Chapter Seventeen

ALTHOUGH KEAGAN OFFEREDto hook her up with another job, Tahey wasn"t ready to jump into another corporate job so soon. She had a feeling that anything resembling an office would be enough to make her cry. Instead, she politely turned down her friend"s offer and accepted another friend"s invitation to fly out to Wyoming.

Tahey had met Story back in her university days, and the two of them - along with A.W. and S.M. - made up the B.G. Club. On paper, it stood for Book Girls, but the real meaning behind the name was Bullied Girls. All of them - their moderator included - had been bullied at one point in their lives, and having this in common had made it easier for the girls to become fast friends.

Since then, Story had married a wealthy and devastatingly sexy sheikh who occasionally doubled as a horse instructor (long, long, long story) in the remote little town of Hartland, Wyoming.

The last time the two girls met, Story had still been pregnant. Now, however, her friend was a mother to a precocious three-year-old named Elana, and if rumors were to be believed, the cheeky little kid was her Papa"s worst nightmare.

Tahey now had a job mucking stables, and although it was the very opposite of glamorous, Tahey couldn"t be any more grateful. Story had tried to get her to work elsewhere, of course, but Tahey wouldn"t hear of it. What mattered most to her was that this job didn"t remind her of her days at Strakh Inc., and it had her actually looking forward to hours of shoveling manure out of the stalls and having fun while giving the sheikh"s horses a good, long bath.

Today was the end of another productive day, and Tahey gave the beautiful white stallion an affectionate little pat. "Now that you"re all sparkly, please, please try to keep yourself this way until tomorrow at least? Please?"

The Arabian proudly shook its head, and Tahey wrinkled her nose. "Are you saying you enjoy being dirty?"

She wasn"t really expecting an answer, but she heard one nevertheless.

"I do."

Tahey jerked.

No.

She turned around, and the voice she had been hoping was nothing but a hallucination—-

It was real.

Because he was here.

Dmitry.

She watched him walk close and had to fight against the urge to bolt. It almost felt like déjà vu, really. The last time Tahey felt this way, it had been that day she was in the battle room, and she was about to be interviewed by the men of Strakh Inc.

Tahey lifted her chin. Even frightened as she was at that time, she hadn"t run, so no way was she going to run now. She was tougher now. Truly.

Dmitry now stood inches before her. Big, sleek, and beautiful like the dangerous cat he still reminded her of, and even though he was wearing one of his terribly expensive suits, it wasn"t enough to mute the tension his powerful frame radiated—-

A sick, horrifying thought struck her, and her eyes flew up to him. "Is it my dad?" she whispered. "Did he do something again?"

Dmitry could"ve cursed himself for not expecting Tahey to think and fear such a thing. "No," he said right away. "There"s nothing for you to worry about on that score."

"I d-don"t understand then..." Tahey wrapped her arms around herself, confusion and fear making her feel cold from within. "Why are you here?"

Dmitry shoved his hands deep in his pockets. "I"d like you to work for me again."

Tahey stared at him as if he had lost his mind. "No."

"Are you saying you"d rather work in this dump?" Dmitry snarled.

"Yes."

"Don"t lie—-"

"That"s your thing," she pointed out unevenly, "not mine."

"Fuck."

And it was that of all things...

God.

Who knew, she thought hysterically, who fucking knew it was another F-bomb that would make her break down?

God.

She stumbled a step back, but it was too late. That fucking F-bomb...resurrected all the memories she had tried so hard to bury.

Because once—-

A magical night among the many magical nights that she used to share with him—-

A magical night that, at that time, she had believed was real.

And in that one magical night, while basking in the warmth of his embrace, she had asked him sleepily, Why did you keep saying "fuck"? Did you really hate me that much?

Yes, he had told her, and no. I had my reasons for disliking you, but more than that, it was because every time you came close, I couldn"t help wanting you.

"Tahey—-"

The memories crumbled at the hoarse sound of Dmitry"s voice, and she choked back a sob.

God.

What a fool she had been.

When he told her that, she had actually found herself feeling tickled pink...

