed this. Being able to veg with Te any time I want to. Spending the night eating junk food and gossiping. Moving at a slower pace. Going over to eat on Sundays with Missy.

We turned our girls’ night into a girls’ weekend. When Te had to go back to work on Monday I decided right then and there that I wasn’t going to allow Bennet to take all this away from me just because he doesn’t want me back. He is just trying to tease me with all this talk of spanking and…and, um, pussies so I’ll leave again.

I don’t even want to look too hard on why he would want to send me running. Maybe it’s because I left once and he’s afraid I’ll leave again and cause his sister heartache. Or maybe he is jealous that Te is dividing her attention between me and him now instead of it being just him, not that something like that sounds like Bennet. He isn’t really the jealous type.

And what was up with him telling me he hasn’t had anything to do with Jayden since school? Is that true or is he just saying it? Why would he even bring it up? Nothing about that man makes sense.

I need to keep my mind focused on getting my house fixed up just right and start figuring out what else I want to do with my life. I wouldn’t be where I am now if not for a small inheritance from my dad’s mother. I wasn’t about to take the money, but the lawyer told me if I turned it down it would all go to my dad -wherever the hell he is now. I’m petty enough to not want that so here I am.

But the money is only going to go so far. Then what?

For right now, I’m focusing on taking a shower because damn, sanding is sticky work. I have more of the wall on me than the hallway does. I step into my room and shed my clothes before I go into the bathroom leaving the door slightly ajar.

Letting the water slush over me, I start to do the one thing I told myself not to do - think about Bennet. How many times did I sit in the shower as a teen and think of him? Not sexual…okay, a little bit sexual, but mostly I would just daydream about what it would be like to be his girlfriend, to go to prom with him, to do girlfriend things like wear his coat or sleep in one of his shirts. Sometimes I would think about what would happen if we kissed, or if we ended a date by hitting second or even third base.

Now, it seems so childish but then it was the way I got through every hard time, every new low, I came across. In a way, Bennet was my hero even though he didn’t know it. Even Te didn’t understand how much I looked at Bennet as a knight in white. Him becoming a cop doesn’t surprise me at all, being everyone’s real hero, taking care of those who need that knight in shining armor.

And who did I become? I’m still that little girl waiting on her white knight, but now I understand it can’t be Bennet. I can’t keep pining over someone who is out there living their life and will probably wind up married to a woman who will be Te’s best friend and so sweet you just can’t hate her. And then what? Do I just keep on being the friend with the crush that is so painfully obvious to everyone around her? Or do I start living my life too?

I came back to this town to build a home and start a family. And I can’t do that without first finding someone who will share his sperm with me. I snarl my nose as I step from the spray and wrap myself in a huge terrycloth towel. The very thought is kind of repulsive and makes my stomach lurch. But I’m going to play it off as just a reaction to being hungry. I just need to eat…and have Te set me up with a couple of guys. Missy might help too. I’m sure she knows some nice guys who want the same thing I do.

I can make myself like someone and maybe over time I’ll learn to love the man. I walk back into my room and am about to drop my towel to air dry while lying on my bed when my closet door bursts open. I start to jump up but before I can a figure runs towards me and places his hands around my throat.

Every fear a lone woman can have pops into my head, and I realize the dream of having a home and a family of my own isn’t going to happen. I’m just going to be another stupid statistic. I reach up to dig at the hands around my throat and try to speak but nothing is coming out and the edges of my vision are starting to blur and shrink. It’s just a matter of time before the last thing I will ever think about streaks across my mind, and I’m gone.

The only thing that I can think of are the blue eyes that have haunted me since I was a little girl. Bennet. The last thing I can think about is the man I’ve wasted so much time trying to forget.