28. ~Skylar~

I smiled to myself.

I hadn’t had many of those over the last two years—genuine smiles.

Moments of contentment. Happiness.

But as I laid sprawled out on the grass with my pencil flying across my sketchbook and that once beautifully familiar need to create and bring my fantastical characters and worlds to life rolled through me, that was what I felt. Content.

No, more than that.

It was exhilarating to be able to recapture that sensation.

It used to be my lifeblood, basically.

Being without it had been like missing a real part of myself.

Just like being without the boys had.

Now all that had changed.

I’d been delving back into my creative pursuits, sketching, working on my game sequel, even having Caleb helping me with some of the coding too.

And there’d honestly been no stopping it once I’d started when the boys had set me up with that laptop and my sketching materials.

There’d been a lot of talk in the house lately of Bastian coming so close to graduating and it had inspired me—well, lit a fire under me—to start thinking about going back to college again. Not Luxe, though. No, where I should have been in the first place before I’d made that detour out of fear.

The weight that had been lifted off me when I’d finally put Jett down after so long was unbelievable. For the first few days, I’d had trouble processing it. That it was finally over.

I no longer had that fear that he’d inspired in me, looking over my shoulder and always worried that he’d come at me again once I rebuilt my life, that every time I got back on track, he’d rip it all away. He couldn’t now. He was gone. Absolutely gone.

There was nothing holding me back now.

Nothing stopping me from moving forward.

I just felt so… liberated.

And I was determined not to stop with that now.

The only cloud over the bright new day that had come was the fact that I couldn’t share in any of it with my dad.

I couldn’t tell him that I’d gotten justice for Mom.

I couldn’t show him what I was working on.

I couldn’t tell him how much the guys had helped me, how much they meant to me.

I couldn’t show him that the four of us belonged together.

All I could do was miss him.

And hope that one day he’d be able to channel all that rage and grief, like I’d been learning to do, into something far less destructive than he was currently engaging in. Destructive to him, because he wasn’t processing it, just using his high-stakes and extremely dangerous black ops work to shove it down, to not feel any of it.

So long as he did that, he wasn’t only lost to me from a distance perspective with him being deep cover, but he was also lost to me emotionally.

It was similar to how Bastian had shut down for so long and now I could see just how hard it must have been for Caleb and Caspian when they hadn’t been able to reach or connect with him during that time.

Maybe one day my dad could turn it around like Bastian had.

“I’m so proud of you. You’re more than even a survivor, Sky. You’re a true warrior.”

Those words of my dad’s had kept me going through a lot. When I hadn’t been able to draw strength from myself, I’d drawn it from him—from those words.

Every now and then, when the world got in the way, you needed a reminder of who you really were at your core

And that was mine.

“Skylar?”

I blinked at the sound of the familiar voice, realizing I’d stopped sketching, and had been staring into space for God knew how long.

“Hey,” I answered, looking up at Caspian now standing over me, his hands shoved in the pockets of his black suit pants, pushing his matching tailored suit jacket back kind of like a cape. His black and silver tie was perfectly positioned as usual, a focal point against the crisp white shirt beneath. He had his long hair styled in a half-up, half-down do this time.

He looked as sexy and as formidable as ever.

Before I could stop myself, I was literally licking my lips at the sight of him.

Being outside on the grounds was also bringing up some dirty memories of that night of our hunt too.

“You’re home early,” I said, rising to my feet with my sketchbook and pencil in hand.

I stretched onto my tiptoes and kissed his cheek and he wrapped an arm around me, nuzzling against me in that affectionate way of his.

“I’ll finish up in my office here later on,” he said, as we pulled apart. “I wanted to make sure I returned before it got dark.”

“How come?”

“A couple of days ago after you dealt with Jett, you mentioned wanting to visit your mom’s grave.”

My breath caught in my throat. “And you wanted me to decompress from that op first and all the intensity that came along with it.”

“And you have.” He took my free hand in his. “If you’d still like to go, we can leave in a few moments. Bastian is on his way home from his support group and Caleb has just finished up a project he was working on for the last couple of days.”

“I’d love to.”

He smiled and gave my hand a squeeze, leading me inside.

As we walked into the kitchen, he tensed a little.

“What is it?” I asked.

“So attuned to us now, aren’t you, love?”

“Just like the three of you are with me.”

