29. Ember

29

EMBER

" H e's driving everyone insane," Kora said, stirring her coffee with unnecessary vigor. "Cole's got the whole office working overtime on this Davenport thing. It's all he talks about."

Kora’s usually put-together exterior showed some signs of the strain she was under. She hadn’t even put on eye-shadow or curled her hair, which was pretty much equivalent to me walking out of the apartment in my pajamas and no make up.

We were at our usual coffee spot, the one far enough from both offices that we wouldn't run into anyone we knew. I picked at my muffin, trying not to look as guilty as I felt. After last night's dinner with Colton and the subsequent disaster this morning, my head was spinning.

"Is it that bad over there at Northman Group?" I asked, more to keep the conversation going than anything else.

"Worse. Yesterday he threw a stapler at someone for suggesting the factory redesigns weren't 'heritage-focused' enough." She leaned forward. "Em, what exactly did you tell him? He's acting like this contract is going to make or break the entire company. I looked into the factories. They're big and all, but it's hardly that different than our usual clients. So what gives?"

I thought about how Orion had tensed when I mentioned something feeling off about the Davenport deal the other day. I thought about how quickly he'd shut down any discussion about it. "Honestly? I'm starting to think there's more to this deal than anyone's telling me. Orion gets weird whenever I ask too many questions about it. And if Cole's this desperate to win it..."

"Speaking of Cole," Kora said carefully. "He's been asking about you. A lot. It's getting weird."

My stomach churned. "Weird how?"

"Like, creepy-ex weird. He's got this theory that you and Foster are..." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "I mean, I was all for it after what you told me about those emails, but you made it sound like things went south in a hurry. What gives?”

"God." I buried my face in my hands. "The other night was a disaster. First the dinner was amazing—Colton actually made Orion laugh and told these stories from college that made Orion seem like a living, breathing human, if you can believe that.”

“Hardly,” Kora said with a smirk.

“After dinner, we went back to his place and everything just..." I swallowed hard. "You should have seen Colton’s girlfriend, Kora. She was perfect. Like, genetic lottery perfect. I got myself thinking about how guys like Orion could have girls like her any time they want. And that got me thinking about how Cole, who is hardly a fraction of the man Orion is, replaced me with perfect little Kylie so easily. So I was staring at my reflection next to him and taking it all in and it just hit me: why the hell would he want me? Why would he even stay with me if he did decide to give things a try? And then he blurted something about how us being together was inadvisable, and it felt like everything inside me just shriveled up and died.”

“Em…” Kora said softly. “First of all, you are one hell of a catch. If I was a fisherman, I’d throw Kylie back in the water. You, though? I’d bring you home and keep you in a fancy aquarium.”

I grinned. “I’m assuming that’s a compliment, so I’m just going to say thanks and ignore the obvious problems with your little image here.”

“Good. Because it’s a compliment. And Orion obviously sees it too. The guy is crazy about you.”

“Was,” I corrected. “Ever since our blow up at work, he hardly looks at me. He doesn’t even send ‘the email’ at night anymore.”

“There was a blow up at work?” Kora asked.

“Well… I think we were both feeling weird after the double date and the conversation we had at his place. Some things were said and he basically accused me of lying, working for Cole—which he apparently knew I had done all along because he looked up my work history—and trying to sleep with him to gather information for Northman Group.”

Kora pulled a face. “Ouch…”

“I know. And I got so hurt by it, even though the majority of it was true. I just… I hate that he really thinks the moments we shared could’ve been fake. Like… yes, I know I screwed up royally by not telling him the truth about Cole myself and way earlier. But I would never play with someone’s emotions and pretend to be into them—for any reason.”

“And I assume you told him that?” Kora asked.

I fidgeted with my coffee cup. “Emotions were high, Kora. I think I was just trying not to cry like a baby because my feelings were hurt.”

She sighed. “I know it’s going to suck, but you need to have another conversation with him. Get everything out. That’s the only way any of this gets better.”

“He doesn’t want the truth anymore. He just wants me to shut up, keep my head down, and land this Davenport deal.”

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly that. He basically told me he didn’t even want to hear my secrets. I think he’d rather assume the worst than open himself up to listening.”

“And?” Kora said. “Since when has Ember Hartwell been too timid to speak her mind, whether or not somebody wants to hear it?”

I grinned a little. “Since she really liked a guy and became terrified of messing things up?”

“Can they get much more messed up than they already are?”

“Probably,” I guessed.

“Okay, true,” Kora admitted. “But what are the chances he’s going to change his mind if you keep going in silence like this? You guys need to talk. Even if you don’t talk about your little secret and whatever he might be hiding about the Davenport deal, you can at least talk about the way he makes you feel. Be honest about that and see what happens.”

“I don’t know,” I said, voice dejected. “I’m not sure he’s even going to want to listen to me anymore.”

"The longer you wait, the worse it'll be," Kora warned. "Especially if Cole decides to tell him first."

"You don't understand. He'll hate me. Everything we've built, every moment of trust—it'll all be tainted. He'll think none of it was real."

"Wasn't that the point at first?" she asked gently. "To get close enough to hurt him?"

"No," I said defensively. "Not really, at least. I mean, maybe I was okay with it in theory before I knew him. Before I saw him with his friends, with his cat, with his family. Before I realized he's not just some heartless corporate robot. He's..." I trailed off, unable to find the right words.

"The guy you're falling for?"

"I hate you."

"You love me." She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "But seriously, Em. You need to figure this out before it blows up in your face. Because trust me, the way Cole's acting? It's going to blow up."

I nodded miserably. "I know. I just... I need to find the right moment."

"And when exactly is the right moment to tell your almost-boyfriend that you originally took the job to spy on him?"

"Maybe never?" I suggested hopefully.

Kora just gave me a look.

"Fine." I slumped in my chair. "I'll tell him. Though after the other day, I'm not sure he'll ever let me close enough to explain."

"You have to try," she said, checking her phone. "Speaking of the devil, I better get back before Cole throws another stapler. Try not to have any more dramatic confrontations while I'm gone."

I threw a piece of muffin at her, but my smile faded as soon as she left.