Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

KENZIE

I 'm sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast, when Kobrik kisses my neck from behind. "I didn't mean to wake you. I have an early shift at the hospital."

When he slides into the chair opposite me, I notice his frown. "I'm sorry, Kobrik. I don't get paid unless I work."

"Does that mean you've decided not to leave with me?"

"I haven't decided anything," I answer honestly.

Over the past three days, we've spent most of our time talking and getting to know each other while doing errands. Everything from walking to the farmer's market to searching for materials to fix my door no longer bores me. It's because of Kobrik. The way he smiles at me, holds my hand, and is always there for me makes everything exciting.

But a wall has formed between us. I'm torn about whether I should go with him to Zyan or stay on Earth. It's not like moving to another city where I can always hop a bus to return if things don't work out. He lives across the fricking universe!

"I have two days left on Earth. Will you spend them with me?" he asks.

"Are you sure you want me to? I mean, you haven't touched me since your first night in my apartment."

In seconds, he lifts me from my chair and sets me on the counter where he leans in, hands on either side of me. "Shall I take you here and now, Kenzie, because I've thought of nothing else since I met you. I've wanted nothing more than to touch you, to be inside you, but I'm not sure I can without claiming you with both cocks. I've never used my mating cock and I've heard the drive to leave my seed inside a heartmate is often too strong to resist."

I run my hands down the soft scruff on his face, marveling at how perfect touching him, being with him, feels. Why can't I just say yes to this wonderful man?

"Drekk, I love when you touch me." He closes his eyes briefly then opens them bearing down on me with a new intensity. "When you spoke about blue balls the other day, I didn't truly understand what you meant. Now, my balls are so filled with my seed they're dark purple and I'm ready to explode."

That's exactly what I needed to hear. He still wants me! More than ever, I need this male, and yet I'm scared to leave Earth.

"I'm a messed-up pain in the ass, aren't I?"

"You have an adorable ass and you are not a pain, my sweet sholani. Far from it. This is not an easy decision. If I could, I'd decide for you to spare you the worry and fear, but only you can look in your heart and decide what will make you happy."

" You make me happy." The words spill from my mouth.

"But you are not ready to leave your world." His frown makes my stomach twist.

Why the fuck can't I say I'll go with him? And then it hits me.

"I grew up very sheltered, Kobrik. It took me years to acclimate to living on my own, and that was because I didn't have a choice. When the Coalition discovered my father was helping the resistance, they stormed our house. I hid behind a false panel in a closet, like we'd practiced. They never found me, namely because no one knew I existed. You don't tear a place apart looking for something that doesn't exist, right?"

"This is why your parents sheltered you."

"Yes. Women had no rights. To education or anything. Anonymity was my best protection. My parents taught me what they could at home, but my home became my prison. I never went outside, except the one time."

"Is this when your brother was executed?"

I nod. "He was arrested at school, though I had no way of knowing that at the time. I hid in that secret room for days, waiting for someone to give me the all-clear, but it never happened. I emerged days later to an empty house. Lunch still sitting on the table. It was as if time had stopped.

"I waited in our home for weeks, alone and frightened by every noise. When the food ran out, I was forced to leave. The world I'd only seen once before terrified me, but not as much as realizing my parents and brother would never return."

Kobrik reaches for me but I hold up a hand. I have to get the words out. "I was seventeen. Old enough to survive on my own, but I had to overcome the fear of going outside. I had to learn how the world worked and find a way to educate myself, so I could earn a living instead of selling myself as many women ended up doing."

Strong arms embrace me. "I knew you were brave, but this… Afanzi siv allula akani sil tuk, mis sholani." He says in what I presume is Zyanthan. "I'm sorry for the loss of your family and the struggles you've endured."

I want to stay wrapped in his warmth forever, and completely forget the past, but I can't. It's what drives me forward.

"It's taken me years to learn how to be independent and not let the fear drag me under. And now you want me to move to an alien planet where everything will be new all over again, except more. The language, the culture, the food, the rules."

His forehead touches mine, his warm breath cascading over my face and down my neck. It's exceedingly intimate, conveying so much of who he is.

"I will not pull you from your world. If you still want me, and I pray to the gods you do, my sholani, I will find a way to stay on Earth, even if I must break my vows to my people and my world."

I throw my arms around him. For as much as I want him to stay with me, I won't make a criminal of him. I won't destroy him.

Kobrik's comm vibrates and after a few seconds he tears his attention away from me. He taps the device.

"Warrior Vardell," Major Collins' voice comes over loud and clear. And annoyed . "Your request has been denied. Your assistance is no longer needed on Earth."