He looked at me adoringly, then that tension was back, as he told me, “You’ll need to prepare yourself. Your house… it’s in ruins, Skylar. Initially, I considered rebuilding it should you ever return so you wouldn’t have to see it in that state, but ultimately I decided against it, not wanting to do so without your agreement.”

The fact he’d actually thought to do that was unbelievably touching and so incredible.

“I’m prepared,” I assured him. I put my sketchbook and pencil down on the kitchen island, then wrapped my arms around his waist. “Thank you. So much, Caspian.”

He held me to him and rested his head on mine. “Of course, love, whatever you need, we’re here for you.”

“I know. I know you are,” I breathed against him.

Maria Bennett.

Beloved Wife and Mother.

I kneltin the grass in front of the white marble gravestone.

An intricately designed rockery encompassed it, fresh white lilies—her favorite flowers—in crystal vases positioned every few feet.

I smiled, knowing it was the work of Caspian. He’d not only made it so beautiful, he’d also had it taken care of so well.

Even when I’d seemed lost to them forever. He’d still gone out of his way for me.

I looked over my shoulder at the three of them standing a few feet away watching me and being here for me, while also giving me some space to be with my mom.

I tried to ignore the sight of my former family home behind them—or what little was left of it. Caspian really hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said it was in ruins. In fact, he’d been very literal about it.

And it hadn’t just been the bricks and mortar of the family home that had been decimated that day. It had been my actual family too.

Losing my mom. Then losing my dad in a whole other way.

I focused on them. On my men. My found family.

They made that easy to do with Caspian smiling out at me, Caleb giving me an encouraging thumbs-up, and Bastian blowing me a kiss.

I sucked in a breath, then turned back to my mom’s grave.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to come here,” I spoke softly. “I’m even more sorry that I couldn’t come to your funeral to say a proper goodbye.” I shoved a hand through my hair. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever really be able to say goodbye to you, Mom. I don’t want to. I want to feel you here with me, even when you can’t be physically.” Emotion started to choke me as I voiced what I’d been keeping to myself all this time. “I got him. The one who did this to you. He’s gone. It’s over. Finally over. I just… I just wish I’d managed it before that night, before it had come to this. Losing you, losing so much almost broke me, but I’m getting better.” I stroked her headstone. “And I’m going to get back on track with school and everything. Make you proud.”

Some of our last words we’d spoken where we’d finally been on the same page rolled through me.

“My fortitude and my determination to follow my passions, that’s you with your career path. It might not be the same as yours, but those traits come from you.”

Her eyes lit up as I saw it actually sink in.

“Those are some of the most important parts of me, Mom.”

Emotion welled in her eyes, and she threw her arms around me again, holding me even tighter to her than before.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie.”

“I’m sorry too.”

She’d always worried that we hadn’t had anything in common, that everything about me had come from my dad and not her. But that day we’d both realized that there was also so much of her in me. And I hadn’t forgotten it since.

“You were also right about how I felt about Sebastian. It’s actually Caleb and Caspian too. It’s real what we have. Real, raw, and undeniable. And I’ve taken the leap. I’m beyond denying it and putting up walls. I’ve let them in and it’s been incredible. I just wish you were here to see things finally working out for me, to share in the joy of it all. And I wish you were here to fix what was broken in dad that night. Even I can’t reach him, Mom. I’m just hoping it’s a case of time for him, then he’ll come back.”

I sank onto the grass, the coolness of it soothing my bare legs in my little black dress.

And then I continued to talk to her, dispensing with the heavier stuff and focusing on the lighthearted moments of late, the goodness, the love, all of the positives.

By the time I ran out of things to say, darkness had fallen.

I rose to my feet, stroked my mom’s headstone again, then forced myself to step back and turn away.

Realizing I was done, the boys didn’t waste any time coming to me.

“Thank you for bringing me here. I needed it more than I realized.”

They wrapped me up in their arms, their care and love all over me.

I sank into it and let their closeness and comfort roll through me.

I finishedtowel drying my hair, then slipped on a pair of blue satin pajama shorts and a matching tank, the straps beautifully adorned with embroidered silver butterflies.

I hung the fancy towel up and sucked in a centering breath.

I’d needed the shower to soothe the emotional weight that today had turned out to be. Instead of shoving it down, I’d let myself feel it all in its entirety and processed it in the healthy way Doctor Granger had been teaching me to. As such, going to my mom’s grave hadn’t impacted me negatively, it had actually helped me. I was really glad that I’d gone. In fact, I was going to make sure I did it a whole lot more.

