35. Ember

35

EMBER

" R emind me why we're doing hot yoga?" I asked, trying to wipe sweat from my eyes without face-planting into my mat.

"Because," Kora said from the pose next to me, "you said you needed to clear your head, and nothing clears your head like trying not to die in hundred-degree heat while pretending to be a pretzel."

She wasn't wrong. It was hard to obsess about Orion when I was focused on not sliding face-first into a puddle of my own sweat. I was also desperately trying not to look at the shockingly large package of the old man in front of me. He was wearing skin-tight, neon blue yoga pants and it looked like he was smuggling a small produce aisle's worth of goods between his legs.

He was also spread-legged and swaying his ass toward me as we all dripped with sweat.

If hell was real, I thought this might actually be it. Maybe I died? Maybe Orion glared at me too hard while I wasn't looking and fried my brain.

"Besides," Kora added as we moved into child's pose, "you kept saying we needed to do something different than sitting around eating ice cream and talking about your love life."

"It's not a love life," I whispered. "It's a... complicated physical arrangement that's becoming increasingly less physical and more complicated."

The woman in front of us snorted.

"Sorry," I muttered. Then I lowered my voice further. "And we haven't even... you know. Gone all the way yet."

"What?" Kora's head whipped toward me so fast she nearly toppled over. "But I thought?—"

"Shhh," the instructor called. "Feel the peace within."

We managed to stay quiet through the rest of class, but the moment we hit the locker room, Kora rounded on me.

"What do you mean you haven't had sex? You've been sneaking around for weeks!"

She was right, of course. Time felt like it was slipping by too fast lately. It had already been two weeks since that first time Orion took me in the closet. It had been days since the tender, confusingly perfect kiss in his office. And now our interactions had taken on an entirely different flavor.

He had softened toward me, losing some of the overtly hostile and cold over-acting from before and landing somewhere on respectful cooperation. It was as if he respected me as an employee and valued my opinion, which was equally weird after working for Cole so many years.

By day, we continued to poke out our plans for Davenport’s factories. Ever since the night of the kiss in his office, Orion seemed like he flipped a switch on his approach, too. I could tell he was finally pouring his efforts fully into putting together a plan of action Davenport would love—not just a plan that suited Foster Real Estate or Orion Foster.

I busied myself with my gym bag, pulling my thoughts back to Kora and her question. "We've done... other things. But not that. It's like we keep getting close and then one of us pulls back."

"Why?"

"I don't know." I tugged out fresh clothes, thinking about how Orion's kisses had changed lately—slower, deeper, like he was trying to memorize me. "It's like we're both afraid crossing that line will make it real. And after that night in his office…”

"What happened in his office?”

"Nothing. Everything. We just... kissed. But it was different. Like neither of us was pretending it was just physical anymore."

"Honey," Kora said gently. "It was never just physical."

I slumped onto the bench. "I know. And that terrifies me. Especially with Cole getting more aggressive."

"What do you mean?"

"He must have heard Davenport is leaning toward Foster Real Estate, because he's getting intense. He even hacked my cloud account a few weeks back to steal my research and plans. He's used my own work to keep his foot in the door with Davenport.”

Kora pulled a disgusted face. "Why do they both care so much about one client?"

"That's the thing—I'm not sure. The contract isn't even that big compared to some of our other projects. Like Eleanor Golding just signed on for this massive contract a few weeks ago and nobody batted an eye. I feel like there has to be more to it."

"Have you asked Orion?"

"No,” I admitted. “I get the feeling I won’t like the answer. And I guess I’m afraid to ask him for the truth because he might give it to me. It’s probably the same reason he isn’t pushing me to come clean about Cole.”

“Girl…” Kora said. “You’re both so right for each other because you have equal talents for making simple things super complicated.”

I glared at her, but smiled. “I’ve just been hurt so many times before. And it’s like we both know it’s not going to last, so we’re trying our best to make what we can out of this point before it all comes apart.”

“You’re setting yourself up for heartbreak, Em.”

“I know. But that ship sailed weeks ago. And lately, he has seemed so different. More open. Like I'm starting to understand why he pushes himself and everyone else so hard. There's this whole other side to him that he keeps hidden, and sometimes when it slips out..." I groaned and buried my face in my hands. "God, I'm in so much trouble."

"Breathe," Kora commanded. "You're spiraling."

"I'm allowed to spiral! I'm sleeping with my boss while hiding the fact that I originally took the job to spy on him, all while my psycho ex is potentially using information I gave him to steal a huge contract, and oh yeah—I think I might be in love with said boss who will definitely hate me when he finds out everything!"

An elderly woman who'd been quietly changing nearby gave me a sympathetic look. "Men," she said, shaking her head. "I knew a man like that once. Turned out he was running a pyramid scheme with my inheritance money. He was also very into some... unconventional bedroom activities. Butt stuff,” she added with a stage wink.

"See?" I told Kora. "Even random strangers think I'm screwed."

"Actually," the woman said, "I was going to say I married him anyway. Been together forty years now." She winked. "Sometimes the complicated ones are worth it, dear. And sometimes their... quirks... grow on you. Besides, you get used to the feeling of a butt plug. Now I won’t even leave home without one in.” She finished changing, smiled, and walked out without waiting for comment.

I turned to Kora. "Did that really just happen?"

"I think we'll both be better off if we pretend it didn't. But you heard her point, right?”

“The one about butt plugs?”

“The other one,” Kora said, smirking. “About how you should stop making things so messy and just go for it.”

"I'm not sure I want to take life advice from someone who—you know what? Never mind."

As we walked to get smoothies, my phone buzzed.

Cole: I need back in your cloud account. None of your old passwords are working. I need to see what you have been working on so I can wow Davenport. I’m meeting him one last time today. Come on, Em. Don't let me down. And hey, pull this off, and I might think about letting us start things back up again.

I deleted it without responding, but my hands were shaking. I still couldn’t believe I had been dumb enough not to change all my passwords after the breakup. I changed the important ones, like my streaming TV passwords and bank passwords. But somehow, I hadn’t thought Cole would bother to get into my boring old Google Docs files.

Every time I thought about how my stupid careless comment about Davenport started this whole stressful mess, I wanted to bury my face in my hands.

"You okay?" Kora asked.

"No," I admitted. "But I think it's time. I don't care if Orion doesn't want to know. I need Cole to know I'm not helping him and I'm never getting back with him. I just... need all this off my chest. I'm going to come clean, and if Orion hates me for it, then so be it. But I'm going to explode if I don't just get this out."

"If it goes nuclear," Kora said, "we can always come back to hot yoga. Nothing cures heartbreak like heatstroke."

I laughed despite myself. Maybe she was right. Maybe everything would be okay.

Or maybe I was about to lose the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Only one way to find out.