23. ~Skylar~

They were all over me.

In the sweetest way.

Caspian cradled me against his chest, his semi-hard dick pushing against my lower belly as he supported my body in my utterly boneless state, holding me steady while Caleb ran the soapy washcloth over my skin, cleaning off the dirt and blood.

I moaned and tipped my head back as Bastian continued washing my hair, working the shampoo into a lather as he stood a little off to the side behind me so the warm shower water poured over my back, relaxing me.

I could feel Caspian’s fingers tracing the burn scars over the small of my back, exploring the markings, the raised flesh. But he didn’t say anything. It seemed like he was actually trying to soothe them with his soft touch.

His loving touch.

Just like what all three of them were expressing to me.

I was still shaking from the over-stimulation of them ravaging me so completely earlier.

From monsters to men.

It was a heady transition, one I was struggling to reconcile.

That had been beyond intense.

But I’d reveled in every moment of it.

Of them all over me.

Of the pain and pleasure assaulting me at such intense levels.

At the depravity of it all.

The completely animalistic, fucked-up nature of what had gone down.

I’d never experienced anything else like it in my life.

And through the danger and brutality of it, there’d also been an underlying current of security that had enveloped me. I’d just known, without a shadow of a doubt, that they would never really hurt me, never take it further than I could handle, that they’d been there for me, to help me exorcise all that toxic shit from my system like I’d needed so badly after that confrontation and those sick revelations of Jeremy’s true intentions.

I’d felt sick with it. Pissed too.

But mostly ashamed.

Ashamed that I hadn’t recognized what he’d been doing to me.

Ashamed that I’d been in such a vulnerable state that it had actually been possible for him to take advantage of me, to manipulate me. Me. The tough bitch who didn’t take shit from anyone, who could go toe-to-toe with the fucking Jackals and the likes of Caspian King himself.

God, I’d really lost myself these last two years.

Tonight, with the boys, was the first time I’d actually felt like I’d been fully back in touch with the old me—the real me.

The strength, the power, the confidence, the conviction.

All of it.

“Thank you,” I found myself uttering against Caspian’s chest.

I could feel three sets of querying gazes on me in the next moment.

“Pretty sure that should be the other way around after what you let us do to you out there,” Caleb said, now moving to wash my shoulders, careful not to press too hard over the deep scratches and bite marks etched into my skin there.

“Yeah, it went further than I even thought it would,” Bastian said. “Especially for our first time coming back together physically.”

“Wow, B, really toning it down there, huh? Especially for you and your psycho, no-holds-barred tendencies when it comes to our woman.”

Bastian splashed some water from the shower in Caleb’s face. “I’m reading the room, the peacefulness of the moment.”

Caleb blinked away the water Bastian had flicked in his eyes, then licked up the droplets that had hit his mouth. “Yeah, like I said, toning it down. Majorly for you.”

“Caleb,” Caspian spoke in that firm, yet smooth tone of his. He reached out and stroked Caleb’s wet hair softly. “Everything is well. She wanted that, she was ready for it, there are no regrets. Not even concerning the marks that you left.”

Oh. That was why Caleb had seemed so antsy since the scene outside had come to an end and we’d all come back to reality after being caught up in that heady spell of carnality. I remembered Bastian telling me that Caleb had a thing about not leaving any marks on the women he fooled around with. Just women. He’d told me in secret that it was because of the awful things that had happened to his sister when she’d been kidnapped. The abuse she’d suffered wherein the kidnappers had also scarred her in despicable ways. It still haunted Caleb to this day and, despite his need for pain during sex, he’d always been scared to take it too far with me in that vein.

Until tonight.

He’d fed off the animal that Caspian had unleashed and he’d ended up succumbing more than he ever had with me before, marking me with the branch, and even biting me and leaving marks that way too.