I stepped out of the bathroom.

And then I was pulling up short at the sight before me.

The guys were in my bedroom.

More than that, they were smiling at me as they lounged on the bed.

Caleb was leaning back against the headboard, his hands crossed behind his head with his feet up, dressed for bed in just his gray sweats, his sexy inked bare chest on display. Bastian was perched on the side of the bed in black boxers and a white tank. And Caspian was in his fancy mulberry silk pajamas.

“Well, this is certainly a sight to behold,” I commented, as I walked to them.

“Right back at you, darling,” Caleb said, eye-fucking me with every step I took.

That, combined with the three of them staring at me so intently and being on the bed, had a delicious wave of awareness rolling through me.

Caspian patted a space beside him at the foot of the bed. “We have something for you.”

“A present,” Bastian said, excitedly.

I gestured at my desk with the laptop and sketching equipment. “Haven’t you given me enough presents already?”

“Not quite,” Caspian said cryptically.

“This one is special,” Caleb told me, rubbing his hands together excitedly.

“Well, consider my curiosity sparked.”

I took a seat beside Caspian.

Caleb pushed from his relaxed state and drew closer, along with Bastian.

And then Caspian reached into his pants pocket and pulled something out.

My breath caught in my throat when, in the next second, he was holding out his palm with a necklace nestled there.

A very special necklace.

A silver chain with a heart pendant surrounded by angel wings.

There was an orange gem set near the heart’s center.

“What the—really?” I uttered, unbelievably taken aback.

Bastian chuckled. “Yes, really, beautiful.”

“Long overdue,” Caleb said.

Caspian ran his fingers over the gemstone. “Orange to symbolize your confidence, your boldness, and the warmth you bring to our lives, love.”

He reached out to me and then draped the chain over me and clasped it at my nape. “Ours,” he spoke vehemently.

“Ours,” Bastian and Caleb enforced in unison.

I smiled out at them, tears pricking my eyes as I fingered the pendant, understanding the beautiful weight of this moment, of what it meant to them, to all of us.

“Yours,” I told them.

Bastian beamed out at Caspian. “Your wish came true.”

“Wish?” Caleb asked.

“He made a birthday wish,” Bastian told him. “For the four of us to come back to each other.”

Oh my God.

I couldn’t contain it and in the next moment I was cupping Caspian’s face, then taking him in a deep kiss.

I was expecting him to respond in his usual all-encompassing way, that thrilling dominance of his breaking through and clashing with the fierceness in me.

But he surprised me as he didn’t escalate it and instead took his time, kissing me back softly, savoring it.

A gentle tug to my hair had me looking over my shoulder and Caspian breaking the kiss to smile at Bastian behind me as he sank his fingers into my hair and took me in a sensual kiss too, licking and nibbling at my lips, before dipping his tongue into my mouth and curling around mine with toe-curling strokes.

As I turned into it, I felt Caspian caressing my bare shoulders, teasing down my arms too, across to my stomach, warming me. As his hand slid underneath my tank, I moaned into Bastian’s mouth as Caleb nipped at my ear, then soothed it with his tongue, before teasing my throat with erotic wet, warm strokes.

Bastian eased back from the kiss and I instinctively turned my head toward Caleb, licking at his lips. He smiled and opened for me and I sucked his tongue into my mouth, exploring and savoring him.

I pulled away and pulled my tank over my head, baring my breasts.

I’d barely managed it when Caleb leaned in and took one in his mouth. Before I could catch my breath from the sweet intensity, Bastian moved in and trailed his tongue over my left breast, drawing slow, sensual circles.

“God,” I gasped, throwing my head back.

Then Caspian’s hand was sliding inside my shorts, his fingers dragging through my folds and making me squirm on the bed and moan out into the room.

It wasn’t wild and out of control as usual.

No, they were taking their time.

They were worshipping me.

And I’d never felt so adored in all my life.

The words left me easily, “I love you. I love you so much.”

“Beautiful, we love you,” Bastian said, lifting from my breast and stroking my cheek.

“Love you, darling,” Caleb told me, kissing my neck.

Caspian stroked his thumb over my lips. “This is what it is to be loved by us, Skylar.”

I smiled out at them.

It was more than even love.

It was belonging.

They were my home.