Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Charlie was at Magnum's cabin, which we could see from our cabin's window. I was sitting on the couch as Kicks, Rastin, Buddie, and Evangeline talked by the window. They'd been chatting in hushed tones for close to half an hour, as if they could decide my fate. Those days were over. I was deciding my own path.

"I can't stay," I said, interrupting their quiet chatter. "Not after this. It doesn't matter whether I'm causing the deaths or not. I have to leave."

"She's right. It's too much," Evangeline said to Kicks, then turned to me. "I'm sorry. I don't want that to be the case, but there's no point in denying it."

She looked almost as unsettled as me. It didn't matter what Kicks said. She knew this situation was beyond repair.

"Kicks, she's right," Rastin said. "Your pack is on the verge of anarchy." He, on the other hand, didn't seem rattled but a realist.

"We go see the guide in California. He might have some answers. If we can understand what's going on, I think we can fix it." Kicks watched me as he spoke, trying to gauge my reaction, searching for a hint of what might truly be going on in my head.

I didn't give him much more than a nod. Going to another guide wouldn't solve this problem. It would only buy me some time to figure out my next steps. I knew I had to get out of here.

But what about Charlie? I couldn't leave him here, not now. He might be safer far away from me, but after what had just happened? Would his relation to me still leave him untainted by my crimes? I couldn't drag him to the California pack, where I wasn't welcome. I didn't know what to do with him, but being with me wasn't the answer, not until I knew what I was doing, where I was going, and what I was becoming.

"Buddie, Rastin, I need you guys to do something for me. I know it's a lot, but I need this." I stood but didn't make the mistake of going closer.

"What is it? You know I've got your back," Buddie said.

"Of course we will," Rastin said.

"I want you to take Charlie to visit Maddocks' pack in Florida for a couple of weeks. I want him out of here."

"Definitely," Buddie said, nodding.

"I was about to run through the roster here anyway," Rastin said. "I wouldn't mind checking out Maddocks' lineup. Plus, who knew how damned cold it got here? I thought I was in the South. What's with this frigid weather?" He shuddered, trying to make a joke the way he always did when things were at their worst.

I couldn't laugh. Not tonight, knowing I had to leave and might never see these people again. Might never see Charlie.

"Take care of him? Please?" I said, trying to keep my feelings from erupting and letting any of them know what my plans really were.

"Piper, you realize you're talking to a ride-or-die," Rastin said. "No one is touching a hair on that kid's head. You have my word. I'll die before anything happens to him, and I'm one tough son of a bitch to kill."

Kicks turned to Evangeline. "Can you handle things while we're gone? I'll ask Crackers to step up, too."

"You know I will," she said before taking a deep breath, as if the idea of Kicks' leaving was shredding her inside.

"Then we all leave tomorrow," Kicks said.

There were some hesitant glances back to me, as if they didn't know how to handle our goodbyes.

I nodded at them. "We'll all be back soon enough," I said, smiling as I lied.

"Guess we better go pack," Buddie said, walking toward the door with Evangeline.

Rastin paused, not following them out but staring at Kicks.

"I expect you to take care of her," he said. It was the first time I'd seen him speak to Kicks like this. "She's like a little sister to me, and I don't care what this looks like—she's good people."

"You don't need to tell me my business. She's my mate. No one will touch her," Kicks said.

Rastin stared at Kicks for a few seconds before he seemed to get whatever he needed from him.He nodded, and Kicks gave him a pat on the shoulder.

He looked back at me one last time. "It'll all be good," he said. "I will see you again."

I smiled as if I agreed. Nothing had been good before Death Day, and it had been getting worse ever since. I was done waiting for this good to happen. My bar for a good day was much lower. I was happy if no one died in my presence.

"We needed to go to California anyway." Kicks walked over and sat next to me. "We'll see what answers we get there."

"Why would you leave this? This is your home. It's where you belong." Belonging somewhere was so much more important than I'd ever given it credit for. I wouldn't take that away from anyone.

"I made a commitment, and I don't take that lightly. If you can't stay here, then we go together."

"I'm relieving you of your commitment." I wouldn't get into it again, but he owed me nothing. Less than nothing. I was in debt to him.

"I don't accept." His tone was firm.

I got up from the chair, feeling as if I had to put space between us. "Why can't you just let me go? Even if you wanted a guide, I'm not worth this aggravation. I'm not the guide that's going to bring your pack anything good."

He stood as well. "You're going to drag Charlie out of this pack, and then what? Roam alone, just the two of you? You think you're unkillable, but you're wrong. You'll never survive out there on your own."

"I'll be fine, and it's not your decision."

"Groza has a price on your head. The second you leave this pack, you're dead. Word will get out, and they'll come hunting you. I'm the only thing keeping you alive, and even that's iffy at this point."

It was even worse than I'd known. If I tried to take Charlie with me, I'd be guaranteeing his death.

This was why Kicks wouldn't let me leave. He didn't want another death on his hands.

I must've looked gray, because Kicks' tone softened as he said, "You didn't kill them. I know you didn't."

"Whether or not I killed them, they're dead, and the pack isn't going to feel any better about me in this lifetime."

"We will find an answer."

I doubted that, but I'd go with him to California and, if need be, disappear somewhere between here and there.

"I need to get some things in order so we can leave before morning." He stood there for a second before adding, "I'm going to have a couple of the guys keep an eye on the cabin while I wrap up a few details. If you see them, don't be alarmed."

I settled into the corner of the couch, pulling a throw tight around my shoulders as I realized the implication. The guards would be here to make sure I wasn't murdered.

"I'm not exactly helpless."

"It'll make me feel better."

I shrugged. I didn't care. It might be better if they were there. If Magnum brought Charlie back, I didn't want the kid's last memory of me to be a killing spree if someone tried to attack.