I reached out to him and ran my fingers over his cheek. “Caspian is right. What happened was incredible. I wouldn’t change any of it. In fact, it’s gonna live in my memory. And at the forefront too, for a very long time. I’m so happy you finally felt comfortable to let go like that with me. I know what a hurdle it was for you and it means a lot that you gave me that.”

“Yeah?” he responded quietly, a vulnerability that I wasn’t used to seeing from him bleeding through.

“I swear it. And I… I kind of like having your marks on me—all of yours.”

“Kind of,” Bastian spoke. “Those words with those blushing cheeks actually mean you fucking love it.”

He eased my head around as he washed my hair so our gazes could connect, and I grinned at him. “I do. It’s like carrying a part of you all with me.”

His eyes lit up and then he was softly brushing his lips over mine, taking me in a sweet and tender kiss. “We feel the same way about your marks on us, beautiful.”

“I’m glad,” Caleb said, nuzzling my neck.

Caspian tightened his hold around me. “What were you saying thank you for earlier?”

“Yeah, we kind of got sidetracked, sorry,” Caleb said, returning to washing me carefully.

“For helping me when I actually needed it after all, even when I didn’t recognize it at the time. For bringing me back to myself.” I gritted my teeth and forced the next words out, just needing them to be heard, or maybe to cast them out to lessen the toxicity threatening to burn through my veins, “I’m sorry I couldn’t admit it, that I couldn’t let myself see it for a long time… I just hate… feeling like that… needing to be saved… not being able to go it alone with every little thing.”

Caspian cupped my face. “It’s not a weakness to be vulnerable, love. Everybody needs a helping hand once in a while. All of us have over these last couple of years. And taking the help or assistance that we needed has made each of us stronger in our respective ways.”

“He’s right,” Caleb said.

Bastian stroked my hair. “Not asking for help when you need it only leads to more pain, Sky.”

“I get that now.” I smiled sheepishly. “Well, I’m beginning to.”

“We know,” Caspian said, stroking my back. “We know you are, love.”

“Thank you for being here with me through it all, everything you’ve done to help me, all your efforts. It means so much to me.”

All of that, combined with the intensity of what happened earlier took me over, and I couldn’t contain it, emotion taking me over, and before I knew it, I was burying my face in Caspian’s chest and breaking down.

“I’m sorry I got so lost,” I sobbed, clutching his shoulders like a lifeline.

Caspian held me tight to him, then Bastian and Caleb wrapped themselves around me too, whispering words of comfort.

I sank into it, into them.

They’d found me.

They’d brought me back.

And I wasn’t going anywhere ever again.

I’d started to feel it back then and it was even stronger now without all my barriers in the way with me trying to keep it at bay because of my fear of losing myself if I’d let it all in.

But I wasn’t afraid anymore.

And with everything that had happened, it had become clear that letting them in wouldn’t result in me losing myself or power. In fact, it was the opposite. We were stronger when the four of us were together. We fit together in a perfectly imperfect way.

This was where I belonged.

The words left me, free and unencumbered. Raw and honest. “I love you. I love you all.”

I felt the three of them freeze as my confession floated out there.

Then Caspian’s voice cut through the stunned silence, “We love you, too.”

“Damn straight, we do,” Caleb said, nuzzling my shoulder.

I lifted my head a little to look out at Bastian.

Those hellfire eyes of his were aflame.

But not in that usual dangerous way.

No, this time it was different. Deeper.

Absolutely mesmerizing.

His next words were beyond even that as he confessed, “I fell in love with you two years ago, beautiful. I even tried to kill it while you were gone, masking it with hatred and enforced distance and distraction, but it didn’t work. Nothing ever will. It’s too fucking strong. And I don’t want it to anymore. I never want to stop loving you. And I won’t. I can’t. You’re here with us now and that’s it, no more going anywhere.”

I smiled and grasped his nape, holding him tightly to me, his beautiful words infusing me. “I’m here to stay, Bastian. I’m here to stay with you all.”