Kobrik anticipated that I'd want to stay, and he took steps to remain here. All because of me . I'm astounded and falling head over heels for this man.

"Your ship must launch within the next forty-eight hours," Major Collins adds.

My stomach knots at the thought of Kobrik leaving. When I tug on his arm, he mutes his comm.

"Tell him what I saw. About Nelson."

"You are safer if you do not get involved." He has said this numerous time over the past few days. The only thing we've argued about in fact.

"They need to know there's an accomplice," I say, not giving up.

Kobrik takes a deep breath then unmutes. "The grud has an accomplice, Major."

"Unless you give me evidence, I'm closing this case."

"I saw a male in costume speaking with the grud."

"That was Halloween. Everyone was wearing costumes. That's why the grud blended in so well."

"Kobrik has a witness, Major," I chime in loud and clear.

"Who's that?" Collins asks.

"The witness," Kobrik reluctantly admits. He stretches out his arm, keeping me from being seen. Then he proceeds to relay my encounter with Nelson and the grud, noting every detail precisely as I told him.

"I'll add this to the report. Send me the woman's contact information, Warrior."

"No," Kobrik answers firmly. "She'll remain safe if her identity remains secret."

"Very well. But I don't think this affects your status here."

"Understood, Major."

"You interviewed her without me?" a new voice chimes in.

"You weren't here, Doctor," Major Collins says.

"I need to know what she knows."

The comm goes dead.

"Who was that?" I ask. "He sounded familiar."

"Dr. Parsons. A consultant who adds no value but is always offering advice."

"We have a lot of those in our government. Before and after the occupation. You surprise me, Kobrik."

"In what way?"

"You were risking losing the accomplice just to shield me."

His hand sift through my hair. "You are my priority."

"All because I'm supposedly this heartmate of yours?"

"Not supposedly. You are my sholani. The female to whom I bonded long before we met. The female I plan to spend my entire life adoring, if you'll let me."

Oh, I want that, but the more I think about leaving Earth, the greater my fear becomes.

Kobrik's hand reaches for me, and I lurch as I flash back to Josh's party. A shiver wracks my body.

"Kenzie?"

It takes me a moment to speak while I make sense of what just happened. "When you reached for me, I suddenly remembered Nelson reaching out to me with those six hairy spider arms."

"It was a costume."

"Was it? I'm not so sure. Those arms seemed so real. Like when I first met you and I thought your horns were fake. I never considered you were anything but a human wearing a costume. What if I'm doing the same here? Am I assuming Nelson was a man in a spider costume? Maybe he's some type of alien spider."

I shake my head. "No, that can't be it either. His middle arms moved, but not in sync with his upper arms. There was a moment when he reached for a drink with his right hand that the middle arm on that side moved the opposite direction."

"Do not doubt your instincts, but until you unravel whatever is bothering you about him, we will keep your questions to ourselves."

"You don't trust the military?"

"Galactic Intelligence suspects an enemy agent inside Earth's military. It's part of the reason they sent me to hunt this grud. To catch him before the humans, so I would control the interrogation and discover why he was sent to Earth."

"And now that he's dead, what happens?"

"Major Collins has given me forty-eight hours to leave. I asked Galactic Intelligence to intervene, but they've failed to convince the humans I should stay. Earth's military has been compromised, which is why I won't give them your name or location." Kobrik's arms fold across his massive chest while his horns twist at the top, an action I've learned means he's conflicted.

I kiss his hand before unfolding it and resting it on my hip. "Tell me the rest, please. Don't exclude me."

"If I stay against orders, I could be arrested, sent home in cuffs, and my ship taken from me, which will keep me from returning. Unless I steal another. I?—"

"You're not a criminal," I cut him off, before he entertains any other ideas that will compromise him.

He cups my cheek. "You need more time to decide, yes?"

I nod.

"Then you will have it. Somehow." He holds my toast for me. I glance at the clock. I'm running late for my shift.

I take a bite and he stands there waiting to feed me more. His somber expression causes me to lose my appetite. "I wish I could stay with you today, but I need to go to work. I can't leave them short-handed, not with lives on the line."

"Then go, my little human. I will be here when you return." He taps my mouth with his finger. "One more bite."

"I won't waste away if I don't eat."

"You need your energy. For work." A smile teases his lips, making my mood soar high. "And for tonight. With me."

I so want to sleep with him. Now, more than ever. I'm not even sure if that's what he's hinting at, but I'm all in.

"Do you want to walk me to the bus stop?"

"I will escort you to your job."

"There's no need to go the whole way."

"Yes, there is. I will ensure you are safe, my sholani."

Warmth spreads through me. And I pray I can find the courage to follow him to Zyan.