Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

It was predawn when Buddie and Rastin appeared at the cabin to pick up Charlie. I'd woken him this morning to tell him about the trip, feeling as if I were about to retch the entire time. As sick as it made me, he'd been bouncing around since he heard. He'd wanted to go to a big amusement park since before Death Day. It wasn't going to be exactly the way it used to be, but he wouldn't know.

He ran toward the door, where the guys were waiting. I chased after him with a bag of cookies.

"Don't eat them all at once." I tucked them in his backpack as I plastered on my fake happy face. I refused to let him see me cry. I'd figure out some solution to all of this and be back for him. The idea of leaving him completely was too much to bear. There had to be a way.

"Piper, it's okay. You'll get to come next time," he said, then wrapped his arms around my waist.

I'd told him I had to stay behind this trip to help Kicks.

"I know," I said.

I tried to fake it a little better until he left. I watched as he skipped along toward the bikes, hating that he wasn't at least going in an ATV. I wasn't exactly in a place to dictate, so instead I waved from the door and watched them drive away.

"You ready?" Kicks asked as I turned back into the cabin.

Now that they were gone, I stopped acting altogether. It was hard enough to breathe past the tension between Kicks and me, let alone pretend to be happy.

I nodded. He grabbed both of our bags that had been stashed out of sight in the bedroom. As soon as the sounds of the guys' departure died down, we headed out.

Evangeline and Crackers met us over by the bike.

"Don't worry. We'll take care of everything here," Evangeline said, the lines across her forehead looked as if she were doing enough worrying for everyone.

"We got it covered," Crackers said, nodding to Kicks and then trying to give me a smile. "Good luck."

"Yeah, good luck," Evangeline added.

"Thanks," I said.

We got on Kicks' bike, heading out in search of answers. Yet nothing about it felt hopeful. Instead it felt like the beginning of the end. How could there be an answer to the problem I had? Death wanted to use me as her instrument.

We stopped several times through the first day of the ride, and I was happy for the lack of breaks. When we were riding, I didn't have to talk, or pretend or lie. I could just be and think about what was coming. I'd thought I could leave Charlie, but not after this morning. I'd have to figure something out. If there was no way of getting away from Death, I'd at least negotiate. I'd figure out a way to stay close to him. He'd lost too much already, and I wasn't leaving him if there were any other options. I just had to figure out how to make that happen.

A human pack was out of the question. As soon as he started to shift, he'd need guidance I couldn't give, and humans would kill him. Maddocks' pack, maybe? If they hadn't heard anything too horrible? Or could I stay nearby, farther up on the mountain here? Still be in his life but removed slightly? There had to be a way.

I still hadn't come up with any better options when Kicks pulled up to a small bungalow situated along a stream. There were a couple lounge chairs on a deck overlooking the view. It would've been a cute little weekend rental back when there were enough people to do that sort of thing.

I got off the bike, happy to stretch out my legs for a while and look around.

"You knew this was here?" His course had seemed too planned out for us to have ended up here accidentally.

"Yes. Several of us have used it before when traveling."

I took a few steps toward the door.

"Let me go first," he said, cutting in front of me.

I'd thought he wanted to make sure the place was empty, but instead he knelt, undoing some sort of booby traps.

He straightened and then held the door open for me to go in. It looked well kept too, if not updated in a good half-century. It was cozy, with the stone fireplace that drew you over. I ran a hand along the mantel.

"I wouldn't risk lighting a fire unless you're in the mood to kill something tonight," Kicks said.

It was a flippant remark, a quick statement he hadn't given much thought. And yet it burned. How could anyone get past my victim list at this point? I thought about it constantly, and obviously so did he.

"I'd rather be cold," I said, not going as far as defending myself but laying it out there all the same.

He froze and locked eyes with me. "I didn't mean it like that."His voice held a hint of regret.

"I know." He might not have meant it the way it sounded, but it was in his head. It was hard to fault someone when you were thinking the same thing.

"You can take the bedroom. I'll take the couch."

I peeked around the corner, only seeing one bed.

"Try to get some rest tonight. We've got to make a stop tomorrow."

"Where?" It was the first I'd heard of any detours.

"There's a small human community that acts as a trading post of sorts. It's a bit more than halfway between here and the California pack. It's good for information and to keep an eye on what's happening farther out from our borders. It keeps me plugged in."

"Who do they think you are, exactly?" It sure wasn't going to be the truth, not that I was judging. I was learning how the truth didn't always set you free in the hardest way possible.

There was a lengthy pause before he said, "A rancher."

I stared at him, trying to envision him with fresh eyes. Had I ever been na?ve enough to see him as a rancher? No. My mother had once told me I'd come out of the womb with a cynical eye. I'd had a few slip-ups through the years, more lately than ever before. But not even my youngest of selves would ever see Kicks as a rancher.

"So you're happy-go-lucky traveling rancher Kicks?" It was hard not to laugh at the whole thing.

"Actually, it's Rancher Ed, who has a sister in California I go and check on." A hint of a smile was forming on his lips. He couldn't even take this disguise seriously.

"Rancher Ed?" I wasn't sure these people had any information worth listening to if they believed that story.

"Yes. I'm going to go hunt us up some dinner. I'll be back in a few. Don't wander."

"Okay, Rancher Ed ."

He raised a brow.

"What?" I shrugged. "I'm practicing."

"You sound like a bad actor trying to talk with a twang," he said, smirking.

"That's why I have to practice, Rancher Ed ," I said, laying it on even thicker.

It was the first lighthearted talk we'd had all day, and it felt nice to cut the tension for a second.

He laughed softly before he left.