God.

She couldn"t believe how much of an idiot she had been about him, so foolishly crazy in love with him that she actually felt glad, knowing she had made him say "fuck".

And now—-

Oh God, she only had to hear him say "fuck", and...

No. No. No.

She looked up at him. "Why are you here?" she asked painfully. "What else can you possibly want—-"

"You said you loved me," he gritted out.

She stared at him.

And then she was laughing, a tiny hysterical sound that had his jaw clenching at how fragile she sounded.

"It"s like what you said," Tahey finally managed to say. "I"m an idiot—-"

"Are you waiting for me to beg?"

"No." She shook her head, so tired that she couldn"t even manage to feel dismayed or appalled Dmitry would think that. "I"m waiting—-"

"Because I"d beg if you wanted me to."

Tahey"s heart nearly stopped beating.

"Actually..." His throat tightened. "I"m begging right now—-" But when he tried to reach for her, she jumped back, a look of such fear on her pale, lovely face that he froze in shock.

"No." Tahey was white-faced in her terror. "No."

"I wronged you, Tahey." And this time, he heard his own voice turning rough with emotion. "I was blind with grief and bitterness. And I wronged you—-"

"Please s-stop—-"

"I"m sorry. I"m sorry for hurting you—-"

Tahey shook her head wildly. "Stop it—-"

"I know I don"t deserve to ask you this," he forced himself to say, "but please come back. Please—-"

"I c-can"t."

"I love you, Tahey."

Tahey gripped her chest. Oh God. It hurt so, so much. Once, she"d have done everything to hear those words. But not anymore.

"That"s just guilt," she whispered. "But you don"t really love me, Dmitry. I don"t think you ever can."

The finality of her words ravaged him, and Dmitry could barely breathe at the pain of it. "Tahey, please..." He could feel his own eyes stinging, but he couldn"t even feel embarrassed about this, was too terrified of losing her that he couldn"t think of anything else. "Please—-"

"Thomas will always be between us—-"

"Listen to me, please."

And to Tahey"s shock, Dmitry dropped to his knees in front of her. Her proud Dmitry, kneeling in the middle of a stable, and her heart just couldn"t take it. "Don"t do this, Dmitry, please—-"

"I went to see your father."

The rest of Tahey"s words died.

"And he"s the reason why..." Dmitry swallowed hard. "I"m working hard to forgive him, Tahey."

A sob caught in her throat.

"Talking to him, I realized...I was lucky. Because when I started Strakh Inc., it only took a short while before I became desensitized to all the death. It became all too easy to get used to playing judge and executioner. It"s a slippery slope, when you think you know what"s best, and if I didn"t have Sasha and the others...if we didn"t have each other..." Dmitry"s jaw clenched anew. "It would"ve been all too easy to fall into the same trap your father did and start thinking that the ends would justify the means."

Tahey"s tears were falling nonstop, but this time...

Oh God.

She clutched at her chest. It was hurting more than ever, but the pain...

"We were lucky," Dmitry repeated forcefully. "We had someone to pull us back before any of us could ever cross the line. But your father...he didn't have anyone. You were too young, and after losing your mother...he made a mistake. A mistake that killed my sister and so many others, but..."

Dmitry waited for Tahey to say something, but all he could hear was her sobs, and he wondered if perhaps...

God.

What if he was the fucking exception, he thought dully, rather than the rule?

What then?

He tried to imagine a life without her—-

God.

And it was just fucking impossible.

Just fucking impossible.

And he could only squeeze his eyes shut at the pain of it.

God.

He hadn"t prayed for years, but for his Tahey...

Please God.

Please.

And when he opened his eyes—-

Tahey was kneeling in front of him.

Crying.

And he could only ask in a voice raw with fear and regret-—

"Am I too late, baby?"

Her arms wrapped around him. "Never." Her arms tightened, and it was then he heard God answer his prayer as Tahey choked out, "I love you."

He closed his eyes. Thank you. And then his own arms wrapped around his heaven-sent gift. "I love you, Tahey. I love you. I love you."